Content Warning: Verde’s Doohickey 2.0: Sensational Summer Romp contains content that some readers might find disturbing, triggering or uncomfortable. This includes sexually explicit activities, strong language, and hateful language and slurs. Reader discretion is advised.
Verde’s Doohickey 2.0: Sensational Summer Romp
June 21st: The Father’s Day Resurrection Special
Part 1: Father’s Day – Kurokawa Side
Date: Sunday, June 21, 2015
Time: 08:15
Location: The Kurokawa Residence
The sound of a blaring alarm clock woke Daisuke up from his slumber. His eyes burst open to the familiar ceiling above and turned over to see the clock on his side of the bed, reading 8:15. He stretched his arm forward instinctively… only to miss the alarm clock as he tried to silence it. His arm was shorter, and as he moved his body, he quickly figured out why. He was still Dia.
Dia: “What? I’m… why am I a woman?”
He confusingly tore off his sheets as best he could with his shorter, weaker arms, and quickly realized he had slept in the nude, with his hefty breasts hanging off from his chest, swaying as he sat up. With a sigh, Dia stood up, stumbling slightly over his form, before finally silencing the alarm clock. He looked over himself once more, adopting a sour expression as he placed his hands beneath his breasts, before letting out a sigh.
Dia: “I don’t know why I chose to sleep like this, but I won’t be staying like this for long…”
Dia then began looking throughout the room for his VD 2.0. He distinctly remembered leaving it on the nightstand before he left with Paz, or rather Pas, to go to the beach yesterday. Yet, now it was nowhere to be seen. He huffed and groaned as he looked with his bright blue eyes, opened drawers with his dainty hands, and while he had no problem finding his phone… the VD 2.0 was nowhere to be seen.
Defeated, Dia had little choice but to get dressed in his current body. His underwear drawer had overflowed and expanded as a result of his transformation. While his eyes were— strictly by design— drawn to the more cute and sexy underwear he had, he opted for the most plain bra and panty he could find. With some stretching, he got dressed in both of them, breathing a sigh of relief from the support of the bra before sifting for the most masculine pair of pajamas in this collection of camisoles, felt pants, and nighties.
Dressed in ‘boyfriend pajamas,’ Dia traipsed down the stairs, his footing awkward and deliberated as he tried to keep his unbrushed hair out of his face and his breasts from bouncing about. Looking into the kitchen, he saw Paz, diligently cooking breakfast, albeit at a later time than usual. With soft emasculated steps, Dia entered into the kitchen and spoke to Paz, trying to make his voice sound deeper.
Dia: “Paz, do you know where my VD 2.0 is? For some reason, I woke up like—”
Before Dia could finish that thought, he was blindsided on both sides as Shiaka and Haruki appeared from the fringes of the kitchen and wrapped themselves around Dia, locking him in a hug. In response, he screamed, his faux contralto broken
Dia: “Gyaaa!”
Shiaka & Haruki: “Happy Father’s Day, Dad!”
Within an instant, whatever confidence Dia had completely deflated. He was standing next to his daughters, shorter than both of them, physically overpowered by them, and just made a squeaky scream before them.
Dia: “Th-Thank you, girls, but please, let me be your father before you wish me a happy Father’s Day! Do either—”
Before Dia could ask the crucial question, he had a plate shoved in his face, one featuring a pristinely crafted omurice, with the name ‘Dia’ written in Japanese characters. He already knew who was holding this, yet still looked up regardless and stared at Paz’s smiling face.
Paz: “I know it’s a bit childish, but I figured you could use something light and fluffy after last night. Things did get pretty rough near the end…”
Haruki: “Oh la la! Has dear old Dad finally accepted being a little cutie?”
Shiaka: “Well, I can’t say I expected that. Though, there is an appeal to switching around your role in a relationship…”
Dia: “You— You’ve got this all wrong! I don’t know what happened last night! Last thing I remember was going out to dinner at some damn jazz club and waking up like this! One of you, give me a VD 2.0 so I can go back to normal!”
Dia broke free of his daughters as he made his dissatisfaction known and stared up at Paz again. With a forlorn expression on her face, Paz sighed before growing closer to Dia, cupping her hand over her mouth as she whispered into Dia’s ear.
Paz: “You sure you don’t remember what we did last night? After you got a little wine in you, you became a little minx. We did it in an alley, in the car ride back home, and when we got home, oh, we just—”
Dia’s eyes and mouth shot open as the drunken memories came rushing back into his consciousness. It was like an anvil had just been dropped on his head and, for him, almost as painful. Whatever masculine pride he had in his body had shot out of his mouth and was currently flying far, far away at a breakneck speed.
Dia: “I… I forgot about that Paz… Please, let me forget about it again. Now, could one of you please turn me back into a man?!”
With a nod, Shiaka grabbed a VD 2.0 from the kitchen counter and used it on Dia, promptly transforming him back into Daisuke through a three second long transformation sequence. Everybody flinched as reality accommodated to this new normal, with clothing, pictures, and various personal artifacts, along with countless documents, were transformed in an instant.
Daisuke then looked down at himself. His clothes had grown with him, his body now stood well above the three women in this room, and his curves flattened into a simpler shape. He rubbed a hand along his face, feeling faint remnants of facial hair poking away at his coarser skin and promptly released a sigh of relief.
Daisuke: “Thank the maker. It’s good to be back to normal.”
Pulling back his usual chair, Daisuke made himself comfortable and looked at the omurice before him, still bearing the name Dia in kanji. Apparently, ketchup calligraphy is a bit beyond the scope of the reality changing properties of the VD 2.0. Groaning, Daisuke took his fork and smeared the ketchup across the egg, erasing the name.
Daisuke: “For the rest of the day, I don’t want to even think about what happened last night, or anything involving the VD 2.0.”
Haruki: “Aw, c’mon Dad. Was last—”
Daisuke: “Haruki, please. As a Father’s Day present.”
Haruki: “…Shaz! I completely forgot about that! Sorry Dad. I didn’t make you a card or anything.”
Daisuke: “It’s fine Haruki. Just… let’s enjoy a normal day together, that is all I want after… everything this week has brought.”
Paz: “If that’s what you really want, Dear.”
Daisuke: “I just want to spend a day being around the three most important women in my life. Now sit down and let’s enjoy breakfast together.”
With Paz having already set the table before Daisuke arrived, the three women took their usual seats. Daisuke basked in this normal sight… only to pause for one brief moment.
Daisuke: “Say… you are all who you appear to be, right?”
Shiaka: “O-Of course, Dad.”
Haruki: “Yeah, after that spiel of yours, we’d say if we weren’t ourselves.”
Daisuke: “Good, good. …Now, do I even want to know what you two got up to last night?”
Haruki: “Probably not.”
Daisuke: “Then, let’s dig in and get on with our day.”
Part 2: Father’s Day – Flare Side
Date: Sunday, June 21, 2015
Time: 08:47
Location: The Flare Residence
Elly: “Mahal Ko, it’s almost 9. Get out of bed!”
The sound of his wife’s voice was the best alarm for Ken, yet even it wasn’t always the most effective way of getting him to move his lumbering ass out of bed. Spending a night in Hawaii only made the usual jet lag unbearable by the time he landed at O’Hare. He couldn’t even remember when he fell asleep last night. He was definitely groggy despite however many hours of sleep he got, yet as Elly planted a kiss on his cheek, he sprang up in bed.
Ken: “Sorry Jaanu! I’m finally up.”
Elly: “Great! As a reminder, it’s the third Sunday in June, so—”
Ken: “Father’s Day! How could I forget?! …Then why did you wake me up?”
Ken looked at Elly with a shit-eating grin. He was still naked and she was dressed only in her underwear. She shrugged before sitting beside him on their bed.
Elly: “Because I don’t think you want to spend a whole day sleeping when you could be with your daughters.”
Ken: “Ha! Good point!”
Ken then got out of bed and the two proceeded to get dressed for the day, each settling on more casual outfits. Nothing fancy, nothing professional. Just a breezy top and capris for Elly and a T-shirt and jeans for Ken.
Elly: “Seeing as how it’s your day, do you have anything planned? Maybe you want to give me the chance to experience Father’s Day instead?”
Ken: “You already had Mother’s Day last month. Next year though? Definitely! But for now, I just want to keep things lax, just a quiet day at home. Maybe we’ll lounge in the pool and fire up the grill. Nothing special.”
Elly: “Good. For as much fun as it is switching around who we are, I’m still working on about six hours of sleep.”
Ken: “Is that your way of saying no to doing anything tonight?”
Elly: “Just make sure we’re asleep by midnight.”
Following a playful nudge from Elly, Ken walked downstairs to the dining room. There, he was met with the scents of coffee and bacon, vying for dominance, and the sight of his two daughters— Maxxie and ‘Terra’— looking up to him with smiling faces. They promptly greeted their father with a hug, wrapping their arms around him as he did the same.
Maxxie: “Welcome back, and happy Daddy’s Day!”
Raiyne(Terra): “Y-Yeah, welcome back, Dad!”
Ken: “I’ve missed you girls! So, how’ve you been? You haven’t been getting into trouble, have you?”
Breaking out of their hug, Maxxie gave Ken a sheepish look, not wanting to tell her father what she got up to, while also knowing that she really shouldn’t lie to him. Before she could formulate a response, Babs walked into the room, a plate of pancakes in one arm and a pot of coffee in another.
Babs: “Terra’s been a good girl— as she always is— but I’m sure you remember what Maxxie got up to on June 17th, right.”
As she entered the room, Babs began setting the table, like she had done thousands of times before. At this point, she didn’t even need to think about it.
Ken: “…I might have been a bit distracted then, so if you could—”
Babs: “Maxxie dragged us out to Chicago and went crazy with the VD 2.0. She was swapping our bodies, changing our sexes, and sending us on a wild goose chase as we tried to figure out who was who and where she was.”
Maxxie: “C’mon Babs! It was a helluva lotta fun and you know it!”
Babs: “What I know is that you nearly got us killed with how you were using that thing! What if we were crossing the street when you swapped us? What if your finger slipped and bam, suddenly we landed behind the wheel? What if someone stole the VD 2.0 from you? With how you were moving, hopping on trains and buses, it’s a small miracle you didn’t get yourself killed or lose one of these body swappers!”
Maxxie: “Yeah, yeah. You already scolded me and grounded me for that. I promise I’ll never go on a body swapping joyride through Chicago again. I just always wanted to do something like that, ever since I first learned what the OG VD could do. And now I’ve gotten it out of my system!”
Rather than react to this bold declaration with frustration or scorn, Ken, a mug of coffee in his hand, proceeded to give Maxxie a firm slap on the back.
Ken: “Thatta girl! You’re young, so it’s best to get all that out nice and early. Terra, you should probably learn to cut loose. Otherwise, you’ll have one nasty quarter-life crisis!”
Elly: “Ken, Maxxie could have easily gotten people killed. Do not encourage her! Of all people, you should know how dangerous it can be behind the wheel…”
Ken: “Come on Elly, that was 35 years ago and no one got hurt.”
Elly: “That’s because you got lucky. You know how crowded those sidewalks can be.”
Ken: “Alright, alright. Maxxie, what did you learn from this?”
Maxxie: “Just because something is fun, that doesn’t mean it isn’t dangerous. I should always swap responsibly, even if it’s really cool to schedule 6 body swaps to go off every 5 minutes .”
Ken: “…Good enough. Now, let me see what you would’ve looked like as my son?”
Maxxie: “Huh? Didn’t I send you pictures or—”
Ken: “You were already a girl again by the time I looked at them. In fact, you join in too Babs, or should I say… Bern.”
Ken chuckled at Babs’s male TransSex nickname and, with orders directly from her boss, she then grabbed a VD 2.0 from the kitchen, using it to transform herself before doing the same to Maxxie. Maxxie’s curves gathered around her gut as her body grew ten centimeters, settling on the form of a teenage boy with a boyish face. While Babs’s body grew both taller and more rigid, her muscles growing more pronounced as her boobs and ass flattened, while her hair sank inward to something within a masculine range, while still retaining its curls. The transformation happened at a rapid pace and when faced with the results, Ken went silent, rubbing his beard as he examined his new son and new household assistant.
Ken: “You know Max, you remind me when I was about your age.”
Max: “What, didja have freckles when you were younger and never tell me?”
Ken: “What? No! I’m trying to say that you’re a lot fatter than I would’ve thought. Just like when I was your age!”
Max: “How the hell were you fat? Weren’t your parents stupidly strict?”
Ken: “By the time I was in high school, they decided to take it easy on me.”
Babs: “Translation: He was a fuck up and they sopped putting expectations on him.”
Ken: “I prefer my version. Anyway, they just made a big investment in some big food company and whenever they came home from a meeting, they’d have these massive care packages. At least 5 kilos of food. My parents didn’t want to touch this stuff, because it was ‘low food,’ and none of my siblings were willing to either. But me? I just took it into my room and chowed down whenever I felt like it. And I kept on feeling like it!”
Elly: “Was this when you would eat a block of cheese every day?”
Ken: “Oh yeah! I’d say I had to work my ass off to get rid of all that weight, but…”
Ken then affectionately patted his belly. He wasn’t really fat, but he did have a bit of a gut, no question.
Max: “So that’s why I’m fat! Because you gave me bad habits!”
Bern: “Max, you’re fat because you’re fat. If you want to work on it, we have an exercise room.”
Max: “Yeah, but that shit takes too damn long! I know that if I stay determined, Verde will make the pounds just go away!”
Ken: “As for you Bern, you’re far more handsome in person.”
Bern then ruffled her short curly hair a little bit as she adopted a more bashful stance.
Bern: “Thanks Ken. I’m glad I wound up being handsome, though this body isn’t as comfortable as I expected. I figured that doing housework, cleaning things, getting into tight spaces, would be easier without any boobs or ass getting in the way. But after cleaning this place top to bottom like this, that’s not really the case. Everything just feels a bit stiffer and bigger hands just make some things harder. Honestly, kind of a let down.”
Ken: “Hmm… interesting, though I think I can see why. When I was Kathy, it was easier to get comfortable in tighter spaces, easier to type, and while I can’t say much as to cleaning, just moving my hand, I think I see your point. Still, I want to commemorate this occasion. Elly, be a dear and take a photo of me and my lads!”
Ken then wrapped his arms around Max and Bern’s shoulders, locking them into a hug. Max and Bern looked at each other briefly before shrugging and going along with this, smiling at Elly as she pulled out her phone, rapidly snapping a few pictures.
Elly: “Alright, I think I have some good ones.”
Ken’s phone then buzzed as Elly sent him one of the pictures, showing him, Bern, and Max yucking it up in front of the camera.
Max: “Hey Dad, do you want me to stay as a boy for the day or something or…”
Ken: “Hmm? No, no. Go back to normal if you want. I want to test something.”
Not wasting much time, Bern grabbed her VD 2.0 and turned her and Max back to their normal forms. The moment they turned back, the image on Ken’s phone unceremoniously changed, with Max becoming Maxxie while Bern became Babs. It was one thing to see it in person, yet it was another matter entirely to see it happen with something digital.
Ken: “Hahaha! No matter how many times I’ve seen this happen, I never get sick of it!”
Raiyne(Terra): “Um, I don’t mean to ruin your fun, Dad, but shouldn’t we be having breakfast now? The pancakes and bacon aren’t going to get any warmer.”
Ken: “Would you believe that I nearly forgot about that?”
With a chuckle, Ken and his family sat down and proceeded to enjoy the typical hearty American breakfast Babs prepared for them. Fruit, pancakes, bacon, eggs. It was nothing too special, yet it was precisely what Ken and Elly wanted after spending time in Asia. Something familiar and filling. Though, the true highlight was the coffee. Sure, they could get good coffee around the world, yet there was something about knowing exactly how a cup of coffee would taste before taking a sip. And with Babs at the helm, they knew it would be the warm kick in the ass they needed to start their day.
They made idle banter as they ate, discussing the past weeks of their lives, and the primary topic in the air was, of course, the new TransSex function. Ken and Elly went on a tangent about how they used it throughout the week, mixing and matching bodies every day, and sharing the extent of their findings. Such as how it changed decades of scanned documents they accessed through the Flare Industries portal and every business associate they met during their time in Japan referred to them by their TransSex names. Eventually, it just devolved into the two gushing about their TransSex forms, describing them in great detail… before finally being met with an obvious response.
Maxxie: “Quit talking about your sexy alternate bodies and show ’em, ya jerks!”
Ken: “Alright, alright. I know I sent you a picture, but a 2D image just isn’t the same as seeing it in person. And trust me when I say that my body has a lot of depth to appreciate!”
Elly smiled and rolled her eyes as Ken began to flaunt over his female form. With breakfast already eaten and Ken and Elly on their second cups of coffee, she stood up from her seat to grab the nearest VD 2.0, using it to transform herself and Ken one after another. Maxxie, Babs, and Raiyne(Terra) all looked on at these transformations with baited breath, and… they did not disappoint.
Ken became Katherine, or rather Kathy. He still retained the same dark brown complexion, yet rather than looking weary or worn, it remained clear and vibrant despite being on the sunny side of 50. His bald head became lathered with thick curly black hair that extended down to his shoulders, giving him a luxurious look, enhanced by the sprinkles of gray hair throughout. While shorter, he still stood taller than most men at 180 centimeters and the gut he was patting mere minutes ago had splintered and shrunk, with all of his fat going to the right places. Namely his fat ass, wide hips, and D-cup breasts.
Upon adopting this new form, Kathy stood with confidence, clearly knowing how to carry his curves and effortlessly flicking away the clumps of hair that fell upon his face. A light layer of makeup spawned across his visage, with every feature smoothed out and given the extra shimmer that comes from years of extra skin care. He looked younger, sexier, and more approachable. Not to say that he was an intimidating person before— he wasn’t— but his tangible smile and intangible aura were brighter, wider, and more chipper.
Meanwhile, Elly became Elias. Her light brown complexion and generally youthful look remained, yet her changes were… more severe. She shot up from a respectable 168 centimeters to 187 centimeters, skimming past the infamous 6 foot hurdle and just barely standing taller than her husband. …When he was a man. Though, that was largely due to the hair on her head, fashioned in a youthful yet professional style worn common amongst 30-somethings in Asia, and despite being over 40, she looked to be at least 5 years younger.
Now wearing a T-shirt and jeans, it was clear that not only did Elias lack the same gut that her husband carried, but she had a fairly toned body. Just from casually bending her arms, her biceps were plainly visible, and from how tight the shirt on her chest was, it was clear she didn’t have anything worth hiding. As for the face… it would look damn fine on the cover of a business magazine, enough said.
The three sitting at the table took a moment to let these forms sink in before Maxxie, unsurprisingly, made the first comment.
Maxxie: “Damn. My dad’s one hot-ass MILF and my mom’s a helluva DILF. …And Terra’s a little cutie… Verde is definitely screwing with me. No ifs, ands, or buts!”
Elias: “Never in my life did I ever imagine that someone would call me a DILF, let alone my own daughter.”
Kathy: “Same here, Jaanu… Though, I don’t really appreciate hearing my daughter say she wants to fuck me.”
Maxxie: “Huh? Oh, that’s not what it means these days. MILF just means hot lady above a certain age. Like… 35 or something. It doesn’t even mean mom. Everything it’s an abbreviation for is a bunch of antiquated liar slop! And while I’m pretty darn open… you guys are off-limits. Maxxie doesn’t swing that way! Even if you look like a bunch of hot strangers right now!”
Babs: “But what if someone else was in their TransSex bodies?”
Maxxie: “Uh… no comment.”
With the conversation shifting into incest, Elias took this opportunity to undo their TS transformations, causing Kathy to become Ken yet again and Elias to become Elly. Back to normal— or as normal as these two ever got— they continued to chip away at their breakfast, filling themselves up for the relaxing day ahead. All until their plates were left clean and Ken looked at Babs with a warm expression.
Ken: “No matter where I go, no matter what I eat, I still love your cooking the most, Babs.”
Babs: “Uh, Ken, I appreciate the compliment, but this was nothing special. I just fried up a few things and served them, and—”
Ken: “Nonsense. Even if it is second nature to you, it is still your technique, and everything you make carries with it a distinctive flavor. After however long I’m away, I can always come back home, come back to eat your food. It’s consistent, it’s pure, it’s… well, I’d say it’s like Mom’s cooking, but I’ve never so much as seen my mother turn on a stove!”
Elly: “He has a point, Babs. Wherever we go, no matter the country, the food is always hit or miss when traveling. So, for us, there is something deeply satisfying about a good home-cooked meal.”
Babs: “Thanks guys. I aim to please—”
Before Babs could finish that thought, Ken’s phone began ringing. He looked at his phone for a second and before he could say anything, he was already standing up.
Ken: “Hate to break up the heart-to-heart, but I need to take this call. Sorry guys!”
Ken then left the table as he shuffled into another room for more privacy.
Babs: “…And I appreciate how lax you guys still are.”
Babs then stood up and began gathering the dishes off the table, seeing as how Ken had already left.
Elly: “We strongly believe in treating the people who work for us how we would like to be treated, and I’d say it’s a pretty good deal for everyone involved.”
Maxxie: “Are you going to go on about your retention rates again?”
Elly: “As a business owner, I take pride in the fact that barely any of our employees have left for reasons related to our workplace. It speaks volumes about—”
Maxxie then got out of her seat.
Maxxie: “Sorry Mom! You know I have negative interest in any of the business end. I’ll be up in my room. Holler if you need me!”
Maxxie scurried out of the dining room and upstairs, while Babs made her way to the kitchen, rinsing off the dishes before loading them into the dishwasher. This meant that Elly and Raiyne(Terra) were alone. Terra put up a smile as she prepared to excuse herself, only to be stopped by Elly.
Elly: “Nene, sit closer to me. We haven’t talked in a week and I want to catch up with you.”
Raiyne(Terra) paused as she processed that request and proceeded to take the seat right next to Elly, only for Elly to grab the chair and pull her even closer.
Elly: “How are you holding up? I know it must be hard for you to see everybody going around, switching their sexes willy-nilly and doing all this gender play. Especially your sister.”
Raiyne(Terra): “Y-Yeah, it was weird seeing what Maxxie would look like if she was my brother. I guess I never thought about it too much, as I spent so long looking at Maxxie with a… sort of longing, that I never imagined what she would be like as a boy. It was one thing to see her switch bodies, as she always acted like herself, but it was another to see her become a new person.”
Elly: “I know you couldn’t really play around with this new ‘feature,’ so what have you been doing this past week? Have you… learned anything about yourself? Anything you want to share with me?”
When prompted with this open-ended question, with Elly wrapping an arm around her, Raiyne(Terra) felt her mind hitch and stagger. She tried to think back on everything Terra did this past week. The discovery of the TransSex function, the trip to the pool, the past two days that Raiyne has spent in this body. She needed something to pull from, and the thing that came to mind above all others… was the baseball game she played yesterday, which would raise so many questions. She tried to message Terra(Raiyne) about baseball last night, yet she had not seen any reply since. She spent a condensed five seconds ruminating on this subject… and came up with nothing to share.
Raiyne(Terra): “Sorry Mom. It’s hard to keep track of who I am and what I’m doing sometimes.”
Elly: “Really?“
Elly’s voice deepened and her grip tightened. The warm atmosphere of this conversation became chilly in an instant, leaving Raiyne(Terra) to shiver.
Elly: “Interesting. Can you at least tell me who you are then?”
Raiyne(Terra): “I… I’m Terra, obviously. I’m myself.”
Raiyne(Terra) pulled off her best warm smile, yet Elly looked down at her with bitter eyes.
Elly: “No, you’re not. And I would suggest telling me who exactly you are. Right now.”
The jig was up! Elly had the fierce eyes of a mother looking over someone who was threatening her child. It was a sight that Raiyne(Terra) had experienced before with some helicopter parents in the past… except this was on another level. The time for lies was dead and over.
Raiyne(Terra): “I… I’m Raiyne.”
Elly then stood up, towering over Raiyne(Terra) even more.
Elly: “Raiyne… why are you inside my daughter’s body this fine morning?”
Raiyne(Terra): “We had an agreement to swap bodies for a few days. Your return just so happened to—”
Elly sank her right hand into Raiyne(Terra)’s shoulders, like a falcon sinking its talons into its prey… just with less blood.
Elly: “Why did you think that was a good idea? You are a teacher. You know that a child’s mind is developing and know very well that there are certain things that minors— especially those fresh out of grade school— cannot agree to.”
Raiyne(Terra): “I… we did not—”
Elly: “Tell me, do you know what my daughter has been doing in your body? Does she have a guardian looking after her? It was one thing to have her spend a week in Caroline’s body, but she had us. She had Babs, Maxxie, and the real Caroline to look after her. Nobody has informed me that you were taking residence in my daughter’s body. Let alone tell me that it would last several days. Why is that, Raiyne? What is your plan?”
Raiyne(Terra): “…I’m sorry Eleanore, I shall return your daughter’s body immediately and will prepare an apology when I return to my body.”
The thinking talons of a mother loosened around Raiyne(Terra)’s shoulder, yet she did not feel any more safe or confident with her current position.
Elly: “I will accept that for a time being. Just know that, in the future, you shall not take the bodies of anyone in my family without my expressed permission. Is that clear?”
Raiyne(Terra): “Crystal, Eleanore.”
Elly looked at Raiyne(Terra)’s face with scornful eyes, yet those were only meant to mask the sorrow she felt, seeing her youngest daughter’s face be wracked with so much sadness. No matter who was behind that face, she hated seeing Terra like that.
Turning away to take a deep breath, Elly grabbed the VD 2.0 that was used throughout this morning and handed it to Raiyne(Terra). She stared down at her with the most intimidating expression in her repertoire and watched from behind as Raiyne(Terra) initiated the swap. A slight flinch struck Terra’s body, her head started darting around, and her hands patted her body to confirm its reality. Confusion painted her cute little face, and it only got worse when Elly hugged her from behind.
Elly: “Nene, I missed you so much!”
Terra flinched before calming as she realized who was hugging her.
Terra: “O-Oh, hey Mom. So, uh, where—”
Elly: “Are you alright? Did something bad happen to you the past few days? Is Raiyne’s body okay and—”
Terra: “Raiyne told you about our swap?”
Elly: “I made her tell me. You really shouldn’t give up your body like that, Terra. I know that adult life might seem exciting, but you cannot live it, you just cannot. It’s not because you’re immature or anything, you are very mature for your age, and I know you are one smart and tough cookie! It’s because you need to live more, experience more, and grow up before you can make that plunge. At the very least, you need to have someone be there for you, to help you out if you need it. I… I’m sorry. I’m momming out on you. I should let you explain everything first. Let’s go to the sitting room.”
Grabbing her hand, Elly escorted Terra to the sitting room, where they sat next to each other on one of the several couches. While Elly was as concerned as she could be, Terra just looked embarrassed, like she was in trouble for taking two desserts instead of one.
Terra: “We only swapped bodies for two days, really. Raiyne said she wanted to take some time away from herself, and wanted to be me. I didn’t really ask why. I just thought it would be a neat opportunity to be an adult and… she seemed like she really wanted it, so I figured it was fine. I trusted her, she is a teacher after all, and I know that Verde could’ve helped me out if I needed it.”
Elly: “…That is true. I just wish you hadn’t kept it a secret like that. Maxxie and Babs seemed to think she was you and—”
Terra: “That was part of the idea. That nobody would know so we could ‘immerse’ ourselves like this. I thought it’d be fun. I would get to really make use of all the life skills Babs had been teaching me over the past week, and I would get to see what it is like… living on my own. I’ve always had Babs and Maxxie around. But when I was Raiyne, I had to go to the grocery store, make my own food, do the dishes, and do everything on my own. It was pretty fun.”
Elly: “…So, nothing bad happened?”
Right then and there, Terra had to make a choice. She could lie directly to her mother’s face… or she could throw two other adults under the bus. She knew Maxxie would go for the former option, yet… she chose the later. Terra explained her recollection of events of yesterday. From getting a call from Dia, getting picked up by him and Pas, going to the beach, going to the jazz club, and perilously driving home after realizing that, somehow, she had the driving skills of a mature adult. All before explaining how she spent the morning enjoying some coffee and toast while reading The Count of Monte Cristo.
Terra: “I was surprised I could read it, though I did not get very far. I think I was about 70 pages—”
Elly: “Terra, why on EARTH didn’t you call someone for help last night? I don’t care if you realized you knew how to drive, you should not be in a situation like that! I know you didn’t have a VD 2.0 with you, but you had a phone! You could have called Babs and she would have helped. She is always there for you, that’s her job! Oh Nene, don’t you ever do something like that ever again!”
Elly hugged her daughter, on the brink of tears, while Terra just looked on at her with sad puppy dog eyes. They remained like that for a few moments, with Elly rubbing Terra’s long straight hair, before she stood up, grabbing her phone, and telling Terra she had to make an important phone call. She shut the door to the nearest room and called Verde. She waited for her to answer, only to be met with the voice of Abigale.
Abigale: “Good morning Elly. Can I help you with anything?”
Elly: “Yes. Are you aware of the swap arrangement of my daughter and Raiyne Underwood?”
Abigale: “Might I ask which daughter you are referring to?”
Elly: “Sorry, force of habit. Terra. She switched bodies with Raiyne for two days without any approval from her guardians.”
Abigale: “Yes, I see that the two did swap per the logs. Unfortunately, Verde has implemented a laissez faire attitude to any sort of monitoring of these logs. As a member of the Swap Posse, Terra has unrestricted access to the VD 2.0 and our system is designed in such a way that we cannot restrict access to any user. It is a known limitation in our system, and there is no way to address it without removing Terra from the group. As her guardian, we will respect your wishes, but we insist that you allow her to participate. Otherwise, she would feel neglected and rejected from what is a life-changing experience.”
Elly: “You… For Gods, you sure don’t seem benevolent.”
Abigale: “We simply choose not to be, Elly.”
Elly: “Then… Could you at least do something about Raiyne? She should be given some sort of punishment or penalty or… something to make sure she learns from her mistake and never does something like this again!”
Abigale: “Raiyne is on our radar as a potential problem member of the Swap Posse and, rest assured, we have every intention of addressing this soon. Thank you for bringing this information to our attention. We will keep this in mind when deciding the correct course of action.”
Elly: “…Is that it?”
Abigale: “Elly, we could technically rewrite Raiyne’s brain if we were so inclined, yet such actions are against our principles. Raiyne is currently dealing with numerous latent issues, and I am determined to help Raiyne come to terms with them, and their broader identity. I request that you permit me some time to formulate an action plan.”
Elly: “…Alright.”
Elly then ended the phone call, looked out the nearest window and sighed.
Elly: “I knew this would be the strangest Father’s Day of my life, just not like this.”
Little did Elly know, the strangeness of this ever-special day had only just begun…
Part 3: Father’s Day – Xing Side
Date: Sunday, June 21, 2015
Time: 12:45
Location: The Xing Residence
Natasha was always a frugal shopper and, despite having lived in America for over 20 years, she still often defaulted to making food reminiscent of what she made and ate in her home country. Nazz though? Nazz was eager to try something new. Despite being a dude, he still understood the utilitarian power of cooking, and with a recipe app on his phone, he decided to get fancy this Sunday!
A family-sized quiche, a porchetta, garlic spaghetti, a casserole chock full of clearance items from the local grocery, in addition to a tray of roasted vegetables and well-seasoned chicken tenders. The tiny kitchen of the household was full of food. The fridge was stuffed with meals prepared in advance. The cabinets were stripped bare of plastic and glass containers. And located at the tiny end table at one end of the kitchen, Zoe and Nazz sat, enjoying the fruits of… Nazz’s labor.
Zoe: “You know I would have helped if you asked me.”
Nazz: “Yeah, I do know. And you know I’m not some old broad anymore. I’ve got energy for days, and I wanted to see how well I could cook this body. And cooking is a fuckin’ cinch! I always hated following new recipes, but with this virile brain of mine, things just make sense faster and easier!”
Zoe: “I suppose that is true. I just feel as if I’m not helping out around the house as much as I did before.”
Nazz: “Zoe, you helped me because I was a single mom. I needed help. I was exhausted and depressed. And I am immensely grateful for everything you did for me the past… eighteen years. Just keep that in mind, because I can do way more than I did before, so let me make it up to you. No grade schooler should’ve needed to vacuum the house and chop vegetables on Sundays. Besides… even though I’m your brother now, I still have a motherly instinct to protect and take care of you.”
Zoe: “Wow, you are… quite honest about yourself today. Did something happen with Haruki?”
Nazz: “Yeah, lots of things. Though, I think I realized what it means to be a young American. It means doing what you want, without shame. Without embarrassment. Without caring about what’s for children and what’s for adults. It’s about enjoying the moment and enjoying what comes with it. Fuck the rules, fuck the structure, so long as you’re having a good time, that’s what matters! And you know what? I liked cooking. I always wanted to do more, I was just too afraid to do it. And now that I’m not a pussy-ass bitch anymore, I did it. This roast? This spaghetti? Yeah, it cost more than making fuckin’ borscht, but you know what?”
Nazz paused to stab a slice of the porchetta with a fork, stuffing it into his face as he ripped off a bite of it, like a hungry wolf.
Nazz: “It’s fuckin’ delicious!“
Zoe paused as he took in this display and, a full three seconds later, he started laughing his ass off.
Zoe: “Bahahahaha!!! This is my life… This is my life now! And you… I’m stuck with you!”
Nazz: “Y-Yeah… are you okay, or—”
Zoe reached across the table to grab Nazz’s hand, clenching it tightly, as if he was trying to instigate an arm wrestling competition.
Zoe: “I get. I finally get it. When you were like this… I was confused. I did not understand why you would go from being so rigid, so proper, so traditional… to being none of those things.”
Nazz: “I was like that because I was scared. I lived for 30 years and had nothing at that point. I eventually found a husband, had a child, and, by the time I was 40, he was dead and I was struggling to pay the mortgage, to pay for groceries. As the stress built on me, my body went to shit, and I wanted—”
Zoe: “An escape. To get a chance to try over. And you did not want to make the same mistakes. You… did not just hate your body—”
Nazz: “I hated myself, and now that self is dead and buried. I am my own man though, and I fuckin’ love myself. Now… I just hope you can accept me, Zoe. I still love you. And I hope that one day, you can call me—”
Zoe: “Brother. I feel like we are opposites in a lot of ways, but… the more I look at you, the more I talk to you… the easier it is to see you as my brother. Similar to the person I could have been if I grew up indulged, liberated to break the mold.”
Nazz: “Instead, I raised you to be a tight-ass version of your Dad and… I just realized it’s Father’s Day. FUCK! No wonder meat was so cheap…”
Nazz’s cheery disposition grew bitter as he was faced with that fact, and Zoe felt the same way. They had reached a new beginning. Natasha had been reborn as Nazz. And their lives were looking to be better than before, but… the tall man in the family photo in their living room was still gone. Liang Xing. His resemblance to Zoe was unmistakable. He was a tall, handsome, and well put together Chinese man with slick black hair, light brown eyes, and a vibrant smile.
It had been 13 years. Though, no matter how much time passes… most don’t ever forget their father. They don’t forget the person they married. These memories ran deep and, with their nerves already open and raw, they came pouring out.
The atmosphere sank like an iron ball thrown into a trench, growing darker and darker with every passing moment… until the tension was broken with the chime of the doorbell. Zoe went to answer it, only for Nazz to spring out of his seat, walking over to the door with a bitter expression on his handsome visage. He opened it, revealing a familiar face from behind the screen door.
It was Urabe, dressed in a casual navy blue dress with white accents that fit well on her thin frame. She had a smile on her face, a familiar tablet in one hand, and a small box in the other.
Urabe: “Good afternoon, Nazz. How’s the new life treating you?”
Nazz did not open the door to invite her in. Instead, he just glared at her.
Nazz: “…It’s going great. Why do you ask? Are you here for some sort of status report? If so, could you wait until we’re done with lunch?”
Urabe: “It’s meant to be a surprise. Though, if you’re still eating lunch, I can just go for a walk. It’s a nice day anyway. I’ll see ya in ten-ish minutes!”
Without waiting for a response, Urabe walked away, leaving Nazz staring out from his screen door window.
Nazz: “Why are these three women so… enigmatic?”
With a huff, Nazz joined Zoe, and the two finished their lunch before tidying up the kitchen. Most of the cleaning had already been done, though there were enough odds and ends to keep them busy until their doorbell rang yet again.
Urabe quickly made her way into the living room, sliding off her shoes before sitting on the sofa, her eyes glued on her tablet. Seeing as how she was in the middle, Zoe and Nazz sat on both sides of her, both plenty curious as to what this ‘surprise’ she mentioned was. They hoped she would be more direct, yet she remained silent, her hand dancing across the screen, until Nazz finally nudged her.
Nazz: “…So, about that surprise. Can you tell us what it is? Give us a hint or something?”
Urabe: “You probably talked about him earlier today.”
Zoe: “Him?”
Rather than reply with words, Urabe just pointed at the photo of Zoe, Liang, and Natasha in the room.
Urabe: “It is Father’s Day after all, and you have undergone some significant changes already. So, we figured, why not add some more? Why not reunite you two with a man you have not seen in over a decade?”
Nazz: “…Urabe, are you saying you can revive Liang?”
Urabe: “I tried to not outright say it, but yeah. I’m a God, I can do anything.”
Zoe: “You… are you serious? You… can bring my father back to life?”
Urabe: “Yep. I saw you two gushing over Liang after I introduced Nazar to the world, so I talked about it with Verde and Abigale, and we all unanimously agreed. I could have done it sooner, except I wanted to give Nazz a few days to adapt to the world, enjoy his life, before doing this. I also considered waiting another week or two, yet Abigale insisted that I do this on Father’s Day.”
Urabe spoke calmly, like this was something benign and routine, while for Zoe and Nazz… both were at the cusp of tears as they listened to her words. Their emotions swelled and billowed until… it was too much. Tears exploded from their faces and their arms wrapped around Urabe. They cried out words of thanks to her, unable to contain or control themselves as they, without hesitation, accepted the truthfulness of her words. Urabe wore a small smile as they hugged her, still using her mostly free hand to tap away at her tablet as it rapidly flashed from screen to screen.
Urabe: “I appreciate your affection, though I need both arms for the next part.”
While Urabe undoubtedly could have shoved Zoe and Nazz away, they graciously let go of her as she raised up her left arm. The skin surrounding her arm then segmented and separated, revealing the intricate machinery that lurked between her humanoid shell. Its complexity and design were well beyond anything Nazz and Zoe could even hope to understand as a pair of 21st century boys, yet even they felt that something was odd with the interior of Urabe’s bicep. Because it contained what looked to be an… egg. As in a plain white chicken egg. Its shape, size, and even texture looked to be an exact match, and right when the two looked at this oddity, Urabe grabbed it, sealing up her arm within a second.
Nazz: “An… egg?”
Urabe: “If I was permitted to use my full powers in this world, I could merely snap my fingers and cause Liang to appear. But, per Verde’s infallible design, this is the easiest way for me to create a new lifeform in this Scenario.”
Nazz: “…I swear, if you revive Liang as a chicken, I will tear you into scrap and throw you into a fucking volcano!”
Urabe: “Cool your shit, hothead. It just looks like a chicken egg, but Liang will be exactly as you remember him. …Barring a few minor improvements. Palmer-tier immune system. Optimized hormonal distribution. Nullified risk of hereditary health issues. The standard package that you already have.”
Zoe: “…What are you talking about? We were never briefed on this!”
Urabe: “…Shit, we never did explain that. It should be in the digital manual for the VD 2.0. Don’t worry about it, it just means you will live longer and suffer fewer health issues. Let me just do a few more things to check this catalyst, make sure that the genetics match to the desired degree, and… the growth period should be starting right about now.”
Urabe placed the egg on the carpeted floor of the living room and, a few seconds later, it moved. Just a small wiggle, yet it was enough to capture the undivided attention of the two men. They lowered themselves to get a closer look, watching it bob back and forward before… growing. The egg pulsated, growing at least 20% larger, and from this initial spurt, it only continued to grow with each passing second. From twice its size, to five times, and before a minute passed, it was twenty times its starting size!
Nazz: “Urabe, you pulled some freaky shit on June 17th… but what the fuck is this?
Urabe: “It is the rebirth of a man taken too soon
Zoe: “Is… is my Dad going to hatch from this thing?”
Urabe: “Yeah? What, did you think that the egg would start growing arms and legs?”
Nazz and Zoe then flinched as they heard a muffled grunt from the growing egg before them. It was already the size of a small child locked in a fetal position, and it wasn’t done growing. As it neared its apex, it started shaking, tossing and teetering, to the point that Nazz and Zoe scampered to both sides of it, preparing to grab it if it were to start rolling. Their eyes darted between themselves and the egg, sweat pouring down their faces and their hearts racing as they waited for this surreality to end. All while Urabe… just sat down and smiled, clearly enjoying the panic and absurdity playing out before her.
Urabe: “And with that… I think this egg is about… ready to… hatch!”
As Urabe declared that, the giant human-sized egg began to crack open. The shell was punctured and from the fragmented hole emerged a hand. It was a large hand, a pale hand, unmistakably the hand of an adult man, and while neither Nazz nor Zoe distinctly remembered Liang’s hand… it was close enough to their memory for them to freeze.
The hand then stretched out past the shell, revealing an arm covered in a white long-sleeved shirt with a cuff. Free and swatting about in the air, the arm eventually found its way to the shell, where it revved up a hearty smack, causing more of the egg to shatter into fragments. From these fragments, a second arm emerged, and the two continued to tear away at their shelly prison, breaking it into pieces until, finally, he emerged.
Liang Xing. His black hair was short, clean, and professional. His face was handsome, though not particularly remarkable. His nose was free from any glasses, leaving his light brown eyes unimpeded.
He stepped out of the shell at his earliest opportunity, planting his loafers onto the carpet and nearly falling. He grabbed onto the nearest furnishing for support and slowly looked over his surroundings before finally speaking.
Liang: “I’m… I’m home?”
Liang’s voice was smooth, not quite as deep as Zoe’s, yet there was a certain familial similarity in how they spoke. He wiped the sweat off his forehead as he confirmed this, his breathing heavy, and before too long, he turned around to look at the other three people in his living room. A tall blonde man dressed casually looking at him with amazement. An Asian woman sitting on his couch in a light summer dress, smiling as she stared at him with her bright blue eyes. And finally… a tall young man with glasses who looked just like…
Liang: “Zoe? Is that you?”
He knew that was a crazy thing to say. The last time he saw Zoe, he was barely up to his waist. He was just a 5-year-old boy. Yet, the more he looked at the young man before him… the more undeniable the resemblance became.
Liang: “It… it is you. H-How? What happened? Last thing I remember, I was… I was just driving to work and now—”
Urabe: “Excuse me sir, but if you have any questions, I would be more than happy to answer them. Please, take a seat.”
With prim and proper candor, Urabe escorted Liang to the couch, where he was forced to confront the giant half-broken egg shell that he, somehow, ignored up until now.
Liang: “I… I hatched from an egg? What… What the hell is going on here?”
Urabe: “I’ll answer every question you have, but first, let me ask you a question. What is today’s date?”
Liang: “…Well, last I checked, it was April 8, 2002. But considering—”
Urabe: “Do you remember anything that happened earlier today?”
Liang: “It wasn’t anything special. I just woke up, ate breakfast, said goodbye to Natasha and Zoe, got in my car to drive to work, and then… nothing. I just woke up here and… hatched out of a damn egg!”
Urabe: “Well, the reason for that is simple. On April 8, 2002, you died, and that egg was merely our way of resurrecting you.”
Liang: “Resurrect— what the hell are you talking about?”
Urabe: “You’re in the future, Mr. Xing. June 21, 2015. Over 13 years since your death. Your son is now a grown man, and—”
Liang: “Hold up, hold up! Who are you, and why should I believe anything you have to say? I’m not a bigshot or anything, but I know Zeta Realty’s got some enemies and—”
Urabe: “What kind of proof do you want? Look around you! You know this house, and from the advanced technology alone, that should convince you that we are in the future.”
Urabe turned on the 32 inch HD television that sat in the living room, a recent purchase by Nazz, replacing the old CRT they had until a few days ago. A news broadcast played. Its presentation was similar in composition to the kind Liang watched 13 years ago, but slicker and filmed at a remarkably higher resolution. Urabe shoved her tablet into his face, using her fingers to navigate the screens with precision as she opened app after app in an attempt to dazzle him with modern technology. She even began to hold out her arm to reveal her robotic nature… before realizing that would only confuse the poor man she was trying to convince.
Liang looked at these things, his face wavering between awe and confusion, before returning to Zoe. He stared into his face, looking for flaws or imperfections, even though the moment he saw Zoe’s hazel eyes, he knew who he was, without a shadow of a doubt. He tried to find some reason, some justification for why he was seeing these things, having this evidence be presented, so plainly, before him. However… he couldn’t find it.
Liang shut his eyes, took a deep breath… and unleashed a mighty billowing laugh, hands on his stomach as he shot from confusion to awe into acceptance.
Liang: “Bahahahaha! I don’t want to believe it, but what other option is there? To insist that this is all some ploy to trick me? Oh, no, no, no. I think that this is more believable. That I died and came back to life 13 years later by hatching out of a fucking egg! Bahahahaha!”
As Liang relished in this absurdity, he rose from the couch and locked his son in a bear hug.
Liang: “Oh Zoe! Look at you! You’re not even a kid anymore. You’ve gone and become a man without me. And just from a look at you, I can tell you’re a good man!”
Zoe wanted to speak, but hearing his father say such a high compliment with such earnestness and conviction… was too much for him. His hardened conviction broke, and he began to cry yet again, rubbing his face into Liang’s shoulders.
Zoe: “DAD! I missed you so much. I… [I felt like I never got to know you, and—]”
Liang: “WHAT?! Zoe, did you… did you—”
Zoe: “[Yes Dad. You started teaching me Mandarin, and after you left, I kept learning. I just wanted to keep a part of you with me, so I—]”
Liang only tightened his hug in response. It was so strong it hurt, but Zoe could take it.
Liang: “Bahahahaha! Oh, my boy! You make your dad proud. What’s next? You’re gonna tell me that those glasses aren’t just a fashion statement? That you’re a regular old brainiac?”
Zoe: “W-Well, I did get a 4.0 throughout all years of high school—”
Liang: “Of course you did! Natasha always was a stickler for those sorta things and… hold on, where is she? She…”
Zoe: “She’s still alive. She… She’s just different than before and—”
As Zoe began to formulate the best way to reveal this latest bombshell of news to his father, Nazz planted a hand on Zoe’s shoulder. With a sigh of mixed emotions, Zoe slowly broke off from his hug with Liang as he let Nazz take the spotlight.
Nazz: “It’s good to see that you’re the same chipper old Lee I knew and loved.”
Liang: “Lee? Are you from… No, you’re too young to have known me at Zeta Realty. Who are you? …And why are you here? Are you Zoe’s… friend? Lover?”
As Liang made this wild guess, Nazz couldn’t help but break off into laughter.
Nazz: “Ahahahahaha!”
Zoe: “D-Dad!”
Liang: “What? It has been 13 years and I’m sure society has gotten far more progressive, so I shouldn’t assume your sexuality.”
Zoe: “You just did!”
Liang: “…Oh! I guess it does work both ways! Bahahahaha!”
Nazz: “No, no, I’m not Zoe’s lover. He’s not… He’s straight.”
Liang: “Then, who are you?”
Nazz: “My name’s Nazar Nemirovsky, though I like to go by Nazz.”
Liang: “Nazz, like the rock band?”
Zoe: “The what?”
Liang: “Wait, Nemirovsky? Are you… Natasha’s nephew or something? Did she need to go back to Ukraine or—”
Nazz: “That’s the cover story, but as they say… truth is stranger than fiction. Take a seat. And Zoe… grab a VD 2.0.”
Part 4: Father’s Day – The 21st Member of the Swap Posse
Date: Sunday, June 21, 2015
Time: 13:54
Location: The Xing Residence
After over an hour of talking, the three members of the Xing family were sitting throughout the living room, their bodies scrambled and smiles on their faces. Liang was lounging in Zoey’s body, Zoe was in Nazz’s, and Nazz was in Liang’s. Though, with a VD 2.0 idly sitting in Nazz(Liang)’s hands, who knew how long that would last.
Liang(Zoey): “If I were a man of God, I would question if I stumbled into a new breed of Hell. Instead, I think this might be the best day of my life.”
Nazz(Liang): “Why? ‘Cos you always wanted to be in a female version of your son’s body?”
Liang(Zoey): “Pfft! No. Honestly, all this body swapper stuff is just icing on the cake. More than anything, I’m just glad that I’m back, that I’m alive, and breathing. Right after that, I’m glad you two are happy. That Zoe is such a good man— though, I guess, per reality, he is a woman now, even though I’m him—”
Zoe(Nazz): “Don’t think about it too much, Dad.”
Liang(Zoey): “Good call! I guess this VD thing is number three on my list because… I mean just look at this shit!”
With a hop, Liang(Zoey) left the comfort of his chair, turned around, and did a backflip, effortlessly spinning in the air before landing squarely on his feet. Though, he did come within an inch of smacking a toe into the ceiling with how bloody tall he was.
Liang(Zoey): “And look at these!”
Liang(Zoey) then proceeded to feel up his boobs. Even with a bra and buttoned shirt blocking them, he could still feel them squish within his hands, and he wore the smile of a class-A juvenile pervert as he fondled them up.
Nazz(Liang): “Uh, remember, those are your kid’s titties!”
Liang(Zoey): “Oh… sorry about that, Zoey!
Trying to act cute, Liang(Zoey) put on a silly smile in hopes of curbing things over with Zoe(Nazz).
Zoe(Nazz): “Even though my body is Zoey, I’m still Zoe. It’s a peculiar workaround, I know, though that’s what we decided on. …Also, I don’t particularly care if you feel up ‘my’ boobs like that. It’s nothing next to what Nazz did.”
Nazz(Liang): “Did you really need to tell him that?”
Liang(Zoey): “That part was hard to swallow, I’ll admit it, but… I could see you doing that Natasha.”
Nazz(Liang): “One, it’s Nazz now. Or Nazar, but I’ve really taken to just being Nazz. Two, the fuck does that mean, Lee?”
Liang(Zoey): “You were always a… fragile woman. When you consider a decade of being alone, working to maintain a household, raising a child, growing old, getting all those aches and pains— it makes sense for you… Nazz.”
Nazz(Liang) stared daggers at his recently reincarnated husband… before relenting with a sigh.
Nazz(Liang): “I suppose you did know me better than anyone else. Maybe even myself.”
Liang(Zoey): “Now, what I’m still trying to piece together is… why didn’t you just become a young woman? If you got to change how you looked… couldn’t you just become a hotter version of yourself?”
Nazz(Liang): “I wanted to try my chance at life again, and I wanted to do it as a man. If you were to suddenly enter your twenties again, would you rather do it as a man or as a woman?”
Liang(Zoey): “Hmm… yeah, I could see some people being 50/50 on that. Not that they’d admit it. Though, that doesn’t explain why you would become a man… and then bring your husband back to life four days later.”
Nazz(Liang): “The problem is that you’re assuming I planned for any of this. I didn’t know you were going to be revived today until… two hours ago! That’s why I was so shocked when you came out of that egg that—”
Turning his head to the side, Nazz(Liang) looked to see where they moved the egg shell remnants, only to see nothing in its place.
Nazz(Liang): “Where the fuck did it go?!”
Liang(Zoey): “Maybe it grew some legs and walked away. It wouldn’t be the first time I saw an egg do that!”
Nazz(Liang): “Don’t you dare talk about those nightmare ducks again!”
Liang(Zoey): “…Maybe I should. I doubt you ever told Zoe the balut story, did you now?”
Despite having only been in this body for a short time, Liang(Zoey) had managed to make a perfect shit-eating grin with his borrowed face. Nazz(Liang), in response, looked at him with abject disapproval.
Liang(Zoey): “Bahahahaha! No matter the body, you still manage to be so cute, Natash— Nazz.”
In response to this injustice, Nazz(Liang) grabbed the VD 2.0 and undid all of the body swaps, while not bothering to turn Zoe’s body back to normal, meaning he was still Zoey for the time being.
Liang: “Huh. You know, I really feel the whole age thing going back to this body. Compared to both of yours, I must feel like some old fart!”
Nazz: “Ha! Compared to my old body, yours is a fuckin’ palace.”
Liang: “Wow. You must’ve really let yourself go, Nazz!”
Nazz: “I tried everything I could, and it didn’t work. Stress and shitty genes fucked me over, but now? I’ve got no stress and great genes!
Liang: “Ha! …So, what are we now? You’re ‘technically’ Natasha’s son, so we are not related by blood.”
Nazz: “Uh… I have not actually thought about that— at all.”
Liang: “Really? You sure you weren’t planning on making me 20 years younger and turning me into your wife?”
Nazz: “…If you wanna do that—”
Liang: “No, no. I never harbored any… meaningful fascination about being a woman. And I barely know how these newfangled smartphones work. Can you imagine how lost I’d be as a technologically illiterate twenty-something girl?”
Zoe: “If you were to do that… I think something inside me would break. It is surreal enough seeing my mother become Nazz and you walking around but—”
Liang: “Cool it, my boy! I’ll be happy to do all this body swap and transformation stuff you have going on — I’d be a fool if I didn’t— but I’m happy being myself, and don’t want to restart my life as a woman… Unless I need to. Is Zeta Realty even around these days?”
Nazz: “They’re still around, but do you expect to just waltz back in, sit at your desk, and get back to work like nothing happened?”
Liang: “A man can dream, can’t he?”
Nazz: “If you’re so eager to get back to work, then work for me. I’m a project manager at Flare Industries— A $50 million company. And while everything has gotten easier after becoming Nazz, I could always use someone I could trust completely.”
Liang: “Ha! I haven’t worked in 13 years and you’re offering me a job offer just like that? Can you even do that without—”
Nazz: “The owners are part of our crew, and I know they’ll love ya. You and Ken would hit it off, guaranteed.”
Liang: “Won’t I at least need a resume… and an ID? I was still on Windows 98. Windows ME, or XP, or whatever crap they were on just didn’t seem to make things better. And Bryce always threw a fit if we tried to get any sort of ‘unnecessary’ computer upgrades. …Wait, do people even use Windows? Did Apple make a comeback?”
Nazz: “Uh… probably to the resume, yes to the ID, and Apple won in everything but desktops. I don’t think I remember seeing a single Windows laptop at Loyola…”
Zoe: “Uh, Dad, you just came back to life. Should work really be your top priority right now or—”
Liang: “Zoe, your mother might have not made this clear. I’m a regular old workhorse! I could try to read up on everything that happened, but I’d rather learn things hands on, on the job.”
Zoe: “…Maybe you should worry about where you will sleep, and where you will get clothes. Nazz took over your bedroom, and we got rid of most of your belongings. I don’t know if you want to sleep with Nazz or—”
Liang: “Ha! Sorry, my mind just went into the gutter. While I like to think of myself as a pretty open fellow… I’m not fucking a man on the same day I came back to life!”
Nazz: “If it would help, I’d let you stick it up my ass!”
Liang and Nazz shared in a jaunty laugh while Zoe blankly stared at the two of them. He couldn’t remember if this was their usual dynamic. They seemed to fall into it so naturally he started to doubt his hazy memories… while struggling to believe that his mother could have ever been so jovial and jokey given how miserable she became.
As the two continued yucking it up, Zoe felt a hand fall on his shoulder and looked up to see Urabe, wearing a conflicted smile.
Zoe: “Urabe? Where have you been? I thought you left while we weren’t looking.”
Urabe: “I was just giving you guys some time to talk, get through the awkward introductions, while I was getting things ready for Liang.”
Liang: “Things? What kind of things?”
Urabe: “Your bedroom in the basement.”
Nazz: “Basement? The basement’s unfinished! We were going to renovate it in the summer of 2002, but… shit happened.”
Urabe: “Well, I finished it and furnished it.”
Zoe: “Just now? I went down there for laundry this morning and I didn’t see—”
Urabe: “Need I remind you guys that I’m a robot capable of feats that would blow your minds?”
Liang: “…Wait, you’re a robot? Just how advanced have things become over the past 13 years?!”
Nazz: “She’s from another dimension or some shit, don’t worry about it or else your head will explode.”
Urabe: “He’s figuratively correct. Just roll with it and you’ll get used to it eventually. Though, I could upload synthetic memories of the explanation and catch you up to speed—”
Zoe: “Please don’t mess with my dad’s mind anymore than you have to.”
Urabe: “Fair enough. Just follow me downstairs and I’ll show you what I managed to put together. It would have taken me two seconds under better circumstances but, again, I’m working with limited powers.”
From there, Urabe led the merry band of four into the basement, flicking on the light as they were greeted with a fully renovated basement. With tile floors, wood panel walls, a drop ceiling, a fully furnished bedroom complete with a king-sized bed, dresser, desk, computer chair, computer, and printer. It was a bit sparse and plain, yet it featured just about every amenity that one could ask for. Well, except for a slightly higher ceiling. It was only about two meters tall. Meaning this family of giants could walk without bumping their heads, just not raise their arms.
Nazz: “Is this the best you could’ve done with the ceiling?”
Urabe: “Yes. This house was made in the 1950s. People were shorter back then. And I don’t think you want me to try making your basement ceiling higher.”
Liang: “So, this is going to be my room from now on? …Yeah, I can deal with this. I’ve been in hotels way worse than this. And compared to my first apartment? This is like a palace.”
Urabe: “Your dresser is also full of clothes. Nothing special. Just dress shirts, slacks, T-shirts, jeans. I had to raid a big and tall shop since Kohl’s and Macy’s didn’t have shit that would fit you.”
Zoe: “Urabe… how did you prepare all of this in two hours?”
Urabe: “I bought everything in advance and after renovating things, I just had to bring them in.”
Liang: “Yeah, and… how did you do that? You could always hear the back door open in this place and I sure didn’t see the front—”
Rather than reply with a detailed explanation, Urabe placed her index and ring fingers together against her head and uttered a two word response.
Urabe: “Instant transmission.”
Nazz: “…Fuck it, she’s a God. …You aren’t going to bill us for all this, are you?”
Urabe: “We’re paying you $75 a day so you are free to do things other than work your day job. Why would I bill you for anything?”
Nazz: “I dunno. ‘Cos you felt like being a bitch?”
Urabe: “Oh ye of little faith. Doubting my generosity even when I am presenting it to you on a silver platter.”
As this conversation lingered, Liang turned on his computer and immediately began balking at the boot up screen.
Liang: “Windows 7? What the hell does that mean?”
Urabe: “I would’ve thrown you onto Windows 10 right away, but it’s not coming out for a few weeks and Microsoft’s OSs always take a year or two to get good.”
Liang: “Windows 10? And you put me on 7? Why am I three versions behind?”
Urabe: “Look, we have better things to do than bitch about Microsoft’s stupid decisions that Verde refuses to let me fix! Open up the box on your desk.”
In his scan of his new room, Liang failed to notice the small cardboard box right below his monitor. When Zoe and Nazz stared at it, their minds immediately went to the nondescript boxes that contained VD 2.0s. Yet, this box was nearly twice as large. Liang gave the box a firm shake before being met with no sound so, with a shrug, he opened up the flap, revealing a smorgasbord of valuable items.
There was a phone that looked just like Nazz’s, another iPhone 6 Plus, already in a sleek black case. Liang didn’t know how to use one of these newfangled touch screen phones, yet with this, he would have plenty of opportunities to learn. Next to it was another one of the purple GameBoy-like body swappers, a VD 2.0. He cautiously held it, feeling the weight in his hand and pressing the buttons before putting them both aside.
Next, he pulled out a leather wallet that looked just like the one he had back in 2002. Opening it, he quickly found $500 in cash, split across every type of bill, a Visa credit card, a bank debit card, and an Illinois driver’s license. He pulled out the driver’s license first, seeing that it had the same license number and, curiously, date of birth. Meaning he was, legally speaking, a 53-year-old man, despite physically and mentally only being 40.
Lastly, he pulled out a pair of papers and a checkbook so new you could literally smell it. The papers were bank statements, dated May 31st, for three accounts. A checking account with $3,000, a savings account with $50,000, and a Roth IRA account that was… far bigger than he remembered all of his retirement accounts being, while seeing over $60,000 in additional lifetime contributions.
Liang: “…You brought me back to live, renovated my basement, and gave me over $100,000? Okay, now this is starting to look like a dream!”
Urabe: “If this is a dream, it’s all one overly long and impossibly elaborate dream experienced by an abused 14-year-old who tried to end their life, yet was merely comatose.”
Liang: “…I feel like I’m missing a reference somewhere.”
Nazz: “It makes more sense than you’d think, and less than you’d hope.”
Liang: “Urabe, is there anything I can do to thank you for all—”
Urabe: “Use the VD 2.0 regularly, have fun with it, you’ll get a briefing on everything when you fall asleep tonight.”
Liang: “…You can talk to me in my dreams?”
Urabe: “I can do anything. And everything. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to inform the others about the 21st member entering the Swap Posse. I’ll let you three take care of the family stuff. But first, Liang, smile for the camera.”
Urabe pulled out her phone from the back of her head and pointed it at Liang. Surprised, he awkwardly smiled like he was getting his photo taken for a work ID and, with an audible click, his photo was taken.
Urabe: “Yeah, that’ll do. Call me if you need anything. Bye!”
Instead of using the stairs, like a normal person, Urabe placed two fingers against her forehead and vanished in an instant. Her instant transmission powers were very much real, which raised several questions. Such as… why was she riding a motorcycle on June 17th?
Rather than examine these questions, the three members of the ‘Xing’ family looked over themselves, left to determine this ‘family stuff’ on their own.
Liang: “So, Nazz… I asked this earlier, but what exactly is our relationship now? You’re 18 years younger than me physically, over 30 legally, so… are you my stepson or something?”
Nazz: “I guess so. I mean, I am both the same person and a completely different breed of dude, so it gets really iffy. Though, we really don’t need to put a word to it if nothing really fits. Because if something like this has ever happened… then the world’s a fuckuva lot more fucked up than I gave it credit for.”
Liang: “Ha! I like that answer. We won’t really know the specifics until we live through them. So, we may as well keep on living and see where we wind up.”
Nazz: “By the way, are you hungry? I made a bunch of stuff this morning.”
Liang: “Hmm… I guess I didn’t notice with all this excitement going on! Sure, it’s been 13 years since I had your home cooking! Oh! I just thought of something. Do you still have that tea I used to like, the extra bitter herbal—”
Nazz: “Yeah, I do. I get a box every now and then when I think of you and want to punish my tongue. …You want a cup to welcome you back?”
Liang: “Of course!”
Nazz: “Then let’s head on up. You can get all set up in your room later.”
Satisfied with these plans, Nazz and Liang walked up the stairs, while Zoe remained where he was, still looking at this room in a muted sense of awe.
Zoe: “You two go on without me. I… I need some time to think.”
Nazz: “Kay, Bro!”
Nazz shut the door behind him, leaving Zoe alone in this basement, walking barefoot against the cool tile before sitting on what was to become his father’s bed.
Zoe: “A few months ago, I thought I had my whole life planned. Get a summer job after high school, try interning at a place, start going to college, while trying to make some money on the side to help my mother. Then, after four years of dedication, I would get a job and… go on with the rest of my life, caring for my mother as she entered her twilight years. Now… my mother is gone, replaced by my new brother. And the father I barely remember… is back, and is just as happy-go-lucky as he seemed in those family videos. So… what is my life going to be? Now that… they don’t need me anymore.”
Zoe shifted from sitting to lying on his father’s bed, the sheet still smelling new, devoid of any person’s scent.
Zoe: “I guess, that means I can live for myself, do anything I want to do. I just… need to figure out what that is. Do I need to know? No. I’m young. I have time. It’s become a running gag… none of us know who we will be or what we will be like at the end of the summer. So, I guess I should just try to have fun. Be happy that my dad is back, that Nazz is so happy, and… try to be happy myself. Try to be myself, even if that means being someone new.”
Springing out of bed, Zoe walked out of the basement, entering the light of the kitchen and joining Nazz and Liang right as the kettle was brought to a boil. The little end table for three hadn’t felt so full in 13 years, and now… now this, this awkward, impossible, and overall ludicrous situation… was their new normal.
The Posse Logs: My Sensational Summer Vacation Diary
Jade: “Father’s Day was never really a happy day for me, as they meant I had to spend more time around Bryce. I have already voiced my utter contempt for the man to Verde already, and the less I need to think about or discuss him, the better. I will admit that it’s because of him that my mother and I are able to live in such comfort. We don’t need to worry about money and my mother no longer needs to work. However, that does not warrant the abuse he put my mother through. He is a cruel, awful man, and I’m glad that he is no longer part of my life. And that he does not know the truth about me or anything I’ve undergone. …I did not bother swapping with anyone today, as nearly everyone was busy with their families, and I didn’t want to take that away from them.”
Maxxie: “Lazy Sunday, bay-bee! I got pretty used to my folks being away for half a year growing up, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss them. I know I can be a wild card a lotta time and be off doing whatever with whoever, but I still like just chilling out with my folks. Terra’s been way more fun ever since she got ka-girl’d. Mom and Dad are even bigger flirts than they used to be, and way more playful, which I love to see! While Babs… is still Babs. She’s been rocking that cool aunty vibe since I was born, and hasn’t really needed to change. If getting ass fucked as a man didn’t change her, nothing will! But yeah, this was a super chill day. No swaps, just chilling in the pool eating burgers. It’s da lyfe I was born to live!”
Zoe: “…What is there to even say about today? I made strides with my relationship with Nazz. And while it will be a very long time before I get over the surreality of his… existence, I am still incredibly happy for him, and… view him as my brother. It was hard for me to get past that threshold and when I did… my father was brought back to life. There is a facet of me that is in disbelief over this, that refuses to accept that something this good could happen to me. Yet, I managed to spend over 8 hours with him today, and in that time, I got to see him. The real him. Not Natasha’s idealized version of him, not my own faint recollections of him. Him, as he was before he died, and… if he was alive, I doubt I would be the man I am today. At the very least, I would not be as much of a ‘stickler’ as he called me. This family dynamic is unlike anything I have ever experienced. It is strange, yet… I am confident that, in due time, I will learn to accept it. That I will learn to love them both.
Shiaka: “I just stayed home today though, after yesterday, that might be for the best. I kind of went out of control with Abigale’s body near the end… It was just a normal Sunday, like Dad requested. We did not go out, we did not do much but stay at home and ‘veg out.’ Dad didn’t have anything planned, so all we really did was have meals together, play a board game after dinner, and watch a movie before going to bed. Aside from that, I mostly just worked on a few programming projects I’ve been ignoring. And ever since I got Dad’s language knowledge, it’s been surprisingly easy. Aside from Dad’s freak out early in the morning, it almost felt like we went back in time to a month ago, and… it’s nice knowing that we can still be like that.”
Terra: “While I love my parents, there was something… deflating about going back to being myself. I felt like I was starting to get the hang of being an adult. I was excited to practice my inexplicable driving skills sometime today. And I wanted to head out to do some shopping, as Raiyne’s wardrobe is a bit… plain. Instead, Mom lectured me about how I made a mistake, that I needed permission to do something like that, and made me feel like… like a kid all day long. I know that I need to grow up before I can become an adult, that my youth is something special, and that there are certain things I simply cannot know. I’m a minor— a tween— and my brain isn’t done developing. …Though, neither is Maxxie’s, yet she can have sex with 30-somethings. Besides, if I feel like I ever missed out on my childhood then… it’s not like I couldn’t switch bodies with an 11-year-old in ten, twenty years. …I just want to be included. I don’t want to be part of a restricted group, all by myself.”
Vidkun: “I’m not close to my parents. They’re both executives who work long hours, leave early, and stay late. They say it’s because they are just that busy with work, but I know that’s a lot of shit. They were bickering back when Ron, my big brother, left for college, and when they’re together, they’re always 30 seconds away from popping off around each other. I’m sure that by the time I move out, they’ll start speedrunning the divorce process. But until then, I’ve gotten used to only occasionally seeing them at night, or on weekend mornings. I woke up to the sound of the two shouting at each other and just stayed in my room until they left. After that? Well, Tony and Gem were busy, so I just stayed home playing video games, trying to get used to my man hands. They’re not that much bigger, but it’s enough to trip me up. Not by much. …And I think that with enough practice I might actually prefer this.”
Tony: “You know, I’m still shocked that my parents treat me so much better now that I’m a guy! Normally my dad just likes to spend Father’s Day alone, doing his own shit, and not being bothered by me or Mom. But after breakfast, he asked me to help him with a project. Making a desk! He got a bunch of wood, taught me how to use the table saw, taught me how to varnish it, and after letting it stink up the joint for a while, we put it together and bam! We had a basic study desk that was exactly what Mom wanted for Mother’s Day. He tried getting some crap from the internet and building it for her, but… it broke a week later. But now, we built her something that will last. Made with real wood! And built using the bonds only possible through a father and son! …Wow, that came off more naturally than I expected.”
Gemma: “My, this was a most unexpectedly eccentric Father’s Day. I awakened back in my own body and merrily made about my day, enjoying breakfast with my parents. Yet, in my rush for nourishment, I failed to notice I was Gemma. Rather than change this though, I thought it would be a novel experience, observing the many manners my father treats Father’s Day without a son to spend time with. Alas, he took it as an opportunity to merely laze about, enjoying himself, and not pursuing responsibilities. Accordingly, I used this as an opportunity to aid my mother in the weekend cooking, helping her around the kitchen. She would ordinarily tell me to shoo, yet as a woman, she was receptive to my aid. She was strongly taught traditional gender roles by her mother and, misfortunately, applies them even to her lone child.”
Caroline: “I spent most of the day cooking with Jade, as I don’t know who will be me and who I will be next week. It was a simple thing, yet after being in Maxxie’s body yesterday, I felt that I needed something simple. Unfortunately, we had a bit of a snag when cooking, as we remembered what day it was, and… the unpleasantness that came with it. I am glad to have cut Bryce from my life. He hurt me— hurt us— too much for me to ever want to see him again. And if he were here… I would dread to think what he would do with a VD 2.0. With that power… he would turn to grand theft and murder within a matter of hours. I hope I can go the rest of my life without ever seeing him, but… while I do not miss him, I do miss having someone else in my life. I was hesitant about it for years, yet after having all of this casual sex… I think I might want to get a partner. Just someone I can confide in and be intimate with. I know it would never be something like what Ken and Elly have, but that’s the thought I kept going back to. Getting a partner. A shame that I don’t know how to meet people like that.”
Raiyne: “I had been so tall for so long that I cannot remember the last time someone intimidated me like that. I emailed Elly my apology within an hour after returning to my body and spent the rest of the day dreading what she had in mind for me. She is a rich and powerful woman, and I would not put anything past her. I did not go out for the rest of the day. All I did was try and pick together the pieces of whatever Terra had gotten up to the past two days, including seeing a few bowls of stew still resting in my fridge. It was just okay, but for an 11-year-old? I’m surprised she could cook something that complicated. At the least, it eased my stomach enough for me to focus on something for the rest of the day. …So I worked on my lesson plan for the next year. I knew it was too early, yet I had to distract myself with something.”
Babs: “Whenever Ken and Elly come around, I get busier. Two more mouths to feed, a bunch more clothes to wash, and a lotta requests to do this and that. I don’t really mind though. Ken and Elly might be rich with a capital R, I, C, and H, though that doesn’t mean they are stuck up. They’ve always been chill, grateful, saying please and thank you, and never took me for granted or treated me like a servant. I doubt many people with that much money would thank someone for getting them a coffee or making them a meal, but they’re one of the good ones. The only time they ever get mad is when, well, big money is on the line with work, and when something bad happens to Maxxie or Terra. Elly didn’t think I heard her little spiel… except I did, and I’m kicking myself for not seeing that. It’s Terra. I changed her first diaper! And Raiyne managed to impersonate her right under my nose? Either she’s a good actress… or I’m getting a bit too used to people acting like someone else nowadays.”
Kathy: “Today was my day, and I spent it my way. Lounging in my pool, eating some hot meat straight off the grill, breaking out one of our $200 bottles of wine, and most importantly of all, getting my day when it comes to bed. Back in Japan, we weren’t too keen on doing anything gay there— their constitution is still undergoing some reforms to get it in-line with the 21st century. I started with the male side, bringing out Elias to play and letting him fuck the tightest hole I’ve ever had. My ass! And let me tell you… it felt leagues better than doing anal as a woman. There’s so much more tension, so much more pressure, and when Elly got right in there, I could almost feel it tickling my prostate. At that very moment, I finally understood why some gay men are bottoms. Then, when I let little Kathy out to play with Elly, I finally got what all the hubbub was about lesbian sex. Ha! I can’t believe that’s how I spent my father’s day, but I don’t regret it. Not one bit!”
Elly: “I was so appalled at what Raiyne did to Terra. She is a teacher, she should know better and… I think people are forgetting just how young she is. I hate to over-mother her, as I know she is so strong and so mature. Yet even the most mature child cannot make her own decisions. I wish that I could be there for her more, as with Maxxie… I let her grow up on her own, and it seems like every time I went away, she grew so much. And Terra… was the same. I want to see my daughters grow up and be there to help them. Plus, of course, there are certain temptations with the VD 2.0 that I’d rather keep local. Going forward, our lives will need to change, and I have already talked to our assistant about this. We’re heading back to Asia in a week and will do some last minute travel, going to all the spots, before heading back home. Then, after that, we are going to shift to a new role. We won’t stop traveling all together… we’ll just try to limit it.”
Nazz: “A great new beginning has sprung. I was reborn, and before I could even really settle into this new life, he came back to life! I loved Liang with all my heart. When he died, I was broken. I was a shell of a human being. If he were to see what I had become, I would be disgusted. And now that I’m Nazz… I thought he’d be disgusted with me. Well, turns out I was being a dumbass, forgetting that Liang is one of the most easy going dudes I’ve ever met! He accepted all this shit like a champ, no vodka required, and now… I’ve got my husband back! …Well, not really.”
“We are not married in the eyes of the law, and I dunno if he would even swing that way. He was calling people faggots back in the 70s, ‘cos that was the style at the time, though by the time he met me, he didn’t have anything but good thing to say about the gays. Fuck, I sounded old there! About gay peeps. I know I’d love to make him my husband again, though… I also really liked that Ruby chick and I definitely have a thing for curvy ladies. …Shit, maybe Liang will surprise me and be into polyamory, or just be into casual sex. Everybody else in the fuckin’ Posse is!”
Liang: “Uh, hello? Testing. Testing. So… I just speak and my thoughts are recorded? Fascinating… Well, not as fascinating as being revived from the dead! I’d be more excited, except I didn’t even know I was dead— ‘cos I was dead! It’s still hard for me to get a grip on. All this talk of Gods, alternate realities, my wife becoming a 22-year-old man, and being 13 years in the future. It’s too much for a simple investment manager such as I! I don’t even know where to begin with getting current, or know how this new all-boy family dynamic is going to work… and that’s okay! I always said that if things get hectic, confusing, or nasty, all you can do is march forward, letting the bad things brush off your shoulders! …Also, I’ll have Nazz at my side, so I’m not worried!”
Daisuke: “This is what I needed. A day with no transformations, no prodding or insisting from Paz to try and be playful, just the opportunity to be me, and for everyone to be themselves. Yes, it is definitely fun, among other things, to be someone else, though it is important to remember who you are, remember your role, and not get lost in the other roles you get to play temporarily. …I couldn’t stop thinking about being Dia all day. About last night. My memories trickled in at the strangest times, and I just wanted to forget about it. I was not myself. I was under the influence. I was in a body that lacked strength, and everything I did that night… I did it out of weakness. That body is just too weak for me… so why do I keep thinking about it?”
Paz: “I understand that this is all hard for Daisuke. He defined himself on his strength for so long, on being the bedrock of this family, and being a physical embodiment of strength to help all of us women. I would understand if he only wanted to remain strong, remain tall, yet… this must be some bigger issue for him. I don’t know what though. Dia is a woman just like any other, and if Daisuke could just understand what he has as her, I think he would like it. We just need an opportunity to get him to be Dia, to see how strong and powerful he can be despite being so small. I mean… she certainly had power over me last night.”
Haruki: “Lazy Sunday, BAY-BEE! After rockin’ the city last night, I was in the mood to just chill for a spell, though if I had to stay at home, I really just wanted to try out some father-sons shit with Dad. He used to talk about shit we would do if we were boys, like, 15 years ago, and I wanted to see if he was just talking outta his ass! But noooo, he got too frazzled by being a pocket-sized MILF. A pocket-MILF. …Huh. Now I’m just thinking about what it would’ve been like if I was born a guy instead. It probably would’ve been the same. I’d get started on life, become a prodigy, and then go on from there. …Unless I got some extra benefits from being a girl, which… sure, maybe. Or I might’ve developed differently if I was born with a staggered, hormonally inferior, boy brain. I dunno. Maybe if I ask Verde she would… Nah, I’m already trying to form some sort of unionization thing with Maxxie, try to get Verde to give us better TS forms. Because who wants a bigger dick? Both of us!”
Verde’s Doohickey 2.0 Main Page
Act 1: SwitchY Swap
May 16th: Prom Pomf Pomf Preview
May 29th: Enter Verde’s Doohickey 2.0
May 30th: Let’s Get Swappin’
May 31st: Flare Family Fiasco
June 1st: Graduation Day
June 2nd: The Kurokawa ‘Sisters’
June 3rd: My Day As Zoe Xing
June 4th: Love in Seoul
June 5th: Sister Mother and Sister Daughter
June 6th: Back 2.0 Basics
June 7th: Assembling the Posse
June 8th: Anita Neukar in… Vivi Gaimz
June 9th: Mother Daughter Heart-2.0-Heart
June 10th: Daisuke and Paz in… Wacked Up Wednesday
June 11th: VAG Swap
June 12th: Terra’s Tomorrow
June 13th: Haruki’s Birthday Bash
Act 2: CHAOTIC CHANGES
June 14th: Jade and the Kuro Abigale Quinlans
June 15th: Aku_Mako’s E3 2015 Rundown – Day Zero
June 16th: Transform Sex Power
June 17th: Erotic Blitz
June 18th: An Evening At The Local Water Park
June 19th: Date Night Cubed
June 20th: Chicago Diamond Symphonia
June 21st: The Father’s Day Resurrection Special
June 22nd: Nazz and Liang Do Flare Industries
June 23rd: The Kurokawa Family Visits the Museum of Science and Industry
June 24th: Whatever Happened to… Yuccot Kikansky?
June 25th: A World Where The Gamers Won
June 26th: Bond Xing
June 27th: SSS – Sizzling Sexual Summer
June 28th: Lesbians 2.0 Gay Boys
June 29th: Caroline and Raiyne’s Cabin Logs
ACT 3: WORLDLY WONDERS
July 1st: We Lost the Remote in Tokyo!
July 2nd: Maid Café Mishaps
July 3rd: Pier Parties and Peaceful Palavers
July 4th: The Freedom To Get High At Burger Queen!
July 5th: From Nippon With Love
July 6th: Let’s Go Mexico with Haruya ‘n’ Da Boyz! Episode 1
July 7th: Jade & Caroline’s Austrian Adventure Episode 1
July 8th: Max’s Buff Quest Episode 1
July 9th: Let’s Go Mexico with Haruya ‘n’ Da Boyz! Episode 2
July 10th: Jade & Caroline’s Austrian Adventure Episode 2
July 11th: Max’s Buff Quest Episode 2
July 12th: Let’s Go Mexico with Haruya ‘n’ Da Boyz! Episode 3
July 13th: Jade & Caroline’s Austrian Adventure Episode 3
July 14th: Max’s Buff Quest Episode 3
July 15th: Utage Three-Point-Oh!