Rundown (9/13-9/19) TGS 2015: Darkest Despair!

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0 PL Japan Breasts Woman FanserviceI’m not sure how often I’ve brought this up, but I think that Free to Play games were among the worst things to happen to the industry in recent years, and there have been a lot since I got in this industry’s intestines, mostly the large one, where poop is dried out, around 2006. But after reading this little piece by somebody who has been getting neck deep in whale blood as his employers tried to manipulate individuals with mental problems for the sexiest thing in the mortal world, Kentucky granola, also known as USD, I feel I have an opportunity that I shall not waste, if only because I love the line and it is mostly true. Free to play games were a mistake; they’re nothing but trash. I hope they are outlawed by 2033, when the Great African War begins and half of it is destroyed by a nuclear explosion. Buy War Bonds in preparation of the war to end all wars!

Battle Chasers: Nightwar is an RPG with JPRG combat, WRPG branching storytelling, and CRPG randomly generated dungeon spelunking by some ex-Vigil staff, which is evident as the title looks like Darksiders if it had a few more anime influences, and an overall better visual style. Now, I was unaware that Battle Chasers was even a thing before hearing about this title, so I only based what I saw off of A, the quality artwork, and B, the description of the mechanics, which I’m not super keen on. The dungeon rest stops, loss of items upon death, random status effects, Initiative bar, and Mana systems all make me a bit uneasy, and unwilling to back it at $30 after I missed the initial announcement.1 Nyarko Okay, We'll comply Fine Accept

Nintendo’s new president is Tatsumi Kimishima, the former President of Nintendo of America before Reggie came in, head of Pokemon USA, CFO of the Pokemon Company, some managerial roles throughout the company, and was a banker before all that. Okay, so not a seasoned game developer, but from what has been revealed thus far, he will follow in Iwata’s footsteps and will possibly act as a placeholder boss while a younger successor is named, so I guess he will only be around for a few years before stepping down… Well, this is quite underwhelming.2 PL True right correct understand turtle true pity party

Seeing as how one can easily link Tatsumi Kimishima to Pokemon, some new details were revealed, or rather clarified for the new Zygarde forms. So, Zygarde is composed of a bunch of cells, not real cells, but whatever, Pokemon doesn’t even understand the definition of evolution. These cells join together with other cells, and cores, part of Zygarde’s bain, which forms these dogs who represent ten percent of Zygarde, but when they all get together, they will become… What is probably my least favorite Pokemon design ever because it looks like nothing. Also, that Greninja variant is likely an anime-exclusive thing as it represents how Ash’s Greninja loves him enough to transform… Who the hell is even running the Pokemon Company these days?3 CDI Princess Pie Cake Goat the fuck

Well, they’re better than Comcept, whose apology for the nonsensical delay of Mighty Number Nine in order to fix some multiplayer bugs, that of a Trial version, was, itself, delayed… Yep, Mighty #9 was a mistake, it’s nothing but trash. This sort of incompetence is pretty amazing when you look at people like Scott Cawthon, who managed to release four games over the course of a year, and is still working on more in the form of Five Nights At Freddy’s World. It will be an RPG spin-off that simply uses the characters and supposedly lore from the prior games while not continuing the story as it is, in fact, done. 4 Haganai Homo Erotic It is so Good Yaoi

Call of Cthulhu developer changed from Frogwares to Cyanide Studios, the people behind Styx: Master of Shadows. And now it is coming out in 2017. It’s pretty uncommon to see a game change developers partway through, it would almost be like somebody completing another person’s novel, album, or any such thing. It’s also odd, and a bit troubling, how Minecraft: Story Mode, the Telltale game series, is launching physical copies with only the first of five episodes on disc, when the appeal of a disc is that you don’t need to download the game. There’s also the whole ‘game preservation be damned’ bit you can gather from from this, not unlike the closing of a MOBA after two years or what have you, as is the case with Dead Island‘s MOBA, which will be a dead island within a month.5 Elfen Lied Dead Little Girl

Now that we’re talking about dates, a predictable Bioshock Remastered Collection for PS4/XBO will be released, as leaked by a South African retailer, which claims the title will come out in late November. You know, because that is a good time to release enhanced ports. Q1 is not much better, especially this upcoming year, as titles such as The Witness will hit PS4 on January 26, 2016 after seventeen years of development… okay, half of that. I just think it’s funny to say that something took seventeen years for some reason. also releasing in Q1 is Star Fox Zero, as the Wii U has few games for 2016, its final noteworthy year by my guess. 6 Yamada This is the end my friend gone over dead bye bye go away never again final

So, TGS happened this past week, and Sony naturally led the charge with a slew of announcements, but I consumed the news as I got to it, so this rundown will not follow any true Chronological order. And for the sake of organization, I chose to list stories by publisher, because that makes sense, I think. Starting off with Sony proper, Gravity Rush: Remastered is coming to the PS4, before the end of the year in Japan. While Gravity Rush 2 has been properly announced, and will be out next year. As expected, both of the games look fine, but after simply not enjoying myself with the first one, which is free with Playstation Plus, I can’t say I’m interested in checking them out. I’m sorry, but I really do view motion controls as one of the worst innovations in gaming. They were a mistake; they’re nothing but trash!7 MLM Lost Control of Emotions Yell

Moving onto games Sony does have a hand in, Bloodborne: The Old Hunters, the teased expansion of the potential GOTY of 2015 looks like the base game, which could be good or bad as it provides more of the same good stuff, or perhaps it will feel a tad derivative. Who knows? Either way, thanks to an odd comment from the official Bloodborne facebook group, Bloodborne 2 is possibly in development. Also, Dark Souls 3 looks pretty cool, the series will be annualized at this rate, and as long as it is still good and filled with unique elements, I say why not. I do have something to say about Bandai Namco, Dark Souls’ international publisher and their decision to reboot the .Hack series, which I honestly have no experience with, via a smartphone game that retools the concept entitled New World. But I am a crotchety old man when it comes to handheld electronics, despite being somebody who also will build a computer by year’s end. Smartphones were a mistake, they have negatively impacted society psychologically.8 PM play with your phone some other time you lseepy dumb dumb idiot pants mobile smartphone ios

Speaking of phone-based re-whatevers of existing franchises, although this one is also coming to the Vita, Square Enix is also working on a 3D remake of the first Mana game. A title also known as Final Fantasy Adventure, Seiken Densetsu, and Sword of Mana if you remember the GBA remake. Oh, and this is, unsurprisingly, also a test of sorts to see if Square Enix wants to remake more of their classic games. Also for the Vita, Square Enix has Saga: Scarlet Grace, that Saga anniversary title that Square Enix announced a while back for Vita, but chose to only show off concept art, because that proves that the game is in development. Oddly enough though, Square Enix’s Tokyo RPG Factory branch’s debut title Project Setsuna, now called Setsuna of Sacrifice and Snow, and it had a thirty-second chunk of gameplay to show. How does it look? I really hope that the Vita version was the one they showed, as it was pretty underwhelming, and the PS4 version will most likely look better. Concept art looks way better than the game regardless, just to show how silly concept art is when it comes to showing off a game.9 WataMote Adorable Face of beauty

Same with CG, which is what Dragon Quest Builders, that Dragon Quest X Minecraft title, was shown off with despite the game coming out in about four months. I still am unsure how this combination even works or what the ultimate goal is in this cube based adventure, but then again, I really only care about the proper Dragon Quest titles. My apathy carries over to World of Final Fantasy, but more based on the art style though. I love cartoonish designs and actually do like chibi characters, but the big square heads really do ruin the charm the game is trying to exhibit by an incredible amount. At least for me. Star Ocean: Integrity and Faithlessness also has a visual gripe for me, as the faces look too realistic in my book, and the entire thing could benefit from a bit more of a cel shaded look, as would many games, but there is enough there for me to give this title ago. I mean, not in the nothing trailer that was shown, but based on what I’ve seen up until now. Oh, and because Square Enix is Square Enix, they have cancelled Final Fantasy Agito+, and turned it into Final Fantasy Type-0 Online.10 Nobunagun bitch slap for being such a dumb butt asshole why you not nice screw you deserve to be hit big company salary man

But I cannot go ahead before addressing Kingdom Hearts II.8: Final Chapter Prologue which is likely that Kingdom Hearts 2.9 from last week, and is another compilation , this time for the PS4, containing Dream Drop Distance HD, the newly created 0.2 Birth by Sleep: A Fragmented Passageway, and an HD theater of X[Chi] Black Cover… Yeah, I make fun of stupid titles, but this is just too much. And before you ask, it’s not a double standard that I like the stupid Japanese Danganronpa titles, such as New Danganronpa V3: A New Semester for Everyone’s Killing Life. Because that name is knowingly stpud and not a load of pretentious wank. Yes, this is the third main entry in the series, and I really don’t think that anything was really shown here aside from a possible revised gameplay mechanic, but I also want to stay in the dark about this title until I get it and am playing it on my PS4… which I’ll get sometime in 2016. But don’t worry, it’s still on Vita too.11 DR fuck yeah this is awesome love it great extreme hyper

Spike Chunsoft is doing a similar multiplatform thing for their collaborative title with Tri-Ace, Exist Archive, and I was honestly a bit stunned at how bad the in-game character models. It looks like an early 3DS title more than a Vita game. Maybe it’s just early, but after Danganronpa: Ultra Despair Girls, it looks like a generation behind. Persona 5 looks to be just the opposite, and looks to be a major and slick jump for the series, was delayed to summer 2016. And as compensation, there will be a Persona 5 anime… Remember when the game was announced to come out in Winter 2014? Well forget that and look at how Atlus is also now publishing the Kickstarter success and rad looking sprite based action RPG Cryamore as its publisher, acting mostly as a distributor and marketer. That is, presumably, unlike their role as proper publisher in the latest Vanillaware title, 13 Sentinel’s: Aegis Arm, which I know nothing about based on its debut trailer. Okay, there is a platinum blonde girl who probably pilots a giant robot, but that’s it. Or in other words, I should just ignore this PS4/Vita game until 2016. Kay, thanks for teasing this a year in advance.12 Muramasa Rebirth

I’m pretty sure it was last week it was announced, and I just forgot to talk about it, but Guilty Gear Xrd: Revelator was shown off, and it looks far better, visually speaking, I know nothing about fighting games mechanically beyond how I fundamentally do not find them to be appealing than King of Fighters XIV. The fourteenth title marks the series’ unwanted leap into the third dimension, and based on the snippets of the prior games that I’ve seen, it is not the most graceful leap. But hey, SNK has about seven dollars in the bank at this point, so I guess this is better than some stupid spin-off. They don’t have Sony money like Street Fighter V, which will include the fan-favorite Karin as part of the day one roster. 13 PGOS Packed My Fighting Spirits

Capcom are also making a Unity developed competitive action focused Resident Evil game Resident Evil: Umbrella Corps. …Happy 20th Anniversary, Biohazard! And happy 15th, Ace Attorney, as you are finally getting an Anime in 2016, though no details were offered, because why should they be? Ace Attorney 6 was shown off, and it will apparently involve Phoenix Wright acting as the one defense attorney in a remote village that is a century or three stuck in the past. Also there’s magic waters and you are going up against a princess. So yeah, it looks good. As does Monster Hunter Stories, which is a far less intimidating title than the others, and more initially appealing as you are fighting monsters with smaller monsters you you ride on instead of with a weapon whose animations you must memorize to the frame… Look, I don’t need a 200+ hour RPG, okay? I just played two MonHun demos and did not enjoy them.14 Mari no filthy dirty awful monster demon devil rapist cunt goat whore never no not the duck suck it hard onee-chan

The type of monster slaying I find to be appealing is a lot more action-oriented, I suppose, or in other words, something like Ni-Oh, a Team Ninja and Koei Tecmo game that was assumed to be quietly cancelled after its debut in 2004 as a PS3 title, which would have been canned if fans haven’t kept bugging them. Does it look to be worth it? Well, it looks to be a pretty nifty monster slaying Samurai adventure with demons, magic, and other fun stuff in addition to having some obvious Souls influences. Another Koei Tecmo subsidiary, Omega Force, is working on another game about monster slaying in feudal Japan in the form of Toukiden 2.  A 2016 PS3/4/Vita title that only had a CG trailer that teased a potential grapple mechanic for fighting giant monsters. It will also be open world, which is a trend I really hope people begin to get tired of sooner than later. I’d take a hardened ten hour experience in a mansion over a thirty hour experience over three square miles.15 P4G Sad and upset waaah I anna go home and not be surrounded by bad shit and unfun trash

I know that is not Omega Force’s thing, but seeing as how Omega Force’s Attack On Titan looks nothing like their Warriors series, and appears to be a nifty Titan slaying bloodbath, I am hoping they can evolve as a developer through this generation, although I do ultimately want the best for most people who aren’t massive bellends. I also want localization, yada, yada, Land Of No Night, that new Gust RPG, will be localized in early 2016, thank you, port it over to PC since I know you love doing that, Koei Tecmos. On the subject of localization, it is not that likely that the newly announced Yakuza Kiwami, a remake of the original title and Yakuza 6 will come to north America unless 5 and 0 do gangbusters whenever they are finally translated. I mean, the first Yakuza was butchered in English, so they cannot use that script.16 MGX Typo

Okay, this is getting way too bloody long. The PS4 is receiving a price drop, at least in Japan, Morpheus is now called Playstation VR, and Colorful PS4 Faceplates are going to be sold in Japan. It was also rumored, or rather leaked that several PS2 games have been approved for PS4, meaning the system may finally be getting some form of backwards compatibility. Chrom and Lucina will be coming to Project X Zone 2, A new Hatsune Miku was announced for Vita, and Ubisoft announced Jack the Ripper DLC for Assassin’s Creed Syndicate was brought up at TGS despite the fact that I don’t think Japan cares very much about the Assassin’s Creed… or DLC.17 Japan

Now, to tend this stupidly long post with a sour note about everybody’s new least favorite game studio, Konami. Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain is getting actual Horse Armor DLC, because Konami is out of touch to the point where they cannot remember one of the most infamous pieces of DLC. And the company has decided that beyond PES 2016, a game whose bad PC port they attempted to hide using Steam’s layout when purchasing bundles, they will no longer develop AAA games. Could you at least put your IP up for sale instead of choosing to feed off of nostalgia in order to promote your gambling machines? It’s bad enough that, in Japanese culture, you cannot leave a company when it turns to shit, as that is not how things work in that country, meaning many developers will be trapped and go through an awful life where they need to assemble pachinko titles instead of designing digital world. #FucKonami18 SCD Castlevania

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