SIIIIDDDYYYEEEEEEOOOOTTTTT!

OR BELID RJI Q UTKS FU ‘TUAMS, VTADJID EKK YTUBODI, EMS KIECID OR E VTABNKIS BIDD!

Deeeessspppaaaaaaiiiirrrrr!

it makes the world go ’round, crushes all promise, and leaves it a crumbled mess!

Natalie: “Yes, it has been a full year since the last proper Ramble, as I’ve preferred to expand and inflate my Rundowns. But it is a Natalie.TF, formerly Nigma Box, tradition to cap off each year with one of these and by FUCK was this a nasty little year. We are in a nasty era, smack dab in the middle of either the prelude to the end of human society, or in the dark era that precedes a revolution. Because without widespread systematic change, we be straight fucked, yo!“

Natalie: “Yeah, this is going to be a primo negative Ramble, but I would like to launch an ex-pire-ment with the 12th annual year-end post, just to make it a li’l bit more FUN! So I’m going to be shooting the shit, chewing the cud, and doing the dingo with the help of my all-star cast!”

The Natalie.TF All-Stars: “This bitch must’ve been on drugs, trying to get this monster done. Guess I can’t complain about it since it’s pretty fucking lame! Still my God, this girl’s totally Nuttz, getting all of us around to do something like this!”

Maxxie & Nuttz & Black Vice: “How many obscure references can she possibly squeeze into a 30k medley about pop culture crap—”

Natalie: “How is politics pop culture?”

Jessie: “How does the political machine affect global popular culture?”

Peatrice the Talking Dildo: “Oh poor Natzy-chan! It appears that you’ve lost far more than just your sanity if you are making such decisions.”

Natalie: “Oh, great, the talking dildo is going to join up too. At least it’s better than the dog-fucker.”

Verde Dusk: “Hey! That is not canon! And Wheatley has been relegated to the dustbin of history.”

J.J. & Pyrie & Zedaki the Cactus Woman: “Just like us!”

Natalie: “Oh, what’s that? You thought I’d be SANE going into this year? HELL NO! I have achieved the highest state of my life, ascended to the realm of XXX (30-years-old) and I shall commemorate this with either the illest shit I’ve ever spouted… or something that is just dreadful and unreadable.”

Akumako: “So without further ado, let’s rock this bitch!”

Elliot Schwartz (Age 20): “I’ll do anything at this point to get this Psycho Bitch to finish my damn novel. I’ve been waiting for six and a half years!”

Shin Abigale Quinlan: “Hold on, hold on. Before we get started, Natalie wants me to inform you that this post will deal with heavy topics and some very depressing topics, along with harsh language, including slurs. Because she is trans and thinks that gives her the okay to use the f-slur.”

Natalie: “So please, grab a snack, put on your favorite music, and enjoy a trip into the mind of a non-certified madwoman! It’s Natalie.TF’s Natalie Rambles About 2024!”

Cassie: “Naaaaattttt!“

Natalie: “Yes, best friend Cassie?”

Cassie: “Snug.”

Natalie: “Snug!”

Alas, as Natalie embraced Cassie, Natalie fell through the very floor beneath her feet. For if she is going to discuss such topics, there is no better place than The Graveyard of God. A place known by many names, but its truest and most valued is that of Hell.

Also, hey. I’m Urabe from Verde’s Doohickey 2.0, and for some reason Natalie assigned me as the narrator for this bizarre creation of hers. She said that ‘somebody had to do it, so it may as well be the robot.’

Table of Contents:

Part 1-1: America Has Declined
(And It’s All Because of The Consolidation of Power)

Natalie: “Aaaawwww shit! It’s time to kick things off with the big guns, with American politics! And there’s no better person to help me with this than the 41st President of the United States. The anti-pedophile himself, Devin Verres! Give him a round of applause everybody!”

Cain Steticks: “Yeah!”

Jeremiah Pepperoni: “Woooo!”

Pantsalou: “I just shit my pants-a-lou!”

Devin Verres: “Thank you, thank you. As Natalie said, my name is Devin Verres, and I was elected president, but I haven’t taken office yet. For the how and why, check out Psycho Shatter 1988. Now… why did you bring me here?”

Natalie: “To talk about the political climate surrounding my version of America.”

Devin Verres: “Pfft. Where do you even start?”

Natalie: “Well, at the beginning. The quality of life for the working class American has steadily been going down over the past two decades, due to a variety of factors. Global economic shifts, rising superpowers, but the biggest reason for this declining quality of life can be attributed to the actions and priorities of the people who have been put in charge of this government. A functional government, with access to as many riches as the United States, has the resources to do so much good. The resources to facilitate affordable world-class quality healthcare to the majority of the population. The ability to fund a wide variety of beneficial programs for its tax base. And the power to mandate that people be paid a living wage, lest a company be punished.”

Natalie: “The US government, as a government, has the ability to help both its people and people all over the world. However, the people leading it choose not to. And the reasons are pretty much always the same. Because politicians, by and large, do not desire that, nor do the people who fund and support them. Congress is full of rich people who want to cut deals and pass regulations that will benefit them in their future careers. Lobbyists are able to dictate what laws get passed and approved. And while the US, as a democracy, should not be able to be swayed by oligarchs, it pretty much has been since the 1980s. A decade you are very familiar with.”

Devin Verres: “Of course I am! And the long and short of it is that Richard Rooadoot Ratters—”

Natalie: “We call him Reagan in my timeline.”

Devin Verres: “The problem is that Reagan was always a man driven by hatred. Hatred over Black people, over communists, and a fervent believer that rich people are good, hard-working sorts, and only they should be allowed to lead. Be allowed to control the world. While poor people? They can vote, but only between the two people we tell them to vote for. So, he revised the government to his liking, reset the spectrum of acceptable political thought, pushed some bullshit economic theories to get things passed, and put forth a good face. The fact of the matter is that he was just putting his plan in place to make America a less democratic country. A country that cared not for its people, and put corporate interests and industrialists above all else. He would spin half-truths and fear mongering lies, and Americans believed him, because they were desperate for a man like Reagan.”

Natalie: “And after that, America has simply yo-yoed between its two parties, with both gradually becoming more authoritarian and right-wing. Because Reagan’s policies allowed the rich to get richer. Because politician became a step in a larger, more capitalistic career. The people stopped being a focus for the country, and they were replaced with the interests of the highest ‘class’ of people, the corporations, and the ultra-wealthy. Billionaires were rare back in the 80s, and the combined wealth of every billionaire in the world was around $300 billion. But now? It’s over $12 trillion, spread across less than 3,000 people. In America alone, it’s about $6 trillion across 800.”

Devin Verres: “…What’s the inflation difference between 1988 and 2024?”

Natalie: “262%.”

Devin Verres: “Huh. That’s actually lower than I’d guess.”

Natalie: “Inflation was stagnant for a few years, and only a few years saw 70s level of inflation.”

Devin Verres: “So, that’s what happened. Both parties just stopped caring for the average person and only cared about the investor class? All while waxing platitudes about how they support the average person and will take down Wall Street, big corporations, and make tiny bits of progress, while allowing things to gradually decline. Oh, and don’t tell me, you still don’t have Medicare for every citizen?”

Natalie: “At this rate, we might not even have Medicare…”

Devin Verres: “Ha! That’s quite a mess you got yourself into. So, I take it that the Republicans won?”

Natalie: “Yes, look at the header image. All thanks to the extreme, if not deliberate, incompetence of the Democratic party. And now we can finally get into the near-present. Ahem. The Democrats had ample opportunity to pass protections and improve the country after Biden was elected in 2020. However, they were never as aggressive as they should have been, pursued bipartisanism with a group who hates them, and did precious little to improve the quality of life of the typical American citizen. When Roe v Wade was invalidated by a morally apprehensive and malicious Supreme Court, they did nothing but offer empty promises. When they saw that people were struggling immensely and that wealth inequality was worse than over, they declared they should do something, before doing precious little. When Trump staged a fucking insurrection, they dragged things out for four years and waited too long. Because they believe in following ‘the rules’ above doing the right thing.”

Natalie: “However, the worst thing they did was choose to have the incumbent president, Biden, run for re-election in 2024. When he was in severe cognitive decline and barely able to do his duties as is, let alone in four years from now. He should have always been a one-term president from the get-go, and the Democratic party should have been positioning a boring middle-aged White dude. Like you Devin. Well, maybe a bit older than 42.”

Devin Verres: “Hahaha. Yeah. While America is a melting pot, there are people who just think it’s wrong for anybody but a White man to be in charge of things. Only Klansmen will say no to Black congressmen or congresswomen, but when it comes to the top of the pyramid? They just think it’s comfortable. And old age, in their eyes, does not really matter, because age means wisdom. Even though anybody with an aging relative knows that the decline is real. Some people are better, everybody’s human, and humans break down when they reach their 70s.”

Natalie: “Exactly! Biden was a risky choice even in 2020, but come 2024 and after his failure to make a difference, people wanted things to get better, not to stay the same but slowly decay like their leader. So, at the last fucking minute, they propped up vice president Kamala Harris… and from minute one, these bastards knew their odds were slim. They were so sure of themselves with Biden that they fucked themselves, the country, and the world.”

Devin Verres: “I take it that she lost in a landslide then?”

Natalie: “No. You see, the modern American presidential still uses the electoral college, and really only seven states determine the election. Harris did well in all of them, even better than Biden in some regards… but more people just voted for a convicted felon. For a White Supremacist who has a decade of incompetence and failure on display and who has destroyed the minds of millions with the lies he speaks with such confidence. Why did this happen? Because the Democrats were not catering to the people’s desires. They did not offer true solutions to issues that people have been living with for decades. People were pissed at the Democrats for not doing more for them, and some people just could not vote for a Black woman.”

Devin Verres: “I know they weren’t ready for that in ’88, but for things to be that way in 2024? Sounds like something went wrong.”

Natalie: “However, that is not the full story. The right-wing propaganda machine and corporate-backed conspiracy theories have destroyed the minds of millions of people. It made them think that fascism, racism, sexism, and more are core tenants of the American identity. These people are one issue voters, and the issue is appeasing their thought leaders, the tribes they have chosen to affiliate with. Or, alternatively, they view the Grand Old Party as the alternative to the norm, and are willing to give something a shot so long as it is different.”

Devin Verres: “Times change, but people don’t. It sounds like Americans are just as irrational, emotional, and prone to thinking in terms of aesthetics as they’ve always been. Except it’s even worse when billionaires own the newspapers and TV stations.”

Natalie: “Yes, and those legacy media institutions have woefully failed to inform Americans about the polices the Republicans wish to enact, or explain how it will affect them. Project 2025 was published years leading up to the election, a manifesto and guidebook for how they want to make America a worse place for the overwhelming majority of the population. It was written by people who worked for Trump, and the guy who wrote the foreword is going to be vice president. It was a transparent statement of intent, and neither this nor the countless insane ideas that would ruin the lives of millions uttered by Trump, were used against them as much as they should have. Meanwhile, when Biden fumbles over his words or does poorly in a debate, it is newsworthy. It is a gross double standard, but it makes sense.”

Devin Verres: “Because if something benefits the news companies, then they are going to be biased toward it, no matter what.”

Natalie: “The entire situation is fucked, and there is precious little that regular individuals feel they can do. With the police being so well funded, they will assuredly crack down on public protests or demonstrations against politics. Forcing people into vans before imprisoning them for expressing their right to free speech. Attacking them with nonlethal munitions, bludgeoning weapons, and tear gas. Or just outright killing them if they feel they can get away with it. Meanwhile, those who are unaware will likely remain in blissful ignorance. Thinking that the reason their social security checks don’t cover their expenses is because of Haitians stealing people’s faces using space voodoo magic. …Actually, no, some definitely believe that.”

Devin Verres: “At this point, is there anything I can do other than laugh?”

Natalie: “It’s either that, cry, or sulk in despair. Because now it’s looking like the entire political regime implemented will be devoted to four things. Revoking the rights for the common people, especially queer people. Rendering the government as an ineffective husk of itself, functioning more like a military dictatorship. Continuing the dire death spiral that working class Americans have been going through for two decades. And stuffing the pockets of more billionaires, who are building up so much influence that they may become the de facto leaders. Namely Elon Musk.”

Devin Verres: “…Musk? What’s next, you’re going to tell me that the third richest guy’s last name is Bozo?”

Natalie: “…Basically.”

Devin Verres: “You sure that this isn’t being written by some dime novel writer? Next to this, hundreds of thousands of people deciding to kill and rape children on the same day almost seems quaint.”

Natalie: “Sadly, this is reality, and now… there is just an extreme amount of uncertainty in the future of America as a country and a government. We know it will be bad, but not how bad it will be, and when it will end. If confident morons are the ones issuing demands, then rules can be bent and broken. Good people can just stand by as monsters in human skin choose to do what benefits them and hurts everyone else.”

Devin Verres: “What about you though?”

Natalie: “What about me? I could try my hand at joining an organization or attending some town meetings, but I am really not made for that sort of thing. I’m not an activist, I’m not a public speaker. I don’t have the charisma to inspire people. I don’t have the guts to lead, let alone the smarts. I’m just some weird queer girl who got lucky and got enough smarts in her head to be living a comfortable life. And… that’s what I want. That’s what I want for everybody. That’s what people should want. But… they don’t. They don’t want to imagine a world where everybody can win. Because they have been lied to and misled for decades, and believe that inequality is a good thing. Even if it hurts them, because at least the right people are in charge.”

Devin Verres: “Natalie, it’s not really that simple. As you know, I have lived the lives of many other people in the past, and seen how they work. It is not that they think inequality is good. It is all a matter of perspective. Good and bad are not objective terms, and they never have been. People are products of their environments, of their parents, and what they see in their journeys. And most… simply do not think about the big picture like that. They don’t have the time for philosophy or for fancy book learning. They just focus on and worry about what they can change.”

Natalie: “Then… how do you get people to analyze things on a greater level, to care about others, or understand that their underlying ideologies are just… wrong.”

Devin Verres: “Education, exposing them to the truth, dumbing it down for them like they’re kids. That works for some people. But a lot of people don’t learn from books or words. They learn fear from just about anything, but they don’t understand unless they see something with their own eyes. Until they are living in it and see what is possible. It’s like that old phrase, ‘it’s easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism’. For a writer like you, for an autistic person, for someone with a Master’s degree from a truly multiethnic town, you can imagine that. I certainly know the kind of things you can imagine. But not everybody is like that. They just aren’t.”

Natalie: “…If some people cannot change, cannot understand the truth until they see it staring them in the face, then… how can things improve?”

Devin Verres: “Well, I know your answer. To cause a great event that will force people to cling to something new. For them to be betrayed and be given something new and better for them to invest their faith into. Though, from what you said, even if Trump and Musk were to rape children on national television, there would not be a universal outcry.”

Natalie: “Of course not! They’re powerful men doing things that weaker men wish that they could do. That would usher in the golden age of pedophilia!”

Devin Verres: “So, what can be done? Just wait for Trump’s core demographics to realize that he is an awful man and demand that he change his approach?”

Natalie: “That would be ideal, yet is so unrealistic it’s absurd. Instead, I think it will take something more directed and focused. You see, the key thought leaders here are small in numbers. 800 billionaires is not a lot, and there are even fewer right-wing Federal politicians. And if the problem is a few people with too much power, they could be removed in several ways.”

Devin Verres: “In their car, in handcuffs, or in a body bag? I had a feeling you would go there, but bear this in mind. With how extreme your society is, there is little chance of the law doing anything, or these leaders leaving of their own accord. And with their hateful ideologies, it is unlikely that they, as a group, will undergo a schism. That’s the key difference between right-wing and left-wing organizations. Right-wingers are trying to bring back something old and have a template to follow. They know what their goal looks like, and any disagreements can be put aside in this vague pursuit. Left-wingers are building something without a clear template, and disagreements lead to fracturing, because they cannot commit to the unknown.”

Devin Verres: “So, the best way to deal with right-wingers is simple. Vote them out of the office, force them out of the office, or make them unable to serve their office. Whether it be an injury or something more severe.”

Natalie: “Wait, should you be talking about this, Mister President?”

Devin Verres: “Oh please. I’m not being recorded. You know that I’m really Black Vice. And as a US president, I know that killing people gets things done! That toppling governments with manufactured coups or conflicts is enough to end opposition and gives you the opportunity to force someone into office. Look at history, see how leaders lost their position, and make things happen. By any means necessary.”

Natalie: “Are you asking me to do it? Because I cannot drive a car or use a gun properly. Any threat I would or could make is hollow.”

Devin Verres: “No, I’m not asking you. You’ve already painted a rather sad picture of yourself. For you, just focus on writing your stories and doing your work. It’s the only way I’ll get more screen time after all.”

Natalie: “In other words, I just need to cope and hope that things get better, while being helpless to meaningfully change anything beyond my selfish little existence?”

Devin Verres: “…Yes. That’s normal for most people.”

Natalie: “…I guess it is, but I still… I still feel so much dread and uncertainty, as I do not want what I have built for myself to be taken away. I have a home, I have a passion, and I have a good job. But now, all of that is at risk! If the economy implodes, if the tax system goes to hell and I cannot find work as a tax accountant. If trans people like me are deemed an illegal existence. If a lot of possible bad things happen, then my peace can be destroyed. I don’t want to flee. I don’t want to abandon what I have spent my whole life building up for. I have the tools needed to make myself happy, but the fucking Feds are trying to take that all away from me!!”

Natalie: “I fear that my peace will be taken from me. That peace will be stolen from millions of people. And… I won’t be able to help them. I tried helping people in the past, sending them far, far too much money, but with dire times ahead of me, I guess I need to be selfish. To focus on what I need, and try to ignore what is beyond my control. …Except my job is political, my entertainment is political, and my existence is political. I HATE politics… because politics are everything.”

Devin Verres: “…Did you get it all out?”

Natalie: “Yeah, I think I’m good with this first topic. I kind of wavered around a bit but… now I can talk about something simpler.”

Devin Verres: “…Video games?”

Natalie: “No, you blackface fuck! It’s time to talk about GENOCIDE!“

Part 1-2: Much Ado About Israel
(America’s Plan to Genocide All Sand N*ers Vol. 17!)**

**Source: Euro-Med Human Rights Monitor**

Natalie: “Now that I have gotten that out of my system, time for a lighter topic. Good, Old-Fashioned, and Honest Genocide!“

Jar of Cum: “My favorite!”

Natalie: “…Who the devil are you? You’re just a bunch of spunk in a mason jar and… how are you even talking to me?”

Jar of Cum: “Racism!”

Natalie: “Yeah, I guess racism is pretty powerful. It truly is the darkest forbidden art of our modern era… But for real, who the fuck are you? Just a disgusting pervert otaku?“

Jar of Cum: “The fuck’s an otaku, you monkey-humping faggot?”

Natalie: “Oh! President Richard Rooadoot Ratters! A man based on the evil and malicious Ronald Reagan and named after a shirt worn by someone in a fruit-themed Kamen Rider series! You’re somehow even worse than Weiss Vice, you know that?”

Ratters, the talking jar of semen, then proceeded to somehow lift his own lid and squirt out a spoonful of semen that flew directly toward Natalie’s face.

Natalie: “Ah… Ah drats.”

Ratters the Jar of Cum: “Wuzzat? You were supposed to become my slave with that!”

Natalie: “Sir, you are just regular talking spunk. Weiss Vice’s powers don’t flow through you anymore. In fact, I don’t even know how you are talking right now, let alone why you are here! So let me just go through this quickly before you start spraying yourself into my hair. Because I do not want to deal with that again.”

Natalie: “Anyway, this topic is all about America funding and supporting the genocide of Palestinians by the Israeli government. It’s a topic that I have been able to avoid seeing— which is good, as I don’t like looking at dead children. This is a highly political topic, but there has been precious little pushback from politicians, who refuse to listen to the people they are theoretically supposed to represent. The US government has bipartisan supported the efforts for the Caucasian residents of Israel to destroy the native people of the region. With the Biden led Democratic party being particularly gung-ho on Israel’s right to ‘defend themselves’. They’ve been passing legislation to equate Israel with Judaism. Supporting college campus’ efforts to ban protest on their grounds and punish those who dare to exercise their constitutional freedom of speech. And refuting claims that Israel’s leaders should be tried in an international court.”

Ratters the Jar of Cum: “Bahahaha! All according to plan! I always knew old Joe would live up to my legacy. In fact, he went even further than I thought he would. America needs a military base in the Middle East to keep them monkey-ass sand n***ers in check, and we made Israel for that purpose. The Jews were just a shield to protect us real humans from being seen as racists and colonizers!”

Natalie: “Yeah… the relationship of being Jewish in America is an odd one, and as someone who lives in a town that is only noteworthy for its relationship to Jews and Nazis, I have a rather warped perspective. The perspective that Jewish people are just White people… except for when they are not. Jewish people will ultimately align themselves with White interests, are as receptive to fascistic goals and genocide as non-Jewish people. And non-Jewish White people benefit from this relationship, because they can brand their opponents as anti-semites.”

Natalie: “Israel is, in many senses, a testing ground for America. For surveillance technology, for the ability to cover up war crimes, and to desensitize the global community by making whatever they do seem tame by comparison. It is not a sanctuary for historically oppressed people. It is a place for victims turned colonizers to express their hatred with violence as they enact boundless destruction. Cities reduced to rubble, homes destroyed, communities devastated, and people left to starve and die out. They have deemed the indigenous Palestinians to be all terrorists by blood, and have deemed their own actions as just. It is just genocide, it is just fascism, and it is revolting on every level.”

Ratters then squirted another dollop of cum into Natalie’s face.

Natalie: “Gah! WHAT? What part about that wasn’t true?”

Ratters the Jar of Cum: “Oh, it was aaalllll true. It just satisfies me to hear about. For decades, there were all these talks about how to balance Israel. It’s Jews, its sand n***er Muslims, its Jerusalem. But now, the only problem is cleaning up West Bank and then, the expansion.”

Natalie: “Oh right. There was all that shit about them trying to encroach on Lebanon and annex more territory just so they can expand their control and power. Combine this with Turkey embracing ethnic cleansing and wanting to attack Syria some, that entire region is in for some terrible decades. There are so many bad conflicts happening, and all for no reasons more complex than a lust for power, for land, for resources. It’s a transparent hatred of the other and an obvious desire to wipe them off the face of the Earth, even if they comply with no hesitation. And all for what? What good is this land and this power?”

Ratters the Jar of Cum: “What good is power? You dumbfuck fag! Power is its own reward. Wealth is its own reward. Leaving a legacy, a dynasty, and moving borders is its own reward! You get to shape history, the world, and present it in your own image! An image where you and your people are on top, and everyone else is on the bottom. That is the point, that is what is good. And that… is what gets me hard, even as a puddle of spunk!”

Natalie: “I really hate your genre of people, Ratters. But like I discussed with your killer, I am just a powerless disabled queer bitch who can barely take care of herself. Doing anything about this is… simply beyond me.”

Natalie: “Let’s see… what did I talk about last year? AI is still a burgeoning problem, and has been forced down people’s throats so hard that it is getting unavoidable. Especially since Google made their dumb Gemini bullcrap mandatory for searching. And yes, I tried other search engines. None of them are as good at getting me what I want. I am more annoyed by the sheer amount of garbage fluff AI images I keep seeing in search results, trying to trick me into thinking it is real before I realize it isn’t two seconds later. Really makes looking for references for things a ripe pain in the ass. All while AI has utterly failed to make my life any better beyond helping me more quickly look up information for work. And even then, Checkpoint is just a bad search engine.”

Natalie: “The echoes of the pandemic have largely faded away into corporate greed, even if COVID is still around.”

Natalie: “Enshittification is still a thing, but was less talked about this year, and I have little to add to what I said before.”

Natalie: “Twitter was getting real bad in 2023, and has continued to decline as owner Elon Musk’s awful influence and power has grown. But a large sect of lefties moved over to Bluesky. Which is basically just a Twitter reskin, so similar I get the two confused constantly. I’ve switched over to using both, but… actually, that is a good idea for a segment.”

Part 1-3: Dealing With Digital Dysfunction
(And Addressing My Brain Rot)

Natalie: “Okay, who are the gods going to pair me up with for this round? Because this is a topic pertaining to technological trends and systems I engage with as a 14-hours-a-day computer user. Ideally, it should be someone who is technically literate and proficient… or just the opposite and be a—”

Before Natalie could finish that thought, the next guest arrived in a poof. As the smoke cleared away, it was revealed to be none other than central protagonist of TSF Series #010: The Island of Doctor Bitz, Kayla ~~Jones~~ Gonzalez. A beautiful Hispanic woman in her 20s dressed in flashy yet light clothing that indicated she was from somewhere without real seasons. …Or the southern hemisphere.

Kayla Gonzalez: “Uh… where am I? And who are you?”

Natalie: “Kayla, love! Welcome to Hell! I am Natalie Neumann. I’m the reason you’re still alive today… and alive in the first place! It’s been four years since we last met, so how have you been doing? What have you been doing with your life?”

Kayla Gonzalez: “Uh… why am I in Hell? Did I die or—”

One long, boring, and existential conversation later.

Kayla Gonzalez: “Oh, okay. I think I understand what you’re saying. …But that doesn’t answer why you brought me here!”

Natalie: “First, be a doll and explain your whole deal. The president and jar of semen were self-explanatory. You? You require context!”

Kayla Gonzalez: “I was an 84-year-old White man with a net worth of nearly a hundred million, but I was miserable in my aging, deteriorating body. So, I took a gamble on some experimental subtropical resort that put me into this current body. It’s a long story. Afterwards, my husband Raven and I moved back to Puerto Rico, under Act 60, through a recommendation by my newly appointed advisors. It is kind of the go-to destination for people after this resort for complicated tax and money laundering reasons.”

Natalie: “Dr. Bitz laundered your assets into crypto and scrambled the crypto for you before you arrived in Puerto Rico, so you could cash them in without paying any taxes. The exact method was illegal— Tornado Cash has given me such grief— but moving to Puerto Rico is a legit strategy for anybody holding crypto.”

Kayla Gonzalez: “Uh… right. So, are you going to ask me about crypto or something or—”

Natalie: “Nope. I deal with crypto enough as a crypto tax accountant. I am here to talk to you about technology! Because you are a member of The Silent Generation living it up as a young person in the year 202X. How have you adjusted to all this?”

Kayla Gonzalez: “Well, for one, I never really knew how to use a smartphone proficiently, and it never felt right in my aging hands, but now… it’s all kind of easy to use. I might not have grown up with technology like one would assume by looking at me. However, most apps are designed to be pretty intuitive and—”

Natalie: “Are toddler-proof?”

Kayla Gonzalez: “Yeah, that’s exactly what Raven said! They are very efficient at letting you do what you want to do… for the most part. Unless something is designed for a phone, it does not work well on a phone, and when an app or web page is poorly designed, the limitations cannot be ignored.”

Natalie: “App design is one thing, but what personally has been burdening me is the fact that there are so many different platforms out there, and so many of them do basically the same thing.”

Kayla Gonzalez: “Now that I understand. Everything is its own app or website and doing so many things requires navigating from place to place. It makes crypto trading a nightmare, but it also makes communication one too. Discord, Telegram, WhatsApp, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, texting. What was wrong about sending mail, faxes, or calling people on your cellular phone? That was all we had during my prime, and we managed just fine! I cannot be a Luddite, but I just watch these— I almost called them kids— these people my age and wonder how they do it. “

Kayla Gonzalez: “Communication across the internet was meant to be simple. You just email someone, and they can have different addresses for different purposes. And with software like Outlook, you were able to consolidate them together. But with all these problems, you can do no such thing. Just… what happened to just sending people information via email, which is near instantaneous and widely used around the world? Do they seriously think that governments would track that and not Twitter?”

Natalie: “Tell me about it. And for faster, more short-hand conversations, email providers like Google were innovating with the ability to create email-based chatrooms. Except they just stopped doing that, and email became a login tool for accessing so many other services that all serve the same general purpose. Conversing with others via text, links, images, and small files. And receiving updates from sources one is interested in. What is being said in this Discord server? What’s populating my Bluesky feed? Did somebody upload a new video? Was this podcast updated? What articles did this news site put out? Did the artists I follow post something? So much of my life is spent checking this crap!”

Kayla Gonzalez: “And it’s all because they think that getting users is the most important thing, so they can begin monetizing them. I have had to listen to too many boring White and Asian men explain their plans for a Discord killer or Twitter killer to know the economic reasons behind it. When that is not what a business should be about. A business should improve the lives of people, not splinter things off all for a quick buck! It might make you wealthy, but that’s not how you’re supposed to get rich!”

Natalie: “What really frustrates me about all this though is that when the web was still in its infancy, they already proposed a solution to the checking for updates problem. And it was RSS, Really Simple Syndication! You just take the sites you are interested in, throw them into there, and bam, you have a feed of updates. Except that does not work for many things, namely social media platforms. Which are designed to keep people on them constantly, and encourage users to keep coming back for more news, thoughts, and information.”

Kayla Gonzalez: “But if you do that, then you spend all damn day on your phone, and if you don’t, then there’s this backlog of bullshit you need to sift through. This isn’t something where it makes sense to segregate accounts into different apps or websites. Not all banking sites should be through one centralized source. But for this? There should be some way to streamline the process of posting things. And if crypto bros want to do something that disrupts the market, they should look into that! Decision makers need to quickly gather and process information, and even on a desktop, switching between all these apps is just a pain in the ass.”

Natalie: “That is all I really want. Just a way to simplify and consolidate the websites I cycle with for entertainment. I just want to be able to press a key command, have my browser open up a sidebar, and show a feed of things that are happening on my socials, my RSS feed, new things made by people whose work I enjoy, and just let me scroll things and clear it out. Because every single day, I spent too much time on my small cluster of platforms.”

Natalie: “Discord for updates on certain projects, Press-Switch discourse, Cassie’s server, and DMs. Twitter for people who haven’t switched over to Bluesky. Bluesky for people whose work I follow and opinions I generally like. Gematsu, Insider Gaming, and GameIndustry.biz, all via RSS, for gaming news. DeviantArt and Pixiv for art that I then need to save and curate into the right folders, because the internet is fickle and temporary. ResetEra for segregated gaming and miscellaneous discourse. YouTube and Nebula for video content that I watch when eating food, doing busywork, and exercising. It is just frustrating for me to have to deal with this sense of upkeep, day in, day out, while not being able to fully control things or customize it to my liking.”

Kayla Gonzalez: “It’s even worse when managing multiple active accounts for my ‘followers.’ And my friends keep on telling me to do this or that, saying I need to foster a following, when… What’s the point? I don’t need to throw myself out into the depths of social media just for the worst people to lust over me or call me slurs. Nor do I need people to know what my thoughts on the current going-ons are, filling up their timeline. If I follow someone, it’s for a specific reason. I know this is not meant to be a professional environment, but it’s also not a chat room or a place for people to spam articles or messages one after the other. If you have something to say, just start your own damn website.”

Natalie: “Just like I did!”

Kayla Gonzalez: “Yes, just like… you.”

Natalie: “This whole lack of quality of life thing is a major problem with the web as a whole, and has been starting to just bug me about dealing with sites for work purposes. The slowness, arbitrary placement of certain things, bad menus, bad redesigns, badly formatted exports of necessary financial information, and all the ‘security’ features that need to be topped up constantly. Interfacing with a computer should be as seamless as possible, but I keep finding more and more friction with the things I need to use. …And also with Windows just not working properly.”

Kayla Gonzalez: “I can’t help you there. I’m into crypto, so I use a Mac for security purposes.”

Natalie: “That’s an actual trend by the way. Every crypto person I know who does significant travel uses a Macbook. And that is primarily for security purposes. Macs have their own deluge of problems, but Windows feels like a routine battle to prevent changes from being forced onto me. From updates changing my default programs to Microsoft approved once. Windows Explorer feeling and performing like a hacked together third-party piece of software with all of its quirks. And the fact that AI features they were pushing onto users are just more sophisticated help centers. When I want a digital servant, damn it! I want someone to organize my files!”

Natalie: “Even browsers have been frustrating me, as I had to switch to Firefox after Chrome started pushing forward updates that rendered some of my extensions useless. But for everything Firefox does better, there’s two things Chrome did better. Namely the history page, Google Docs integration and text formatting, search features, and extension support. Even when things work, there is so often this friction underneath it, and things simply do not work as seamlessly as they should.”

Kayla Gonzalez: “This all takes me back to when we were first trying to incorporate computers into my office during the 1980s. Organizing things with paper and Xeroxes was work. It was a lot of paper, a lot of redundancy and typing to go about, but we got things done. And when we got computers, they were big, loud, and slow, cost us a fortune too, but they could turn a day’s work into something someone could do in an hour. Assuming it worked. We have always tried to achieve peak productivity.”

Kayla Gonzalez: “I was a real asshole about this too. Not understanding what I was asking people to do, and when I learned, I was amazed at what they achieved. No matter the era, this friction has always existed. Even during the Windows 95 era, there was a level of clunkiness to its UI that seems unreasonable after using a phone as my main computer for years.”

Natalie: “…So, is that the lesson here? Technological friction pretty much always existed, but it is easy to forget about the inconveniences you accepted long ago? There is definitely some truth to that, but there is never a reason to grow complacent. Things should always improve, and while perfection may be impossible, better is possible. Or, perhaps, you could just make them widely customizable so people can take in the APIs and bloodstreams that keep the internet alive and craft their own body from these sources. And if I need to pay $30 a month for that, then I’ll happily give you my card.”

Kayla Gonzalez: “…So, you are ultimately asking for the information to be centralized, widely open and available, and to let people pull whatever feeds of information they desire?”

Natalie: “Pretty much, yeah. I live on my computer, and I want to be able to both be lazy with it and focus on as few things as possible so I can devote more mental resources to my work, rather than taking micro-breaks so I can stim by checking my sites. This crap is hurting my brain. It’s not good for me, but I cannot help myself, and using time out extensions does not help, as sometimes I need to spend more than 20 minutes a day checking something out.”

Kayla Gonzalez: “…Okay, I have seen people do that constantly. If someone cannot even keep their phone down when having dinner, something is deeply wrong with them.”

Natalie: “Oh, phones. I use my phone like a GameBoy, video player, and authentication token. If I am out, I’m out, and my phone is only out when I need to use it for something. This problem is when I am on my personal computer, I cannot help myself. Especially while in boring meetings where I need to wait while my boss does something. Because what else am I supposed to do other than idly browse? Just sit on my ass and wait for him to finish, doing nothing? No thanks! I’ve already wasted too much of my adult life doing nothing already.”

Part 1-4: I See Germany, I See France, I See Korea, and I See An International Collapse!
(Fascist Monster: Liberal Democracy Collapses!)

Natalie: “Okay, this one is a doozy, so I’m going to need some help. Yo! Jennifer Gleam! Get your Caucasoid ass in here!”

As Natalie commanded, the 44th vice president of the US, Jennifer Gleam, from Psycho Shatter 1988: Black Vice X Weiss Vice, appeared before her. She was a 36-year-old blonde woman with a commanding presence, and as she saw who summoned her, her blue eyes narrowed.

Jennifer Gleam: “What do you want from me now, Natalie?”

Natalie: “Explain what the hell’s going on in this world! Because this was a big year for politics beyond the United States! France, Germany, Canada, England, South Korea, and that’s ignoring Africa and the Russian Invasion of Ukraine, which is still a worthless yet costly effort by a fallen empire to expand their former glory.”

Jennifer Gleam: “I am not even from your world! And if you are going to summon me here, at least let me get out of this damn cracker-suit!”

Snapping her fingers, Jennifer Gleam began stripping herself and revealing a zipper along the back of her nape. A zipper she promptly pulled to reveal her true self, that of Jessie Shines. A far taller and more muscular Black woman with long coiled hair and a bitter look on her face. With a snap of her fingers, she clothed her figure with a simple tank top and shorts before sitting down in her chair, leaving the skinsuit and clothes on the table. Because where else would they go?

Jessie Shines: “In the time it took for me to change into my real self, I was able to do some research and… this is better than some timelines I have seen. It’s not a nuclear hellscape for one. But your people are just fucking up, big time. And I can tell why. The pandemic made the state of power and distribution of wealth across the world far worse. The ‘middle class’ shrank, the poor got poorer, the rich got richer, and government budgets were trampled. So, people began desiring for the ruling government to change hands during this time of pivotal elections.”

Jessie Shines: “France nearly lost to a far-right party that wanted to blame the immigrants for all their problems and retain the Caucasoid purity of their people. In response, every remotely sane political party rallied together to form a coalition. Except it was a bad coalition. Its members could not agree on anything, and a vote of no confidence was issued this past December. So the government will need to shamble on for another few months before a reelection can be attempted in the summer of 2025, where the results will either be better… or worse.”

Jessie Shines: “Germany is seeing a massive groundswell of its own far-right movement due to economic challenges, many of which are tied to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine and that… COVID-19 pandemic you had. God this really does feel like an alternate universe. And the year ended with another vote of no confidence in the current government, ahead of a key 2025 election. People crave change, feel stagnation, and think that going further right, rather than left, is the best direction. Dumbasses truly exist in every nation…”

Jessie Shines: “Canada is piggybacking off of the United States for a lot of things, but they have consistently remained more left-leaning and a better country to live in for quite some time. …But then their economy went to crap after that pandemic of yours, disenfranchisement leads to a desire for change. Trudeau’s party has been increasingly ineffectual at addressing their own awful housing crisis. The economy is not doing well, the dollar’s value is down, and the people think it’s time for a change… a conservative change. So the more left-leaning party, the New Democratic Party, is planning on issuing a vote of no confidence. And of course the conservatives are going to win, because the NDP leader is some Indian guy with a bushy beard and a turban.”

Natalie: “England, or rather the U.K. is actually in a far more advantageous place than they were under the Tories. They already ran their shift back in July 2024 and traded out the Conservatives for the conservative Labour party. Are they a good political party? Well, it took them only a few months before they banned puberty blockers for all transgender minors. Cisgender minors though? They still can use them. The drugs are okay, so long as they are not for faggy purposes.”

Jessie Shines: “And you already talked about South Korea, didn’t you?”

Natalie: “Yeah. The conservative president was losing power as the liberal party rose in prominence after the April 2024 elections, so he declared martial law, trying to take hold of the country for himself. The members of South Korea’s government told him to fuck off. He is not going to be president for much longer. And this likely means that the liberal Democrat-analog Democratic Party is going to be in power for a good while. Good on them, and good on all the Korean people who helped fight off fascism!”

Jessie Shines: “Combine this with America… and this is just the year of fighting against the incumbents, for better or for worse. Which is fucking stupid, but I suppose people are fucking stupid. I’ve had plenty of experience to know this as a fact.”

Natalie: “So, how do we solve this?”

Jessie Shines: “I’m literally wearing the colors of the African National Congress and have a uMkhonto weSizwe medallion around my neck. You stage a revolution, kill a lot of people, and use violence to make a point. Because the international community will always look down on the military powers gunning down civilians fighting for liberty. But you don’t just go around killing one person, like a CEO, and call it a day. All that does is spur discussion, possibly greater action, but it does not disrupt the system of power. CEOs are just silver-tongued puppets for investors’ interests. If you are going to kill someone, aim higher. Aim for a Republican or a… muskrat.”

Jessie Shines: “Violence sounds the same in every language and, by in large, looks the same in every part of the world. They might not have ready access to guns, but a knife is just as effective if used properly. I do believe in sic semper tyrannis, but that is not cause to do nothing or grow passive. It is cause to accelerate the course of history. To bring an end to this cycle of boundless destruction. If the masses cannot be convinced, then perhaps the radicals can educate them.”

Natalie: “Okay, so that’s your suggestion? To ‘educate’ the masses that far-right politics simply do not work, and kill the leaders of these far-right movements before they can be elected?”

Jessie Shines: “If you kill a cult leader, it shall cause a schism, you cause a power vacuum. It is not a surefire means of success, but people are simple. They crave human narratives, and without a face, then how can they rally behind a king? Truly, it is not that simple. It is a complex mechanism, and sometimes the only way to destroy it is to suffer.”

Natalie: “Or in other words, if these masses wish to fuck around with far-right politics, they are gonna find out that it does for them when their quality of life gets even worse! People will die in the process, and hopefully, when they see their elderly relatives cast out to die on the streets, they’ll wake up to the truth, rather than sleeping away in their fantasy.”

Jessie Shines: “…Is that what these people are referring to when they complain about things being ‘woke’?”

Natalie: “They are not smart or intellectually honest enough to thread the needle on that one. They just spout words without any awareness of what they actually mean. Anybody complaining about things being woke or ranting about DEI is saying two things. They don’t want to be awake and aware of the world around them. They want to be asleep in a fantasy world. And they do not want diversity, equity, or inclusion. They want an ethnostate where inequality is rampant and only the elite are able to make decisions.”

Jessie Shines: “…Well, good luck with fixing that. I’m gone!”

Part 1-5: Digital Surveillance State
(Why Should I Be a Spy When You’re Spying Me?)

Natalie: “Something that’s been on my mind as of late is a trend of trying to ‘protect children from social media and the internet.’ This strikes me as a very… dumb plan, given how the internet has been open to children for 30 years now. There is an entire generation of kids who saw horse fucking before they knew what menstruation was. Or maybe that’s just me. I wrote off these bills and an impossibility, but this is a post-truth, post-logic, post-democracy, post-liberal, post-neoliberal, post-post-liberty, post-human, and post-reality reality. So it’s The Museum of Anything Goes!”

Quintin Abija Quinata: “You gonna get to the fuckin’ point or what?”

Natalie: “Fine, Quintin Abija Quinata from the acclaimed Psycho Shatter 1988: Black Vice X Weiss Vice. You introduce the topic!”

Quintin Abija Quinata: “Australia recently chose to ban kids under the age of 16 from social media. …Wait, what kind of kangaroo math is that shit? Why 16?”

Natalie: “16 is the age of majority and age of consent in Australia.”

Quintin Abija Quinata: “So, a 70-year-old can legally fuck a 16-year-old in Australia? I’m sure pedophiles love that backwards-ass dive.”

Natalie: “Yes, this is the first one of these social media bills to really pass, and I view this as a means to expand government control and turn modern countries into even greater surveillance states. The exact details of this ban are still being finalized, but the idea is that a combination of face scans, biometric data, and ID photos will be used to associate a person with a social media account. They say that it is just to verify things, and that this data will be secure, but—”

Quintin Abija Quinata: “What a load of horseshit! Of course, the government is going to procure the data, use it to pinpoint dissenters based on their social accounts, and arrest them. That is the obvious plan. Because if these power-lusting fuckwits can use something to put people in prison, they’ll do it. Bad politics? Prison! Being the wrong race? Prison! Being part of an organization they don’t like? Prison! They won’t do it right away. This is a long-con. And Australia might not even fuckin’ do this. But give someone the tools and normalize it, and it’s only a matter of time!”

Natalie: “Yep! This is designed as a tool for governments to control who is on social media and ‘observe’ their free speech. However, this is not strictly a way for them to even collect ‘data’. Your government knows where you live, knows what you look like, has access to your medical history, knows where you work, who pays you, and can doxx you if they so choose. And when I say doxx, I don’t mean use your name when you want to be anonymous. Grow up! I mean post your address, social security number, bank account number, credit card details, facial structure that they can extrapolate from an ID or passport photo, everything! Governments have all the information on you. But that’s just one problem. The next is that this data is a damn goldmine!”

Quintin Abija Quinata: “Yeah! If you have a third party holding the data, then all it takes is one malicious douchebag with enough clearance for it to leak. Or someone who can crack through their security. And what happens when this information is out fuckin’ everywhere? There’d be bank fraud up the ass with bogus loans and credit cards. People would be able to make a deepfake of anyone for any purpose. Fucking their kids, fucking the neighbor, committing crimes, all sorts of shit and more! But what really gets things fucked is when this gets to business. You digital dirtbags got so used to your emails, video conferences, and eSignatures. But will that mean anything when someone can forge your biometric data and make a fake video that looks and sounds just like you?”

Natalie: “That is a serious concern. That data leaks and AI advancement will result in identity theft being something both rampant and easy. It is an intersection of technology growing, and rather than being regulated, it is just being abused. Because the truly powerful people, they are safe, they have more means to verify who they are, or you just know where they are. However, regular people, especially older people, are just going to be fucked as the world pushes toward this. This nightmare of biometric verification. I genuinely think anybody who uses a face ID or a fingerprint ID is a darn fool, as they are making a part of them available to sophisticated hackers. Same with the people who sent their DNA in for testing, as that means your DNA records are just out there. And if insurance companies get the okay to discriminate against you because of that, they will.”

Quintin Abija Quinata: “Besides, all of this bullshit about region-locking software and apps doesn’t mean jack shit. Any dumbass who knows that this is happening has been told to sign up for three different VPNs by nine different people. VPNs are cheap, easy, and can cover your ass and keep your privates private.”

Natalie: “And that really is a cheat code to all of this, meaning this restriction will only prey upon the poor and ignorant… who would likely not use social media all that much anyway.”

Quintin Abija Quinata: “Best case scenario, it’s inefficient and doesn’t actually work, because people can work around it. And you know what will be the real test for people? Or at least Americans? Losing access to their damn TikTok accounts!”

Natalie: “Right, I almost forgot about the US TikTok thing. I don’t like the platform, I am generally against vertical video as an idea, as I think it looks bad. Human eyes are made to look at things in landscape format. And I am so used to my old ways that I do see what I would get from the platform. However, it is a platform that the US government does not control, and one that is full of people posting ‘all-American Nazi shit’ and ‘anti-American content’. So the US wants to ban it, and that is on the cards to happen before the Fuhrer takes office. However, its 150 million American users, or whatever, could just buy a cheap VPN and access TikTok that way. It would hammer the VPN industry across the world, but that means more money for them!”

Quintin Abija Quinata: “It’s all just an endless battle for control and dominance, and pretty much just for the sake of it. Not to actually help or protect people. Just to make them less free in what was never a free country. Well, unless you were a capitalist, then it was free game for a long while, and now? It’s freer than ever!“

Natalie: “To circle things back, this all just has me worried about what new hellish steps verification will need to take in the future. That these biometric or facial scan requirements might be seen as so essential that they will become required to get a bank account. In the US, it is already required to log into your IRS account to review your taxes, but you can just ignore that and get information from the phone, or hire someone, like me, to access your information for you.”

Quintin Abija Quinata: “Nice shameless plug, fuckhead.”

Natalie: “I’m an enrolled agent. You can enroll me to do your taxes and represent you before the IRS. Give me money, and I’ll do it, and I’ll do a damn good job of it! But seriously, I do worry a lot about data leaks, and with the upcoming presidency, I really expect a bigger and badder version of The Patriot Act to be passed and erode digital freedoms. It’s why I almost always have a VPN running, but it’s possible that it could just stop working. Sites like Imgur and Fanatical can detect if you have a VPN and will simply not function accordingly. VPNs work now, but… they might not in the future. Any wall that prevents a problem is just that. A wall. And all walls can be destroyed with enough force.”

Quintin Abija Quinata: “You sound like you’re about to head into the woods and become a hermit using a scrambled IP address.”

Natalie: “Puh-lease. I just bought a home last year, and I am not leaving it unless I need to avoid death or imprisonment.”

Part 2-1: The Gamindustri Rundown
(Good Games, Bad Industry)

Peatrice the Talking Dildo: “Kukukuku! I’m so grateful that you have invited me to join you for this segment Natzy-chan! I know you always had a particular fondness for—”

Natalie: “…What do I need to do to make you shut the hell up for the rest of this segment?”

Peatrice the Talking Dildo: “I don’t know. Mayhaps you can fulfill my physical desires in some other way? Oh, that’s right! You can’t. Because somebody chose to get a shallow-depth cunt, rather than the real thing.”

Natalie: “It’s still a vagina, dumbass. I’d shove you up my ass, but I don’t want to get hemorrhoids again. Hemorrhoids suck!”

Peatrice the Talking Dildo: “You really are getting old—”

Natalie: “I got ’em when I was 20, you dick!”

Peatrice the Talking Dildo: “Then, pray tell, how do you expect to silence me? I am a creature who far in a way outwits you in every category and—”

With fervor and furor, Natalie then planted her mouth onto the head of Peatrice the purple talking dildo. Except she did not being sucking off this abomination, whose backstory is detailed in Psycho Bullet Festival 2222. Instead, she brandished her teeth and bit down on this phallus with every morsel of strength in her jaw. With a swift motion, this manifestation of perversion was slain with most haste, and Natalie bitterly spat out the dildo dickhead from her mouth. …Where it landed in a river of lava, burned until it was nice, toasty, and a sufficient snack for Jerimiah Pepperoni. He likes dildo meat and macaroons. Who are you to judge him?

Natalie: “Damn, that felt good. I love writing Peatrice, but being around him is such a pain in the ass.”

Peatrice the Headless Dildo: “Mhrmfrg!“

Natalie: “That’s right! It is time to get started on the Gamindustri Rundown! And… Damn. 2024 really is just 2023 Part 2, wasn’t it? It was simultaneously a year full of great and wonderful games coming out at a ready pace. Indie games like UFO 50, Balatro, Animal Well, Lorelei and the Laser Eyes, Moutwashing, and Thank Goodness You’re Here! provided exceptional experiences that really speak to the creative heart of the industry. And what’s extra crazy is that two of them had a dev team of mostly one person.”

Natalie: “The AAA industry proved that it can still deliver complete single-player experiences for a sane price, following in the ‘industry hallmark’ that Baldur’s Gate III was last year. With games like Astro Bot, Wukong: The Black Myth, Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree, Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, Metaphor: ReFantazio, Like a Dragon 8: Infinite Wealth, Silent Hill 2 Remake, Unicorn Overlord, Indiana Jones: The Great Circle, Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown. And that’s before mentioning that there were two banger Mario RPGs and a new Zelda game!”

Natalie: “If you are someone who actually plays games, or at least likes them and views them as more than a tool for the culture war you enlisted for, you were eating GOOD this year! As for the bad games, there was veritable crap like Skull and Bones, Funko Fusion, Jujutsu Kaisen Cursed Clash, and Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League, but those were just mediocre. There was a lot of mediocre titles. Cooked or slop as the youths are spitting, since mid has become passe.”

Peatrice the Headless Dildo: “Mhrmfrg!“

Natalie: “That’s right! It was a good year for games, and a bad year for the industry, and there’s no better place to begin with that than to consult the layoff website! Which itself is using incomplete information, indicating that… at least 14,600 people were laid off from the games industry in 2024! This makes the industry considerably worse. It pushes skilled and experienced people into other sectors, leaves studios with skeleton crews, and does immense damage to the culture that game developers need to ship a good game. There are economic reasons for this— a lot of investors got spooked after the industry spiked after the pandemic, but this is still a truly shameful display.”

Natalie: “This trend toward downsizing was similarly mirrored in the relative lack of major acquisitions of studios. I mean, I only brought it up eight times this year! Runescape developer Jagex was gobbled up by private equity. Nintendo bought Shiver Entertainment, likely to help them with porting games to Switch 2. OpenCritic was acquired by Vanet, further shrinking the games press industry. Ditto with how Ziff Davis acquired EuroGamer, GamesIndustry.biz, and more. Playtika acquired SuperPlay, which reminds me of how distant the world of mobile gaming is from the perspective of a PC scrub. Behavior Interactive acquired Red Hook Games, the Darkest Dungeon developer, in a move I still think was bizarre. CyberAgent (Cygames) bought Nitroplus much to my concern, as I love classic VN history. Private equity has acquired the glue that holds the games industry together, Keywords Studios. And Embracer sold EasyBrain to Miniclip, because Embracer needs money badly.”

Peatrice the Headless Dildo: “Mhrmfrg!“

Natalie: “That’s right! This is a relatively mild amount of acquisitions for an industry of this size, but you better believe that more acquisitions will come in the following year. With the FTC gutted of a sane woman who did her job and a pro-corporation tax plan in the works, 2025 to 2028 will be just gushing with consolidation. And it will be the woooorst! Or at least that will be the case for other industries. While gaming… is hurting.”

Natalie: “The AAA live service train got a rude awakening after games like Concord, xDefiant, and Suicide Squad Kill The Justice League all bombed and are either unplayable or received their final significant update. Ubisoft, one of the biggest gaming companies in the entire world, is suffering from underperforming and underwhelming titles. Especially after Star Wars: Outlaws struggled to find an audience. Though I am inclined to believe that is in some part due to a hate campaign by the notoriously toxic and far-right sects of the Star Wars fandom. Who despised the game because it had femoid in it. Thus making it totally woke, DEI, and misandrist, anti-white, N-word scented, and incompatible with the ideology of the American Nazi movement.”

Peatrice the Headless Dildo: “Mhrmfrg!“

Natalie: “That’s right! They are the worst fucking people. When they were complaining about SJWs back in the early 2010s, I could kinda sorta see it. This was when Tumblr was big, and a lot of people on there were pushing for some ‘crazy’ ideas, and they seemed preachy at the time. Because it was a lot of teenagers finding themselves on a public website. But at this point, these people have just reached some truly pitiful lows, addicted by outrage and hatred, seeking ways to position themselves as virtuous and goodly. With Whiteness, naturally, being the highest virtue. And the second highest virtue being the balance of power, with the White men on top and the Black women at the bottom. For that is what Christ himself has ordained. Or, at least their interpretation of Christ. Because the Bible isn’t canon unless they say it is.”

Natalie: “Right, right. Gaming. While I was quick to write it off, the Sweet Baby controversy was an enduring one that persisted to this day, and for no good reason. For those not aware, Sweet Baby is a consulting company who provides feedback for video game narratives to help avoid racism, sexism, etc. But modern GamerGaters— that’s what they are— have chosen to spin an obviously absurd narrative that this tiny company is a malicious entity hellbent on eroding the medium of video games. It’s all baseless conspiracy and catastrophizing based on the fact that things are not fully catering to them, because they cannot accept that they are a global minority. So they make up some idiotic scry about a Jewish genocidal sect that wants to destroy American values and end the righteous dominance of the Caucasoid race.”

Peatrice the Headless Dildo: “Mhrmfrg!“

Natalie: “That’s right! These people are not even game-likers. They are game-haters and outrage tourists who only know how to be angry. Not me though. I want to looooove~! And I do love games so, so, much, and want them to be everything and anything they can be, even if I don’t like them. Which is also why I was thrilled to see Ross Scott launch Stop Killing Games. It’s the first major organized initiative to petition governments to protect gaming and gaming history from what will likely be a wave of needless destruction. It might seem like a harsh action, but damn it, the games industry hates libraries! They will burn everything for the sake of profit and keeping people playing games that are being actively monetized! Hell, GameSpot already did that to GameInformer, without warning, those dirty fucks!”

Natalie: “Yeah, every time something good happens, like Unity undergoing major executive turnover and reversing their runtime fee bullcrap, it’s offset by two or more bad things. Like a major indie game publishing studio with billionaire bucks, Annapurna Interactive, losing all of its staff. Or Yo-Kai Watch developer, Level-5 using obvious generative AI in their trailers. Then you have curveballs, like Nintendo suing Palworld developer PocketPair. And other stories, like Roblox being exposed as an X-Rated Pedophile Hellscape.”

Peatrice the Headless Dildo: “Mhrmfrg!“

Natalie: “That’s right! 2024 was the year the bottom fell out from the games industry! And a lot of things happened this year, but if I am going to talk about them in more depth, I should get rid of you, you rod of silicon bullshit.”

Tired and eager to get on with the next step, Natalie grabbed Peatrice the headless dildo and threw him into the lava stream nearby, where his body burned to a crisp in approximately 3 seconds. Fortunately for Natalie, Peatrice did not have any friends, so nobody would object to his cruel yet swift death.

Part 2-2: Nintendo Switch 2: The Unannounced Delight
(Coping with Maxxie)

Natalie: “Hey, you know who takes a throwaway line from one chapter in a novel that less than a dozen people actually read and uses it as the premise for an entire section?”

Maxxie Flare: “You!”

Natalie: “This bitch! So how’s it going, best girl Maxxie, specifically from Verde’s Doohickey 2.0?”

Maxxie Flare: “…Wait, are you just saying that I’m ‘best girl,’ are you for real-real, on the real?”

Natalie: “I’m saying that because it’s true! And I summoned you from your summer of non-stop body swapping funsies for one purpose.”

Maxxie Flare: “You’re gonna give me a better boy-bod?”

Natalie: “No. You’ll get that in act 3 by [REDACTED].”

Maxxie Flare: “OH SHIT! You mean that I get to [REDACTED]?”

Natalie: “Yeah! And then you get to go to the [REDACTED] and punch a Nazi into the next dimension!”

Maxxie Flare: “And then do I [REDACTED]?”

Natalie: “Yes! But enough about that. I’m here to talk to you about the biggest gaming event of the year… that did not happen. Now, you are familiar with the NX, right?”

Maxxie Flare: “As familiar as anybody from June 2015 could be. All I really know is that it will be new hardware, but I always thought that Nintendo Fusion rumor made all the sense in the world. Nintendo won every handheld gaming race since forever, even if the PSP was a huge hit… in Japanland. But there’s this stupidheaded bias against handheld games for being underpowered and not ‘real’ entries in whatever series. It’s some hot bupkis about them not being enough graphics, too baby, and too girl-scented.”

Natalie: “Well, the Nintendo Fusion idea was pretty damn close. Do, you wanna see—”

Maxxie Flare: “SHOW ME! Show me the goods!”

Natalie then produced a Nintendo Switch Video Game Entertainment System from her jumper, its body affixed with gray Joy-Cons and a screen protector. Maxxie longingly looked at this device as it was handed to her, only for her expression to twist as it graced her hands.

Maxxie Flare: “Uh… huh. This really doesn’t feel like a Nintendo system putting it into my hands. And where’s the D-pad? The buttons, the sticks, they’re all good, I guess the plus and minus buttons were carried over from the Wii U, but…”

Faced with confusion, Natalie explained how the Switch worked to Maxxie, detaching its Joy-Cons, introducing its dock, using its flimsy kickstand, and turning the system on.

Maxxie Flare: “Why is the UI so… plain? Did you just choose to have it look like this or—”

Natalie: “The system has two themes, black and white, and no further home screen options.”

Maxxie Flare: “…You sure this is a Nintendo console? Because this feels more like a Vita 2. And you said this came out in March 2017, right? So how much better are the graphics?”

Natalie: “The system’s a bit more powerful than a portable Wii U. Not good enough to run PS4 games without compromises though.”

Maxxie Flare: “Whoa! And they got all of this running on a dang tablet? …Wait, when did Infinity Blade come out? …Nevermind, I guess that tracks. So, did this thing do well, or is Nintendo not in a good place?”

Natalie: “They sold over 146 million units by September 30, 2024.”

Maxxie Flare: “Holy potatoes! Not as good as the DS, but still damn impressive. But I’m guessing that it won’t hit 150 million, what with the Switch 2 or whatever being out.”

Natalie: “Oh, it’s not out yet.”

Maxxie Flare: “…What are you talking about? This is ‘kill the GBA after 4 years’ Nintendo we’re talking about. It’s been almost eight years since this thing came out, so shouldn’t the next system be out by now?”

Natalie: “Oh Maxxie, Maxxie. You are viewing the situation like a Nintendo fan. For the entire year, Nintendo fans have been anticipating and expecting to hear about the next Nintendo system, and Nintendo has not so much as announced it, at all. No Nintendo Direct rundown, no teaser, no digital event, not even a proper codename.”

Maxxie Flare: “Hold up. Did technology just slow down in the past few years? Because this don’t make no sense.”

Natalie: “And it has driven Nintendo fans nuts. You thought the fans were crazy back during the early Wii U and 3DS era? Nu-uh. The fans grew dramatically in size, volume, and age, and they have gotten truly desperate. Throughout the entire year, I have been monitoring this situation, reporting on leaks, rumors, and how Nintendo fans have locked themselves into this perpetual cycle of waiting for the next big thing. All while being unsatisfied with the moment they are living in. Which made sense in summer 2015, when the party was over, most major titles already came out, and they only had a bad Star Fox game to look forward to.”

Maxxie Flare: “Wait, the new Star Fox is gonna be bad?”

Natalie: “Worse than Command levels of bad.”

Maxxie Flare: “Yikes… So, what, Nintendo has just continued to put out stuff on their ‘Switch’? How did their ‘combined development’ approach work out?”

Natalie: “Oh, it’s gone great for them! Though, they have had to supplement their output with less original pursuits. They re-released, remastered, ported, and remade a bunch of games. Over 30. Of the eleven games they published in 2024, five were re-whatevers. And for 2025, all they have announced are two new games and two re-releases.”

Maxxie Flare: “Huh. That is way better than 2016 is looking so far, and way-er better-er than the Wii in 2011. But do you know anything about this Super Switch 2: Electric Warioaloo?”

Natalie: “Yep, we’ve seen it. It’s just one of those but bigger and heavier. Specs should be PS4-ish levels, but with some deep-learning upscaling technology to render games in higher resolutions.”

Maxxie Flare: “Deep-what?“

Natalie: “It makes the games look and run better. However, Nintendo has provided little to no information on the system, let alone its lineup or exact feature set. I mean, I guess we know those little baby controllers are better, since there was a widespread issue where the sticks started drifting over time.”

Maxxie Flare: “A hardware defect? On a Nintendo console?”

Natalie: “I know, right? …But in all seriousness, the Switch is a truly amazing little system and I know you’re going to love it. It might not have everything you could possibly want— not enough Wario— but it was the best ride a Nintendo fan could have taken… since the GameCube era.”

Maxxie Flare: “Hey, that’s pretty damn good in my book o’ tricks! The GameCube was dope! And you think everything will be roses and funshine with the Switch 2?”

Natalie: “They confirmed everything will be backwards compatible. The Switch is still huge and still being widely played, and people, at least those online, have been begging for more power. The one big problem will be the lack of ports to fill up the dry spots in the release calendar, as Nintendo ported over most of their easy to port Wii U games. …Except for Twilight Princess, Wind Waker, Yoshi’s Woolly World, and the Pushmo games.”

Natalie: “It’s all been a truly wonderful run. Even if not every game was a certified classic, a lot of them were, and there was always something noteworthy to play, especially with the overly stuffed eShop. However, I think Nintendo fans have gotten uppity about waiting for so long, and at this point… I just want Nintendo to announce the damn thing so gaming, as a collective, can move onto something new. Sure, keep putting out Switch games, keep the regular install base active and entertained, but there are game-likers and developers alike who just want to move on to something more.”

Maxxie Flare: “…So, can I keep your Switch?”

Natalie: “My Switch? Sure, and here are some games. Go nuts.”

Casually, Natalie tossed a small plastic container featuring various SD card sized Switch games. Maxxie promptly caught it like it was 200 grams of gold.

Maxxie Flare: “Sweet! …But won’t this cause an anachronism?”

Natalie: “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that, missy Maxxie. Besides, it’s not like you’d be able to say anything about this to anyone. Now hop along. Because you have a mighty quest coming up, and need to be prepared.”

In a poof, Maxxie left this Hellish realm behind, and while she did take the Switch with her, it was merely a copy. A clone. As an object not attached to a person, it cannot be brought between these two disproportionate worlds. Meaning Natalie managed to keep ahold of her precious Switch… that she has not played anything substantial on for two years. So, with a sigh, Natalie placed it back into her jumper, where it magically returned to the plastic bin in her closet.

Part 2-3: I Just Want To See Xbox Hit The Gallows…
(Xbox is Everything And Xbox is Nothing)

Natalie: “Now, who is the resident Xbox enjoyer… I know! Tony, I summon thee!”

With an excited declaration, another soul poofed into Natalie’s guest chair, this time being a shirtless young Black teenage boy with stylish silver hair. It was none other than Tony Neukar, formerly Anita Neukar, from the ‘hit’ ‘novel’ Verde’s Doohickey 2.0.

Tony Neukar: “Uh… hey! I didn’t realize that you were going to summon me right now. I was just about to change into something more—”

Natalie: “No, stay like this. It’s funnier this way. So let’s talk about the future of Xbox!”

Tony Neukar: “Right, right. I’m not super into the whole video game world as much as Vidkun, Jade, and Maxxie are, so I don’t know how much help I’d be… and you’re going to talk to me about gaming in 2024!”

Natalie: “Right. Now, you’ve barely played an Xbox One, right?”

Tony Neukar: “Yeah, Vivi has one, ‘but ‘cept she’s barely played anything on it last I checked. I do have this Xbox 360 that magically appeared in my room. I’d honestly love to just keep playing it, catching up on all these dope games Vid’s lending me. …But friends, body swapping, sex, that stuff keeps me pretty busy. And while I know they announced that Xbox One will be able to play some Xbox 360 games, I don’t think I’d want to futz with an Xbone. Vid was hating on it since it was announced to have always online DRM, and its exclusives haven’t been that great.”

Natalie: “At least in 2015, the Xbox actually had exclusives. That’s not the case in 2024 though. Hell, it stopped being the case in 2016, when they brought every upcoming game to PC.”

Tony Neukar: “Wait, what? Then why would anybody buy an Xbox One?”

Natalie: “Gears, Halo, and Forza along with CoD and sports games. It was a console for people who only cared about that and didn’t want to buy a gaming PC.”

Tony Neukar: “So… did they just stop the Xbox after a while?”

Natalie: “Nope! The Xbox One was trounced by the PS4 by a factor of two to one. Almost 120 million versus 60 million. But they still went ahead with the Xbox Series S and X.”

Tony Neukar: “The… the what? Are you talking about the Xbox 4?”

Natalie: “They really should have just called it the Xbox 5… But yes, they seriously called it the Xbox Series X, with a cheaper version called the Xbox Series S.”

Tony Neukar: “…I’m sorry, but are you saying X and S? How can people understand that if you’re calling them on the phone or whatever?”

Natalie: “That is one problem with the system, though it is not quite the cause of the current issues. The PS5 has sold more than twice as many units as the new Xbox, and rather than pivot into funding more games or features, Microsoft… has decided to go in the direction of brand confusion! The message started getting warped when they bought up every developer they could, and it worsened after they acquired Bethesda and Activision Blizzard—”

Tony Neukar: “Huh? They just bought the Call of Duty guys? Would that even be legal?”

Natalie: “In my crazy world, it was. But when you bring in so many thousands of employees, and dramatically change the scale of a company with acquisition after acquisition, then culture and direction dies. The end goal, especially for a company like Microsoft, is to bring in big profits, and bring them in fast. This has destroyed a lot of the culture at the Microsoft Gaming division, thousands of people lost their jobs, and now Xbox is in this nebulous state. They brought a cluster of games over to PS5 and Switch earlier this year. Their big holiday title is set to release on PS5 next year. And every game will be assessed for a multi-platform release on a case-by-case basis..”

Natalie: “This confusion has all been compounded by myriad rumors I reported on throughout the year. And I’m still not sure what they really stand for at the moment. Especially after their latest ‘this is an Xbox campaign.’ They clearly want to turn Xbox into a platform agnostic storefront where users can buy games and stream them on any device. From a smart TV to a streaming box to a phone. They want to turn Xbox from a hardware platform to an app, and that does not sit well with some people.”

Tony Neukar: “Oh shit, did you say stream? Yeah, I remember Vid told me about… OnLive a while back. Whatever happened to that?”

Natalie: “Sony bought the technology and rebranded it as PlayStation Now. But streaming games really isn’t big in 2024, as the performance just is not there. People need good internet and good Wi-Fi to play games via streaming, and there are still a lot of gaps in the market. Furthermore, game-likers are apprehensive of the technology, as service quality is a crapshoot, and the first major streaming service for games died in an inglorious blaze.”

Tony Neukar: “So there’s not like a Netflix equivalent for game streaming?”

Natalie: “Nope, but I know for certain that Microsoft wants to be just that, except they have not been the best about selling this idea. The service has been in beta for years, and is currently only available as part of their $20 a month subscription.”

Tony Neukar: “Twenty bucks? That’s like four full-priced games a year! And you could sell those or lend them to a friend when you’re done…”

Natalie: “Ding! …Except people stopped buying physical games, for the most part. Hell, there were even rumors that Xbox was phasing out all physical games. Which is not the case… but it still could be the case, since they have three main SKUs, and only two of them even have a disc drive. I said before that Xbox as the established institution built up over the past two decades is no more and it is now Microsoft Gaming. …And I still believe that is the case, even if I keep calling them Xbox. The essence of a dedicated vision, supporting the Xbox console, has faded away to something more vague and confusing.”

Tony Neukar: “You can say that again. I’m not really registering any of this. So, Microsoft is putting games on PC, Xbox consoles, Sony and Nintendo consoles, and a streaming service? Yeah, at that point… why would you buy an Xbox when you could just get the same games on other platforms? Hell, are they even going to bother with new consoles?”

Natalie: “Those are questions that people have been asking all year. Microsoft has insisted that they will continue making consoles, and they even said they would pivot to a handheld console. Yet I simply do not see Xbox as a viable platform unless you think Xbox Game Pass is that much better than the PlayStation Plus game catalog. Or really want to play enhanced original Xbox and Xbox 360 games, as the Xbox’s backwards compatibility for retro games is pretty damn good.”

Tony Neukar: “…Whoa! I guess the 360 would be retro in 2024. Time’s wild when you think about it like that. Though, I’m not really mad or anything. I like my 360, but it’s just a machine that plays games, and I don’t get the connection people really have with them. You don’t love an old TV, VCR, or computer like that, so why should it really matter what box you play a game on? …If Vidkun were here, he’d probably start ranting about the ‘aesthetic experience’ or something if he was around. Not that he’s into that. If he could, he’d just emulate everything on his PC.”

Natalie: “Just like me!”

Tony Neukar: “Yeah! Whatever you say, god lady!”

Part 2-4: ROM Hacking and Anti-Emulation
(The Decay of a Beneficial Truce)

Natalie: “Speaking of emulation, let’s chew the duds with someone with some programming expertise! Shiaka Kurokawa, everybody!”

As the crowd of several dozen characters from Natalie’s many mischievous misadventures applauded in anticipation, they saw someone fall from the ceiling and promptly land on a chair beside Natalie. They were a blonde Japanese/Hispanic woman with blue eyes, a small dainty frame, dressed in a slightly risque Santa dress that gave the audience a generous view of her ample chest. Her name was Shiaka Kurokawa, specifically the variant from Verde’s Doohickey 2.0.

Shiaka Kurokawa: “W-Where am I? Why am I dressed like this?”

Natalie: “I dunno. Somebody probably took your body for a Christmas joyride. After all, girls like you were made for Santa dresses like that, but you’re still too timid to ever wear one in public. Though, you might want to do it around Zoe. …Shit, this makes me want to write a bonus chapter. Verde’s Doohickey Chi: A Very Merry Swapmas.”

Shiaka Kurokawa: “Shouldn’t you finish up your other novels before thinking of new ones?”

Natalie: “But if I don’t get ideas now, I might not be able to get them when I’m older!”

Shiaka Kurokawa: “You are a 30-year-old woman talking to what are extensively imaginary friends because you thought it would be a fun spin on a formulaic release. I doubt your creativity will die off. Also, not to be rude, but I would rather finish this sooner than later. This dress… doesn’t really fit me. In more ways than one.”

Natalie: “Our topic here is emulation! Because this was NOT a good year for emulators, mostly due to Nintendo. In March, they shut down the leading Switch emulator, Yuzu. The folks behind Yuzu folded immediately, not wanting to risk discovery, and that has discontinued both the Yuzu emulator for Switch and the Citra emulator for 3DS. Though, I guess I need to explain what a Switch—”

Shiaka Kurokawa: “We are all watching the show in the backrooms.”

Natalie: “Ha! Good call, me! Who most definitely planned that in advance. Yes, quite, all according to keikaku! This meant the only truly Switch emulator in active development was the far more regimented RyujiNX, but they were similarly shut down in October. Though, this time without any nasty litigation. Still, this meant that Nintendo had effectively scrubbed the Switch emulation scene prior to their unveil of the Switch 2.”

Shiaka Kurokawa: “I… find it unlikely that emulation significantly hurt Switch hardware sales. Similarly, the only reason emulation was so prominent is the same reason it always is. Because an enthusiast market wanted to do more with their games. A proactive move would be for Nintendo to pursue their own curated PC storefront where they only publish their games, addressing this service problem. Otherwise, it is no surprise there would be so much emulation happening outside of their watch. There’s a reason why Dolphin has taken off in my timeline, because it lets people make GameCube and Wii games, which are not widely available, better.”

Natalie: “That’s all true, but stepping back a bit, what worries me about all this is the idea of establishing legal precedent. The law in my America is decaying in quality at a rapid rate as corporations write the law in their favor. And the idea that decrypting something is illegal, like Nintendo tried to argue, is just an absurd notion. They do have a plenty good reason to go after people for this, because their IP is too valuable, but that still does not make it the right or best move. Frankly, it makes me want to pirate their games. …Not that I actually do anything with them.”

Shiaka Kurokawa: “It is most unfortunate that companies have chosen to be so stingy with the prospect of digital ownership. They are loading files with DRM and distributing them under proprietary formats, so that you can only use them with their software. It is something that has ruined eBooks and made them materially worse than physical books, yet many people are inclined to just accept the convenience.”

Natalie: “Going back to emulation, while Nintendo has been making major blows, the field of emulation is always evolving, and a slew of emulators have been making progress. For PS3, PS4, Xbox, Xbox 360. But what has really started taking off the past two years have been decompilations, PC ports, and recompilations. All means of taking game ROMs and using them to create enhanced versions of older games, breaking them apart through great effort and making them better than ever before. It’s such a great innovation and I love to see how many people are committing themselves to doing what Nintendon’t and preserving gaming history by making old games better.”

Shiaka Kurokawa: “It would be great if that were all the good news, though there are growing concerns. You brought up how ROMhacking.net is ending various operations and scaling back significantly. However, are there other major falls from grace that you’ve noticed?”

Natalie: “Yeah, totally. Major emulator sites have been targeted by Nintendo in particular and this has caused their archives to be wiped or made private and caused one of them to stop updating their robust catalog.”

Shiaka Kurokawa: “W-Which ones?”

Natalie: “The first one rhymes with Jim’s Eclair and I’m not telling you the other one, you narc!” But if you want to chat about old games, you can finally find its new home. And it even has Vita games now! Vita games!“

Shiaka Kurokawa: “Hmm… it sounds like there was an unspoken truce between emulator developers and ROM sites, but that truce is coming to an end as Nintendo grows more protective.”

Natalie: “Oh yeah. That is absolutely it. They have Hollywood movies, they have theme parks, they are going to expand big time! And if someone wants to get into retro gaming through more physical means, then they will be met with a hostile market where game shops are being raided for rare relics and games are being sold for irrational prices. Things were bad during COVID-19, but they have not gotten much better.”

Shiaka Kurokawa: “How are you dealing with this though? You are a big lover of gaming history, are you not?”

Natalie: “Oh, totes, girl! I gathered a bunch of ROMS and am going to build a home server to back everything up. Of course, I need to wait for the bloody case to arrive, but once it does, then bam, I’m going to have a NAS to store everything. Because I am terrified of hard drive failure!”

Shiaka Kurokawa: “I cannot blame you. My dad told me to always perform backups, as his workplace suffered a devastating data loss in the 90s after a server wiped multiple drives.”

Natalie: “Wrapping on topic, I really wish that companies like Nintendo did a better job of maintaining and monitoring their legacy and not just monetizing it. Sadly, in my current corporate dystopia, that’s the world they are trying to forge, and stopping them would take a lot of napalm…”

Part 2-5: The Great Pokémon Tera Leak
(Naturally Co-Hosted by Terra Flare)

Natalie: “Whoo! Time for the Pokémon segment! But I’m going to need a partner, and I have just the thing in mind! Go, Terra Flare, I choose you!”

Natalie then threw a Quick Ball at the stage, where it revealed a Kirlia wearing a Eviolite amulet around their neck. A look of abject horror was painted on their face as they entered the broader world, looking at the audience, at their body, and at their distinct lack of fingers or thumbs. They, clearly, were not meant to be in a body like this. Not used to this tiny frame with its oddly distributed weight. They struggled to stand, let alone walk, and wound up crawling toward Natalie. Staring up at her with a look of dread.

Kirlia: “Kirl? Li… lia! Kirlia!“

Natalie: “You’re a psychic type, ya silly! Try activating your ESP to talk into the mic.”

With vigor, Natalie threw a microphone at the Kirlia, who narrowly caught it with their telekinesis. They looked at the floating mic with curiosity before trying to do as Natalie suggested. Speaking not with their mouth, but their mind… into the mic.

Kirlia: “[H-Hello? H-Hey! I can talk! I can talk with my mind! Wait, why am I getting happy about this! You turned me into a damn Pokémon!]”

Natalie: “Yeah, and if you wanna turn back, Terra, you’ll talk with me about the big Tera Leak!”

Terra Flare: “[…Tell me, God, are you punishing me? Is this the price I’m paying for my past mistakes?]”

Natalie: “Oi! No anachronisms, you 2015 girl! Sit, or else I’m going to need to bust out the soothe bell.”

Terra Flare: “[Fine…]”

Natalie: “In case you forgot, during the busiest week of the year for me, some incredible loon leaked a deluge of information on various Pokémon games, including the complete source code for DS titles. This event, dubbed the Tera Leak by fans, was bloody insane. I only scratched the surface in my own reporting, and I was unable to keep track of everything. But the sheer volume of information, the prototypes, the incomplete builds, the rejected designs was cuh-razy! It was an absolute feast for a PokéFan such as myself. And it all worked because of a fairly basic security issue. Dang phishers.”

Terra Flare: “[I remember hearing, in my computer class, that the biggest security risk is the human user.]”

Natalie: “That is very much true, and there are genuine questions to ask about how much security is sufficient, how people can stay safe while connected to a larger internet. An extreme solution is to have all emails access a separate network and maintain an intranet for all confidential information. But that’s a clunky and shitty way to get around things. Anyway… where do I even begin with the contents of the Tera Leak?”

Terra Flare: “[Uh… you seem to have a list here. Let me try to… I cannot pick anything up with these hands. Can I lift two things up with telekinesis and… oh, I can! Let’s see… why is the first item some unreleased lore where humans mated with Pokémon? Isn’t that just… how fairy tales work? And why is Typhlosion in bold? Isn’t having sex with a Rapidash more taboo?”]

Natalie: “The biggest and most interesting details here all pertained to development details, cut content, scrapped designs, design and other documentation. Mythology that was written but not ever meant to be publicly released, let alone canon. Mechanics that never left the testing phase. The reality that nearly every Pokémon game represents a compromise with time and ambition, thus explaining why X and Y lacked much post-game content.”

Terra Flare: “[And why ORAS lacked the Battle Frontier.]”

Natalie: “Oh, that was never planned. But they were planning something regarding Hoopla. It’s why there are all those magical golden ring portals all over the place.”

Terra Flare: “[Wait, what? Why would they not want to remake Emerald when it is—]”

Natalie: “When it is the first Pokémon game Maxxie gave to you, because Gen IV was too slow? Look, I agree with you, they should have remade things based on Emerald, but the past is the past and it’s deader than a double decade old dog.”

Terra Flare: “[…Alright. Next, there is a list of projects that may or may not be in production. A new anime movie with a Mew that transforms into a chubby Pikachu. Discussions regarding the Pokémon anime series… wait, they got rid of Ash? About time. And a few minor details on generation 10, codename Gaia. A game where you ride on Pokémon and battle. Oh, so that’s where the ride Pokémon idea went. And… Pokémon Legends: Z-A? What the hell is that title?”

Natalie: “No clue! But it’s gonna be a Pokémon game, that much is for sure! Now, I would expect there to be a bunch of details leaked from this, and there were. But the hacker responsible for this chose to restrict the information distributed for upcoming titles. Meaning we still have not seen a speck of Gaia of Z-A. And this is coming ten months after Z-A was announced.”

Terra Flare: “[What, really? Aren’t Pokémon games usually released ten months after being announced?]”

Natalie: “Yep! Due to the slow drip feed of Pokémon content, with most news being centered on the new TCG app they just launched in October, it’s easy to view this as a reaction to the lack of gameplay footage and announcements. When really, this is just somebody getting lucky, nabbing a terabyte of content, and unleashing some of it onto the internet. Even now, we do not have close to all of it, and it will take a long time before people are willing to reference it in fan works beyond quick fanart.”

Terra Flare: “[This all sounds cool, but I don’t understand why Game Freak and Nintendo couldn’t just release this information to the public, let them know what happened during the development of their games. I mean, Iwata has always been very open to development details on games, but why would they—]”

Natalie: “Because Nintendo is a bigger company now and wants to hide away as many details from the public as possible. They have chosen the path of secrecy and have even started hiding who is developing their games until they come out. It’s genuinely wild and kind of insulting. Because people truly do love this stuff, and I would love for there to be a world where they could freely share information like this. Sadly, that just is not how it works, and they are discouraged from doing that for opaque reasons that I don’t pretend to truly understand.”

Terra Flare: “[I could try asking my mom about this. She might—]”

Natalie: “Instead, I’m just glad that we got what we did. Even though I know this, combined with the Nintendo Giga Leak, this means Nintendo’s IT team has to have made drastic changes to how they keep their information secure. Because there was literally nothing stopping the hacker from just releasing the source code for Scarlet and Violet and PLZA. It’s almost like divine retribution for what they did to the emulation scene. …Except this doesn’t even come close to repairing the damage.”

Terra Flare: “[…So, are you going to turn me back into a human now, or am I stuck like this until I return home?]”

With a shrug, Natalie snapped her fingers, and ‘ka-girl’d’ Terra back into a human being… Except she wasn’t quite herself. She was far older than the 12-year-old girl she was when she was pulled into this mess, and her features became identical to those of her older sister, Maxxie. Terra looked at this body with confusion and familiarity, as she had swapped bodies with Maxxie many times before. She stammered, confused by what just happened and remembering how to speak with a human mouth… before she was glomped by someone from off-stage. A woman who looked identical to her.

Maxxie: “Hell yeah! Twinsies! C’mon, Terra! We’ve got trouble to get into!”

Terra Flare: “W-What? Natalie, what did you—”

Before Terra could finish that thought, Maxxie pulled out a remote control that caused the floor from under her and Terra to give way, sending them on a slide to… only Natalie knows where.

Part 2-6: Physical vs. Digital
(Fight Consumption With Consumption)

Natalie: “Next up, we have my OG self-insert with the girl herself, Jade Noveus! Greet the audience, sweetums!”

Jade: “H-Hello. Uh… why did you call me up here?”

Natalie: “Because you’re a dork with a big game collection!”

Jade: “Uh, Maxxie has a far bigger collection than me. And I just stick with physical games because it’s easier to exchange games with friends that way. Though, if Steam family sharing becomes a gold standard on consoles, then I guess that might not strictly be true.”

Natalie: “Yes, yes, no need to tell me what I already know. But that is one of the hotter arguments going around nowadays is who’s got it really goin’ on? Physical games or digital games?”

Jade: “Well, physical games don’t need to worry about pesky DRM or anything like—”

Natalie: “WRONG!”

Jade: “Huh?”

Natalie: “Physical games nowadays can require DRM to play, can require downloads to play, and they don’t even really save hard drive space anymore. You know how you had to install GTA V to play it and how that was deemed balderdash? That’s most PS5 games. And storage hasn’t gotten so large that it does not really matter. The PS4 launched with 500 GB, while the PS5 launched with 1 TB, but the games have only gotten bigger. And now everything uses SSDs instead of HDDs, so replacing hard drives is way more expensive.”

Jade: “…And I take it that day one patches are still a thing?”

Natalie: “Nah, we’re on day zero patches nowadays!”

Jade: “And DLC is even more common, I take it?”

Natalie: “Season passes are the norm, yeah.”

Jade: “So… what is the argument in favor of physical games nowadays?”

Natalie: “They are assets that you can resell, are visual items that you can see on a shelf, kinda like a figurine, and they feel more like ownership, even if they are just a ‘license.’ This is all something that has bothered me for a long while, as when the subject of games preservation comes up, there are always people who say that physicality is the only way to go. Whenever a store shutdown happens, whenever a delisting happens, somebody pops in to wave the flag for the ‘physical games master race,’ like that contributes something to a conversation.”

Jade: “Yeah, I’ve seen that before, and it’s strange, as there is nothing to celebrate when a game is just removed from sale and cannot be bought. It makes piracy and panic buying the only options.”

Natalie: “Exactly! Now, don’t get me wrong, there are serious problems with any breed of digital ownership. If you buy digital games for a console, you are buying games in a controlled ecosystem that will be shut down. People in your timeline have avoided this so far, but here, the Xbox 360 storefront is dead— except for relisted backwards compatible titles. The Wii, Wii U, and 3DS storefronts are dead. The PS3 and Vita storefronts are just barely alive. And unless you downloaded your games in the past, you’re screwed. The servers are just down.”

Jade: “…Just like that? But what about all the—”

Natalie: “Gone! Put on a pirate hat and sail for game-2u or whatever and try to find the files! If you saved it on the console, you’re good. If not, you’re screwed! And if something happens, you’ll need to hack and mod the system, because game consoles are just computers. And computers just die!”

Jade: “…I don’t think I really thought of that. I mean, Most NESes still work just fine and they’re almost 30 years old, so I figured that game console makers would value their storefronts and histories and… just keep things going.”

Natalie: “Oh, you ignorant little child. Nothing lasts forever, everything is temporary, and everything in console gaming is as fickle and finite as any other piece of tech. Hardware will fail, discs will rot, and cartridges will suffer from dead batteries or just stop working. The physical instruments of gaming will eventually break, and… that’s part of the reason why I am not a fan of them. Why I decided that I’m going digital back in 2013.”

Jade: “I guess that makes sense, but I’d imagine that most people just go and buy digital games these days, as it’s faster, easier, and maybe cheaper than getting a physical game in most cases.”

Natalie: “Correct you are! Per some data revealed by Zewzoo and GameIndustry.biz, the PC gaming market’s revenue is 99% digital and 1% physical, because of Steam. While the global console market is up to 84% digital and 16% physical. And this is what Sony, Microsoft, and game publishers want. For the math to justify the end of physical games. This can be seen with the recently released all digital Xbox Series X and the digital-only $700 PS5 Pro, which requires a peripheral to play physical games.”

Jade: “…Why am I getting Xbox One announcement flashbacks?”

Natalie: “Because that was a mask off moment for the games industry!”

Jade: “I mean, yeah, t makes sense that game publishers would want to ditch physical releases. They make far more money on digital sales, they need to maintain relationships with WalMart and GameStop and the like. Retailer listings need to be done by someone, and… if everything is digital, there are a lot of small costs and services that can be eliminated. I will always remember that anatomy of the $60 chart where only $27 went to the publisher.”

Natalie: “Oh, and here’s another thing. Sony and Microsoft have bucked the trend found in every defunct storefront. The PS5 plays basically every PS4 game, no issue. Meaning that people buying digital are building up a digital library that will follow with them. And those who started going digital with the PS4 still have access to every game they bought for PS4 on PS5. This, in turn, encourages them to stay digital, to not buy physical, and if they see that the PS6 will lack a disc drive all together, then it won’t be a problem for them. It will be a problem for the people who insist on buying discs though.”

Jade: “Couldn’t they just make an optional disc drive that only works with PS4 and PS5 games on a PS6?”

Natalie: “I mean… maybe? …Drats, I think I lost the point I was building up. That’s what happens when you’re talking to one of your idealized selves.”

Jade: “…I don’t quite know what you mean by that, but it makes me… uncomfortable.”

Natalie: “As it should, sister-daughter.”

Natalie: “The bottom line is that game ownership is in an odd spot at the moment. Everything is pivoting almost entirely to digital, and that is something that warrants considerable concern. I like digital gaming, because I hate physical clutter. But even with these rolling forward digital ‘forever’ libraries, I still worry about what this will mean for the industry, as this is an elimination of a retail presence and a dearly valuable option. Also, it would, in my mind, definitively make the PC the best place to build a game library, as there, you simply have more control.”

Jade: “You’re talking about things like cracks, DRM-free downloads, and mods, right?”

Natalie: “You know it, love! PC is an open ecosystem, and games will continue to thrive in it even as the console sector switches over to a digital domain.”

Jade: “…Hold up, do you think Nintendo’s going to ditch physical media?”

Natalie: “Oh, right. I was talking about the Peesky Seesky. Abso-goldarn-lutely not. Nintendo is not gonna give up physical media for a long while. While digital media is growing in popularity in Japan, especially with things like manga apps, there is a very strong association with physical goods in Japan. I don’t have the numbers to back that up, but people view the Famitsu sales figures in high esteem for a reason. “

Jade: “…But if Nintendo is sticking with physical games, then wouldn’t all physical game stores just become Nintendo stores?”

Natalie: “…Shit, that’s a very good point. …But I’d imagine that most game stores nowadays mostly sell Nintendo games anyway. So how much market share would they really be giving up? I don’t know, because I don’t have that data, and I don’t have a good way to access it! Hell, I have not even been in a games store in a decade. I was gonna visit the one at the mall I visited with Cassie, but they closed up shop a while back. …Okay, that’s it for this segment. Get off the stage, please! I need to change locations!”

Jade: “Huh? But aren’t you going to do something with Zoe or—”

Natalie: “Yeah, he’ll help me with my site stats, because he’s a neeeerd like that!”

Part 2-7: Let’s Go Gambling!
(An Exploitative Excursion with ZXA Yunggurl)

At the Casino De La Hell, sinners of every variety were gathered about, spending what meager pittance they earned from toiling away for weeks, if not months. All harbored a vain hope of escaping from this place and ascending to one of the better circles, if only they could gamble their way to success. There were all manner of freaks in attendance, but one stood out amongst the others. A young man in a dark hoodie. His name was… ZXA Yungbboi. …Natalie, what the hell kind of name is that supposed to—

Natalie: “Oi! Be a good narrator, you stinky robot! Now tell me where in this casino can I find ZXA—”

ZXA Yungboi: “The fuck do you want with me, you tranny-fag-ass bitch? Can’t you see I’m busy gaming?”

The joke is that gaming is an archaic term for gambling. For those not in the know.

Natalie: “I know you’re being sarcastic with that, but you do realize that you have a serious addiction that was taught to you by CS:GO and gacha games, right?”

ZXA Yungboi: “…Yeah, I guess I do. I hate this shit so much, I can see through it—”

Natalie: “But that doesn’t mean you don’t love the rush of possibly winning? Don’t worry, ZXA! I know you are in pain, and even after you boiled my broth with your reaction to the election. I mean, you, an alpha male? Puh-lease.”

ZXA Yungboi: “Are you just here to insult me or—”

Natalie: “I am here to wake you up to the truth! Now embrace it!”

Apropos of nothing, Natalie pulled out a handgun and shot ZXA Yungboi in the face.

…

But rather than kill ZXA then and there, the gun instead produced a cloud of pink smoke that dissipated a few seconds later, revealing a different person standing where ZXA once was. A young woman in a pink hoodie with a cascading mane of blonde hair. She looked around, confused, as did some of the casino patrons, yet as this calm washed over her, she began to speak.

Pink Hoodie Girl: “Uh… what, what did you do to—”

Natalie: “And now come the mental changes!”

Pink Hoodie Girl: “Mental changes? Why did you turn me into a fucking girl, you—”

Before she could finish speaking, the pink hoodie girl fell to the ground and began spasming. It looked to any onlooker as if she was having a seizure, but this was a casino. They saw something like this thrice an hour. It wasn’t a bad seizure either, as 30 seconds later, she literally hopped off of the ground and greeted Natalie with a beaming smile.

Pink Hoodie Girl: “Thanksies Nat-chan! Now I see the truth!”

Natalie: “No problem ZXA Yung… gurl? Yeah, I guess that’s your name now. ZXA Yunggurl!”

ZXA Yunggurl: “Hummu… maybe we can make ZXA my initials. I always liked the name Zoey!”

Natalie: “Nah, that name’s already taken. Twice. We’ll hit up Aussie Things to pick some names later. For now, let’s head to the ~~gambler’s~~ Gamer’s lounge, because we need to discuss the absolute state of gaming.”

ZXA Yunggurl: “Tehe~! Absol-ute!”

One transition later…

ZXA Yunggurl: “So, what are we gonna gabby gab abouts?”

Natalie: “The fact that the games industry is in a pretty rough spot at the moment. And for a rather unique reason. Because of the rise of the super games. Games that are keeping players coming back every single day, promising them progress in exchange for engagement and taking away time they could spend playing other games.”

ZXA Yunggurl: “You mean live services? My old self never liked ’em, but he played ’em all the time. More than real games~! And now I can see just how danger-some they were! Why keep playing just one game over and over again and giving them money, when you could get oodles and kaboodles with new experiences?”

Natalie: “Because of social elements, engagement, psychological skullduggery, and a sense of commitment to specific titles. Namely, games like Fortnite, Call of Duty, League of Legends, Roblox and Grand Theft Auto V. All titles that routinely top the sales and revenues constantly, and their presence is… just overwhelming. Not necessarily due to sheer income, but due to the time people are investing into them. I practically lost my mind when I saw Mat Piscatella of Circana post this graph for the US games market. Which showed the immense gap between the number one and number two game at the moment, I didn’t want to believe it. But… I ultimately do.

Natalie: “This entire year, there have been articles about how people keep on playing ‘older games.’ But not in the sense that they are playing games from a few years back, clearing out their backlogs. Instead, they are playing games that were initially released a few years ago, yet see constant updates. Such as… the games I just named. With so few people playing newer games, that is affecting the buzz about them, and with it, their ability to make money. “

ZXA Yunggurl: “Yeah, I knoooow! So many people keep on playing the same crusty games and keep wondering why they don’t feel like they used to. Most of the best-selling games this year were in the same old franchises.”

Natalie: “Well, do you count College Football to just be a different version of Madden?”

ZXA Yunggurl: “Pretty much, tehe~! That’s what my head tells me. But after you used that gas on me, things have been soooo bubbly and fuzzy in my brainspace.”

Natalie: “An expected, if temporary, side effect. …But with this rise in these prevailing mega games and a few huge hits like Palworld, Helldivers II, and Black Myth: Wukong, the games industry has been capitalism-ing itself into this disproportionate shape. This means that a lot of games released this year failed to recoup their costs, lost a bunch of money, and the development teams will be cut as ‘punishment’ for not making a hit.”

ZXA Yunggurl: “Yeah! And these matters are all compounded by the economic shifts that have made investors sheepish of the games industry as a whole. Which is preventing smaller studios from obtaining vital external funding, forcing them to lay off staff and cancel projects in order to maintain whatever they can! The industry, overall, is growing monetarily, yet without an influx of investor capital, and rampant layoffs, the bottom of the industry is falling out. And it is easy to blame these forever games.”

Natalie: “Actually, it might be more that games are not good successes like they used to be. They make the news with how well they are doing, are established standbys, are Nintendo, or need to fight for scraps. However, I want to talk about something I keep observing in these forever games. The fact they are designed to rot your damn brain and make you into a goldarn gambler!”

ZXA Yunggurl: “Wuh-oh, where are you going with this?”

Natalie: “I’m talking about how forever games lock players into engagement traps, function like jobs, and necessitate that users gamble away their earnings to perform tasks more effectively. So many of these games are using progression systems, randomization, and so forth to push players into spending more and more time in them. The acceptance of gacha games has become mainstream with their expansion to consoles and expansion of the genre. They evolved into ‘real-ass games’ and have duped people into thinking it is worth ‘investing’ into them.”

ZXA Yunggurl: “Yeah, and even if we look beyond that, games like Monopoly Go were still humongous, because you could gamble for an advantage. And Pokémon TCG Pocket made $200 million in its first month while clearly not costing anywhere close to that to make.”

Natalie: “I would be shocked if that game cost more than $15 million to make its 1.0 version, due to its reliance on existing art assets and bare bones UX. And it made that money because people love gambling by opening up trading cards. They love the thrill of completion, of collecting, and getting lucky. Gambling, just in general, is a major problem, especially in the US, where sports betting is now a booming industry. It has infected games, and is such a profitable part of the industry that I do not see it going away. Especially given the current trend of big AAA Asian games made outside of Japan.”

ZXA Yunggurl: “You mean all of those cool looking games like Ananata and Infinity Nikki and Dungeon & Fighter: ARAD? I knoooow! It’s deeply frustrating when you see a game that looks promising, only to see that it is also intended to release on mobile, effectively confirming its monetization approach. And sadly, it is hard to criticize any company for doing this. This represents the culture around gaming in much of East Asia, for better or for worse, and it just makes sense. Half of all revenue from gaming comes from the mobile market, and that dramatically increases the possible profit a project could see.”

Natalie: “Eyup, and the recurring update model of live services both keep the money coming in at a rate you can manipulate and curbs a great deal of risk. Shit, I played 40 hours of Zenless Zone Zero this past year, and really enjoyed it. But if it was a regular-ass console RPG, it would not have the cultural impact it currently has, and it would not have made over $172 million USD. The math of the market makes sense, and I can see why players would also stick with high-profile games. Because they are what their friends are playing, it gives them a community, it gives them something to play together. Compared to that, most single-player games just seem lonely. And if there is one thing the modern digital landscape wants to do, it’s to engender a dislike of loneliness into people. While also making them more lonely!”

ZXA Yunggurl: “Yeah, now that’s an idea! But… how do we fix this?”

Natalie: “The big forever games need to decline. The industry overall will experience a shift with the release of Grand Theft Auto VI next year. PS5s will fly off the shelves around the world. As it does incredibly well, and a new US government makes investments and acquisitions more attractive, then there will be a variety of changes. What will those be? I do not know. Nobody does. But that combined with the Switch 2 could help give this industry a nice kick in the rear, and the hype may draw people away to something new. At least, I hope so.”

ZXA Yunggurl: “I agree. There are too many unknowns to make a definite prediction. 2025 could represent the start of a shift in the industry, but it will not solve the prevailing issues facing it, as many of them are features of the economic systems of capitalism. Workers are being shunned in favor of cost-efficient AI programs, teams are being dissolved, and even console-focused live services are dropping as flops at a rapid pace. With Ubisoft’s xDefiant, Foamstars, and Concord all being notorious flops.”

Natalie: “I really wish that the solution would be to just make good AA and indie games and have those rise to the top. Sadly, the money to fund them is not there, and for every hit indie game, there are 50/100/200 you’ll never hear of. If not more. Like so many things, this is a problem that will probably only get worse before it maybe, possibly, gets better.”

ZXA Yunggurl: “…So shall we decide on my name now? Also, you were correct when you stated that I would experience a mental shift of some manner. It seems that the ‘bimbo brain effect’ was a temporary fluctuation.”

Natalie: “Your new name is… Aimee Xylophia Zümphie. And you talk that way because bimbos who talk like they have PhDs and occasionally 5-year-olds are way better than ones who just talk like 5-year-olds.”

Aimee Xylophia Zümphie: “Oooooh! I gotcha, sweetie! Well, thank you for suppressing my old identity behind something with more resilience toward depression and with access to greater analytical skills! I shall not let this investment go to waste~!”

Natalie: “Hope you enjoy it, because there’s no guarantee that you’ll still be ‘you’ come next year.”

Aimee Xylophia Zümphie: “…Sorry, could you please repeat that—”

Before Aimee could finish her question, Natalie bolted up from her chair and ran into a painting, where she transcended beyond the depths of Hell… and arrived in a familiar castle. Well, familiar to her and presumably you. I don’t read her writings.

Part 3: A Mostly Uneventful Year for Natalie
(Except for Her Banger Vay-Kay With Cassie)

Natalie: “2023 was a huge year for me! I was recovering from an intensive surgery, I got professional credentials, and I bought a home! By comparison, 2024 was pretty… lacking. My life had no significant changes, as I’m— knock on wood— kind of settled into my adult life. I have a good job, I have a condo, I have a mortgage, and I have a good sum of money and savings in my possession. I might not have be a CPA, but I have all the stuff I need to file tax returns. And like I said last year, I’m not just trans, but I’ve transitioned and only need to take my estradiol going forward. I’ve achieved stability, and while there is uncertainty with factors beyond my control, I have what I want, and am happy with my life.”

Cassandra: “I’m kon-fused why you’re here…”

Natalie: “Because I didn’t want to bother Cassie with writing this segment alongside me! And the closest thing to Cassie is Cassandra, The Cuddly Demon Empress!”

Cassandra: “Hummu… I don’t think I had a Natalie in my old human life, but I’m not the best when it comes to remembering before starting Kyuubi life. All that matters is that I have my friends. While Natalie might not smell like anything, she feels like a friend and likes my floof.”

Natalie: “I love your floof. It’s like a thick heated blanket. Just the type of thing to snuggle with during December. Though, I wish that I was still with my Cassie. When I met her in August, it was the first time I saw a friend in person in a decade, and I had such a wonderful time with her. Visiting the sights of Chicago. Lounging around with her on my bed as we watched anime and movies. Eating beside her as she konsumed a bunch of food. Just seeing her quirks in person, confirming that she was indeed a real creature who I could hug and whose hand I could hold.”

Cassandra: “D’aw, sounds like you two were just the best of friends.”

Natalie: “We really were. There were so many little things that I loved doing with her. Going out and buying clothes after she didn’t pack enough summer clothes and filled her wardrobe with black. Visiting a train museum on diesel day and getting to go on two train rides. Visiting the Art Institute, Museum of Science and Industry, and Lincoln Park Zoo. All of which were great opportunities to look at things and point at them, while slightly suffering from all the walking. We walked a good four miles every day we left the house, and were pooped after most of them. We ate very well, despite not getting much takeout. Shopping with Cassie in person was just a treat. I just loved seeing how she would peruse and look over things, where her fixations would lie, and what sorts of things she would want from the local Aldi. Oh, and I even got to pluck her eyebrows, making her all pretty, and see her in her Elysia cosplay!”

Cassandra: “Oi, you’re getting me all jelly with all of this! I wish I could go to Chichago with a friend and go on casual real-life anime adventures like that!”

Natalie: “I would not really call them anime adventures, but there were a few moments that sorta felt like one, if only because Cassie took a lot of quirks from anime characters. Which I say out of affection, as she is such a unique and adorable girl. It makes me wish that I had the money and space needed to support friends like her, as I dearly care for her, and worry about her regularly. Alas, vacations are expensive, and I’m not going to have as much disposable income next year.”

Cassandra: “Why not? Isn’t Natalie going to make more money at her work?”

Natalie: “I definitely am, especially with where the crypto market is at, but all my expenses are going up too. I’ve got to pay $3,100 in special assessments, my darn mortgage is asking for more escrow cash, even though my taxes are projected to be flat for the third year in the row. It’s some dumb bullcrap that’s resulting in my household expenses going up nearly $500 a month.”

Cassandra: “That’s cuh-razy! How could they just charge you so much more?”

Natalie: “They are re-doing the balconies at my condo. I think mine is fine, but whatever. It needs to get done. But for the mortgage… I don’t know! I think they’re either paying my property taxes in advance or something, because Cook county bills in arrears, so I’ll pay the 2024 taxes in 2025. And I should have paid the 2023 property taxes when I bought the fookin place, so what taxes did I actually pay in 2024? I don’t know!”

Cassandra: “Couldn’t you just give ’em a call?”

Natalie: “During the Christmas season? Don’t be silly, you floofball!”

Cassandra: “Are you shure you’re not forgetting something

Natalie: “…Well, I do have a bonus coming in May, likely $6,000-ish after tax, and I should be getting a generous $4,000-ish refund when I file my 2024 taxes— in August because my boss is weird like that. Because I get homeowner and mortgage payer perks.”

In response, Cassandra stared at Natalie with enough intensity and bemusement to make a wall blush in embarrassment.

Cassandra: “Natalie, how much money do you have?”

Natalie: “Uh… as of Christmas day? Roughly $149,000. About $57,000 in cash, stocks, and bonds and $92,000 in retirement accounts. I also have about $1,900 in rare metals, a house worth just over $300,000, a mortgage of over $210,000, and about $1,300 in a tax refund I’m waiting on. So almost $245,000 in terms of net assets.”

Cassandra: “…Natalie is a quarter-millionaire?”

Natalie: “Eh… kinda? I guess?”

Cassandra: “Then why is she worried about money?”

Natalie: “Because money is security, money is life, and money helps me achieve the things I want to do. I have money, but my debt is bigger than my liquid cashies, and I need to keep making money so my money pile will grow. However, I do not just hoard it without spending it on things I like. I mean, I spent $1,500 on charity, $1,000 on games, about $1,500 in patronage, and too much money on my friends.”

Cassandra: “Then how does Natalie have so much in savings?”

Natalie: “It’s called living at home for 29 years, never accumulating debt, coming from a firmly middle class household, opening a retirement account at 18, working while attending college. And, of course, being an accountant! I don’t want to gloat, but that is how I managed what I managed. I had decent basics, but I also got really lucky. And I just hope I stay lucky for the rest of my days, as this is not an infallible level of wealth.”

Cassandra: “…If Natalie has money, does that mean that she can focus on writing more cute and fun TSF stories for the people?”

Natalie: “Yes. But first, the novels come first!”

Cassandra: “Snug.”

Natalie: “Snug!”

Part 4-1: Natalie Barely Played Games This Year…
(So Let’s Punisher Her!)

Natalie: “There is a building narrative across all of my year-end Rundowns, telling the story of someone who gradually just stopped playing video games because she got too dang busy with other stuff. Namely writing.”

Vidkun Gaimz: “Yeah, and we need to fix that one of these days.”

Natalie: “Oh snap, Vidkun Gaimz, from Verde’s Doohickey 2.0?”

Vidkun Gaimz: “Yeah, because you consider me to be the biggest ‘gamer’ amongst all your characters.”

Natalie: “Your name is just a mutated version of Video Games.”

Vidkun Gaimz: “And you are the person who named me after GamerGate, and by extension Nazi, icon Vivian James.”

Natalie: “Indubitably!”

Vidkun Gaimz: “And why did you do that? I know Verde said this was just a fluke, but Verde is just your puppet, isn’t she?”

Natalie: “She’s a part of me, you’re a part of me, and I thought Vivian James was a cute character design. I assumed that she was safe to use because artists like Ian Samson and Genzoman were drawing her. I was a dumb bastard who had yet to accept her transness and didn’t get what GamerGate was about. Hell, my first real exposure to this crap came from MentalCrash. And why would the author of Mirror’s Cycle and diaper fetish art ever lead me down the wrong path? (Also, I remember her linking to an Internet Aristocrat video.)”

Vidkun Gaimz: “…You know what? Screw it, I don’t really care. I am who I am, I have free will, and that’s all that matters.”

One second after saying this, Vidkun lunged forward and punched Natalie in the face, knocking her out of her chair.

Natalie: “FUCK! You’re a scrawny bastard, but you know how to throw a good wallop.”

Vidkun Gaimz: “Sorry about that. I just needed to assert my free will.”

Natalie: “Nah man, I get it. I’d do the same.”

Vidkun Gaimz: “That just makes me want to kick you in the crotch.”

Natalie: “Didn’t you hear me in the last section? I don’t have a dick anymore.”

Vidkun Gaimz: “Dick or no dick, it still hurts.”

Natalie: “Look, just let me go through my list of games played and reviewed and chide me for my bad taste.”

Vidkun Gaimz: “Be the snarky bastard in the background? Can do!”

Natalie: “For me, 2024 was an anemic year for gaming. Because I only covered measly seven games. Palworld, re:Dreamer Version 0.18.1, Press-Switch Version 0.6b, Student Transfer Version 8.0, Zenless Zone Zero, Murder Mystery Legacy Route for Student Transfer, and Class of ‘09: The Flip Side. Hell, that’s arguably only six games!”

Vidkun Gaimz: “Yeah, but you PLAYED more games than that, didn’t you?”

Natalie: “…Yeah, I did. I briefly played Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp Complete and its original live version. And I did not care for it at all. I was a rather avid player of PokéRogue for much of the year. I have become a daily player of Pokémon TCG Pocket. And the past few weeks, I have taken to playing games like Balatro, Hades, and Slay the Spire, in an effort to better understand the roguelike genre. Also, a good amount of demos, some of which I made content for.”

Vidkun Gaimz: “Okay, and why do you think your behaviors changed so much in this past year?”

Natalie: “…What are you, my therapist?”

Vidkun Gaimz: “No, I’m The Rapist. I am trying to ask you why you, a self-proclaimed lover of video games, haven’t been playing as many of them as you used to.”

Natalie: “Because I choose to invest my time into novels instead and have consistently been putting more effort into creating them than reviewing games? Because I feel a creative fulfillment by creating my novels, my wholly original work than I do in engaging with the creation of another person? Because TSF Showcase has become such a time commitment that I was starved for gaming time? Because I have literally hundreds of options for games I could play, and with that many options, it is easy to experience decision paralysis. Because I feel that I need to play the right games with my limited amount of time, rather than being willing to try whatever and see how it goes. A sense that my opinions would not be unique or interesting to warrant a review of something more mainstream. Especially when video-based video game reviews are superior to written reviews. There are a lot of bloody reasons.”

Vidkun Gaimz: “Then why did you review the games you chose to review this year?”

Natalie: “Easy! Palworld was a sensation at launch, and seemed like a great game for me to play with Cassie. re:Dreamer, Press-Switch, and Student Transfer are games that basically nobody else reviews, and combine into creating one cluster of a dream game for me. Zenless Zone Zero was another big culturally significant release, and it seemed like a possible dream game for me. But it was burdened by questionable design decisions and a disproportionate level of effort and polish. While Class of 09: The Flip Side was the final entry in a series I had covered for years, and I could finish it in a day.”

Vidkun Gaimz: “And what about the other games?”

Natalie: “Pocket Camp was an experiment in something I want to see more of, an offline gacha game, and I wanted to see it for myself. Sadly, it was only as good as Pocket Camp, which I thought was pretty lame. Pokémon TCG Pocket captures my stupid bunny-lust of pretty pictures and I am curious to see how the game evolves, but I also promise to stop playing it shortly after trading is introduced. PokéRogue… will get its own section, coming up next. And the roguelikes are because I got annoyed at people referencing these games like I should know what they’re all about.”

Vidkun Gaimz: “Hmm… Yeah, you’re pretty reasonable. You are given obstacles, trying to manage things to the best of your abilities, and making sacrifices. Is that right?”

Natalie: “That’s what I’m trying to do at least… But I do want to play more goldarn video games. Especially with my December 2025 novel— it’s going to be body swap nerdcore Y2K erotica— on the horizon.”

Vidkun Gaimz: “Then I think you need to let something fade. You already let Rambles become a rare segment—”

Natalie: “Because my Rundowns basically became mini Rambles!”

Vidkun Gaimz: “So you are going to need to sacrifice something else. And your biggest, most prolific non-novel content would be your TSF Showcases, wouldn’t it?”

Natalie: “…I will address that concept in a bit, but first, I need to recap each review! Lemme do this while you STFU!”

Natalie: “Palworld, positioned as an indie smash hit, is an experience that I found to depreciate over time. The early hours of the game are some extreme fun, where new creatures are routine encounters, there is a good balance between hard and easy catches, and the upgrades the player receives all feel significant. However, the game lacks a campaign structure and the ‘endgame’ at least at launch, quickly becomes a grindfest. One where the player needs to get the best creatures, the best weapons, and manipulate RNG to clear all content. Where catching Pals becomes a chore as they resist all but the mightiest of orbs. And exploration becomes tiresome with big, empty, areas that were not designed to be walked through. I still like it though, and not just because it’s a game I can play with Cassie. I hope to revisit the game sometime SOON™. Especially with the new update.”

Natalie: “re:Dreamer is still a beautiful and stupendous experience that excels and impresses in nearly every facet. As a piece of TSF fiction. As a character study, featuring what is truly one of the most complex and nuanced characters I have ever seen. As an audiovisual experience, featuring so many tiny or big visual flourishes, brilliant sound effects, and a bizarre yet impeccable score of unlicensed tracks. Unfortunately, it will likely never be completed, as CaptainCaption was diagnosed with a death sentence and is a magnet for misfortune. Still, I will love every last bit of the game before development just stops one day.”

Natalie: “Press-Switch continues to be a wildly impressive TSF and body swap focused visual novel, and its latest addition has only reaffirmed my opinions. Chiefly with its complex yet brilliant body swap manipulation mini-game, allowing the player to curate their own oddball pairings. The many tangents stemming from this base continues to amaze me with the variety and veracity of the directions they went in, and v0.6b was, all in all, an update well worth waiting for.”

Natalie: “Student Transfer Version 8.0 was a mixed bag for me, and the latest release left me very concerned about the direction and potential future for the game. What I found to be obvious issues were not addressed, one of the extended routes was just trash, and another suffered from poor direction. There were definitely highs to offset these lows, like the MagicAllie and KyokoMistake routes, but it definitely made me a bit more iffy toward the future of Student Transfer. Still, bloody love the game and hope it continues forever though, unlike some dummy-dumb haters. You know who you are!”

Callie Worstechire: “Kon?”

Natalie: “If you know, you know! Even geniuses can be wrongheaded boobs sometimes.”

Natalie: “Zenless Zone Zero is a game that I would love if it were a AAA or AA single-player premium release. I love the vibes, the designs, the aesthetic, and even the basic diet character action lite combat system with its character switching and supers. I think its world is really neat and full of all sorts of great ideas— even if much of the game’s lore is wrong in my opinion. And I just adore the little PS2-hub-world-ass city that the development team made. Unfortunately, it chose the path of being a gacha game. Thus making it a game that neither respects the player~~‘s time~~ and deliberately worsens itself in order to lull the player into bits of filler and bits of the hypest shit. I want to love it, but I just cannot open my heart to games like this anymore.”

Natalie: “Murder Mystery Legacy Route is a fascinating historical oddity, and I was glad that I gave it a proper review like this. It is a very messy and raw experience, full of ideas, yet with its structural problems and some just bad decisions, I can see why it was blocked off for so long. Still, they should have released this with Version 4.0, not 8.0. Those silly billies.”

Natalie: “Class of ‘09: The Flip Side… really feels like a side project of ideas that its creative lead came up with while he was trying to run and oversee production for the Class of ’09 anime pilot. (Which was good by the way.) It’s a far less robust package than either prior entry and while the series was never a barrage of flawless bangers, many of the stories here are just… odd. The curious choice to focus on foot fetishes for a third of the game. The decision to cap off the teacher dating route with a non-ending. The way it kills off an incidental fan favorite character, seemingly just to garner outrage. And the ‘true ending’ goose chase that… does not make sense within the context of the game. Its dialogue, performances, and jokes are still quality, but in an effort to strike the iron while it’s hot, the creative lead just struck his damn thumb.”

Vidkun Gaimz: “…Okay, I think that covers it. Am I supposed to do something else here or—”

Natalie: “No! Get outta here and make whoopie with your hot boyfriend!! You’re gonna need it for what I have planned for you!”

Vidkun Gaimz: “Yeah, that’s not disturbing or anything…”

Part 4-2: Natalie Rambles About PokéRogue
(The Abridged Version)

Natalie: “Oh cripes, I said I was gonna do a PokéRogue Ramble, didn’t I? Well, okay. I guess I’ll do this one, and just do it solo, because I want to get this Ramble done on time, and I only gave myself 90 minutes to write this!”

Natalie: “PokéRogue is an incomplete browser game that I love deeply and truly, to the point where it is an almost dream game for me. I have invested over 253 hours into it since it launched, BEYOND TEN DAYS and for good reason. It’s really bloody fun. While there are many things that many people love about Pokémon, my favorite thing is building a team of cool little guys and going on a journey with them through a series of incremental challenges. Exploration is nice, but sometimes I just wish that an RPG could just be the battle system, and that’s what PokéRogue is.”

Natalie: “You start out each run by selecting from a growing list of Pokémon, with a collection of upgraded IVs, unlocked abilities, broken custom egg moves, and passives. With your starters selected, you begin traversing through 200 floors of encounters and challenges. Wild Pokémon, trainers, rival battles, evil team encounters, events that really can be just about anything, and so forth. But after six gym battles, it’s off to the Elite Four and champion battle, before traversing the final era to fight the rival and the ultimate boss of each run, Eternatus.”

Natalie: “This is the basic structure of the classic mode, but what makes PokéRogue special is multifaceted. Firstly, every Pokémon is here, every one can be used, and this allows for each run to feel unique and have its own challenges and hurdles. Which are similarly compounded with the implementation of challenge runs, turning this into a roguelike that you can play through for dozens upon dozens of times, while having unique experiences. Every Pokémon team is unique, every run has enough random variables to be dynamic, and there are enough random variables at play to make the game feel fresh. What wild Pokémon are encountered, what items can the player choose from after most encounters, and what biome the player goes to next.”

Natalie: “The progression system in PokéRogue is almost entirely fixated on the starting Pokémon the player has access to. This roster can be upgraded in several ways. Catching Pokémon unlocks them as a starter, gives the player access to their nature, IVs, ability, and gender, and provides them with one or two Pokémon-specific candies. Pokémon eggs can be obtained by finding and unlocking egg vouchers, which are used on the egg gacha to get Pokémon eggs that come with egg moves and give at least two candies. And hatching counts as catching, just like in the regular games. While using a Pokémon in battle gives the player access to candies.”

Natalie: “Candies are a currency used to unlock one of three things in a Pokémon. Their often overpowered passive, a reduction to the starting cost, or getting an egg of them. Eggs are only ever a good option if they are the only option.”

Natalie: “This progression system works, and over time it is feasible to accumulate a stacked roster. One full of overpowered critters with near-max IVs, ideal natures, all abilities, unlocked passives, reduced costs, and buck-wild egg moves. It feels like an accomplishment when the player reaches this point, as it takes days of work to unlock this all, even for a lonely Zigzagoon. However, it is also a rather imprecise one, in part because other systems have yet to be implemented. Which is where I get into the reason why I did not get around to a PokéRogue review yet. The game is not finished and changes can arise at a rapid pace. This was semi-recently seen with the evil team updates and the mystery encounter updates, which both added more challenge and surprise to each run.”

Natalie: “One of these announced yet unimplemented features was related to the map. A tool that is used to navigate the world of PokéRogue, its 35 biomes, and choose what path you want to go down on crossroads. Except rather than have this be a starting item, it is up to lady luck whether the player ever gets it during a run. Meaning that the player is sent through a semi-random assortment of biomes. Which might not be bad, if not for two reasons.”

Natalie: “One, despite having 35 biomes, a lot of them are filled with samey wild Pokémon, robbing variety from the game and only offering the promise of potential encounters. The common appearance rate is far too common next to the uncommon or rare, with the rates being 69.53%, 24.22%, 5.08%, 0.98%, 0.20%. Which is an absurd distribution, even for a predatory gacha game. It means that there are about a dozen Pokémon I have not found yet— after 240 hours— and many more I have never found in the wild.”

Natalie: “Two, navigating between biomes sucks because the biome map of PokéRogue is a wad of vomited-up mom’s spaghetti.”

Natalie: “Like, seriously, what the frick is this shaz? They could have kept it simple and just laid out the biomes in a grid and let the player navigate things in the four cardinal directions. With the right edge going to the edge and the top going to the bottom. They could have added new biomes to spruce up variety, and have been working on that for months. But it is not in the game, so it is a mere paratextual intention.”

Natalie: “The biome navigation, lack of an in-game map system, and requirement to find the map, all give PokéRogue a level of friction that I simply do not care for. It is not an added challenge, it is just an added sense of helplessness that feels unwarranted when on my 80th successful run. Is that really an ideal challenge in a game that is so focused on resource management, catching Pokémon to build up a team, and enduring a string of randomized threats? I would say no. Just because a mechanic is annoying does not make it good. It just encourages players to drop runs.”

Natalie: “PokéRogue has problems, and could be a far more diverse and exciting game if just a few things were tweaked, which is before getting into bizarre decisions. Like making the special evolution items— mega stones and gigantamax forms— locked behind rare drops. Drops that appear even if you lack a Pokémon capable of doing either. The routine rebalancing of their custom egg moves and passives, often drastically changing how a Pokémon plays. And the weird insistence on only using the movesets from a Pokémon’s last mainline game appearance. Which I think is wrong. So wrong that I actually made a cumbersome, grossly inefficient, spreadsheet compiling every move every Pokémon was able to learn in any game. …And I had to split the spreadsheet in two parts to not destroy the trail. I am the picture of sanity.”

Natalie: “And it was ultimately this lack of ‘meaningful improvements,’ combined with how much I played the game, that I just gravitated away toward it. I LOVE the game, but I want it to be better, and know the developers can make it better. I had problems with the catch rates being dogwater, and they implemented critical capture from the real games, which is a massive boon when trying to catch Pokémon with a base 45 or less catch rate. If the developers can continue doing things like this, then the game will be dramatically better going forward. …But I have not yet addressed one of the core reasons I really like PokéRogue.”

Natalie: “PokéRogue is freaking fast! You can crank the game up to 5x speed, and you feel like an absolute god of destruction as you rapidly tap through different options. It lets you surgically going through encounters with very little getting in the way of the player doing something, and then seeing an action, seeing the results. It does so much to make the encounters feel snappy, make runs feel quick, and does a lot to the ‘just a little bit more’ factor.”

Natalie: “This, combined with starting with the best versions of Pokémon, with great moves from the start, lets you feel like a force of destruction, and makes the game’s challenges feel a lot more digestible. Even when going up against Mega Rayquaza and Eternatus with a team of nothing but grass Pokémon! Also, every round in the game is seeded, so if you fail a round, you can just refresh the page and try again. No need to restart your run!”

Natalie: “So, what do I actually want beyond reworked rarity systems, better biomes, and more curated learnsets? A better way to farm for Pokémon specific candies than starting a run and mashing A to win every encounter with an overpowered egg move. A reward and incentive for getting all those damn achievements. And introduce some permanent unlockables. The map, mega bracelet, dynamax band, maybe one EXP share, various charms. Things that make the game slightly easier and make runs slightly more consistent.”

Natalie: “…So in conclusion, I think PokéRogue is great, I would recommend it in an instant, but want it to be even better, because hoo boy do minor gripes crawl at me after 250 hours. …Can I go on to the next phase now, Vid?”

Rather than responding with words, Vidkun, who had been standing in the background since the state of this section, pulled a lever that sent Natalie through a trapdoor. After a minute of bouncing around Cassandra’s castle interior, she exited into the courtyard, where she fell face-first into the pond, disturbing the fishies. Fortunately, Natalie was no worse for wear. Just deeply, profoundly, wet.

Part 5: TSF Showcase – The Rundown
(Mostly A Retrospective)

Natalie: “I LOVE doing TSF Showcases. It is a type of post that neatly encompasses one of my key interests, and is something that I believe nobody else is doing for TSF works. Detailed analysis of works that recapped them for the uninitiated, interjected with my established breed of semi-snarky comedy. Not just discussion, but something greater. I did not consider them to be proper reviews… but being honest, they are. Just a different breed than my game reviews, which are modeled after what I view as the typical written game review. While the structure of TSF Showcase gradually evolved into… basically my version of Atop the Fourth Wall of Ross’s Game Dungeon.”

The fertile ground beneath Natalie’s feet in this courtyard garden then began to shift and shake before two creatures burst out from the earth like popped pimples. They both had stout, stubby humanoid bodies, yet rather than being made of flesh, they were both plants. One had a giant bean for their head and a long mane of black hair as long as their body, dressed in an oversized black T-shirt. While the other had a cabbage for a head and a dandy brown trilby hat on his scalp, wearing a fitted plaid shirt and brown jacket, with no trousers to speak of.

Shaggy Critter: “Roßscottalou!”

Dandy Critter: “Linkaralou!”

Natalie: “Oh shit! New characters! This wasn’t part of the original vision!”

Roßscottalou: “We were happy to be your inspiration-a-lou!”

Linkaralou: “We love our fans-a-lou! Even if they are as eccentric as you-a-lou!”

Natalie: “…Wow, my brain is really going. I am taking men whose work I admired since I was a teenager and personifying them as cartoon vegetable critters.”

Roßscottalou: “A bean is not a veggie-a-lou!”

Natalie: “It’s close enough! THEY COME FROM THE GROUND!”

Linkaralou: “We wanted to help you reflect-a-lou on everything you’ve done with this segment-a-lou!”

Natalie: “A TSF Showcase retrospective? Alright. I can do that!“

Natalie: “TSF Showcase is an idea that I came up with in July 2023 after Espeon relaunched her translation group, Gender.TF. It was a spur of the moment decision, albeit one tempered by various Rundown segments I ran about TSF comics and the like. Early examples of TSF Showcase were still me figuring out what I wanted to do with the series, and I originally envisioned them as segments. Quick ways for me to highlight and showcase a TSF work that I thought was neat or novel in some manner, focusing on what I thought was neat about it. While conducting a plan to partition and file all of these segments in a big TSF readers digest or large compilation at the end of the year. It made sense at the time. But as the segment evolved, it stopped making sense.”

Natalie: “As time went on, my approach to these TSF Showcases changed. They grew longer, covered more intensive and lengthy series, and I began recapping and walking the reader through the entire series. This only started getting bad in Q1 2024, but after I wrote a 9,000 word essay on Futaba-kun Change! in April, I knew that this compilation approach was just a bad call. So bad that I had to break apart my Q2 2024 compilation into two halves. The article would be so long and image intensive it made the WordPress editor almost unusable.”

Natalie: “I have considered going back and cleaning things up. Breaking up the compilations, rewriting a few of them to be more detailed, and retroactively adding them as posts. From an organization perspective, that would be very helpful and possibly bring more readers to the compilations. These all have done well, but they would have a better presence and greater optimization if I posted them as individual posts. It is yet another ounce of busywork that I would love to tell an AI to do for me, but AI is only good at stealing, answering, and generating crap. Because if I did this, it would take me a full work day, maybe two.”

Linkaralou: “You’re losing the plot-a-lou!”

Natalie: “Focusing on what I actually did though, I established TSF Showcase as a core pillar of Natalie.TF, showing all manner of oddities, relics, and miscellaneous works every week. …Except for two weeks in September, because I was too busy with real work and focusing on finishing my damn novel!”

Roßscottalou: “You gotta prioritize your passions-a-lou!”

Natalie: “Is that why it took you six and a half years to get halfway through Freeman’s Mind 2? …And why you still haven’t finished your damn movie yet?”

Roßscottalou: “Fuck you-a-lou!”

Natalie: “Look, my scrimblos, I understand what you are saying. That I should focus on doing what I love doing and prioritize that… but unfortunately, TSF Showcase is not my favorite thing to do. While I adore doing this, forcing myself to analyze things I love and giving me the opportunity to share works, I have too many other priorities lined up, and need to change the schedule.”

Linkaralou: “You sure-a-lou? I never missed a Monday in 16 years-a-lou.”

Natalie: “You’re lucky to get out 40 reviews in a year. What are you even talking about, dood?”

Roßscottalou: “I want to put out as much as I can-a-lou, as there are too many interesting things to not share-a-lou! But it is important to balance what makes cash-a-lou with what you want to do-a-lou! It’s why I started my whole channel-a-lou! You think I was making a lot of money from Civil Protection-a-lou? No way-a-lou!”

Linkaralou: “This is also our job-a-lou. Is this your job-a-lou?”

Natalie: “Homedawg, do you see ads running on this site? Natalie.TF makes me negative $325 a year. And I cannot even write it off on my taxes, as there is no realistic way for me to make money off it! The only thing that ever made me a few bucks was selling my novels, but I stopped doing that. Amazon’s probably using all of their Kindle books for AI training anyway…”

Roßscottalou: “YouTube does too-a-alou!”

Natalie: “But for as much as I love doing so many things on Natalie.TF— game reviews, TSF Series, and TSF Showcase, my greatest love is just writing my novels. …And it’s been two months since I’ve been able to touch those, meaning I have six months to outline, draft, proof, and release a novel that will be at least 150k words long. So, you know what that means?”

Linkaralou & Roßscottalou: “Schedule cuts-a-lou~!”

Natalie: “That’s right! While I REALLY want to maintain a weekly and monthly schedule, and have tried on and off over the years, I simply cannot maintain certain things. So TSF Showcase, as much as I love it, will be reduced to a monthly segment. With new installments coming out the last Tuesday of the month. I will try to keep every installment substantial, at least 5,000 words, and if I want to cover shorter works, I will cover two works in a month. Again, I’d like to do more. I’d like to do weekly TSF Showcases, monthly TSF Series, and at least two game reviews a month. But I sadly need to sleep sometime, work sometime, play with my friends sometime, and write my novels sometime.”

Linkaralou: “But do people like or read your novels-a-lou?”

Natalie: “Nah, they just don’t read them. My novel chapters are the worst performing content on Natalie.TF. And I have proof! Yes, it’s time yet again for statistics!”

Roßscottalou: “It’s time for math-a-lou~!”

Part 6: Natalie.TF Traffic Stats – 2024 Edition
(Natalie.TF Unwrapped!!!)

Natalie: “To help me with the statistics, I have enlisted one of my smartest human-level characters with Zoe Xing, who was a dear and produced all these graphs and charts for you kids.”

Zoe Xing: “Technically Natalie did all the work. Because we cannot exist in the same plane of reality.”

Natalie: “Then how did Vidkun punch me?”

Zoe Xing: “The power of will, I suppose?”

Natalie: “Anyway, here’s a spreadsheet showing some fun stats, along with the full view counts for everything posted on Natalie.TF through the years. However, due to time constraints, all this data was extracted on December 26, 2024. Which isn’t the full year, but it’s close!”

Zoe Xing: “Yes, however, I would like to recognize two material problems in the dataset.”

Natalie: “…What did you do, Zoe?”

Zoe Xing: “There are two problems with the export provided via Jetpack and your WordPress plugin. The first is that the annual word count reported by WordPress is different from the word count per post generated by various plugins. In 2023, Jetpack claims you published 509,136 words, while the plugin claims you published 634,817 words. I checked word count in the editor itself for certain posts, and while it is different, it is not a material difference. It is likely due to how different word counters have different definitions of what a word is.”

Zoe Xing: “The second problem is that Jetpack only lists the first 480 or so top results when exporting your site traffic history, when you will have 1590 live posts on Natalie.TF by year-end. This means that we lack view counts for every post, including some posts released this year. Namely, certain chapters for Verde’s Doohickey 2.0 and all but one chapter of Psycho Shatter 1988.”

Natalie: “What? Really? C’mon, you guys! I thought you liked my writing! Am I doing something wrong with how I distribute or format the story?”

Zoe Xing: “Quite likely.”

Natalie: “Quiet you!”

Zoe Xing: “The manually extracted data for your novels is as follows:”

Verde’s Doohickey 2.0 SSR – Act 1: Switch & Swap
- May 16th: Prom Pomf Pomf Preview – 131 Views
- May 29th: Enter Verde’s Doohickey 2.0 – 78 Views
- May 30th: Let’s Get Swappin’ – 61 Views
- May 31th: Flare Family Fiasco – 58 Views
- June 1st: Graduation Day – 46 Views
- June 2nd: The Kurokawa ‘Sisters’ – 25 Views
- June 3th: My Day As Zoe Xing – 53 Views
- June 4th: Love in Seoul – 39 Views
- June 5th: Sister Mother and Sister Daughter – 35 Views
- June 6th: Back 2.0 Basics – 34 Views
- June 7th: Bulking Up The Roster – 44 Views
- June 8th: Anita Neukar in… Vivi Gaimz – 33 Views
- June 9th: Mother Daughter Heart-2.0-Heart – 31 Views
- June 10th: Daisuke and Paz in… Wacked Up Wednesday – 27 Views
- June 11th: VAG Swap – 33 Views
- June 12th: Terra’s Tomorrow – 17 Views
- June 13th: Haruki’s Birthday Bash – 30 Views

Verde’s Doohickey 2.0 SSR – Act 2: Chaos & Confusion
- June 14th: Jade and the Kuro Abigale Quinlans – 30 Views
- June 15th: Aku_Mako’s E3 2015 Rundown – Day Zero – 17 Views
- June 16th: Transform Sex Power – 26 Views
- June 17th: Erotic Blitz – 19 Views
- June 18th: An Evening At The Local Water Park – 17 Views
- June 19th: Date Night Cubed – 12 Views
- June 20th: Chicago Diamond Symphonia – 30 Views
- June 21st: The Father’s Day Resurrection Special – 38 Views
- June 22nd: Nazz and Liang Do Flare Industries – 31 Views
- June 23rd: The Kurokawa Family Visits the Museum of Science and Industry – 27 Views
- June 24th: Whatever Happened to… Yuccot Kikansky? – 34 Views
- June 25th: A World Where The Gamers Won – 34 Views
- June 26th: Bond Xing – 24 Views
- June 27th: SSS – Sizzling Sexual Summer – 23 Views
- June 28th: Lesbians 2.0 Gay Boys – 21 Views
- June 29th: Caroline and Raiyne’s Cabin Logs – 47 Views

Psycho Shatter 1988: Black Vice X Weiss Vice
- Atrocity 01: The Nujiboe Society for Caucasoid Prosperity – 19 Views
- Atrocity 02: The White Awakening – 36 Views
- Atrocity 03: The Black Awakening – 11 Views
- Atrocity 04: The Apartheid Absolution – 10 Views
- Atrocity 05: The Victims of the White Empire – 8 Views
- Atrocity 06: The Fascistin’ Limmerickin’ Chicken – 6 Views
- Atrocity 07: The Imperative Intermission – 5 Views
- Atrocity 08: The White Devil – 9 Views
- Atrocity 09: The Plan to Eradicate Weiss Vice – 9 Views
- Atrocity 10: The Milky of Hope – 4 Views
- Atrocity 11: The Power of Nippon Imagination – 7 Views
- Atrocity 12: The Assault on Washington – 8 Views
- Atrocity 13: The Evils of Richard Rooadoot Ratters – 6 Views
- Atrocity 14: The Battle of Black X White – 5 Views
- Atrocity 15: The World Where Evil Won – 3 Views
- Atrocity 16: The New Future – 10 Views
- Atrocity 17: The World of Boundless Color – 10 Views

Natalie: “Looking over this data, I want to draw on two conclusions. One, only a maximum of 17 people fully read through all of Acts 1 and 2 of Verde’s Doohickey 2.0. Two, only a maximum of three people read through all of Psycho Shatter 1988: Black Vice X Weiss Vice. …Wow, you people really don’t give a shit about this, now do you?”

Zoe Xing: “Natalie, please, this is likely just a result of—”

Natalie: “Now I almost want to just pivot exclusively to novels to spite you dastards. …Almost.”

Socially cognisant enough to see that Natalie was upset about this outcome, Zoe reached into his pants pocket and produced a candy bar that he gingerly handed to this 30-year-old woman. She promptly snatched the treat from him and slowly nibbled it like a small woodland critter before crinkling up the wrapper and placing it in the wastebasket. Satisfied, she returned to her seat and resumed this segment.

Natalie: “God, am I glad that I am forcing Ramble enjoyers to trek through characters from novels that they didn’t fucking read. Lay the annual stats on me, Z-kun.”

Zoe Xing: “Certainly, Miss Neumann. First, we have your overarching annual stats, based on activity captured on December 26, 2024, meaning these are not true year-end numbers. Just good enough for who it’s for.”

Natalie: “YOOOOO~! 2021 was my peak year at 327,941 annual views! 2022 and 2023 were basically minor decreases and repeats, at 276,821 and 276,511 respectively. While 2024 is at a rousing 338,008 views! That’s A New Record! I’m in the money~! I’m in the money~! Even though I don’t get no cash from this ish~! As for why I did so much better, my quick and dirty guess is TSF Showcase gave me a nice boost, same with putting out new reviews for the big three of Student Transfer, Press-Switch and re:Dreamer. Show me those stats!”

Zoe Xing: “Actually, your re:Dreamer figures are down from your 2023 views.”

Natalie: “Blame CapCap for not getting out enough updates. Fewer updates means fewer reasons to check out my reviews.”

Zoe Xing: “Additionally, your 2024 Student Transfer scenario reviews went down considerably, from 46,930 in 2023 to 38,815 in 2024, due to the lack of new scenario reviews. This roughly undoes the boost in views from Press-Switch and Student Transfer.”

Natalie: “Oooooh? So what were my biggest sources of views?”

Zoe Xing: “Discounting the big three, let’s take a look at the top 30.”

Zoe Xing: “Remarkably, your home page views are up by nearly 20,000 from 2023, and many of the highest performing posts you highlighted last year have continued to do well. Class of ‘09 and Class of ‘09: The Re-Up. Natalie Rambles About Metamorphosis. Natalie Rambles About TSF and Natalie Rambles About TSF Comics. Rundown (3/26/2023) One Year After Body Swap Terrorism Incident is DOPE! Palladium Version 0.0.4. When I Woke Up, I Became A Bagel Girl. All of these are niche topics that you discussed well, and included a large number of images.”

Zoe Xing: “Rundown (3/05/2023) Natalie Remembered SapphireFoxx was strangely your second highest viewed post after your Student Transfer Version 8.0 review. Similarly, your best performing Rundown from this year was the one where you featured The Auto-Closet by Kristen O and the One Sexy Error series from SapphireFoxx. This indicates that you should feature SapphireFoxx far more than you have been.”

Natalie: “…I would rather not commit to doing everything SapphireFoxx has ever done but… screw it. If this is what the people want… I already have the files and can cover early installments. Maybe I can make it a quarterly thing. But no promises. What about my other new 2024 posts?”

Zoe Xing: “TSF Showcase reigns supreme.”

Natalie: “Helly yay~!”

Zoe Xing: “The first four compilations all did well, though likely not as well as they would as individual posts. The Q2 compilations did worse, but they were published later in the year, with the Q2 2024 Part 2 compilation not making the list. Meanwhile, individual TSF Showcases generally did well. Pokémon TSF Series (Season 1 – 2.5) and Pokémon TSF Series (Season 3 – 4) succeeded because the artist saw them and shared them with his readers. Same with Swaphouse, which you featured in Rundown (8/04/2024) Swap Bodies and Have Sex While I Watch.”

Zoe Xing: “Requited Change did well, in part because the creator was fairly prolific and suffered an ‘dramatic decline’. Kouji X Amulai Sweets Factory Hero Comics had two weeks as the only available showcase, and functioned as a compilation of a popular TSF artist’s work. Though, there are two surprise successes.”

Natalie: “They’re really one success though. Like I said last year, the success of Rundown (9/25-10/01) Dope Skinsuit Comic. BIG Inspiration. Inferior Official Distribution is likely due to the absence of bodysuit/skinsuit content out there. As such, I should not be surprised that my second look at Changed Into A High School Girl did as well as it did. Also, Class of ’09: The Flip Side Review just barely surpassed 1,000 views, which is good for a review that went out a month late and only had two months to breathe.”

Zoe Xing: “On that note, recall what your top 30 looked like for 2023 and how the list dropped past the 800 threshold during the middle. Meanwhile, every post in your top 30 list exceeds 800 2024 views. This means you were producing more ‘high view’ posts this year, in part thanks to the TSF Showcase Compilations.”

Natalie: “So I am attracting more readers! Looking at the data included in the top bit, I went from 81,484 visitors in 2023 to 107,836 visitors in 2024! That’s over 25% growth! Most likely, TSF Showcase was bringing more people back every week. Now then, Mister Xing! Show me the worldwide stats!”

Zoe Xing: “China is your number two country for the second year in a row, though your American audience continues to both grow and amount to the overwhelming majority of your views.”

Natalie: “I don’t know how I managed to sneak past the firewall, and I’m not going to ask you, because you’ve never visited China.”

Zoe Xing: “Correct. Though, I am a Chinese national. Wǒ jīngtōng zhōngwén, suǒyǐ wǒ kěyǐ zài zhōngguó shēnghuó.“

Natalie: “Whatever that means! But doesn’t Jetpack have a new feature? How are people reading Natalie.TF?”

Zoe Xing: “This spread is actually a bit too clean for me to fully believe it. Getting a 50/50 split of anything is rare, and this is showing a clear divide between desktop and mobile. Chrome is naturally the most common browser, as it is the most popular browser in the United States. Windows dominates your desktop user base, with a few Linux and Mac users thrown in, while your mobile readership is a clean 30/70 with iOS and Android.”

Natalie: “That… indicates I should focus more on the Natalie.TF mobile experience.”

Zoe Xing: “Yes. You only preview your desktop version, and when you set the pixel width of your images, it screw things up on mobile.”

Natalie: “…HOW? I am setting how tall or wide an image is? Why would setting the height make it taller on mobile?”

Zoe Xing: “To quote Maxxie, ‘that’s a you problem.'”

Natalie: “To quote Maxxie, ‘GARF!'”

Natalie: “…Actually, I tried a quick fix to address these, but at this point I might need to hire a web designer to help me out with some of these settings. If I have any web designers in the audience, leave a comment and I’ll give you money for your time and expertise!”

Zoe Xing: “Moving onto your monthly views, we see a continuation of several trends. Your viewership spikes following the release of new Press-Switch and Student Transfer releases, as seen with the view counts May to July, but your views continued to hold steady throughout the rest of the year, rather than dropping off. This indicates that readers who came to the site for one thing enjoyed your content and became routine visitors.”

Natalie: “That’s an optimistic take, but I appreciate it.”

Zoe Xing: “Next, we have your annual insights, showing over 130 posts, over a million words of content, and a rather considerable quantity of comments. Though, it is best to analyze these changes by looking at a comparative chart.”

Natalie: “Hold up Zoe, this data is not necessarily accurate, as it is treating TSF compilations as new content, as unique words. While I did add and revise certain segments when preparing these compilations, they are so packed with recycled content that I do not want to count any of them. And these compilations… make up a lot of my 2024 content.”

TSF Showcase – 2023 Compilation Part 1 – 23,426 words
TSF Showcase – 2023 Compilation Part 2 – 21,060 words
TSF Showcase – 2023 Compilation Part 3 – 22,217 words
TSF Showcase – Q1 2024 Compilation – 35,959 words
TSF Showcase – Q2 2024 Compilation Part 1 – 32,316 words
TSF Showcase – Q2 2024 Compilation Part 2 – 30,101 words

Natalie: “Add them up, and this is 165,079 words of repackaged content. Content that I REALLY should have migrated over to its own posts a while back, rather than treading each Rundown like a magazine with TSF Showcase being a side comic. Oh well. I made the transition, and everything is better because of it!”

Zoe Xing: “In addition to that subtraction, certain additions need to be made, as these stats do NOT include the final three posts for 2024. Rundown (12/29/2024) Humdrum Holiday and Flaccid Festivities is 2,232 words. TSF Showcase 2024-51 is 8,126. And this Ramble is… 30,676 Words.”

Natalie: “Doing the math here, starting with 1,084,655, we get 960,610 words. Does this mean I wrote 960,610 words in one year? …No! Because my biggest project this year, Verde’s Doohickey 2.0: Sensational Summer Romp Acts 1 and 2, was mostly produced during 2023. Exact word count is a bit tricky for this project— the master copies are 145,115 and 227,818 words respectively— so I’ll call it 373,500 words in total. Subtract that from the total and… we have 587,110 words of content produced exclusively in 2024. Though, I did write 161,600 words of the novel in 2024, along with editing every word, so I could justify saying that I wrote 748,710 words in a year. That’s over 2,000 words a day~! Regardless, I still delivered over half a million words! Hell yeah! I achieved The Goal!”

Zoe Xing: “…Is that all, Miss Neumann?.”

Natalie: “Yep! You can go now, Zoe. I hope you’re looking forward to people stealing your body from you for the rest of your bizarre summer.”

Zoe Xing: “This summer, I have spent far more time in other people’s bodies compared to my own. My mother basically turned herself into a blonde version of me. And my father came back from the dead. Somehow, the word bizarre does not properly capture what this summer has been.”

Natalie: “Well, then I hope you look forward to a absolutely fucking baffling Act 3, 4, and 5! And I know they’re gonna be baffling, because I haven’t even written the outline! Kukukukuku~!”

Part 7: The Straight Dope on 2025!
(Hope For The Best, Prepare For The Worst)

Akumako: “So, was this a good idea?”

Natalie: “Aw hell no. I am not going to try this again. This is so much easier when I just need to worry about spewing my thoughts out. At most, I’ll have you as my co-host next year.”

Akumako: “What? You don’t pay me enough for that!”

Natalie: “I don’t pay you, period! We’re two halves of a whole and until we can find the magical earrings of the gods, we’re stuck like this! Just like how I’m stuck with the fact that I did not achieve the goals I set for myself last year.”

Akumako: “Damn straight! Nat here didn’t do her quarterly rambles with Cassie. She didn’t get out VD 2.0 Act 3—”

Natalie: “You wouldn’t have read it anyway~!”

Akumako: “Still! Why didn’t you get Cassie to write about movies for you?”

Natalie: “We started watching more anime series and movies that Cassie was not as familiar with, or from series she was not familiar with. The 2023 Rambles worked because Cassie had seen a lot of the movies we were talking about and had a connection to the IP. And as movies, we could quickly do a write-up in the hours after watching it. Throughout 2024, we watched more than a few films and a handful of anime series, but when it came to doing write-ups or Rambles, neither of us really wanted to do it… so we didn’t. I was busy with my novels, and Cassie was busy being Cassie.”

Akumako: “Fine, fine. …But TSF Series #019: Suicide to Success, Student Transfer Scenario Reviews, and the FlipSwitch: Forbidden Sex Hex Review were all missing in action.”

Natalie: “I was too bummed by the election to put out a new TSF Series. The scenario reviews were cast aside for bigger and longer TSF Showcases. And Momo Games left me out to dry! I know game dev funding is shot at the moment, but you have a successful NSFW indie game. They could update it, make an SFW mode for streaming, or do anything! Instead, they just waited eight months before giving a vague update that was probably written in five minutes, tops. I want to cover it, but I feel burned by the developer’s lack of action.”

Akumako: “But what about—”

Natalie: “Shut the hell up! I put out loads of stuff this year. I covered more TSF content than literally any other writer has ever done in a year. I’m a damn trailblazer, and that trail got blazed straight to hell! So I’m not taking any shit from my demon-half about not doing this or that!”

Akumako: “…What’s the plan for 2024?”

Natalie: “This:”

1/28/2025 – TSF Showcase 2025-01
2/12/2025 – Pokémon Trading Card Game Pocket Review
2/25/2025 – TSF Showcase 2025-02
3/25/2025 – TSF Showcase 2025-03
4/29/2025 – TSF Showcase 2025-04
5/??/2025 – All in Abyss: Judge the Fake Review
5/27/2025 – TSF Showcase 2025-05
6/03/2025 – re:Dreamer Review #6
6/24/2025 – TSF Showcase 2025-06
7/01/2025 – Verde’s Doohickey 2.0: Sensational Summer Romp – Act 3: Worldly Wonders (150k+ word novel)
7/29/2025 – TSF Showcase 2025-07
8/26/2025 – TSF Showcase 2025-08
9/30/2025 – TSF Showcase 2025-09
10/28/2025 – TSF Showcase 2025-10
11/17/2025 – FlipWitch – Forbidden Sex Hex Review (unless DLC is announced)
11/25/2025 – TSF Showcase 2025-11
12/12/2025 – Psycho Shatter 2000: Black Vice Mania (150k+ word novel)
12/30/2025 – TSF Showcase 2025-12
12/31/2025 – Natalie Rambles About 2025

Natalie: “I expect both Student Transfer and Press-Switch to release updates in 2025, meaning you can expect me to put out something within two weeks. Unless it’s tax season, because taxes are more important than video games. But beyond that… I don’t plan on doing much else!”

Akumako: “…WHAT? Are you fucking kidding me, you little bitch? How is that all you have planned for 2025?!”

Natalie: “Ah damn, we’re running out of time so we’re recycling content now?”

Natalie: “Look, my little demon facet. I understand that this seems rather underwhelming after the content barrage of 2024. However, 2024 is a year whose output cannot be replicated. Too much was worked on in prior years, and I am ending the year with barely anything done for my 2024 slate. Though, don’t be too upset, as I am estimating a significant amount of stuff in 2024. 300k words of novels, 100k words in TSF Showcases, and 300k words in Rundowns. That is over 650k words in a year! And I won’t be taking any lip from anyone over a haul of this magnanimous scale!”

After pantomiming a conversation between herself and her imaginary demon friend, Natalie passed out in her computer chair, where she slept until the beginning of 2025.

Das Ende

Edit 12/30/2024: Corrected a factual misstaement regarding the Canadian government section. The NDP did NOT issue a vote of no confidence as of publishing this article. They just threatened to.

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Kaja 12/31/2024 Reply

It’s a hard time for us, transgender people, but I am not scared

We survived 2000 Years of attempts to kill, erase and institutionalise us, Trump, republicans and every other conservative are just another bunch of fascists we will outlasts

Stay strong everybody, The current order of the world is auto-cannibalistic in its nature, it will inevietably collapse and from its caracass a better day will come

Part 1-1: America Has Declined(And It’s All Because of The Consolidation of Power)

Part 1-2: Much Ado About Israel(America’s Plan to Genocide All Sand N***ers Vol. 17!)

Part 1-3: Dealing With Digital Dysfunction(And Addressing My Brain Rot)

Part 1-4: I See Germany, I See France, I See Korea, and I See An International Collapse!(Fascist Monster: Liberal Democracy Collapses!)

Part 1-5: Digital Surveillance State(Why Should I Be a Spy When You’re Spying Me?)

Part 2-1: The Gamindustri Rundown(Good Games, Bad Industry)

Part 2-2: Nintendo Switch 2: The Unannounced Delight(Coping with Maxxie)

Part 2-3: I Just Want To See Xbox Hit The Gallows…(Xbox is Everything And Xbox is Nothing)

Part 2-4: ROM Hacking and Anti-Emulation(The Decay of a Beneficial Truce)

Part 2-5: The Great Pokémon Tera Leak(Naturally Co-Hosted by Terra Flare)

Part 2-6: Physical vs. Digital (Fight Consumption With Consumption)

Part 2-7: Let’s Go Gambling!(An Exploitative Excursion with ZXA Yunggurl)

Part 3: A Mostly Uneventful Year for Natalie(Except for Her Banger Vay-Kay With Cassie)

Part 4-1: Natalie Barely Played Games This Year…(So Let’s Punisher Her!)

Part 4-2: Natalie Rambles About PokéRogue(The Abridged Version)

Part 5: TSF Showcase – The Rundown(Mostly A Retrospective)

Part 6: Natalie.TF Traffic Stats – 2024 Edition(Natalie.TF Unwrapped!!!)

Part 7: The Straight Dope on 2025!(Hope For The Best, Prepare For The Worst)

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Discover more from Natalie.TF

Part 1-1: America Has Declined
(And It’s All Because of The Consolidation of Power)

Part 1-2: Much Ado About Israel
(America’s Plan to Genocide All Sand N*ers Vol. 17!)**

Part 1-3: Dealing With Digital Dysfunction
(And Addressing My Brain Rot)

Part 1-4: I See Germany, I See France, I See Korea, and I See An International Collapse!
(Fascist Monster: Liberal Democracy Collapses!)

Part 1-5: Digital Surveillance State
(Why Should I Be a Spy When You’re Spying Me?)

Part 2-1: The Gamindustri Rundown
(Good Games, Bad Industry)

Part 2-2: Nintendo Switch 2: The Unannounced Delight
(Coping with Maxxie)

Part 2-3: I Just Want To See Xbox Hit The Gallows…
(Xbox is Everything And Xbox is Nothing)

Part 2-4: ROM Hacking and Anti-Emulation
(The Decay of a Beneficial Truce)

Part 2-5: The Great Pokémon Tera Leak
(Naturally Co-Hosted by Terra Flare)

Part 2-6: Physical vs. Digital
(Fight Consumption With Consumption)

Part 2-7: Let’s Go Gambling!
(An Exploitative Excursion with ZXA Yunggurl)

Part 3: A Mostly Uneventful Year for Natalie
(Except for Her Banger Vay-Kay With Cassie)

Part 4-1: Natalie Barely Played Games This Year…
(So Let’s Punisher Her!)

Part 4-2: Natalie Rambles About PokéRogue
(The Abridged Version)

Part 5: TSF Showcase – The Rundown
(Mostly A Retrospective)

Part 6: Natalie.TF Traffic Stats – 2024 Edition
(Natalie.TF Unwrapped!!!)

Part 7: The Straight Dope on 2025!
(Hope For The Best, Prepare For The Worst)