Content Warning: Verde’s Doohickey 2.0: Sensational Summer Romp contains content that some readers might find disturbing, triggering, or uncomfortable. This includes sexually explicit activities, dubious consent, strong language, hateful language and slurs, and incestuous activities. Reader discretion is advised.
Verde’s Doohickey 2.0: Sensational Summer Romp
July 14th – Max’s Buff Quest Episode 3
Part 1: Max’s Big Tournament – Round 1
Date: Irrelevant
Time: Unknowable
Location: The Strongest Under The Heavens Tournament
Author’s Note: The following segment functions as both a continuation of Maxxie’s storyline in Verde’s Doohickey 2.0: Sensational Summer Romp – Act 3 and a continuation of Nari’s Log, a 2013 novella series that never received a proper conclusion. If you would like to learn more about Nari’s Log, please read Volume 06 of The Saga of Vincent Dawn.
After besting five other Maxxisauruses across space and time, Maximillion Alpha Flare was finally here, at the promised endpoint of her journey. A tournament that spanned such distant vestiges of the past that it may as well be something new entirely. Cast within a crude approximation of a Roman Colosseum, the audience was full of all manner of creature, spanning from regular humans to robotic lifeforms to human-animal hybrids, to just straight up animals. Some of these figures has forms so abstract it was difficult for her to even parse them as lifeforms, but that was no concern for her. After all, she was to keep her eyes on the battleground before her, a structure of rock and sand, with gates on both the north and south side.
Maximillion waited for her gate to open, looking down over her person. Her hair had a dark blue sheen to it after achieving her latest power gain, and her body had been dressed by Xandy, putting her in a leather vest that could not be fully closed by her rippling muscles, black jeans, and steel-toed leather boots. Her arms were dressed in fingerless leather gauntlets, while metal shoulder pads completed the outfit and made her already imposing body even more foreboding.
In case the description was not obvious enough, she was effectively cosplaying as Kenshiro from Fist of the North Star, with even her hair looking quite similar. It wasn’t the most comfortable think she could wear, but it was better than walking out into a bare knuckle brawl with only trunks to protect her modesty.
The crowd was boisterous even before the battle had begun, and just as Maximillion grew used to their relentless baccano, she heard the big guy talk from atop his tower. Above all others, at the peak of this colosseum, there was a man, or perhaps creature, who looked to be more slime than human, with a form best compared to the likes of Jaba the Hutt from Return of the Jedi. A sluggish creature with wide eyes, a wide mouth, and stubby arms, with a gooey yellowish body that looked like you could scoop it up and eat it, not that you’d ever want to. He looked like if rotten pudding had grown like The Blob and merged with a man. This figure spoke in a masculine voice, too far away for Maximillion to clearly see, but too loud for her to not hear.
Loud Figurehead: “Grrreetings my people! As yourrr beloved leaderrr, Grrrand Emperrrorrr Pudding, I am prrroud to begin the firrrst Strrrongest Underrr the Heavens Tourrrnament! There shall be bloodshed, carrrnage, and the one trrrue winnerrr shall be grrranted his grrreatest desirrre. I want enterrrtainment, dirrrty deeds done dirrrty. In the norrrth, we have Maximillion the Larrrge. In the south, we have Cyh Anide the Trrrendy Cyborrrg Satanist. Now, indulge yourrrselves, and let the slaughterrring begin!”
As the crowd screeched in hype and the iron gates opened, Maximillion prepared to depart into the arena, only for an arm to reach out to her waist. She turned to see Xandy the talking, dapper velociraptor, looking as fetching as ever with his top hat and bow tie.
Xandy: “I… I believe something may be amiss, Maxxisaurus. Cyh Anide should not be here.”
Maximillion: “You know this person, sensei?”
Xandy: “Absolutely. In fact, I even have her here in my hat.”
Following that confusing comment, Xandy took off his hat and dug his claws into it, searching around for a doll with an especially simplistic design. Beige yarn covered its cotton stuffing, a large head with a stitched mouth and button eyes, and stubby limbs. It looked like the sort of thing that would be commonly associated with voodoo, or at least what the masses assume voodoo to be. To Maximillion… it just looked like a doll, without anything to make it unique, let alone a spark of life.
Maximillion: “Uh, is there anything special about this doll?”
Xandy: “Hmm… How peculiar. I remember she was writhing with life as recently as a fortnight ago, and none should be able to escape my hat’s domain. Well, I suppose it matters not. She was a trivial threat previously, and you should have no trouble with her. Now hop along and get to it. You needn’t keep the people waiting any longer.”
Through the confusing explanations by Xandy, Maximillion walked past the gate and into the light of the bright sun, radiating off of the yellow stone surrounding her. It should have been as hot as her balls in these jeans, but it was rather temperate. She looked forward at her opponent as they emerged from their side of the arena, expecting a big strong woman per Xandy’s words. Instead, she saw a woman who looked positively deranged.
She looked to be in her early twenties, an Asian woman, but her body was heavily modified through crude looking cybernetic augmentations. They began on her scalp, extended to her left eye, both arms, and presumably more of her figure. Half her face was metal, and with one glowing red eye, she looked like a Terminator whose disguise had half disintegrated. Her hair was long, straight, and looked positively unkempt, dyed a garishly unnatural orange color, while the only thing covering her body was a pink jumpsuit. The jumpsuit itself was tattered, looked like it stank, was covered in white paint that made out various symbols from an iconic anarchist A to more generic skulls, pentagrams, and variations of “666.”
While eye-catching and provocative, the nonsensical arrangement and open front zipper made her look less like a political radical and more like someone with no personality trying to compensate for their own vapid existence. She also did not look like much of a fighter, being about 160 centimeters tall and only having her robotic arms to sell herself as a fighter. Actually, taking a closer look, it was impossible for Maximillion to tell where the flesh ended and the metal began. The open jumpsuit exposed her neck to her pale, fleshy naval, but with those pink combat boots, she could be sporting robot legs for all Maximillion knew.
The boisterous crowd cheered on the fighters as they drew closer, but before throwing hands with this fighter, Maximillion wanted to exchange some words.
Maximillion: “Sorry, but did he just say your name was Cyanide?”
Cyh Anide: “Is that any better than someone being named Max-i-million?”
Maximillion: “Touché. …So, what’s your deal anyway? You just some super fighting cyborg?”
Cyh Anide: “Where I’m from, augmentations like this are a way of life. It is to claim ownership of my flesh, of who I am. People previously used ink to stain their skin to forge identity. We rip out the trash we are assigned at birth and replace it with cold steel.”
As if to demonstrate the power of her metal appendages, Cyh began to spin her robotic hand along its wrist in a manner that would be impossible for a human hand.
Maximillion: “And what, do you use them to kill people?”
Cyh Anide: “Normally, no. …But for you, I will make an exception, Shifter.”
Cyh said that like it was a major reveal, something meant to shake Maximillion to her core. Instead, she just blinked before remembering what she heard during her brief visit to the Omnibahn with Maxxi Biscuit and friends.
Maximillion: “…Look, I’m not from here, but I’m not a Shifter, you see. I don’t know you, or anything you have planned, and—”
Cyh Anide: “Shut your fucking trap! You think this eye is just for decoration? I still remember you and your furry fucks. You’re part of that group that tried to take my body from me, tried to stop The Syndicate’s from achieving its goal! The sworn enemies of Uni! He made love to me once, and if I kill you, he’ll surely do more than that! Embrace your death with erotic bliss!“
As her demeanor shifted from bitterly reserved to psychopathic, Cyh Anide swung her left arm, triggering the mechanisms within it to shift, morphing the metal into a rapidly moving blade— a chainsaw. Well, a chainsaw might be a bit of a misnomer. While it was in the shape of one, it lacked any chains and was instead more of a laser-based edge surrounding a metal blade. A laser chainsaw if you will.
The cyborg wielded her new weapon with frightening ease, sprinting toward Maximillion as she stood her ground, broadened her stance, and put her hands together, pointing both index fingers at her. She channeled the latent energy within her body, creating a ball of ki that rested on her fingertips, growing in strength before being fired off, right at Cyh’s head.
Maximillion: “Get a load of this new trick. I call it… MAX GUN!”
After declaring the name of her attack— which definitely wasn’t lifted wholesale from YuYu Hakusho— Maximillion fired the burst of energy right at Cyh, hoping something moving at such intense speed and proximity would be enough to stop her, yet she was immediately proven wrong. A single slash of her chainsaw arm was all it took for Cyh to swipe away the ki blast, sending it flying into the tastefully disheveled rubble across the arena.
No worse for wear, Cyh resumed rushing at her target with her chainsaw, flailing it as if she wanted to make a spectacular mess. With ki blasts proven ineffective against this foe, Maximillion had to change her strategy, and with the target so close… she decided to just go for it.
Swerving around with the greatest of ease, Maximillion dodged a chainsaw blade and shoulder tackled Cyh. She flinched from the sudden impact, taking a few steps back without falling down, and in this state of confusion, Maximillion rammed Cyh’s chainsaw arm under her armpit, pressing down on the metal connections with the totality of her body’s weight, throwing her opponent onto the floor.
The chainsaw whirled in rage, almost slicing off Maximillion’s ear, but before it could deal even a hint of damage, Maximillion yanked the metal arm out of its socket. Through “human” strength alone, Cyh was disarmed— literally— and while Cyh’s chainsaw still whirled with rage and spite, it was now in her opponent’s hands.
Cyh Anide: “You parts-stealing motherfucker!”
Calling someone a thief after trying to kill them was always a laughable deflection, and knowing the stakes of this tournament, Maximillion did not hesitate to use her new tool to her advantage, slamming the chainsaw down into Cyh’s other arm and watching the sparks fly from the impact. She wailed in rage, as if she could feel the pain of a synthetic limb.
With her opponent harmless, or at least armless, the crowd surrounding the two contestants went berserk, relishing in the bloodshed— or metalshed— and demanding more. Even the “grand emperor” chimed in.
Grand Emperor Pudding: “Yes! This is everrrything that I want! Now, make a show of it! Kill the machine!”
Cyh Anide: “I’m not a fucking machine! I’m just a human, but better, you pudding-human fuckbag!”
Maximillion: “Hey, uh, I don’t want to hurt you anymore—”
Cyh Anide: “I FUCKING HATE YOU! All of your kind! You are a disgrace upon my master’s goals, an impediment to his dreams!”
Despite Maximillion’s attempts to wind things down, Cyh Anide rose from the ground, standing on both legs, and ran toward Maximillion, brandishing her white teeth and swinging her legs erratically. For Maximillion, dodging her was trivial, and tripping her was even easier. Cyh fell down like a bucket of scrap, falling on her ass and crying in rage. Maximillion naturally did not want to kill her. She wanted to fight people, not murder them. But as Cyh’s jumpsuit developed another cut, exposing her metal legs, she figured that she could render her even more harmless.
Raising the chainsaw up high, Maximillion severed yet another set of limbs from her foe, shredding through the metal with the laser chainsaw and leaving Cyh lying on the ground as a quadruple amputee, her jumpsuit barely covering her body as she shouted in rage, going through every nasty word in her vernacular, erasing whatever sympathies Maximillion might have had for her.
With Cyh’s limbs scattered around the battlefield like common shrapnel, Maximillion grabbed one of her robotic legs, still covered in her jumpsuit, and held it up to the crowd. Thunderous applause followed. From their reaction, she hoped that she would not need to kill her opponent, and before she could hear anything from the leader of these operations, she heard Cyh screech out in rage yet again.
Cyh Anide: “You think you’ve stopped me? Well, I have one final trick to kill you.”
After speaking, a burst of fire erupted from the bottom of Cyh’s torso, burning away her jumpsuit and exposing her naked body. While the top of her torso was largely made of flesh, with some mechanical doodads leftover, her waist and genitals were entirely mechanical, with the flame bursting out from… her vagina.
Maximillion could not help but laugh at the absurdity she was provided, and effortlessly dodged Cyh as she attempted to fly toward her. It was almost sad seeing her reduced to this. Struggling to stay afloat while still trying to burn her target with a vaginal flamethrower like this, yet Maximillion played it up for the crowd. Using a stray sheet of Cyh’s jumpsuit, Maximillion mimicked a matador and spurred attacks from Cyh, treating her like a raging bull as the crowd lost their marbles at the display, laughing and cheering in unison while Cyh’s already slim patience depleted into nothing.
After raging toward Maximillion for the half dozenth time, she shrieked, flying higher, and higher… and kept on going. At first it seemed like she was charging up a certain attack, but as her movements became more erratic, it seemed like she was malfunctioning.
Cyh Anide: “NO! I don’t wanna die from a cyborg pussy fire TWICE! Damn you Based God! Damn you, Na—”
Before Cyh could finish her words, her body erupted into a barrage of fire, raining down onto the colosseum. Shrapnel and giblets of burn flesh flew into the crowd while the core of her body landed right before Maximillion’s feet. The still-burning remains of a human torso and head, augmented with metal, landed before her. The synthetic red eye still stared at Maximillion, capturing her image… before the eye went dark, and whatever signs of life remained within Cyh Anide were depleted.
She was well and truly dead, and while Maximillion had seen some shit in her time… the sight of a dead body made her rightfully disturbed. The crowd, meanwhile, were acting like they had just seen the greatest thing ever.
Before Maximillion could recover, let alone talk to Xandy, who was still standing behind the raised gate, she heard the giant pudding man speak up once again.
Grand Emperor Pudding: “Uhuhuhuhu! What a rrrousing display! Such excellence must be rrrewarded! Maximillion, you shall serrrve as the main fighterrr for the rrrest of the tourrrnament! If he can defeat the two rrremaining warriorrrs, he shall be deemed the winnerrr! Who’s with me?”
The crowd managed to achieve a new threshold for noise in their response, loving Maximillion’s display so much they changed the entire structure of the tournament.
Maximillion: “Really? Three fights in this tournament and I need to be in all of them?”
Xandy: “Oh, don’t bother.”
Turning around, Maximillion saw Xandy walk out onto the battlefield, as apparently that was permissible between battles like this.
Xandy: “They operate under their own rules here. I had hoped that Quinten would have proven himself to be a kinder ruler, but it seems that even converting Cornelius into a pudding cup was not enough to quell his foul influence. As a matter of fact, I may have made things worse…”
Maximillion: “…I have no idea who those people are.”
Xandy: “Oh, it needn’t matter, my good deshi. Just stay true to yourself and trust in your teachings.”
Maximillion: “Well, they got me this far… Actually, you’re right! I’m at the tail-end of my journey, so I should be psyched to have more battles. Alright, Grand Emperor! I’ll take on whatever freaks you’ve got in the wings! Let’s get it on!“
Part 2: Max’s Big Tournament – Round 2
Date: Irrelevant
Time: Unknowable
Location: The Strongest Under The Heavens Tournament
Following a short reprieve between rounds— concessions, toilet breaks, and cleaning up the bits of Cyh Anide from the battlegrounds— Maximillion was behind her gate, ready for the next battle. The crowd was hyped, Maximillion’s body was ready, and Grand Emperor Pudding was eager to kick off the proceedings.
Grand Emperor Pudding: “It is time for the next rrround of the tourrrnament! Maximillion the Larrrge shall fend off against his next challengerrr. The indomitable monstrrrocity whose name cannot be spoken! They have taken up dominion of another fighterrr, but their soul still rrremains, and that is good enough forrr me!”
Like with the last round, the gates opened, Maximillion walked out to the slightly freshened up sand and stone pit, and stood at the other side of her next challenger. She had no idea what to expect after an introduction like that, and what she saw was… certainly something.
Her second challenger appeared to be a Black woman, average stature, with huge boobs, bigger butt, wearing a bra, jean shorts that may as well have been a panty. She had see-through leggings, gym shoes, a cowboy hat, and a long black jacket, front opened, yet only covering the center sliver of her body. It was a certainly a fashion choice, but easily the most alarming thing about her appearance was her face. She had vacant white eyes, a mouth full of monstrous teeth, and a paleness that did not spread out to the rest of her body.
In her hands, she carried two weapons. One was a shotgun, its body decked out in enhancements that Maximillion could not parse due to their crude nature, and the other was a katana, its blade made of a striking red metal. She seemed to wield them effectively, slashing the blade before approaching Maximillion with her gun drawn, an intimidation tactic.
Maximillion wondered what her “deal” could possibly be, looking her up and down, before she spoke in a bitter decrepit, and deep voice, bringing doubts to her gender.
Eccentric Fighter: “You tainted me. I recoiled. I fled. And now, I have returned. With your death, my master will be overjoyed, and I will be ecstatic.”
Maximillion: “Uh, sure. You got a name, buddy? Or at least some pronouns I can use?”
Eccentric Fighter: “My name is Zxku— …My name is still unspeakable, by even myself, by your true ruler. You may believe that the Doctor is the one who controls all, but he is a mere figment next to her. And she has stolen my name from me! …Call me Zed, the first letter of my stolen name. I was once a powerful man, a Constant among all worlds, yet it was a struggle to manifest myself here, back into this discarded reality.”
Maximillion: “…So, you are some evil spirit guy possessing this hot lady because she’s a supreme fighter? Yeah, I can gel with that. So, Mister Z, would you care to dance with me.”
Zed The Unspeakable One: “Only with your corpse!”
Disregarding any veneer of sportsmanship, Zed The Unspeakable One immediately started firing his shotgun at Maximillion, forcing her to run. Though there were remnants of pillars that were once a part of this arena, they had long-since fallen, leaving Maximillion with no place she could hide from this ghoul’s gunfire, and it was nasty gunfire. Rather than just spray shells, every shot fired came with an explosion, bursting away the brickwork of the walls and nearly striking the spectators, not that they seemed to be bothered.
She dodged, weaved, ducked, and grooved away from the bullets, but even after six, eight, twelve, maybe even twenty shots, the dastard did not ever stop to reload.
Maximillion: “Whoever heard of an infinite explosive shotgun?”
Clearly, this was not a temporary threat, so Maximillion did what she knew, channeling power in her palm, launching a blue ki fireball at this threat. However, Zed did not dodge. He did not even shift his stance. He merely swung his sword, destroying the ki blast in an instant.
Maximillion: “Oh come on! Y’all cheating!”
Zed The Unspeakable One: “No. You are merely too WEAK!”
Without moving his feet, Zed positioned himself before Maximillion and slashed at him with his sword, using swift, focused strikes that Maximillion was able to dodge, holding up his arms, waiting for the right moment to strike. Then, right as Zed pulled up his shotgun to combine gun play with swordplay, Maximillion made his move, launching a punch squarely in the possessor’s face. He flinched. He blinked. And for his inability to keep up the pace, Maximillion went full offense. Punch after punch, again and again, just walloping the crap out of his vacant mug before slamming a punch into his gut.
The impact knocked him down, falling flat on his ass. Any sane fighter would have taken that as a sign that they were outplayed. Unfortunately, Zed rose from the ground, moving as if he could feel no pain, before returning to firing his explosive shotgun. Put on the back foot again, Maximillion dodged the gunfire, narrowly avoiding the hot explosives that were laced in every burst and struggling to find anything he could do to stop him.
Despite the pummeling, Zed did not look like he had taken any damage. He was just as focused as ever, shooting at Maximillion and, when she got too far, dashing forward with his blade to close the distance. They could do this all day, strafing around this circle, but unless Maximillion could figure out a way to meaningfully damage this freak, there was no way out of this loop. Or, well, there was one way. He had these weapons, but without them, he would be useless, right?
Snickering at how obvious this plan was, Maximillion fired off two ki blasts from her hands. Zed took the bait, slicing away one while firing at the other with his shotgun, and in that moment, Maximillion rushed in, slamming her elbow into her opponent’s neck, and kicking him in the knee. He fell down again, his arms joining him, and with the goods there for the taking, Maximillion grabbed them, stomping a foot on each arm as she yoinked away the katana and shotgun.
She pointed the shotgun right at Zed’s face, hoping to get him to take the easy way out, but the crowd, predictably, demanded bloodshed. Maxxie thought about their demands for a second… before throwing the gun to the ground and shooting at it with a ki fireball. Like a tin can full of cherry bombs, the gun blew to bits, leaving behind a burning pile of metal and little else. Now, with only a foe at her feet and a sword in her hand, she could finish off the opponent without ending their life. She held the sword, contemplating what she could do… before feeling something penetrate her chest.
The red katana she wielded had escaped the grip of her hand and embedded itself in her torso, poking out the other end. Blood burst from the two-part hole, and she felt the worst pain she had experienced since she began this quest. Zed, still on the ground, trapped in place by Maximillion’s feet, just laughed.
Zed The Unspeakable One: “You truly thought I would be stupid enough to use a regular weapon after you murdered Cyh Anide? Rejoice in the pain! It only made me stronger.”
Whatever modicum of sympathy Maximillion had for the life in front of her faded. This guy had to go. NOW!
As her eyes billowed with fury, Maximillion conjured her aura for the first time in this tournament, harnessing whatever strength she had as she yanked the sword from her stomach, blood dripping from the blade. Using the ki coursing through her body, she shattered the blade into less than fragments, leaving behind only a thin layer of dust that immediately became lost in the wind.
The crowd loved the display, Grand Emperor Pudding laughed, But Maximillion was too full of spite to listen to them right now. All she wanted to do was address the pain wrecking her body and the eyesore grinning at her with the look of a predator. Taking her free hand, Maximillion clenched her wound, shouting as she channeled the power of her aura inward, imagining the damage, and imagining what it should have been. Her body heeded her command, skin mended itself, organs merged around the rupture, and though she lost more blood than she would care to, from the perspective of the bastard beneath her boots, she was completely healed.
Zed The Unspeakable One: “You… what manner of magic is this? I have heard about light magic being able to—”
Maximillion: “To the woman you’re possessing, I’m sorry. But you need to die!”
Lifting her foot high, Maximillion crushed her boot against Zed’s skull, watching as the eyes popped out of their socket and his head was crushed like an overripen fruit. She clenched her teeth as she saw this sight, expecting to see an unpleasant gushing of blood beneath her foot, yet… she did not see that. Instead, his innards were distinctly black, looking like something decayed, if not rotten. This, somehow, curbed whatever disgust she felt at killing this guy, while the crowd did not seem to care. Black or red, blood was blood to them, and they were urging Maximillion to make a stand, make a gesture to cap off this show. Taking a breath, Maximillion prepared to do just that, to raise her hand in triumph and shout alongside them.
She did so, looking like a proud, valiant warrior, bearing only a small hole through both ends of her armor… but then she felt something strike her back, aimed for her heart but landing in one of her ribs. Pain brought rage, and rage brought violence, leading her to turn with a swinging kick before she could even tell who, or what did this. Her instincts were quickly proven right, as she turned to see Zed, headless, bearing twin daggers shrouded in darkness. Despite his weapons, the kick sent him crumbling to the floor like a regular person, still holding onto his knives. As he attempted to go in for a another attack, flailing the knives wildly, Maximillion took aim, channeling 100% of her power into her fist, and aiming squarely at his chest.
Maximillion’s hand ripped through his guts like a hand through cotton, and Zed froze, immobilized as Maximillion held onto something within Zed. It did not feel like an organ, let alone a heart. Instead, it felt like… A cube.
Refusing to take any chances, Maximillion held out her other hand and, with fierce determination, unleashed a wave of ki powerful enough to burn away every last bit of skin and flesh from Zed’s body. His jacket was eviscerated, poor excuse for pants was burned, flesh was refused to dust. All that remained was a skeleton, as black as Zed’s blood, and a cube. A plain black cube, devoid of any features beyond a smooth surface.
She was not sure why, but as she held this mundane object in her hand, she could tell that this was what she was truly fighting. This was Zed The Unspeakable One, and recognizing this, she held the cube high, and the crowd lost their minds once again. Clearly, they knew more about what was going on than her, and as this hype began to infect her, began to address the dour look that had crept onto her face, she heard his voice, speaking from the cube.
Zed The Unspeakable One: “No! No, this was not supposed to happen! I was supposed to win! I am sorry master, but… I have failed you. Let my death give you strength, and let victory lie in your future! Heil Uni, the unifier of all! Glory to The Syndicate! And when all is lost, I shall always and forever be Zxkuqy—”
The cube then left Maximillion’s grip, firing out into the sky, higher, and higher still, where it burst into an array of fireworks, celebrating her victory with a triumphant explosion and dazzling white colors that made the crowd ballistic.
Shaking her head, Maximillion rose her fist high, laughing alongside the crowd at her victory. …And at her relief that she only had to best one more opponent before it was all over.
Part 3: Max’s Big Tournament – Final Round
Date: Irrelevant
Time: Unknowable
Location: The Strongest Under The Heavens Tournament
Following another break, it was time for the final round. Maximillion’s wounds had been healed through the power of her immaculate ki, and she was revved up to go. After all this time, all this training, and traveling across time and space, she was ready for the gross pudding man on top of the pillar to announce the final challenger, and to whoop their butt.
Grand Emperor Pudding: “We have waited long enough! It is time forrr the final rrround of The Strrrongest Under the Heavens Tourrrnament! Maximillion the Larrrge is up against his grrreatest foe yet. The icon, the sex symbol, the unforrrgettable man of everrry hourrr. It’s UNI!”
The crowd just kept reaching new heights of hype, but here it truly sounded like every person, the emperor included, was cheering on this “Uni” person. Maximillion heard the name during her time on the Omnibahn, but she had no idea what to expect from the guy. So, with a nod of encouragement from Xandy, she walked out into the battlefield for the final time, eyes locked as Uni mirrored her movements and drew closer.
Uni was an immediately imposing person, standing at two meters in stature, with a body of comparable musculature to Maximillion, due in part to his arms, made of a shining steel. They were large, rippling, ran the line of what looked natural on a human, and were far more advanced than the comparatively flimsy designs of Cyh Anide. His complexion was dark, even by the standards of a Black man, and his dark hair was kept trim and clean, boasting a full beard and a short yet clean hairstyle
His face resonated with a palpable handsomeness, as if it was manufactured in a lab to make the highest concentration of people swoon with delight, while his body’s appeal was only enhanced by his clothing. It was simple: a white tank top, black shorts, and the proper shoes for an athlete, simply colored white. Yet the way they clung to his body only drew the eye to every other facet of his person. The tufts of hair poking out from the top of his tank top, the field of hair covering his legs, and how rippling every bit of muscle on his body truly was. It was not the type of body that androsexual women would find appealing. He looked too cold and powerful for that, even if he had arms made of flesh. Instead, he captured the ideal male athlete fantasy to a tee, and simply looked like a man who would achieve “something great.”
In a sense, Maximillion looked at him as a fitting opponent. An ideal of a man she had to defeat to obtain her ideal male form. Sure, she was smaller compared to him— in every sense based on the bulge in his pants— yet she was not afraid of him. She had made it this far, and she was ready to get the win. …But first, she still had to greet the man.
Maximillion: “Hey there. I’ve heard about you, but I can’t say I know much about what your deal is, Uni.”
Uni scoffed at Maximillion’s comment before quickly answering, his voice deep and smooth, the sort of thing one could listen to all day without getting tired of.
Uni: “I see. She must have sent you here without a clear objective. Somehow, I am not surprised. My name is Uni, and what you see… is what was to be a facet of my domain. My empire. My own personal universe to do with what I saw fit. …I can smell the Shifters on you, so I trust you know about the Omni, do you not?”
Maximillion: “Yeah, I think I get the gist. But I don’t get what you were trying to do here with this world. Erm, multiverse, I guess.”
Uni: “Hmm… It is in my name. I was born alongside the Omni, and ever since I came into being in the Omni, existing across its boundless universes as a Constant, I have carried with one desire. To bring an end to it. The Omni is a cosmic accident, a mistake, and all these disparate worlds were meant to be one. However, I had no way to achieve such a goal until I found the final missing piece of the puzzle. The man who would allow me to achieve my desires. The final bridge between worlds, Nari.”
He said that like it was a mic drop moment, but Maximillion took a solid five seconds before that name clicked in her head.
Maximillion: “…You mean that guy Max and Maxxi Biscuit mentioned?”
Uni: “…Yes, the very same one. I met him, analyzed him whenever I could, and aimed to break him through pain and death when possible. I felt I was making progress with him, in sewing his division and distrust between his allies. …But then, after just a few encounters with him, he vanished.”
Maximillion: “Yeah. That’s what I gathered from Y’vonne and—”
Uni: “She put him in stasis, denying him from me, from the Omni. And now… I can sense his presence is gone. She must have disposed of him, and with that, She left my story without an ending. …I am a man beyond a linear perception of time, but it has been a near lifetime since I had seen him, since I had seen any Shifter. I still live, but my true goals are beyond my grasp. I have been put in a holding period for years, and I know that is why you are here. Because She wants you to put an end to this, an end to me.”
Maximillion: “…Nope, you lost me there, buddy. I don’t know what you are talking about.”
For a second, a look of frustration graced Uni’s face, but he cast it aside, as if he was afraid to be seen as ugly before so many people.
Uni: “…You were sent by Her, by the unknowable being who manifested my very existence, and are here to kill me.”
Maximillion: “Uh, I’d rather not. The other guys weren’t meant to be kills, and I don’t know how that Zed guy should be counted but—”
Uni: “What a bothersome God I am forced to dance for. …I know I have no chance to win. Fate has already been ordained by the God beyond my comprehension. But if I am to die, I must die fighting. So, come at me, Maximillion. If I must perish, allow me to do so with a glory I had long been denied!”
Maximillion: “S-Sure, dude. I’ll… I’ll give you the fight of your life!”
With words thrown, and the audience enraptured by Uni’s voice, it was finally time for the last battle to begin. Maximillion and Uni both took their positions, gauging each other’s stance as they contemplated the first move. Uni nodded, Maximillion smirked, and with not even a hint of strategy, the two musclebound figures ran toward each other, threw out their right fist, and clashed in the center of the arena. The crowd cheered as the fighting began, and a moment later Maximillion was sent reeling back. She hoped this ploy would work on the final boss, but she was proven wrong.
Maximillion: “YOWCH! Note to self: metal’s freaking hard!”
Uni: “Mwahahaha! If you think you can beat me in regard to raw strength, you are sorely mistaken. I have forged this body, optimized it, and ensured myself that I would bring my greatest form to this battle. You are beyond human— that much is obvious— but I am both beyond you.
Dashing forward without moving his feet, Uni pulled back his fist and slammed it into Maximillion’s gut. Blood sputtered from her mouth one second, and the next she found herself flying backwards, her body clashing into the tattered brick wall around her with enough force that it left behind a Maximillion-shaped indent.
Uni, predictably, laughed at this display, pleading to the cheering crowd as Maximillion was left to pry herself free, staring at her foe, aghast.
Maximillion: “You think you have power, and they keep fighting guys stronger than you. This really is my shonen quest, eh? Alright, I can deal with this. A Maxxisaurus never gives up and doesn’t get spooked by nothing, no way no how. I might not have what it takes to compete with metal arms, but I do have something he doesn’t.”
As she muttered to herself, Maximillion held her hand forward, accumulating a ball of blue energy, growing from the size of a tennis ball to basketball to something twice the size. Uni, of course, saw the blue light before him, but he did not falter. If anything, he smirked. Maximillion should have been clued off, yet she unleashed her latest blast of ki energy all the same, shouting as it left her hand and flew toward Uni… who flicked it away like it was a bothersome gnat, casting it off into the distance, narrowly missing the crowd.
Uni: “You seem to be a slow learner. Ki is only effective on living things, at least in this world, and there isn’t a drop of blood flowing through these arms of mine.”
Maximillion: “Tch. I’m starting to think it was a waste of time teaching me how to use this— Xandy.”
Before Xandy could offer a quip or anything of the sort, Maximillion felt Uni’s cold metal hand wrap around her neck, lifting her above the ground, and leaving her starved for oxygen.
Uni: “Heh. If you are the one sent by God to kill me, then perhaps I have overestimated Her. I can measure great power within you, but power in the hands of a man who does not know how to use it is worthless. Let’s see if I can force some worth out of you.”
Leaving no time to waste, Uni slammed Maximillion back into the wall behind her, grabbing her by the hair and smacking her skull into the brick wall, again and again, as blood burst from her forehead and rock cracked from the impact of her skull. The crowd loved it, elated by the brutality, while Maximillion was unable to see through either eye, let alone fight back.
Without the support of Uni’s callous hand, she fell to the ground, sand rubbing literal salt into her wounds as she attempted to rise up, but Uni did not grant her that basic fighter’s luxury. Instead, he slammed his boot-covered foot onto the back of her head. Once, twice, thrice, each impact bearing more force and weight than the last. She could feel fluids seeping from her ears as sound cut out for a horrific moment. Her gums burst as a metallic taste was sprayed across her tongue. She laid there, wrapped in pain, and clearly unable to fight, yet Uni did not relent. Instead, he took his foot to her back, stomping her ribs, trampling onto her spine, and even discarding the bare decency to attack her with one foot at a time, trampling her back while she was left completely immobile.
Maximillion wanted to do something— She needed to do something or else she would just die. Yet the pain was so immense, the bleeding so profuse, that Maximillion could barely tell that she had a body beyond the sense of pain. She did not want to think of the damages— she physically and mentally could not— yet that did not stop Uni, who took Maximillion’s battered and blood soaked being by the leg, one of the few parts that were not damaged, and began thwapping her against the ground like a child tormenting a doll.
One second, she would rise into the light of the sun, bright enough to pierce through her sealed and bloody eyes. The next, she would find her face pounded into the dirt, stones tearing through her face, digging into her lips, and slicing through the skin on her forehead.
This was not a fight. This was an assault, a beatdown, a brutal bout of torture by someone who, just two minutes ago, seemed convinced his life was at its end. Maybe that’s why he was so aggressive. …But from the way he gripped Maximillion’s heel with such intensity that she felt as if her foot would fall off, she could tell that was a load of shit. Some people just loved hurting people, and Uni was one of them.
Xandy: “Maxxisaurus! You cannot let him best you! You have come so far, and I know with absolute certainty that you can win! Stop holding back, give it your all!”
Somehow, Xandy’s voice breached her ears. Everything hurt. Everything felt like it was broken, her spirit included. She was tussled up in a few fights, but there, her opponents at least fought fair. She thought that Zed guy was bad, but Uni?
Maximillion: “…You piece of shit.”
Maximillion forced her heavy, beaten eyes open. Her back was against a wall and Uni was in the center of the arena, playing to the crowd, as if he had already won. However… she was not going to let him end things like this. She had healed herself before, had done so in this exact arena, and if she could find the strength, fight the determination, her victory was assured. She thought back to everything leading up to this point, searching for this resolve.
You dirty rat bastard. You’re not even a real fighter, are you? You’re just another bully trying to get in my way. I’ve dealt with yout kind, saying that I’m not this, I’m not that, I’m annoying, I’m cringe, I’m weird— but have I ever backed down from a challenge I cared about? HELL NO! I am Maxxisaurus Omega Flare, thank you very much, and while I’ve always had help, I’m the one who did it to it until the very end! I wanted to become an artist, so I did, and I’m still aiming to be the very best at what I do, like no one ever was!
I wanted good friends, so I made ’em, and I’ll do anything to keep ’em! This is just another challenge, isn’t it? Xandy’s right. He’s a dinosaur and as we all know, dinosaurs can’t lie! I can do anything if I set my heart to it, so I will. I’ll do the impossible— I’ll see the invisible— And with the determination beating within me— so long as my blood is warm— I will have the strength needed to pierce the very heavens. For I am Maximillion ALPHA Flare, and this metal arm motherfucker is nothing compared to me! I can win! I just need to GO FOR IT!
As Maxxie’s mind raced for hope in a hopeless situation, the body she was piloting rose from the ground. A palpable blue aura surrounded her, coursing with an intimidating strength, sending dust flying and filling the air with a whooshing sound both horrifying and pleasant. The wounds on her body were either healed or healing. Her top had been torn to tatters, leaving behind only her jeans, boots, and rippling abs. The blue ki mended her body back together as her will supplant physical reality, and her face made her fury well known. Her eyes were a saturated cobalt, and her expression was a devious mixture of smug and sinister.
Uni looked at this… and just laughed.
Uni: “So, this is your second wind? Not even another one of those supposed transformations I’ve heard so much about?”
Maximillion: “…Oh? Is this not good enough for you? Well, I was going to test myself, but if you insist… I can take it to the next level.”
Uni: “Feh. Please do. I want to fight against a worthy opponent.”
Stifling a laugh, Maximillion, her aura already large and imposing, held her stance and looked up at the sky, at the sun overhead, and the boundless possibilities available to her.
Maximillion: “…Xandy, I should have realized that those marbles were just placebos. The power really was within me all along, wasn’t it? And because of that, nothing is stopping me from.”
The sound of her pulsating aura made Xandy’s words unintelligible, but that was okay. He already taught her everything she needed to know. Now, all she had to do was act on it.
Spreading her legs wide, Maximillion looked within and channeled her truest and fullest power. She shouted, she screamed, and felt every muscle in her body join her, pushing past the wall with the goal of tearing it down. She would not be humiliated, she would not be stopped, she would not let this jagoff tell her no when her goal was just inches away.
Uni stood with a cocky look on his face, choosing to believe he had already defied his fate and won, and this desire only helped Maximillion pass the final threshold. Pride, anger, and a desire for victory swelled within her, and these emotions burst out into the world.
The entire colosseum erupted in a dazzling array of light, blinding Uni and the contestants alike as the overwhelming power of Maximillion was expelled into the outside world, into the sky, shining as bright as a star. Only once the initial burst flew skywards could the crowd look at what Maximillion had become. She was still a strong imposing man, yet her hair, her aura, had become purple. A seemingly minute aesthetic change, but the way she walked, the way she smiled, and even the glint in her glowing eye, were all different. She exuded confidence in a manner she did not before, and slowly walked up to Uni.
Uni: “Pfft. You expect a dye job to convince me?”
Maximillion: “No, I expect my power overwhelming to speak for itself. Let’s throw down like we did at the start, and let’s see if you can tell a difference.”
Shrugging, Uni walked forward, pulling back his fist as the two drew close enough to cross blows. Then, as both of them took a step forward, they launched their right fists into each other, clashing as the crowd cheered. Uni smirked, expecting to see Maximillion fly back again. Or, at worse, they would prove themselves to be an even match.
…Instead, Uni felt a pressure course through his arm, pushing it back. He solidified his stance, pushing his fist forward to assert himself before his opponent. He felt the tides shift, his fist inching forward… until Maximillion’s lurched forward, digging into Uni’s fist with a rippling strength. Uni felt the metal casing scratch, peeling away against her ki-infused knuckles. He looked at this sight with awe, refusing to believe that human hands could best his own, and kept pushing forward, fighting against Maximillion’s fist with every morsel of might he could muster… until he heard a horrific crashing sound.
Maximillion had taken her right fist and rammed it through Uni’s right arm, shredding through the metal, severing the connection at the elbow. Uni stared on as the metal of his dominant arm was severed— like a hot life through butter— and fell to the ground. He… could not believe it, staring at his triceps, trying to wiggle his fingers, only for nothing to happen, to only see what should be his arm laid on the floor. A part of him, a being who thought so highly of himself, had been so easily transformed into mere junk.
Bravado drained from his persona like water from a burst dam. His ceaseless confidence had been eradicated, and he looked on at Maximillion with abject horror. His language faculties failed him, he recoiled back like a small child, and before he could even consider a strategy, Maximillion grabbed his remaining arm. She felt around for the socket, the part that connected metal to flesh, and tore it away like it was an unwanted root. Wires and cables poked out from the mechanical deltoids, but any home of reattaching the arm crumbled as Maximillion threw it into the audience.
Maximillion: “So, can you tell a difference, bud?”
Uni: “H-How did you—”
Maximillion: “I wanted it, I worked towards it, and I got it. …Don’t get it twisted— I hate you— but I’ll give you one chance to give up.”
Her smug disposition made Uni want to wry the life out of her neck, but without arms, doing so would be an ordeal, to say the least.
Uni: “You… you think I want to live like this? As a humiliated loser? I came here to win or to die. And I will not accept any other outcome.”
Accepting death and fearing nothing, Uni swung his leg at Maximillion, aiming squarely for her torso. His kick landed, slamming into her leather-bound chest with a hearty thud, but she did not so much as flinch.
Maximillion: “PREDICTABO!”
The next moment, Uni found himself tossed onto his back, skidding against the sandy ground before his head crashed into a wall. He was low and armless, Maximillion was standing tall, only wearing damage on his tattered clothes.
Maximillion: “So, you got any more tricks up your sleeves, or did you spec out in strength and nothing else?”
Frustrated and wanting to protect his pride more than his life, Uni held up his foot, desperate to prove that he still had some fight in him. He was unable to kick Maximillion from his position, but he craned his boot high enough to aim at Maximillion’s face. She smirked at the inane gesture, unsure if she was to view it as funny or pitiful, and with fury on his face, Uni unleashed his final gambit. A powerful sound emerged from the heel of Uni’s boot, and it left behind a hole through the sole. He smirked as he heard the sound, yet as he craned his head back up, he simply saw Maximillion with a clenched hand in front of her face.
Releasing her hand, she produced a single bullet resting in her palm, looking no worse for wear. She dropped the bullet to the ground where it silently fell into the sand, not even gracing Uni with the sound of clanging metal. All he got was a vacant thud.
Maximillion: “A gun in your foot? Guess that means your legs are metal. No wonder they hurt so much. …But if that’s all you’ve got, then I guess it’s time to end things.”
Uni: “Who… what the hell are you?”
Maximillion: “I’m just some girl from Oransen who got in way over her head.”
Uni: “Is that supposed to mean anything to me?”
Maximillion: “Guess not!”
With a smile and a shrug, Maximillion held her hand out, palm open, and began to channel purple ki energy. Unable to block any attacks, Uni would be forced to take a full ki blast to the face, and at this angle, with this power, his fate was certain.
Maximillion: “…This is the end for you, Uni. …And good riddance.”
Offering those final words, Maximillion released the ball of purple energy in her hand, aiming it directly at Uni’s skull. Dust flourished, smoke billowed, the crowd went ballistic, and all that remained was a crater with a corpse within it. Maximillion did not want to look, but she did, seeing the skeletal remains of… not a man, but a machine. Right down to the skeleton, every part of his body was merely a machine wrapped in the packaging of a person. This raised many questions about his nature as a person… none of which Maximillion cared to answer. She won, this douchebag was done and dusted, and finally, her Buff Quest as near its end.
Part 4: Max’s Big Tournament – The Big W
Date: Irrelevant
Time: Unknowable
Location: The Strongest Under The Heavens Tournament
Despite killing an idol, an icon known throughout this society, the people of the colosseum cheered Maximillion on as she stood tall and proud, her fist pointed at the sky. Her purple aura receded, hair still glimmered with a distinct purplish sheen, and while her mind was tired, her body still looked to be in decent shape, barring the cuts and scrapes across her boots and jeans.
She gestured toward the crowd as they cheered her on before drawing her eyes to the pillar supporting the human-pudding hybrid monstrosity known as Grand Emperor Pudding.
Grand Emperor Pudding: “Stupendous display, boy! You had my hearrrt-a-rrracing more than once! I herrreby declarrre you the winnerrr of the firrrst Strrrongest Under the Heavens Tourrrnament! So, tell me! What is yourrr grrreatest desirrre?”
Maximillion had come so far and achieved so much. She had been waiting for this moment, yet as she stood here, with a 10 incher in her jeans, immense power at her fingertips, she questioned if she really wanted this. She could ask for anything at this point. Hell, maybe ask for a new form entirely, but if so… what?
As Maximillion mused over this loaded question, she looked into the crowd, searching for some speck of inspiration, but as her eyes drifted upwards, she saw something… peculiar. The once bright and clear sky overhead was being subsumed by clouds at an alarming rate, rushing in at a pace that would be unprecedented even if there was an encroaching storm. Looking back down, she found the audience… obscured, their seats shrouded in a fog that appeared from nowhere and quickly overcame their bodies, masking them away, and even hiding the emperor from her vision. Every time she looked at something, she saw something else fade away, consumed by this fog. This… white fog.
While fog came in many colors, this fog looked starkly white, unnaturally so, as if the fog itself was emitting light. Fear gripped her heart as she searched for a source of this supernatural occurrence.
Maximillion: “Uh, Verde, if this is your idea of a joke, I don’t get it.”
With no response, with no one as far as she could see, Maximillion walked through the fog , hoping to find something and, soon enough, she did. She found a man, tall and imposing, with a bald head, wearing only a pair of underwear, and a body that was so white it literally glowed. His eyes were white, the brows above them were white, and there was no possible way that a person, a figure, could appear more white. His very presence was unnerving, as if he was a contamination to existence itself.
The sane part of Maximillion told her to run, but the confident part responded with “where to?” She was the only other person present in this foggy place that defied her concept of space. So, what choice did she have other than to greet this individual?
Maximillion: “H-Hey there! My name’s Maximillion. I’m not sure where I am, or why I’m here, but could you help me get outta here? I was in the middle of something major and—”
White Figure: “Even when I evade capture, a Sterk comes to pasture. Your body courses with power, so you may call me Weiss Vice. I seek the death of your kind, and I shall not say that twice.”
Maximillion: “Oookay. We’ve got a rhyming weirdo as my secret last challenger— thinking he’s Akuma or something. Well, if you want to kill me, I guess that means I better go all out. Brace yourself— freak— for the power of my spirit!”
Holding out her hand, Maximillion fired off a blast of ki at this new threat, aimed directly at his exposed chest. The purple beam was comparable in power to the one that eviscerated Uni just a few minutes ago, so Maximillion expected similar results. Instead… it did nothing, not even graze his skin.
Maximillion: “Uh… what? My power level’s gotta be hella high at this point, so why didn’t that do anything?”
Rather than answer— rather than react— Weiss Vice merely walked toward Maximillion, moving with the cold calculating precision of a machine. With no walls around her, as far as she could tell, Maximillion was able to build distance with this foe, backing up, but running away was not a long-term option. She had to beat them, somehow, and with ki blasts proven ineffective, she decided to try things the traditional way.
Maximillion: “Let’s see how you like the power of my MAX FIST!”
With profound gusto and eagerness, Maximillion threw a hardy punch directly at Weiss’s face, hoping for a reaction. Instead, Weiss continued his blank stare, clearly unaffected by Maximillion’s attack. Maximillion, conversely, was writhing in pain. She screamed, pulled her fist away, and looked down at it, burn marks on her knuckles. While his skin was not hot, it sure felt like she had just punched a boiling pot.
Maximillion: “DAMN! That smarts. So you’re immune to ki, and you don’t like my punches… guess I’ll need to hit fast and hit hard. And a good thing too. I was waiting to use this on someone after I mastered his technique.”
Declaring her intent to attack, Maximillion began shifting and grooving, hopping on her toes, looking like she was about to break down into a dance. Instead, she started weaving her body in an infinity symbol loop before she unleashed a flurry of hooks at her opponent, all while continuing to bob and weave. Every strike had the full weight and momentum of her body backing it, and with such profound speed, the assault was simply relentless.
Weiss Vice did not attempt to dodge, let alone block. He just stood there, taking each hit with a static expression, seemingly uncaring if his body was being pelted. Still, Maximillion continued, persisting this assault for as long as her body would allow, ushering blow after blow. Time faded into something loose and immaterial as she continued her onslaught, persisting until her body urged her to stop. Her hands avoided the worst of the burns from her speed, yet the damage was still there, and her fatigue was growing. It would be worth it if her opponent was at least worn down. …Instead, he looked like he hadn’t even taken chip damage.
Maximillion: “Y-You’ve gotta be kidding me! What’s your deal, bud?”
Weiss Vice: “I must cleanse the corruption of all wretched existence. It is good, it is right, yet you continue this resistance. I am the harbinger of The Great Genocide, and your continued life, I cannot abide. So stand down and accept your fate, for the White Empire shall be eternally great.”
As this White psychopath sputtered his nonsense, he took a step forward, reaching his hand out to Maximillion’s face. She attempted to dodge, but his other hand lurched forward, grabbing her by the cheekbones as she looked at him, feeling horrified for the first time in this encounter. The mere skin to skin contact was enough to cause… something to stir in her mind.
Images, obscured, powerful, and deeply disturbing, all flashed in her mind, barely giving her time to comprehend what she saw before unleashing another layer of hell. What she saw was images of Black and Brown death. Of people, children, being brought to the slaughter, their bodies shoved into literal dumpsters like they were no better than trash. Sights of thousands of people with skin as dark as hers— people who looked like her as both a man and a woman, were running in terror as their bodies were consumed by white lights, erased, leaving behind not even a corpse to indicate they existed, that they were once a person. The same scene played out in so many locations, so many cities, but no matter how much they resisted, it always ended the same way. Complete erasure. Absolute death.
Her mind then reached back from this foreign unknown into what she knew, what she had been taught by her teachers, her family, and through some of the most vile trenches of the internet. The unquantifiable terrors of colonialism, the ruthless slaughter of indigenous people, the transformation of human beings into a damn commodity by made up rules that were driven by convenience above all else. Images of Asian people of all hues being shot and bombed by White men. The centuries of pain and torment exerted on Africans as they were stolen from their homeland and turned into generational property, killed the moment they went out of line, and then sent to slaughter under the guise of being “criminals.”
All of it. EVERYTHING. It all played in her head at once, and every image of suffering, of systematic, dogmatic abuse, added to her fury. Because all of this struck her. Because this suffering was a core part of her people’s history.
Maximillion was Black. She was Filipino. She was Indian. She was Indonesian. She was Korean. She was Chinese. She was Japanese. She was Malaysian. She was Vietnamese. Every FUCKING COUNTRY that her long and storied lineage came from was scarred by ruthless, callous, and reprehensible motherfuckers who believed people like her were less than human. They believed people like her, who had the audacity to blur the lines between so many races, were the subhumans among subhumans.
Maximillion had been blessed to not have much firsthand exposure to the endless amount of hatred that existed in this world for people like her. But that did not mean she did not know the face of hatred— the face of evil— when she saw it. She thought she knew what the purest form of this evil was. Someone who would look at the systematic genocide of over 6 million people, most of whom looked indistinguishable from their murderers, all in the name of race, and want it to happen on a scale of ten. But… Weiss Vice was not that. He was someone who did that. …By a factor of thousands.
Weiss Vice: “The life of a Sterk is naught but despair. Surrender and I shall cure you of this affair.”
The audacity.
The gall.
The relentless hatred and arrogance that it would take for someone to say something like that.
It was… too much.
Maximillion: “What… THE FUCK… DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!?!?!”
Every facet of her body burned with anger, with disdain for the wretched creature who stood before her.
Maximillion grabbed his arm and pulled it away from her face, tolerating the pain, tolerating the burning that came with touching this man, and ignoring the searing sensation that was assaulting her face. There was no physical pain that could match what she just had to endure, the centuries of suffering that assaulted her mind. She would not surrender, she would not cede. She would beat the ever-loving FUCK out of this Nazi son of a bitch.
The burgeoning purple aura surrounding Maximillion burst from her body, spreading across the white foggy un-space she found herself in. The exertion of such force was enough to shatter whatever illusion Weiss had placed on the two, and they found themselves return to the colosseum. The crowd looked on at the sight, clearly confused, perhaps a bit unsettled, by what they were seeing.
Weiss did not react to this, his expression remaining as static as when he first appeared, and Maximillion remained stone-faced as he stared into his white eyes. She exhaled through her nose, keeping her mouth locked in a scowl, and let go of the power she had spent so long accumulating. Her hair rapidly shifted in color, from purple to blue to green to yellow to the unseen orange to red, and finally back to Black. The aura surrounding her body had disappeared, and it seemed that she had cast aside her strength. It was the equivalent of a Super Saiyan 3 powering down to their base form while their foe stood before them. However, even that was not enough to spur a reaction from Weiss Vice. Such a reaction would be too human for a being such as him.
Without saying a word, Maximillion moved onto her next action. Her hand was still clenching Weiss’s wrist, and with a single gesture… she broke it. Bones audibly snapped and for the first time since he laid eyes on her, Weiss reacted. He was seemingly… perplexed by how someone, a mere human, could do this to him, and before he could react, Maximillion began her onslaught. A punch to the gut woke him up, a punch to the throat knocked the air out of his lungs, and a punch to the face knocked him down to the floor.
Maximillion: “I’m not FUCKING SCARED OF YOU! You are a monster, a demon, and I don’t know where the FUCK you came from, but no matter what you did to so many others, you are NOT as strong as you think you are!”
Even with her foe already fallen, Maximillion did not stop. He did not respect the rules of combat. He did not respect the lives of people like her. So, why offer him any better treatment? She mercilessly stomped her boots onto his white trunks, digging her metal heel into his balls, pounding and pounding as he silently quivered, his horrific powers rendered inert.
She kicked him in the lips, threw him at the walls, and gave him half the beating Uni gave her. His skin no longer brought her pain, and with every strike he took, it grew dimmer, the white glow nearly leaving his person. Burgeoning bruises and growing welts made him black, blue, and even purple. And from these wounds, he was left crawling on the floor, struggling to stand up. He was sad, he was pathetic, he was exactly as he should be.
Well, that was not entirely true. For one, he was still breathing.
Thought of murder filled Maximillion’s mind as she looked at this wretched person, and the crowd around her was practically begging for blood. If there was anyone who deserved it, he seemed like the prime candidate. And all it would take was a few more hits.
Maximillion: “You know, there’s a funny story about my hometown. 40 years ago, the Nazis wanted to march there, even got the backing of the Supreme Court of my country, but when the time came, they didn’t. Because they saw what the towns people were capable of, how much they despised them. They knew that showing their faces would be a death sentence. So, like the cowards they are, they backed away, never marching the streets, and never showing their faces there. Not since 1978, not ever. This is for my hometown, for all the people who I call my ancestors, and for all the lives you erased.”
Maximillion raised her boot, ready to end the life of the Nazi before her… only for a familiar claw to touch her bare shoulder.
Xandy: “While he deserves death, it appears that someone else has a… reservation on his fate. Verde contacted me while you were in that dreadful fog, and I believe she’s arranging transport for him right now. …As a matter of fact.”
Xandy turned his head and Maximillion did the same, the two looking on at a… vacancy before them. It was a dark object in the shape of a rhombus, two meters tall, floating off the ground, and defying the laws of light as it sucked in all light, all color, to emit a glow of darkness. It looked unpleasant, wrong even… but did that not make it the perfect place to put someone as deplorable as Weiss Vice?
Maximillion nodded as she stared at this rift in reality itself, grabbing Weiss Vice by the arm and poking her head through this peculiar portal, hoping to see something positive on the other side. What she saw was the sight of space, of stars and distant worlds well beyond reach. It was a vast array, far less cozy than the glimpse of the Omni she enjoyed a short while ago, and absent from anything near, except for a single figure.
They appeared to be a woman with pink hair, brown skin, a black helmet, and a set of armor that covered the entire rainbow with the help of an orange axe. Even discarding the fact that she was floating in space, she looked like someone important, and she stared at Maximillion, as if she was expecting something.
Presented with what she could only interpret as a friendly face, Maximillion smiled, her tone shifting from fiery to affable
Maximillion: “Damn, that’s some get-up you’ve got there. But you know what? I think it works. You’ve got a real rainbow warrior thing going on, and I can respect that. Anyway, I’ve got a little something-something for you. Some absolute loser by the name of Weiss Vice.”
With a smile, Maximillion tossed Weiss Vice through the rift, watching as he limply floated through space, his body battered, bruised, and hopefully, harmless.
Maximillion: “Enjoy giving this White Supremacist what he deserves. I know I sure did!”
Offering a wave and a smile, Maximillion stepped away from the portal before her, watching as it swiftly faded into nothingness. She took in a deep sigh, looked at the crowd, and raised her fist before her head. Thunderous applause followed yet again, and she felt like collapsing right there. However, now was not the time for rest. She had defeated every challenger that came her way, and her prize was waiting for her. The emperor looked down at her from his throne, still in good spirits despite all the interruptions, and spoke out to her in his exaggerated manner.
Grand Emperor Pudding: “Wuhuhuhu~! So many twists! So imprrressive! Maximillion, forrr such a display, speak loud and prrroud and tell me yourrr grrreatest desirrre beforrre you are cast away from my domain.”
Maximillion looked at Xandy, who offered her a knowing nod, fully expecting her to ask for a footlong dick. However… now that she had 10 inches in her pants, snugly wrapped against her jeans, she did not really need an extra 2. What, in all the universe, was her greatest desire? She had plenty of money, was friends with the divine, and had access to both a body swapper and two different bodies to wear as she pleased. Truly, she did not want for much… but as she looked at all the creatures around her, from regular people to literal talking animals, she knew what her greatest desire was. Seeing what the other Maxxies gotten up to previously had spurred her imagination, and now, she could make it a reality, something she could keep with her.
Maximillion: “Thank you, Grand Emperor Pudding. When I entered this tournament, I had one single thing in mind. But after facing off against these four warriors, I believe I’ve had a change of heart. You could even say I’ve grown up a little. What I want might not be the most conventional desire, but… I think it speaks to the real me. Not the Maximillion Alpha Flare you see before you, but the Maxxie Omega Flare I am deep down in the real-real for real.”
Grand Emperor Pudding: “Oh, just say yourrr blasted wish, boy!”
Reaching up to the sky, Maximillion made her wish clear as day. The emperor chuckled at the wish, whether he saw it as benign or eccentric, it was not clear, but with the wave of a hand, he made it so.
Maximillion’s long buff quest had come to an end, her body forever transformed, and with her goal achieved, with no more challengers to fend off, she turned to Xandy who, with a tap of his cane, opened up a portal before her.
Maximillion: “I guess this is goodbye, Sensei.”
Xandy: “Indeed it is, deshi. I hope that our paths one day cross again, but I do not know that for certain.”
Maximillion: “Even if we don’t, I could never hope to forget you. …Or your mean left hook.”
Xandy: “Oh, you flatter me. Now, tally-ho and whatnot. Say hello to Verde for me, and do give your girlfriend a night she shan’t forget.”
Maximillion: “Consider it done, dude! …Until next time, see ya later!”
With a final wave goodbye, Maximillion stepped through the portal, away from this world beyond time and space and back to her home, back to Oransen, with more than a couple boons in tow. How this would affect her life was a bit beyond her at the moment, but like with everything else, that was something she’d have to figure out by doing.
Gaiden July 14th: The Contractually Obligatory Appearance Showcase – Part 1
Date: Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Time: 08:19 CDT (Central Daylight Time)
Location: The Kikansky Residence
The sun was high, the day had begun in earnest, and the people of the Central Daylight time zone were expected to get up and get out there to seize the day. However, some people were still lying in bed such as the inept 19-year-old, Yuccot Kikansky. He laid on his twin-sized bed like a fat log, his ears refusing to heed the word of his alarm clock. The young man merely laid there, his eyes only opening as someone began striking his door with knocks so aggressive you’d swear they were trying to tear it down.
???: “YUCCOT! Get your fat fucking ass out of bed! A real man should rise with the sun, not sleep through every fucking morning!”
The knocking continued until it became impossible for Yuccot to stay lying prone. He tossed off the covers in frustration, clumping them in the corner, and rose up. His body was fat, pasty, sweaty, and naked, with a gut so imposing he couldn’t see his paltry 3 inch penis. With a glance over his room, he reached into his nearby dresser to slap on some underwear, wiggling it over his thighs as he shouted back at the man at his door.
Yuccot: “I’m up, I’m up, calm the fuck down!”
???: “Good! Now be down for breakfast in five fucking minutes! You’re too old to be pulling this shit! Do you know what I was doing when I was your age?”
Yuccot: “Dad, I don’t care what you were doing! I’ll be down in five…”
The sound of the door being punched followed a second later and stomping followed after that.
Yuccot: “Every fuckin’ day…”
Yuccot did as his father demanded and got dressed, throwing on a plain T-shirt and jeans. As he did so, he looked over his room, which was still unusually tidy for someone of his character. Everything was organized on his shelves, he only had a few things carelessly tossed over his floor, and there was no grime or the like built up through his room. Well, aside from a few week’s worth of dust. He thought back to when he swapped bodies with Indira three weeks ago, how he returned to a spotless room.
Yuccot: “So much for that…”
Once dressed, Yuccot plopped out of his bedroom, his overstuffed 161 centimeters and 89 kilogram frame squeaking against the floorboards before finally reaching the front door, where he came face-to-face with his father, Richard “Dick” Kikansky.
While no stranger to The Novus Logs, this particular Dick Kikansky was. He had an almost ghastly white complexion, bereft of color, buzzed white hair, and dead green eyes. Despite being 46-years-old, he was quite built, standing tall at 193 centimeters and weighing 87 kilograms. From the exposed arms of his short-sleeve dress shirt, it was clear that most of this weight was muscle, and with his face looking so grizzled, suffering from so much damage, he looked like an unruly bastard. The type of man who would relish in hurting, if not killing, other people. He scowled at Yuccot, at his son, as their eyes crossed, his sheer disappointment with him palpable through the air itself.
Dick merely scoffed at his son, slamming the door as he left for work, leaving Yuccot at the foot of the stairs and to wander into the kitchen. There, he saw his mother picking up his father’s dishes from their small kitchen table for three, putting them in the sink.
His mother, Susan Kikansky, was pretty much a textbook battered woman. At 40-years-old, she was in Dick’s age range, but she was positively miniscule next to him. She stood at only 155 centimeters— barely five feet tall— and weighed 43 kilograms. She was dangerously underweight, and while she tried to hide this with her willowy summer dress, it was clear looking at her thin arms or her face. Behind a layer of carefully applied makeup, the signs of age, scars of stress, and whatever injuries she had were obscured, but one could tell she was hurting from the way she moved. Susan was a superficially attractive woman, trying to look nice as a piece of arm candy, as a trophy to cement a man’s masculinity, but she had the air of someone who had accepted their chronic pain.
Susan: “Good morning, Yuccot. What may I get you for breakfast?”
Her voice was wavering and weak, and per Yuccot’s response, her intonation made sense
Yuccot: “Fuckin’ nothing, I’ll get it myself!”
Swinging open the fridge to grab some milk and slamming it shut, Yuccot prepared himself a bowl of cereal as aggressively as he could while Susan idly cleaned up from what appeared to be Dick’s breakfast, not making eye contact with her son. Yuccot stared at her, at how weak she was, before grabbing his cereal and scarfing it down. As he ate, her looked at his smartphone, is only so he didn’t need to look at his mother, when he received a text message, reminding him of a doctor’s appointment he had scheduled in an hour.
With a groan and muttered “fuck” to himself, Yuccot poured the rest of the cereal and milk down his gullet and stormed out, leaving the bowl on the table as he got ready to leave. Susan gingerly grabbed the bowl and brought it to the sink, rinsing the food residue out into the drain as she felt a sharp pain pulse through her hand, nearly dropping the bowl. She groaned, sighed, and just kept pushing on, for that was the only thing she could do.
Gaiden July 14th: The Contractually Obligatory Appearance Showcase – Part 2
Date: Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Time: 09:41 CDT (Central Daylight Time)
Location: NorthShore Immediate Care Center – Oransen
After his two kilometer walk to the NorthShore Immediate Care Center, Yuccot was sweating like a hog, with stained pits, a wet face, and predictably rank odor. Despite this, the Eastern European woman at the front desk sent him to one of the many examination rooms where he sat in a chair, waiting for his damn doctor to finally show up. As a temperamental young men, he did not have a designated doctor, and had not bothered learning their name, preferring to futz around on his phone as he waited for the door to open. When it did, he was greeted with none other than Ruby Blitz.
Standing short at 163 centimeters and plump at 68 kilograms, the 27-year-old Ruby Blitz stood confidently as she entered, dressed in her white coat and a loose top that gave a generous view of her cleavage. She was a Black woman with coiled hair nestled into a bun, with curly bangs dripping onto her forehead and a full figure all around. Definitely not the textbook image of a doctor, especially with pants tightly tugging her thick bottom, leaving nothing to the imagination, but it was 2015. Doctors came in all shapes, shades, and sizes.
Ruby moved herself with a comfort and ease, muttering a greeting as she checked over her clipboard and stood before Yuccot.
Ruby: “Good morning mister… Yuccot Kikansky. I’m Doctor Blitz, and you’re here for your routine physical.”
Yuccot: “Yeah, I guess. I’m just here because my stupid health insurance company made me…”
Ruby: “Well, it’s good to get a physical once a year, just to make sure everything looks alright, and you…”
Yuccot: “Yeah, yeah, I know I’m fucking obese.”
The crudeness of his wording was enough for Ruby to snicker.
Ruby: “Well, checking your BMI… pretty much. You probably already know that this is a problem. You need to watch what you eat. Watch what you do. Stop eating so many fatty foods, exercise more. I’m not a dietician, and I’m not really one to breach the virtues of being skinny. You can be comfortably healthy while being overweight. But obesity, especially at your age, is a problem.”
Yuccot: “You think I don’t know that?”
Ruby: “Yuccot, I’m sure you feel it when you get up in the morning. As a doctor, it’s my job to get on my patients’ asses about not being healthy. And as you can see, I’m not some skinny little twig. Being fat isn’t a failure of health or morals like some of my teachers seemed to think. But at this rate, you’re risking serious health issues that could affect you the rest of your life. I don’t like to scare kids like you, but unless you change how you live your life, you could wind up a lifelong diabetic. Do you know what that means?”
Yuccot: “I gotta shoot myself up with insulin and shit?”
Ruby: “Not necessarily, but that is one outcome. While your insurance will cover insulin— thank god for healthcare reforms— do you really want to jam a needle inside yourself every day? Do you want to completely block off certain foods from your diet? I know I wouldn’t.”
While Yuccot knew that Ruby was talking sense, and not trying to preach to him the same way certain teachers did, espousing the inherent virtues of education, he merely scowled at her. He didn’t want to let this woman tell him how to live his life. He didn’t want anybody to tell him how to live his life.
Yuccot: “Yeah, yeah, I know all of this crap, but I’m still going to live the way I wanna live.”
Ruby: “…Seriously? You… you said you were fine on the mental health survey, that things were good at home, that you weren’t feeling depressed, but I’m starting to think you might not be telling me the whole truth. Everything you say here is confidential, and if anything strange happened to you recently, changed how you viewed life, I would like to know. Like I said, helping people is my literal job.”
Ruby was clearly trying to cater to Yuccot. She could tell that being fake around someone as fiery as him would not work, and she had never been the most aloof when it comes to patient communications. However, Yuccot just stewed in his seat, waiting to be set free, until she mentioned anything strange happening. He once again remembered the week he spent swapped with Indira and how he swapped back on June 24th. He had undergone what could or should have been a life-changing experience, and all he did was lie around gorging himself, jerking off, and making sure to hide that thing in Oz Park. Thinking back to his hiding place, he unconsciously smiled.
Yuccot: “…Nah. Nothing else to say. Can I go now?”
With an exaggerated eye roll and planting a hand on her wide hips, Ruby gestured to the door.
Ruby: “First you need to visit the phlebotomist down the hall to get your blood drawn. Once we get your blood and do your vitals, you should be all good. Just… please keep what we talked about in mind and contact me if you have any questions.”
The expression on Ruby’s face made it clear that she was holding back some insult for Yuccot, but he did not seem to mind. He merely got up from his seat and did was requested, groaning at the idea of getting a blood test. Once he was gone, Ruby sighed, pacing around the room to clear her head.
Yuccot: “Ugh. This job is great when seeing nice people who want to stay healthy, but… there’s at least one ‘Yuccot Kikansky’ in every town in America.”
Gaiden July 14th: The Contractually Obligatory Appearance Showcase – Part 3
Date: Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Time: 13:37 CDT (Central Daylight Time)
Location: Burger Queen, Oransen
Following getting his blood drawn, Yuccot schlepped his way over to Burger Queen to begin his 11:00 shift. Following the initial lunch rush, things had slowed down to a relative crawl, but the corporate handbook kept him busy on the grill, flipping burgers, plopping them on buns, wrapping them up, and loading them under the heat lamp. It was routine nonsense he had done for weeks, and was just going through the motions, letting the sweat pile up in his shirt as he leered at his fellow employees. Juniper Funkatron was busy frying the fries and prepping a couple other things, while another usual co-worker was running the drive thru, taking orders about every five minutes. Yuccot had not been through this doldrums for more than a few weeks, yet he was so very much done with it.
Yuccot: “Fuck, I feel like a damn machine doing this over and over again!”
Juniper: “Yeah, that’s the point. They design this work for machines, but machines aren’t sophisticated enough to do all this without breaking apart, so they pay us minimum wage plus 75 cents to do this. It sucks, but at least it’s something.”
Yuccot: “…What are you even doing here again?”
Juniper: “Same as you, Yuccot. Working for money.”
Yuccot: “No, dumbass. Why are you here today? It’s not a holiday or anything…”
Juniper: “Because someone called in sick, and this was the best job I could get lined up. It’s not really worth it, even with an extra two bucks an hour, but that’s Chicago Freeters for you. Sometimes you only make a hundred bucks a day, other times you can make thrice that.”
Allusions to making $300 a day were enough to get Yuccot musing about this Chicago Freeters thing… before realizing that you needed either a car or ready access to public transportation to use it. Yuccot lacked the former and didn’t want to bother with the latter.
Yuccot: “So, where’s Gregg?”
Juniper: “I don’t know, I’m not his keeper. He probably took a job elsewhere. We’re normally not a package deal.”
Yuccot: “Yeah, but you were on the Fourth of July, and you were acting all fucked up. Gregg was walking like a fag, you were walking like a guy, and with all of those potheads, I figured they shared their stash with you or something.”
Juniper: “No, no, I don’t bother with weed nowadays. Just regular old American liquor.”
Yuccot: “Then what was going on with you?”
At this time, they had loaded up enough stuff under the heat lamp that Yuccot and Juniper had time to lean, so there was no good way out of this conversation.
Juniper: “Uh… let’s just say that I didn’t feel like myself, like my body was moving on its own.”
For the third time today, Yuccot thought back to the week he spent swapped with Indira. If nothing else, this proved to him, without a shadow of a doubt, that body swapping was real. So, perhaps…
Yuccot: “What, did you and Gregg swap bodies or something?”
Immediately, Juniper froze. She could not believe that Yuccot, this super senior dumbass, was able to guess it in one. This had to be a joke, so Juniper played it off as one.
Juniper: “Pfft. What? No! Body swapping isn’t real. That’s just in cartoons and movies. Grow up, dude.”
Yuccot: “Nah, it’s real. I’ve swapped bodies.”
With the power and intensity of a car crash, the wheels of Juniper’s brain stopped yet again, and she slowly looked at Yuccot’s face, seeing him stare at her with his same old mug.
Juniper: “…You what?”
Yuccot: “Yeah, with some Indian chick named Indira, she was fortysomething and had the house to herself, so I did what any teenage boy would do. But she just had to fuck up my life, trying to make me all proper and shit, tricking my parents into thinking I’d ‘turned over a new leaf.’ But at least she got me this job. It’s better than McMoe’s, I guess.”
Juniper: “…Sorry, Yuccot, are you just fucking with me? You need to tell me if you’re fucking with me.”
Yuccot: “Bitch, it’s true, and it was awesome! Women got it so fucking lucky. They can just lounge around all day, fuck themselves with their toys, and keep cumming over and over again, while doing whatever. As a dude, you need to focus to cum, but as a girl? Nah, just shove shit in there and you’ll be squirting every 15 minutes. Did that while doing a three-hour CoD marathon, with a pizza on by. Best night I’ve had in who the fuck knows how long.”
Though she had only worked with Yuccot a few times, she knew his schtick well enough to know that he was serious and had MANY questions. Such as how or why or if Verde, who she properly met only two days ago, had arranged this. Alas, they were interrupted by a group of four customers walking in through the door.
Maximillion lead the pack, standing tall and wearing only a tank top and shorts, looking like she was ready to throw down for some sports or battle. Next to her was Haruhiko, the newest form for Haruki, looking fashionable with a black midriff exposing tank top that hung loose enough to not draw emphasis to her tiny breasts. Her legs were both long and skinny, enhanced by a pair of hotpants that snugly wrapped around her flared hips. A purse was hanging off of her shoulder, with a design conservative and fat enough to look like a messenger bag. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail, exposing her handsome yet androgynous face in all its glory. Shiaka was off to one side, wearing a simple summer dress and looking as cute as a button. While Terra was trailing behind the group, wearing a T-shirt and shorts, looking around awkwardly.
Juniper: “Oh, hey! Welcome to Burger Queen, and you… you look strangely familiar.”
Yuccot: “Yeah, the blonde girl’s Shiaka. Knew her from high school, she’s some—”
Juniper: “Yuccot, remember these are our customers, so don’t say anything mean. And… Yeah, Shiaka was it? …Weren’t you here ten days ago?”
Shiaka: “O-Oh, so you did recognize me back then, I was…”
Maximillion: “Hold on, Yuccot, are you saying you don’t recognize me?”
As she spoke, Maximillion planted an arm on the counter, slightly shaking it with her plentiful strength.
Yuccot: “Am I s’posta? I would remember a guy like you. Probably would be on the football team or something.”
Maximillion: “Huh? For real? You don’t recognize Maximillion Flare?”
Yuccot: “Flare? What, are you the brother of that furry dyke who—”
Juniper: “YUCCOT! You can’t say slurs here. This is a Burger Queen. I’m so sorry for him, he’s still new here.”
Recognizing that Yuccot was going to be a problem, Juniper dragged him away, out of the kitchen, and into the back room to give him a good shouting to. The four looked on with some sense of satisfaction, seeing a bigoted man get punished.
Haruhiko: “…Uh, how does he remember the other you?”
Maximillion: “That’s what I wanna know! You guys didn’t add Yuccot to the posse while I was away, did you?”
Shiaka: “I definitely wouldn’t want anything to do with him…”
Terra: “Hmm… they are registered users in the VD 2.0, just at the bottom of the registered user list.”
The group of three clamored over Terra’s VD 2.0 to confirm this. Sure enough, the registered user list included Yuccot Kikansky, Gregg Darn, and Juniper Funkatron, with no indication of who registered them or when.
Haruhiko: “Hmm… Shit, that does. Did Verde do that when we went on that bender here?”
Shiaka: “That makes the most sense…”
Maximillion: “Eh? Why would she want to add that dumbass to the Posse? I can’t imagine anyone wanting to be Yuccot of all people.”
As the group of four was mulling over this matter, Yuccot and Juniper both wandered out of the break room, Yuccot looking pissed and Juniper exhausted. Yuccot approached Maximillion, looking like he was about to give a forced apology, before Haruhiko shoved herself forward.
Haruhiko: “Hold it, Yuccot! Do you recognize me, or the name Haruhiko Kurokawa?”
Upon saying that, Haruhiko struck a pose like she was a fashion model, hoping that would trigger some memory in Yuccot. Instead, Yuccot just looked confused.
Yuccot: “No, I don’t have any idea who you are. But there was that Haruki chick at Oransen High, raving about how she was hot shit or something.”
Juniper: “Uh, sorry to interrupt, but are you saying that you, Haruhiko, are actually Haruki?”
Haruhiko: “Excatamundo! I think I turned out pretty nice, don’tcha think?”
Juniper: “Uh, I wouldn’t know, I’m not from Oransen and—”
Yuccot: “Huh? Didja get a cock in Bangkok?”
Juniper: “YUCCOT!”
Yuccot: “What? That’s where you go to get a dick or a pussy!”
Haruhiko was just laughing at this exchange, Maximillion too, while Shiaka and Terra were mulling in the background, looking at their older sisters, then at themselves, before sharing in a sisterly sigh of embarrassment.
Terra: “Hey, uh, Max, could we just get what we came here for and leave?”
Maximillion: “Wuzzat? …Oh, right. People normally get food at restaurants. How ditzy of me. Uh, lemme get a bucket of fries, bucket of onion rings, bucket of chicken nuggies— all party size— and one of your chocolate cakes.”
Juniper: “Sure thing, but, uh, please tell me you’re not going to ‘you know what’ with that cake.”
Haruhiko: “Nah, we’re all sober. No cake fucking on our watch.”
Maximillion: “Yeah, I tried it with a cupcake, and it was a patently mediocre time.”
Yuccot: “The fuck are you—”
Juniper: “YUCCOT! Your speaking privileges have been revoked for the next five minutes. Go prepare their buckets.”
With harsh words and a death stare, Yuccot promptly shut his mouth and got back to his job, loading up hour-old fried foods into a series of wide paper buckets.
Juniper: “Okay, and you can just grab a cake from the freezer. Anything else?”
Haruhiko: “Yeah, my card.”
Digging into her purse, Haruhiko produced a business card and handed it to Juniper, who looked on it with confusion. It featured a small illustration by Haruhiko along with a business phone number and a list of her many credentials. Artist, designer, writer, translator, programmer, and consultant. Juniper had no need for any of these services, but then Haruhiko whispered into her ear.
Haruhiko: “If you ever want to swap bodies with your ‘boy toy’ again, or spend a couple days as a man, give me a call.“
Haruhiko then slapped down $50, a fair bit more than what the order cost, and grabbed the three buckets of snacks from the counter. With Shiaka carrying the cake and Maximillion waving goodbye, the four left Burger Queen behind, this time without making a complete mess. Juniper looked on with confusion and a speck of wonder. Fully knowing deep down that she enjoyed her swap with Gregg more than she would ever care to admit. Before Juniper could lose her focus, she shoved the business card into her back pocket and returned to work, immediately turning to see Yuccot.
Yuccot: “They’re gone?”
Juniper: “They’re gone. But… I’m curious about something. You said that you swapped bodies with a woman. As in, that actually happened.”
Yuccot: “Nah, I was just lying. …Of course, it happened!”
Juniper: “Well, I have to wonder. What if instead of swapping bodies, you could change your sex. You know, become a girl for a few days or—”
Yuccot: “UGH! No. The world has enough fat chicks, and I don’t need to be one of them.”
As a woman of such girth that the term fat would not be inappropriate, Juniper looked at him, looked at the fries in oil before them, and thought about making the two meet, just for a split second.
Juniper: “…Never mind. Let’s just pretend like this never happened.”
Yuccot: “Fine by me!”
With that, Yuccot went back to lounging around as Burger Queen’s slow afternoon crawl continued, yet Juniper was not as disinclined. She thought back to what this “Maximillion” looked like and this “Maxxie” looked like ten days ago. If a change of sex can lead to a glow up like that, or produce someone as handsome as Haruhiko… then her interest was piqued. …And she smiled as she imagined what Gregg’s colorful reaction to this would be.
As the Burger Queen workers mulled over their encounter, the quartet of Maximillion, Haruhiko, Shiaka, and Terra were all loaded up in Maximillion’s car with foostuffs in tow and Maximillion ready to ride. Maximillion was naturally at the wheel, and after taking a minute to adjust her seat, she started rolling.
Maximillion: “And we’re off! Another week, another cause to celebrate! I beat up a Space Nazi in the Strongest Under the Heavens Tournament! Shi-Shi started both an office job and went to a nightclub, big ups for that! Haruhiko died beating up a body swapping ghost—”
Haruhiko: “I was supposed to just go on a vacation, but I guess I did.”
Maximillion: “And Terra did something special at Lake Geneva during her little holiday.”
Terra: “Huh? Wh-What are you talking about? I just kissed a boy a bunch and had some fun doing that and—”
Maximillion: “You don’t have to say it. Just know that you smell different now, and it’s not just my new, handsomer, nose.”
Haruhiko: “Yeah! I was so proud when I smelled it on Shi-Shi… even if Zoe was in her body at the time. Gawd, to lose your V-card in the body of your lover, there’s something romantic about that.”
Shiaka: “H-Haruki— Haruhiko, could you please not bring this up right now?”
Terra: “A-And like I said, nothing happened, we don’t need to start acting like something did.”
Maximillion: “Alright, Sis. Just know that Maxxie, no matter what shape she’s in, is here for you!”
Terra: “I know. That’s what I’m afraid of.”
Gaiden July 14th: The Contractually Obligatory Appearance Showcase – Part 4
Date: Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Time: 14:20 CDT (Central Daylight Time)
Location: The Flare Residence
With their Burger Queen haul in tow, Maximillion, Haruhiko, Shiaka, and Terra all made their way to the backyard of the Flare residence, shielded from the outside world by tall fences and taller trees, with their food spread before them for the munching. However, the slight majority of all food was being gobbled up by Maximillion, downing everything like her stomach never ended. She scarfed down a piece of cake the size of her plate in just a few bites, letting out a loud, debatably masculine, belch as it hit her stomach.
Maximillion: “Oh yeah! That’s the good stuff!”
Terra: “Maybe you should have had something more filling than cake after your tournament…”
Maximillion: “Oh please. Have you been swapping with Babs behind my back? ‘Cos you’re sure talking like her! …For real though, I’m just crazy hungry after beating up all them fools.”
Haruhiko: “About that… could you tell me a bit more about that futanari? That sounds—”
Shiaka: “C-Could we not while we’re eating.”
Haruhiko: “Fine, fine…”
A few seconds of silent eating this meal of snacks and cake followed before Terra resume the conversation.
Terra: “S-So, you spent quite a while as a guy, haven’t you, Maxxie?”
Maximillion: “Sure have! I forget the exact timescale. When in a big empty room with only a dinosaur sensei, it’s easy to forget which direction time’s supposed to be flowing. But it’s been a good while. Two months at a minimum!”
Terra: “I… I see. And it seems that you like it, but do you like it—”
As the gears in Maximillion’s noggin clicked into space, she slammed her hands on the floor, nearly knocking over the party buckets of food.
Maximillion: “OH! Yeah, I should’ve figured you’d have questions about that, Sis. You’re prolly a bit concerned that your big sis likes spending so much time as a dude and are starting to think she might prefer it. Lemme tell you this straight up, as a forever truth. I am Maxxisaurus Omega Flare! I am a woman, I am she, and I am plenty happy about that. …But I also like being a hot buff dude from time to time. I’m tall, strong, feel like I can do everything— even with my superpowers gimped. And while I know I look like a primo jock, that ain’t who I am deep down, and not the vibe I’m trying to rep. Plus, I tried playing video games with these hands, and drawing stuff and, uh, it’s not that comfy. These hands were made for punching. Not for the craftings of an artisté.”
Terra: “I… think I understand. I know how awkward it is to use another woman’s hands, and using man hands like that… I can imagine that’s harder than it would seem. So, when are you going back to being your regular self, or—”
Maximillion: “I’ll be back to my regular self after I have my fill. Believe it or not, I’m still hungry like a wolf after all that fighting. How many Calories does it take to power a ki blast? The world may never know!”
As Maximillion and Terra veered off into their usual bent of conversation, Haruhiko and Shiaka began their own parallel discussion. Ever since they sat down, Shiaka had been eyeing Haruhiko’s form up and down. How tall they are at 175 centimeters, how skinny they are at 66 kilograms, how much lighter their skin was compared to the tan hue they always had, and how… androgynous they were. Her face was one thing, but the ambiguity was only aided by how the impressions of both breasts and a penis laid on their person.
Haruhiko: “Shi-Shi, my baby blues are up here.”
Haruhiko pointed to her blue eyes as she caught Shiaka staring at her junk. Shiaka recoiled and redirected her gaze accordingly.
Shiaka: “S-Sorry, I’m still getting used to your new look, and—”
Haruhiko: “Puh-lease, you think I dislike having people stare at me? Let alone my own sister? It might not be everything I could have asked for, but I think I’m gonna love this body. It’s not as comfy as regular old Haruki, just having my fat ass load into a chair is an unmatched pleasure, but this is everything I could have wanted from Haruya and then some. I never would have thought to not make myself a sexy man, make my hair this long, or throw in these perky little things. But taking it all in… this is straight dope. …And that’s before getting into the race stuff.”
To punctuate her point, Haruhiko moved from the shaded table they were sitting in and into the sunlight, where the lightness of their skin was all the more prominent.
Haruhiko: “Something that’s always pissed me off, and you know this, is how I have a Japanese name, I am half-Japanese, but I never looked the part. When I went to Japan, I spoke the language as well as a foreigner could, was trying to blend in as much as possible, but nobody— not a single damn person— saw me as Japanese. I don’t need to tell you how much I love Japan— always have. So being denied half of my damn race was something that never sat right with me, and it made proving who I was a pain far too many times. It’s not a unique story. People of different races, a mixed background, always ride the line between the social constructs of race, of the ethnic privileges they hold in a given environment, and when you throw in how I was comfortably fat, that just made things worse.”
As Haruhiko veered into the second half of her tirade, she began to simmer down, but not entirely.
Haruhiko: “I didn’t want to change who I was, as a rule, to put in all this effort of whitening my skin, losing weight, and doing all this bullshit just to appease the brainwormed masses. I am me, and I won’t let any society tell me otherwise. But with Verde’s help, I can now experience being someone who, never in a million years, would anyone think was the same person as Haruki. Sure, you can point to the cheeks, the nose, and little facial features that I got from Dad. But with Haruhiko now at my beck and call, I feel like I can become a whole different person while still being me. And that’s awesome!”
Following the end of her speech, Maximillion smacked her hands together in loud hearty claps, and was soon joined by Shiaka and Terra, forming a modest set of applause for Haruhiko.
Haruhiko: “Danke, arigato, gracias, you’re all far too kind!”
After taking a bow, Haruhiko returned to the shade, sitting next to Shiaka, and wrapping her arm around her. Shiaka flinched, and from the look on Haruhiko’s face, she was switching to serious mode.
Haruhiko: “And all of that stuff about race is before getting into people like you. Japanese name, Japanese look for the most part, but with your blonde hair and blue eyes. You are beautiful, you are unique, you are Shiaka, and while some people will never approve of that, of how you break the rules, you should always love who you are. And… if you want to change that, Verde’s pretty nice about accommodating us. Don’t get me wrong. She’s a crazy bitch, but was the abuse and gunshot worth walking away with a body like this? …Yeah!”
Saying no more, Haruhiko wrapped her arms around Shiaka, joining her in a hug and squeezing her tight with her new stronger, yet slimmer, arms.
Shiaka: “Th-Thanks, Haruhiko. And, uh, it’s a bit too soon to plan this, but when the summer is over— after my first semester of college— maybe over spring break— can we—”
Haruhiko: “Plan a trip to Japan together? I was hoping you would have the courage to venture away like that. Ah! My little Shi-Shi is growing sooo strong!”
Seconds after the first hug, the second hug came through with a vengeance, harder and full of more sisterly love than the first one. Seeing their affection, Maximillion decided to do the same thing with Terra, hugging her as gently as she could with all of her muscles, and Terra… she was just happy knowing her sister’s heart still beat beyond this wall of cold muscles.
The four relished in this moment of affection, only for it to be interrupted by someone entering from the back gate. They stood in caution, wondering who it could be, before happening on the familiar face of Reyn. With waves and greetings, he approached the group of four, making a beeline for Maximillion.
Maximillion: “Hey Reyn! It’s been a minute. How’d it go holding down the fort?”
Reyn: “Huh? Maxxie, erm, Maxwell, or… what is it—”
Maximillion: “Maximillion!”
Reyn: “Maximillion. Not much happened has here, I was just getting settled in Caroline’s place.”
Maximillion: “Oh, to think that someone else is moving into Darling’s home before me.”
Reyn: “Heh. Anyway, I was in the neighborhood and figured I’d check out what you look like now… And Haru… hiko too.”
Maximillion: “Like what you see?”
With an excuse to flex her muscles, Maximillion began doing just that, posing before Reyn while he clearly compared Maximillion to his mind’s image of Maxxie, overlaying the two.
Reyn: “I’ve seen some of my students go all in on workouts when they started sports… but this is on another level.”
Haruhiko: “And what about me, teach? Can you even see a speck of the old Haruki in here?”
Reyn just took a glance at Haruhiko’s thin, fit, and distinctly Japanese figure and shook his head.
Reyn: “I can’t say I do. Verde’s powers truly let you do some amazing things, I suppose…”
Maximillion: “Her powers were a catalyst, but I worked for these muscles! Haruhiko just died though.”
Haruhiko: “What? Is that just my defining character trait now? I died and became hot?”
Maximillion: “…Am I even wrong?”
Haruhiko: “You are technically correct—”
Maximillion: “Ah yes, and that, as the fathers say, is the best kind of correct.”
Concluding their little schtick, Maximillion and Haruhiko yucked it up, laughing at their shared sense of humor as they wrapped arms around each other. This simple act of touch swiftly triggered something in their minds, a thought that should have been obvious upon sight, yet only enraptured them now of all times.
Haruhiko: “Max!”
Maximillion: “Haru!”
Haruhiko: “We have these bodies, and you know what we can do with them?”
Maximillion: “Oh yeah, I know what we can do with them.”
Haruhiko: “We had a blast a month ago…”
Maximillion: “And instead of fat dude fucking, we’re gonna be able to screw as sexy guys. Sorry Jade, but a man’s libido is not a thing to be trifled with.”
Haruhiko: “Well, if we’re in agreement, then I think it’s settled.”
Maximillion: “Ditto.”
Maximillion & Haruhiko: “LET’S FUCK!”
Following that bold declaration, the two ran back into the Flare residence and its many, many rooms open for any manner of sexual misadventures, eager to see what their new bodies could do in bed. As they departed, Shiaka and Terra stared at each other, sighing with an embarrassment only knowable to little sisters, before feeling a strong hand land on both of their shoulders.
Reyn: “Those two were always free spirits. I’m glad they found each other…”
Terra: “…Miss Underwood, both you and Caroline know more about switching sexes than anyone here… Do you think my sister is going to get over this?”
Reyn: “Terra, your sister is the only one who can answer that, but I think so. I was always her English teacher, and I saw how she reacted to books. How she loved pursuing her own crazy ideas when writing. And, for what it’s worth, I don’t think she’ll prefer being a man. I was never the most feminine person, but Maxxie flaunted it, she embraced it, and did it in her own way. She was not following some template or trends, she was always a trailblazer at being herself. Haruki… was pretty much the same, always pursuing things her way, while never feeling the need to shy away from her status as a girl.”
Looking down at himself, Reyn paused before continuing, thinking over how he came to the conclusion that he is he. That snowy day, that white fox, and that cave of discovery. Even now, he did not know what that was all about, but… did it matter? It helped him become him.
Reyn: “Though, gender, sexuality, all of these things are murky, they are not finite, not regimented, they ebb, flow, and shift as one experiences more. Hell, I’m living proof of that. I hated the idea of being a man at first and now… I am one. Yet, I am still me. No matter the gender, no matter the form, people are who they are, and they are always changing. Literally speaking, not all change is good, but change should not be feared either. People should grow, they should expand, and I know both of you know this intuitively. I can’t tell you what to do, but my advice is to support your sisters while they do what they want to do. And both of you… keep growing. Because I have seen how my students grow, and I can tell you’re both going to be fantastic.”
Terra and Shiaka nodded along as Reyn finished his statement, feeling comforted by his words. While there was no conclusion to be had… that wasn’t a bad thing. That meant there was merely room for more to grow, to breathe, and to explore. The three looked up at the sky as they realized how many possibilities remained. …Even in this summer. They still had another month to go before it was all over, and who knows how much they would change during that.
It was a tranquil and thoughtful moment… that Reyn ended as he flinched and recalled something completely unrelated.
Reyn: “Oh, right, and I almost forgot. Verde’s hosting a party here tomorrow, to welcome Jade and Caroline back home.”
Terra: “What? Why here? Doesn’t Verde have her own house?”
Shiaka: “And another party? This whole summer is party after party.”
Reyn: “I think it’s just an excuse for us all to get together and for Verde to perform. I’ve met with her a few times this past week and… I still don’t know what to make of her. She can be lonely, vulnerable, even a bit tragic when talking about her past… but she is also a deranged hypersexual misanthrope who will cause chaos under the pretense that it makes people better.”
Reyn looked up at the sky after he said that, thinking back to his latest dinner with Verde, and the sight of her sobbing into her palms. Seeing her like that, seeing everything she did for the Swap Posse… it made it hard to even consider hating her.
Reyn: “If you’ll excuse me, I need to work out my lesson plan for this year. It should be easy, but I keep on double thinking everything these days. …Have fun, kids.”
Alone in the backyard, Shiaka and Terra looked up at the sky again, wondering what was next for them. Terra was sheepish about the truth, but in her heart she knew what happened with Rakim at Geneva Lake. Her truth was hidden, a secret obvious to some, yet she still wished to relish it, stew over what happened, and use that to achieve the growth she has wanted… since she landed in Caroline’s body.
While Shiaka had a long-term plan she was confident in. everything she’s done this summer has only pushed her further than she thought she could each, and at such profound speeds. With her ever strengthening self, her family, and her friends, she could achieve her heart’s desires. And that… that made her feel all cozy inside.
Sensing that both had enough time to mull over these personal matters, Shiaka and Terra made their goodbyes, parting ways as they returned to their homes, enjoying some alone time before whatever madness Verde had in store for them tomorrow.
Verde’s Doohickey 2.0 Main Page
Act 1: SwitchY Swap
May 16th: Prom Pomf Pomf Preview
May 29th: Enter Verde’s Doohickey 2.0
May 30th: Let’s Get Swappin’
May 31st: Flare Family Fiasco
June 1st: Graduation Day
June 2nd: The Kurokawa ‘Sisters’
June 3rd: My Day As Zoe Xing
June 4th: Love in Seoul
June 5th: Sister Mother and Sister Daughter
June 6th: Back 2.0 Basics
June 7th: Assembling the Posse
June 8th: Anita Neukar in… Vivi Gaimz
June 9th: Mother Daughter Heart-2.0-Heart
June 10th: Daisuke and Paz in… Wacked Up Wednesday
June 11th: VAG Swap
June 12th: Terra’s Tomorrow
June 13th: Haruki’s Birthday Bash
Act 2: CHAOTIC CHANGES
June 14th: Jade and the Kuro Abigale Quinlans
June 15th: Aku_Mako’s E3 2015 Rundown – Day Zero
June 16th: Transform Sex Power
June 17th: Erotic Blitz
June 18th: An Evening At The Local Water Park
June 19th: Date Night Cubed
June 20th: Chicago Diamond Symphonia
June 21st: The Father’s Day Resurrection Special
June 22nd: Nazz and Liang Do Flare Industries
June 23rd: The Kurokawa Family Visits the Museum of Science and Industry
June 24th: Whatever Happened to… Yuccot Kikansky?
June 25th: A World Where The Gamers Won
June 26th: Bond Xing
June 27th: SSS – Sizzling Sexual Summer
June 28th: Lesbians 2.0 Gay Boys
June 29th: Caroline and Raiyne’s Cabin Logs
ACT 3: WORLDLY WONDERS
July 1st: We Lost the Remote in Tokyo!
July 2nd: Maid Café Mishaps
July 3rd: Pier Parties and Peaceful Palavers
July 4th: The Freedom To Get High At Burger Queen!
July 5th: From Nippon With Love
July 6th: Let’s Go Mexico with Haruya ‘n’ Da Boyz! Episode 1
July 7th: Jade & Caroline’s Austrian Adventure Episode 1
July 8th: Max’s Buff Quest Episode 1
July 9th: Let’s Go Mexico with Haruya ‘n’ Da Boyz! Episode 2
July 10th: Jade & Caroline’s Austrian Adventure Episode 2
July 11th: Max’s Buff Quest Episode 2
July 12th: Let’s Go Mexico with Haruya ‘n’ Da Boyz! Episode 3
July 13th: Jade & Caroline’s Austrian Adventure Episode 3
July 14th: Max’s Buff Quest Episode 3
July 15th: Utage Three-Point-Oh!