Disclaimer: This novel contains adult material including sexually explicit activities, strong language, homophobic language, extreme violence, suicide, depictions of trauma, and more. Reader discretion is advised.
The Dominance of Abigale Quinlan
Shard 08: The Erotic Fantasy
(Osananajimi;Myself Part 3700)
My head was swirling. It was like I had just been shot through the air, spinning in every which way, before landing in a mountain of wet cotton. The surrounding air was damp and humid, my body felt dry yet moisturized, and I could hear a harsh fan. As I crept my eyes open, it became clear that I was in a bathroom. Cold tile brushed against my feet and legs, my back laid on a soft yet thin rug, and the entire room had a soft blue coat of paint. I took a deep breath as I looked down from the ceiling overhead… only to realize that I did not recognize this room, at all.
Panic sent me jolting off the floor, and my hand quickly found its way to a sink. I used the furnishing to lift myself up, where I, predictably, was met with a mirror. I did not look at it and instead focused on the room itself, darting my head about from wall to wall as I got my bearings, before I finally returned to the glass before me, where I saw Maxxie. Well, Maxxie, except… something about her was different.
Her stylishly unkempt hairstyle was traded for a series of natural curls that billowed past her shoulders. Her face was peppered with the same freckles that had clustered her nose and cheeks since the day I met her, yet something about her face looked… thinner. Her cheekbones were more pronounced, while her cheeks were slimmer, and the way that her face naturally rested as I looked back at it was… slightly unusual.
I shook my head as I realized my narrow fixation and recognized that I was in Maxxie’s body yet again. It had been nearly five months, and… it felt like putting on a cozy sweater after being forced to wear t-shirts because of the summer heat. The warmth and coziness that I felt when I was first in Maxxie’s body came back to me, and I shut my eyes for a moment to relish in it.
I held onto the sink as I breathed, feeling her body move with every inhale and exhale. The air flowing in through her nostrils, down her throat, and through her chest, her breasts shifting slightly with every breath. A pleasant chill followed, spreading through her arms, abdomen, and legs, allowing me to acclimate to my new sensory homunculus just from the flow of blood.
I opened my eyes and was met with my smiling reflection. It was a look of timidness and awkwardness I had seldom ever seen on Maxxie’s visage, and one that I found… enticing. As I adjusted my position, I pressed a bare foot against the tile below. This sent a cold chill through my person and brought me back to reality.
“Right… where am I and why am I Maxxie again?”
As I spoke, I was met with Maxxie’s voice, yet… it lacked the same chipperness she usually had when she spoke. It sounded… more restrained, a bit lower, and… more mature?
“Oh— Duh! Of course, how could I not see it, I’m Maxxie, but I’m an… older Maxxie? She still looks like herself, sounds like herself, but… yeah, I have no idea how old she is just from her reflection… alone.”
I then realized that I was completely naked, and that Maxxie’s breasts were part of my reflection.
“I’m naked… and I just realized that now? Garf! What the bonk’s wrong with… me… Why am I talking… sorta like her? Like I’m pretending to be her… except I’m not, this is just spewing out automatically.”
I then straightened my back and looked at the breasts hanging off of my chest. I bit my lip unconsciously as I looked at them, at nipples and areola, darker than the brown skin surrounding them, and at the scattering of freckles across the upper breasts.
“Okay, so her freckles moved past her shoulders and they’re now on her breasts too? Hm… they look slightly bigger too. Probably not a C-cup, unfortunately, but if— Wait! They’re fucking tits, Jad! You’re not supposed to enjoy looking at them, why is your brain like this now, it’s… Right, when I was in Maxxie’s body, I could feel my resistance to sexy things loosening and while this might feel weird and icky for me, what would she say to comfort me?”
I paused as I recalled the myriad Maxxie-isms floating throughout my mind.
“‘Take it at your own pace, because no matter what, I’ll be there for you?’ Nah, too schmaltzy for this situation? ‘Just go for it?’ Eh, that’s a bit played out. She’d probably say ‘if it feels so good, then it can’t be wrong, so keep it hot, ya hear me?’ Yeah… that one feels right.”
I laughed to myself as I recalled one of our in-jokes before looking down at the naked body before me. While my revulsion to nudity was absent, at least regarding Maxxie’s nudity, that did not mean I didn’t want clothes. After another scan of this room, I saw a pile of clothes placed on the extended sink counter… or at least lingerie. A lacy red bra with a matching panty. I gulped as I grabbed them, but that did not stop me from placing my breasts into the slots of the bra, slowly feeling and buckling the straps, before sliding on the panty around my shapely hips.
“Older Maxxie might have slimmed down a bit, but she’s curvier than ever.”
As I said that, it felt like a wave of heat was injected into my body, filling even my deepest cavity with a welcoming warmth. With my confidence bolstered by clothing, I opened up the door to find out where the flip I was.
I was, almost anticlimactically, met with the sight of a bedroom. One with a ceiling fan emitting a bright light, walls adorned with frames and furnishings, and a queen-size bed in the center. In said bed, I saw a young white man propped up against a pillow, playing some unrecognizable handheld gaming system that barely fit in his hands. He was dressed in nothing but a pair of boxers, his legs had a layer of dark hairs over them, and so too did his chest. Though he was fairly skinny, I noticed some light muscle definition across his frame.
His face was blocked by his handheld, but as I drew closer, I could see past his short brown hair and… I froze.
What I saw was… me. My face, but older, slimmer, and more… masculine… more like him. Yet, at the same time, he had a… gentleness to him. He looked like me, yet… I knew there was no way I would want to look like that at his age in his… late 20s?
I was confused, nervous, and divorced from every shred of confidence I had gathered in the bathroom. He had not noticed me when I came into the bedroom, thanks to the sounds and music escaping from the handheld’s speakers, but as I stood there, he eventually noticed me. As he did, he pressed a button and placed the console on a nightstand.
“You feeling alright, Maxxie?”
His voice was unmistakably mine but, like every part of him, it was more mature, more masculine. I took a step back as I made this discovery, but he— this other Jad— rose from his bed in response. He looked at the distress on my face and, worriedly, walked over to me. I tried to find the words needed to keep him away, but he moved quickly and soon placed his hands on my arms. They were softer than I had expected, but I still flinched as I felt his skin against mine.
“Maxxie, what’s going on? Please, tell me.”
There was not a speck of anger in his voice, just concern and sorrow. And if I was in this other Jad’s position, I would probably react the same way. I took a heavy breath and spoke.
“I’m… I’m not actually Maxxie. I’m… you. I’m Jad. Just… younger. I was 18, went to sleep, and the next thing I knew, I was on the bathroom floor, in… Maxxie’s body.”
“Oh, really? Heh. I thought RP night was tomorrow, but if you want…”
The other Jad spoke with a smug expression at first, but as my expression remained gloomy, he realized something was actually wrong.
“So, this isn’t a ruse, is it, Maxxie?”
“I… I told you, I’m not actually Maxxie, I’m… you, I guess. But, wait, if you’re me, then—”
As I stammered, the other Jad planted a kiss on my forehead, shocking me as I fell into the dresser behind me.
“Oh my gush! I forgot how adorable you were as a kid, J-dee! But please, relax, chill out, and let that stress wash you by, okies?”
“D-Dokies,” I replied, playing into an old in-joke.
“That’s my girl! Well, maybe not yet, but… have you found the VD yet?”
“T-The body switching re—”
“Exactly! Well, you ever use it and think ‘damn, I sure wish that I could live like this forever and never return to my body?’ Because that’s what me, the new Jad, and my wife, the new Maxxie, decided to do about… 7 years ago if I’ve got my math right.”
“…What?” I barked in disbelief.
“Lemme try saying that again. Jad and Maxxie got the VD about a decade ago. They liked swapping bodies for fun and pleasure and shared their good tidings with their bestest— and breastest— buds! But after a few years, Jad and Maxxie came to a little agreement to switch their bodies for a few months, and a few months became a few years. So I used to be the bubbly DBG art gal, but now I’m a slightly less bubbly white dude who draws porn for fun and profit!”
There was… so much to unpack there, but I didn’t even want to think about the connotations of what… Future Jad was saying.
“Then, what am I doing here? I can understand body swapping being a thing from experience, but time travel is—”
“It makes more sense when you aren’t moving things physically through time. It’s kind of like Steins;Gate, where Rintaro’s mind goes back in time. Though, this is definitely more like Shifters from Zero Escape.”
“Heh,” I snickered. “Are Japanese visual novels still the only basis you have for hard sci-fi concepts?”
“Nah, but they’re the most digestible and I like ‘em. Besides, I wanted to use an example you would understand, my wife-to-be.”
“W-What are you saying,” I asked while laughing. “Just because I landed in a timeline where this happened… that doesn’t mean that I’m going to end up swapping with Maxxie. Y-You don’t know that.”
Future Jad then pressed an arm against the wall, inches away from my head, and looked down at my frazzled face.
“Well, call me a jerk for burying the lead, but I’ve known that this would happen for years. I just never knew when exactly.”
“You knew that I would… shift my consciousness into… future Maxxie’s body?”
“Oh yeah, she told me all about it, and how the night we had together is what triggered her desire to make this a loooong-term swap.”
“Well, I don’t see how just being in her more mature body would—”
“—Because this is where you lose your virginity.”
Within my mind, a glass vase was thrown onto the ground, where it shattered into a hundred pieces against a brick wall. My borrowed body sunk down to the hardwood floor below, where my face stood inches away from Future Jad’s dick, erect and pushing against the thin fabric of his boxers.
I had always loathed whenever I happened to get an erection, but I couldn’t help but look onwards at it with a degree of… longing. It looked firm, large, and just seeing it sent a jolt throughout my body… especially what laid between my legs. During all my time in the bodies of women, I have never dared to do anything more than glance at what was resting within my crotch— anything more than dab a bit of toilet paper there after I peed. Yet now, it was as if my vagina was calling out to me, begging for attention, for stimulation.
“I… I don’t know what’s happening to me. I feel like I’m myself, but also… not like myself. I feel like Maxxie is pushing me, easing me into this, but… should I really be doing this?”
“Um, yeah?” Future Jad remarked as he lowered himself to the floor. “Look, I get that you have issues when it comes to sex and the sexual. But… when you feel something easing you out of your comfort zone, would you rather follow that impulse and broaden your horizons, or crawl back into your shell, closing a door?
“…You’re right,” I said with a sigh. “I’m just… I’m just scared is all. I’m scared but… no. FUCK IT!!!”
I stood up from the floor and walked past Future Jad as I made my way to the queen-size bed. I flung my body against its soft embrace as I tried my best attempt at a sexy spread. Future Jad sprung up from the floor in response, his eyes wide as he looked down at me. At me, dressed in lingerie, looking at him with what I could only assume was the most frightened set of bedroom eyes he’d ever seen.
“F-Fuck me, Future Jad! Show me what’s so great and wonderful about the swelling act of sex!”
“Damn! That was easier than I thought. And for a recently converted ace, your pillow talk isn’t half bad. If there are two things that turn me on, it’s women who know exactly what they want, and Jet Set Radio references!”
I knew he was joking with his compliments, but I was too revved up to feel embarrassed. I bit my lips and flared up my cheeks as I saw him chuckle, before I shut my eyes.
“S-Shut up! J-Just strip me, you dummy! Show me what’s so great about sex! Strip me and take my virginity!”
“Yes, ma’am!” Future Jad declared with a familiar goofy salute.
He then threw himself in the bed with me, landing by my side. I wanted to curl up as his face approached mine, but I didn’t. I, deep down, knew that I regretted my missed opportunity and… I did not want to do that again. Even if I wound up hating it as much as I feared, I wasn’t going to run away.
“It’s time for me to man up and get fucked like a lady!”
“Pfft. You’re goldarn right, but first, you’re full of knots, darling. Let your man ease you up before it’s time for the main course.”
As Future Jad uttered those words into my ear, he sent his lips to my slender brown neck, where he began to assault me with a barrage of kisses. Quick pecks, lips only, yet the sound and slight tugging of skin did what he said. It eased me of the tension that had been burning inside of my body. Yet, it did more than ease my worries.
I looked down at my borrowed body, past my lingerie-covered breasts and to the cloth between my legs. It was discolored, and it only took me a single second to piece together why.
As my eyes lingered on this sight of erotic interest, I felt a hand push my head away, where my eyes drifted onto Future Jad’s face. He planted his lips against mine, and I did nothing to resist. Our lips joined, our tongues brushed against each other, and his powerful scent filled my mouth and nostrils. It sent my heart racing yet, as he said, relaxed my muscles, making them malleable and light. So light that Future Jad was able to effortlessly bring a hand around my back and snap open my bra. He flung it onto the headrest a moment later before ending our kiss.
As he repositioned himself, I took a moment to stare down at my chest. I had managed to look at these breasts without any concern when I first woke up in this body, yet now… they became objects of desire. It was as if this borrowed body was begging me to feel them and, with my eyes closed, I did just that. I brought my hands to my ribs and carried them upward as I reached the breast. I felt their pleasant weight in my hands, felt my fingers brushing against my smooth skin, and once my comfort level increased, I finally brought a finger to each nipple. I rubbed them simultaneously, moving the finger in slow circles, while my breathing intensified.
I struggled to find a comparison to this sensation. I had never received a massage before, but it reminded me vaguely of when Maxxie and I were little and got in tickle fights. Darting our fingers against whatever patch of bare skin we could find and making each other squirm. It was warm, comforting, and made me feel as if everything was okay in this world.
I continued this sensation, absentmindedly playing with my borrowed body with my eyes half open and mouth agape, before I felt his hands grab mine. I looked on at him with what had to be a lustful expression, and he positioned himself over me a second later. He looked at me with the eyes of a lover and wasted little time pursuing what he wanted and what I, deep down, desired.
He brought his mouth to my breast, and licked my nipple. The dampness made me jump at first, only for my discomfort to melt as he continued to treat this erogenous zone. First with his tongue, then with his lips, and even his teeth. I bit my tongue and breathed through my nose as the sensation grew stronger with every passing second, yet I held my composure. At least, until he brought a hand to my neglected right nipple. He started with gentle rubbing, priming this tuft of skin, before going in for a light pinch.
“KYAAAAAA!!!”
He did not recoil as I made that noise. Instead, he saw it as a sign to kick it up a notch.
His free right hand gently drifted to my hips, rubbing them softly before a finger latched onto the damp panty protecting my vagina. He tugged it off slowly and, though unfamiliar with my borrowed proportions. I tried to help him by shaking my hips, loosening the panty until it was low enough for him to slide down my legs with a single hand.
I was impressed by his dexterity, managing to do three things at once without faltering in any, and all to… please me. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as I realized this and I could not help but express my gratitude, albeit in a minor way.
“T-Thank you, J-Jad.”
As I said those words of gratitude, Future Jad remove himself from my breasts and brought his face before mine once again
“Heh. So, your panty’s off and I can tell you’re just soaking down there. You want to go for it? You want me to take you for a ride?”
I slapped Future Jad in the face for making such a stupid Marvel vs. Capcom 2 reference.
“Yep, you’re my wife alright.”
Before I could react to that comment, or muse why I felt a warm tingly feeling upon hearing that word, ‘wife,’ I saw Jad thrust his boxers off with a single hand, revealing his penis. I tensed as I saw it, yet… it did not look like my penis. My penis was always flaccid and small, while this one was rigid and looked massive as it loomed over my crotch.
“You ready for the real thing?” He snickered, making a Mega Man X7 reference.
“…Stick it in. Help me figure out what all the fuss is about.”
“With pleasure. Pour vous et pour moi.”
I held my breath as I saw this thing loom over me. I knew, logistically, that it had to fit inside me, as Maxxie regaled me with the expansive power of a vagina more times than I would have liked. I think six times, maybe seven. So I knew I had nothing to fear, especially if his body and my current body had done it… hundreds of times? In that instance, it should fit like a hand into a glove… r-right?
Seconds later, I was met with the sensation of something sliding into me. Sliding into a body part that I had barely even seen, let alone touched. I had reestablished my sensory homunculus while in the bathroom, but now, it was shattered once more. Something I only had a vague outline of was squashed and stretched in ways that… were only a fraction as unnerving as they were enthralling.
As Future Jad entered me, I felt as if I had entered a new echelon of sensation. One that made me almost immediately understand why Maxxie had a full-blown collection of dildos under her bed, because holy fuck did this feel good.
“I’m starting slow,” my partner clarified. “I know how to treat that body of yours, but lemme know when you’re ready to kick it up past low gear.”
“I can take it. Or, at least this body can. Keep going until… until I cum. If I do… it might all make sense.”
“I was hoping you would say that,” he said as he kissed me on the lips. “Just make sure you work those hips.”
I began doing what he said, wiggling my hips about as he slid his penis in and out. I was slow and timid with my motions at first, hardly knowing how to do much more than walk properly with hips these wide. But as he maintained a rhythm, I followed it, and once we were in sync, it felt like another layer had been locked.
It was then when my breathing transformed into moaning. Passionate pants of pleasure poured out as his penis pulsed within my pussy, while my mind became hot and loud. Whatever flakes of restraint and reservation I still had dissolved into nothingness when exposed to this pressure, and I felt tears leaking from my eyes. I smiled as I wiped one away, only for Future Jad to grasp my hand, firmly yet gently.
“Don’t cry, darling. I’m here for you.”
“P-Please, I don’t know how much more I can take, so—”
“Really? C’mon! I haven’t even hit your G-spot yet!”
“…My what?”
“Oh, you babe swaddled in a cashmere blanket of ignorance. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy… 45 seconds of ecstasy.”
A moment later, I felt Future Jad move his penis in an unfamiliar direction, aiming for a crevice that was more sensitive than the tender flesh surrounding it. Something that made me gasp when I first felt it. And then he pressed it again, and again, and again, until… it happened.
The sense of an orgasm was something that I had experienced before, yet never enjoyed. It felt like something was breaking, like I was hurting myself on some innate level. In this body though, it was… beyond comprehension. Something revolutionary to the mind. Something that would forever alter how I viewed the very concept of physical pleasure.
I felt like I was soaring, like I had experienced something so powerful that my body’s grip on this world had faded and… it did.
As I wallowed in this afterglow, the world around me grew bright. The light above expanded from the confines of its bulb and coated the walls in a stark white, consuming them, the furnishings, and even the bed. With my body lethargic and my mind hazy, I did not even think of resisting this encroaching force, and merely laid there as it expanded to my frame. I felt it spread across my limbs, coating my flesh, and immersing me entirely in its radiance. Until all I could see was white. Until all I could feel was light.
The Dominance of Abigale Quinlan Main Page
Shard 00: The Novus Logs Volumes 1 & 2
Shard 01: 108 Days Later
Shard 02: Melancholic Mundanity
Shard 03: Another Day; Another Doubt
Shard 04: Fractured Family
Shard 05: Troublesome Tuesday
Shard 06: Despair And Die
Shard 07: The Enigmatic Sickness
Shard 08: The Erotic Fantasy (Osananajimi;Myself Part 3700)
Shard 09: The Egregious Downfall
Shard 10: The Oransen High Massacre
Shard 11: The Dark Metamorphosis
Shard 12: The Dominant Reflection
Shard 13: My Life As Jadigale Novus
Shard 14: Fade Unto Dusk
Shard 15: Re;Birth Unto Jade
Shard 16: Gender Reveal Party
Shard 17: Enter The Three Wives (Psycho Bullet Festival 2222 – Bout 21-2)
Shard 18: Novus X – Ten Years Later