Rundown (6/13-6/18) Segmented Summer Showcases (S3) 2022: Oops! I Wrote a 30,000 Word Novella Again!

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Wherein I discuss the progress of OPPAI 3, the Persona port puzzlement, Capcom’s subpar S3 showings, the continued Re;Birth of Final Fantasy VII, two HOT SPRG leaks, a possible niche revival, and a decompiled classic.

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Rundown (9/08-9/14) I Stan My Stand

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In my reviews of The World Ends With You Final Remix and Pokemon Let’s Go Eevee I mentioned the difficulties I encountered when trying to play both these titles in handheld mode, and how I sought to remedy this through the use of the Nintendo 3DS Stand that came bundled with Kid Icarus Uprising.  It was something I was quite happy with, and cut forward about a year I am still using this stand regularly.  Yet rather than playing oodles of Switch games, I’m instead using it to prop up my smartphone so that I can play games without needing to hold something for extended periods of time.  Part of me feels that this is antithetical to the very idea of handhelds, since I am not holding them with my hands. Another part of me recognizes that I am enjoying games more by playing them my special way, so I’m going to keep doing that.  
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Rundown (06/17-06/23) The Conclusion of Chaos: Part 1

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So, this past month has been very hectic for me on account of having had the audacity to take two summer college classes at the same time, which is an undertaking I would not advise anyone to do, as it eats up your time and can be a source of undue stress. However, the completion of these classes indicate that I am nearly done with school, as I am within arm’s length of my bachelor’s degree.  For most people, that would be the conclusion of the chaos that is school, but I have resolved myself to becoming a Certified Public Accountant, and in order to attain such an elusive goal, my educational pursuits will need to continue for at least 2.5 years.  So while the act of ending this semester and doing all the work I needed to attain a bachelor’s is a considerable landmark for me, the true end of the chaos that is secondary education won’t be until 2020 at the earliest.
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Rundown (9/13-9/19) TGS 2015: Darkest Despair!

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0 PL Japan Breasts Woman FanserviceI’m not sure how often I’ve brought this up, but I think that Free to Play games were among the worst things to happen to the industry in recent years, and there have been a lot since I got in this industry’s intestines, mostly the large one, where poop is dried out, around 2006. But after reading this little piece by somebody who has been getting neck deep in whale blood as his employers tried to manipulate individuals with mental problems for the sexiest thing in the mortal world, Kentucky granola, also known as USD, I feel I have an opportunity that I shall not waste, if only because I love the line and it is mostly true. Free to play games were a mistake; they’re nothing but trash. I hope they are outlawed by 2033, when the Great African War begins and half of it is destroyed by a nuclear explosion. Buy War Bonds in preparation of the war to end all wars! (more…)

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Rundown (8/30-9/05) Metal Gear Anx!ety: Borderline Obsessive Perfectionist

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0 SCD Kojima Snake Metal GearMetal Gear Solid V came out this week, and people are unsurprisingly adoring the game. However, even if I weren’t keeping to my word to not buy the game before September 1, 2017, as to make my claim that I wouldn’t buy the game for ‘years’, I don’t think I’d be that interested. Quite simply, the base building, open world, and ranking systems all sound like the worst thing you could do with a narrative driven stealth game. Missions? Fine. But ranking and grading systems stir all sorts of bad anxieties inside my butthole. (more…)

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Rundown (5/24-5/30) Old Tech Can Kiss My Butt!

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0 SNAFU Youth CHild Kid I am not old enough to understand age this is ancient and out of my rangeSo, Kung Fury came out and everybody was happy with it. I personally thought it was an energetic and slightly disorganized little romp that knew what it wanted to be, and managed to be just that. It was an intensive labor of love that will likely not age all that well as the 80s children start dying out, and people wonder why the video quality can be so shitty at points. I get that it is a throwback to times of old, but while I think VHS tapes are cool and had quite a collection as a youngster, they are pretty crap when it comes to image quality. (more…)

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Rundown (8/03-8/09) Butts Are Everywhere, I Repeat, Butts Are Everywhere!

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KLK Tired of empty claims and endless boasting you are nothing but a pathetic lair so shut up and go to floor suck dick in dirt 1You know what I’ve realized as more Pokemon Mega Evolutions have been coming in? That Mega Evolutions are not a very useful part of Pokemon. Yes, they are definitely useful when going up against an opponent while having a Pokemon who can Mega-Evolve, and they do look cool, but comparing that to a proper evolution is like comparing riding on a donkey to riding a jetski. I understand that some Pokemon cannot be allowed to be as overpowered as Mega Charizard Y, but would it have been so hard to simply give certain Pokemon, especially ones with only a single stage, a new evolution, minus the Mega. Hell, this is the one time where the word Mega seems to make things worse, as stats aside, it is far worse than any proper evolution. Regardless, I’m still getting Omega Ruby at launch, well, after I get a new SD card. (more…)

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Rundown (4/14-4/20) A Clever Title That Was Wasted On Demon Sharks

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NR Unknown Shark Crab from hell awesome radical confusingYou know, I actually did have a bit planned for this opening shtick, but I decided that it would be better on another piece this week. So for now I shant speak a tidbit about bums, and will now just admire that header… thing’s hideous, right? Yeah… video games.

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