Disclaimer: This novel contains adult material including sexually explicit activities, strong language, homophobic language, extreme violence, suicide, depictions of trauma, and more. Reader discretion is advised.
The Dominance of Abigale Quinlan
Shard 11: The Dark Metamorphosis
My eyes fluttered open as a silent groan escaped my mouth. Darkness filled my vision, but it was unlike the nothingness that I saw as I drifted to sleep. It was akin to the darkness I experienced when I woke today. Or, perhaps, it was already yesterday.
It was the darkness of my bedroom. My rolling shade was pulled down, blocking out the sun, allowing only a small sliver of light to illuminate these familiar surroundings. I tried to think back on what happened before this, but my mind felt lethargic, and I could feel a faint soreness palpitating from my head.
I did not remember how I wound up like this. But I did remember my dream. I remembered being with Abigale. Being trapped in my body as she used it as a tool. A tool for murder. The recollection of noise and death only worsened my headache.
My vision then drew me to my clock, which read 9:09. My clock was a decade old and only displayed time in a 12-hour format, but I knew it had to be Friday morning. Meaning I already missed the first two periods. And unless I got my ass out of bed, I would assuredly miss the third.
Even with my head throbbing, I still managed to roll myself out of bed and walk to my desk. The soreness of Wednesday came back twofold, and my throat was incredibly dry. I grabbed my water cup and let the lukewarm fluid cascade down my throat, coughing lightly as it wet my esophagus. I then walked out of my bedroom to try and begin my day, where I saw Maxxie, dressed casually in a purple graphic tee and black shorts. Her eyes widened for a moment, before she let out a sigh of relief.
“Oh, thank goodness you’re awake. Just head back to your bed Jad and I’ll bring you some soup and explain everything, okay?”
“O… kay,” I muttered, my voice weary.
As Maxxie trailed down the stairs, I returned to my bedroom. I propped my pillow against my wall, allowing me to comfortably sit up in my bed, and waited for Maxxie to arrive. A minute later, she returned, carrying a plastic serving tray with a plate of crackers and a bowl of soup… covered with ceramic wrap. Well, that’s one way to prevent the soup from spilling. She placed the tray on my lap and grabbed my computer chair, sitting next to me as I removed the wrap and brought a spoonful of lentil soup to my mouth.
“So, how are you feeling?”
“I feel pretty sore,” I answered, “especially around my gut, and my head is aching. I… don’t really remember what happened.”
“Yuccot assaulted you in gym class yesterday. It’s Friday the 10th, so you’ve been asleep for almost an entire day.”
“He assaulted me? I know Yuccot was a piece of shit, but would—” I said before the memories came rushing back to me. “Right. I guess I agitated him, but—”
“That’s still no excuse for attacking you with a free weight! TWICE! If this doesn’t get him expelled, I don’t know what will.”
“Regardless, I don’t think I have a concussion or internal bleeding or anything.”
“The school nurse said as much. Just a bump and a bruised belly. That’s why you’re here and not at a hospital.”
“I guess I dodged a bullet there… and my mother knows about this?”
“She’s on her way back from Germany, but that’s an eleven hour flight. I don’t know if she’s even boarded a plane yet.”
As Maxxie said this, she pulled out her phone, presumably to contact my mother.
“I swear, I feel like I’ve been wasting my youth like this. Lazing about, sleeping, feeling sick, getting myself hurt— I wound up missing half a week of school for fuck’s sake. If this keeps up… I don’t know what I’m going to do. How I’m going to live as an adult. How I’m going to do… anything.”
I then looked back at Maxxie and remembered my Wednesday dream. My chest tensed as I thought back on being in her body, and I turned away. Looking at her was… still hard.
“Jad, please. You know that things aren’t hopeless. It has been a fucking shitty week for you, but things will get better. You just need to let them wash over you and—”
“Finally tell you what I’ve been meaning to. It’s mostly written, but… I’d rather tell you myself. It’s just… that I worry you might not believe me, because of how unreal it sounds, even though—”
Before I could continue, I felt Maxxie’s right index finger press against my cheek.
“Poke-a poke-a puu! I love you!”
After her finger hopped across my cheeks, forehead, and nose, she brought her lips to my forehead and gave me a small kiss.
“Second time this week you’ve done that,” I said with a smile on my face.
“Well, desperate times call for desperate measures. But… really Jad, you shouldn’t be so concerned about the future, about our friendship, or whatever’s got you down. I feel like a broken record bringing this up again, but you know I love you. With all my heart. You’ve always been there for me, always been my friend, and without your support, I don’t know who I’d be today. I know you’re modest— think you’re just regular shit instead of the shit— think you’re not going to have the brightest future, and all that jazz. But deep down, you know that’s not true.”
I tried to find the words to respond to Maxxie. But before they could manifest in my mind, she continued her speech.
“You keep comparing yourself to others, keep defining yourself based on what you don’t have compared to them, and assume the worst for yourself. But that’s not how it works. If you keep comparing yourself to others, keep looking at your accomplishments and saying they’re ‘nothing,’ you’re doomed for despair.”
“I… I know, but you’ve all done so much already and your futures seem so—”
“Jad, what do you seriously think we want? Do I think I’m going to be a superstar Patreon artist, bringing in the bacon and the havarti? Hell to the nah. I make weirdo fuck shit for weirdo fuck peoples. Because I’m a 21st century DBG ojou-sama and I can afford to invest myself in the darkest and dankest arts without fear of economic instability. That’s the power of trust funds, bay-bee!”
“Well, I’m sure that you want to amass a larger following. You get excited when you get more followers and viewers, so—”
“Jad, sweetie, I like having a little community of chill peeps I can share my stuff with, but why would I want to be famous? Do I look like I wanna be stressed out and hounded by people who hate me all the time? Because that’s what fame is all about. If Shiaka ever became a big time game developer with a cult indie hit, do you think she would ever want to show up to a public event with hundreds of people? For Zoe, do you think he wants much more than his own business and enough money to buy a nice house for him and his mama? If so, you’re dead wrong!”
“So, what you mean to say is… you’re all just a bunch of people at the end of the day, and I’m pretty much the same.”
“Nope! I’m saying you’re exactly the same! Same fabric, same color, same goldarn cloth. We wouldn’t be who we are today without you and… you wouldn’t be who you are today without us. We are linked on a deeper level, Jad and… I don’t want you to ever view yourself in terms of ‘worth,’ of ‘merit.’ Because the most important thing about you is that you are… you, and that’s why we love you so much!”
As Maxxie said that, she threw her arms over me and locked me in a hug. I returned the favor, wrapping my arms over her back, and holding her tight, pressing our lightly clothed bodies together as we shared in each other’s warmth. Yet, as we embraced, I felt something unusual yet familiar against my chest. My breasts. They had been tiny before, you could’ve disparagingly called them ‘mosquito bites,’ I suppose. Except now… they were bigger. Not as large as Maxxie’s B-cups, but probably an A-cup.
I had forgotten about my transformation. The thing that caused me such unrest during Strength and Conditioning. It has been a day, so the transformation was probably more drastic. My grip loosened as I realized this, and Maxxie looked at me with a toothy grin. My mind flashed back to when I was looking in the mirror in that wet dream. That dream where I… used Maxxie’s body.
Having finished my soup and crackers during our conversation, I pushed the tray off my legs and stood up.
“Hey, what’re you going?”
“I need to go to the bathroom.”
“Ah, right. It has been about a day, so I can imagine…”
I left the room while Maxxie’s voice trailed off and made my way to the bathroom mirror. My complexion was another shade darker, looking less like a tan and more like the pigmentation of my skin had permanently changed. My hair was at a similar length as it was before, but instead of looking shaggy, it looked more angular, deliberate, and designed. The curls were still there, but the brown shade looked to be darker. Still brunette, not black, but darker, much like my skin.
I cast my hair aside and looked at my face. My eyes were still the same shade of green as always, yet the shape of my face was different. My brow, my noose, my jawline, they were all ever so slightly smoother or thinner than they were before, while my thin lips both looked, and felt, fuller than they had yesterday. None of this was surprising to me of course. I knew that I was transforming into a girl, and looking at my face… that’s what I saw.
I could still see shadows of my more male features in the visage looking back at me— the face still carried a level of androgyny— but that did not give me comfort. Because I knew that I would lose these features in a matter of days. Hell, maybe even hours depending on when I go to sleep next.
However, my face was not all that I could see in the mirror. Beneath the light blue pajama shirt I woke up in, I saw the breasts I felt earlier, my nipples poking through the fabric. After wincing at the sight, I sighed, reassured myself that this was the best and right thing to do, and stripped out of my clothes. Clothes that, presumably, Maxxie dressed me in after she brought me home.
I looked down at the small breasts hanging off of my light brown chest. Small enough that they did not necessitate a bra, yet large enough for me to fill the palm of my hand. My waist looked slightly narrower, giving my rectangular torso a slight curve to it. While my hips… my hip bones just outright grew in my sleep somehow. I was still bony and could feel the edge of the hip bones from just lightly pressing a finger on them, but they were definitely wider than they were before.
My face and my body were unmistakably transformed and, even though I really didn’t want to, I sat down on the toilet to examine my genitals. A penis still dangled between my legs, but it seemed… smaller. I knew that male-to-female hormone replacement therapy could lead to reduced penis and testicle size, but if I was turning into a girl, they would do more than shrink.
As I looked down at them, the details of this change played out in my mind. The testicles would retreat into their cavity and be converted into ovaries. The scrotum would flatten itself and form the basis for the labia. While the penile tissue would be used to create both the vaginal canal and clitoris.
Yet, for the time being it was merely a short penis that expelled urine into the toilet bowl below, allowing me to relieve myself for the first time in over a day. After emptying my bladder and clearing my bowels, I pulled up my briefs and shorts, washed my hands, and left the bathroom, knowing that I had to come clean and tell Maxxie what was happening to me.
She was still sitting in my bungee chair, but the dishes were gone— she probably took them downstairs while I was in the restroom— and as I entered, she offered me another warm smile.
“Did everything go alright in there?” Maxxie asked, half-jokingly.
“Do I look different to you?”
As I asked that, I stopped and listened to my voice and, though it was still in a typical male register, it was definitely higher than it was on Thursday.
“Um… Well, you could probably stand to freshen yourself up a little, but you still look like the same old Jad to me.”
I then took my loose shirt and tightened it around my frame, showing off my breasts, waist, and hips as I stood.
“Maxxie. Do I look like a boy or a girl?”
Maxxie looked at me for three seconds, a blank expression on her face, before she toppled onto the floor, bringing the chair with her.
“Holy shit! You… how did you do that and… your skin color is… and your hair! When… when did this all happen?”
“It’s been happening all week. Maxxie, did you… put me in these clothes?”
“I did— I didn’t take off your briefs or anything— but I… I didn’t notice anything different about you.”
“…How? Did you not realize that my hair was growing inhumanly fast? That I had a tan after spending almost half a day sleeping?”
“I… God, I am such a shitty friend, I should have… Jad, do you know what’s happening to your body?”
“No. Just that, for some reason, I’m turning into a girl.”
“Yeah, but… how does that explain your skin color and… hold on, let me feel a few things.”
Maxxie, without a shred of playfulness in her eyes, then came up to me, and paused, comparing our heights with her hands. I was always taller than her— outside of sixth grade— but now, I felt that I was towering over her by at least 15 centimeters, instead of the usual 10. Once she confirmed this for herself, she grabbed onto my arm, squeezing it with her fingers as if to test its firmness, before shooting a curious look at me.
“So, not only are you turning into a girl, but your skin’s getting darker, you are considerably stronger… and you’re significantly taller too? What the fuck is going on here?”
“My sentiments exactly, but… I don’t think there is anything I can do about it. I… I just need to go with these changes.”
“Like fuck you do! Jad, I know you have been keeping a lot of secrets from me— from all of us. And while I know it must hurt you, that it must be killing you inside, I need to know what happened to you all those months ago. Because… if there’s anything in the world that’ll explain this shit, it’s that shit!”
She was right. I had been keeping this secret for too damn long and even if all I could give her was a rambly barely coherent mess, I would do it. I had to do it. I had been running away for too damn long and… and…
…Right as I was at the precipice of letting the secret out and speaking straight from the heart, he decided to barge into my brain and assault me with his usual breed of torment.
“Hey-ey-ey-ey! It’s P to the eet to the R-I-C-E! Peatrice is in the hizzle fo rizzle and here to fuck yo shit up when you least expect it by reminding you to look at that face. Look at the face of your second rape victim. Tell her about how much you loved her body. How you murdered her and her entire family. Tell her about how you met with a literal God and then told her to fuck off! Tell her about your failures, tell her about your crimes, tell her about how you dreamed of nabbin’ a hundo killz! Let it all out and see how she reacts. Because if there was anything that would shatter Maxxie, it would be hearing that shit, here and now, when her Maxxie-ness is at an annual low. Do you really want to take your chance? Do ya? Doooooooo ya?”
“Shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up, Peatrice!” I shouted verbally.
As Maxxie heard me yell, her eyes widened.
“Jad, please, take a seat and talk to me. No matter how bad, no matter how embarrassing, I will—”
I tried to listen to Maxxie’s words, but they were drowned out by Peatrice’s bullshit.
“LIAR! Liiiiiiiar! This cunt don’t know what she be spittin’, so do yourself a solid and tell her to go. Tell her to bounce like the big booty bitch she be! Or else you’ll need to try and explain it with me in the peanut gallery, peeing on the floor and busting a nut on your face whenever you think you’re getting into the groove. In fact, maybe I can—
As Peatrice continued, I brought myself to the floor and clenched my head.
“LEAVE! He won’t go away until you leave. He knows what’s going on and he won’t let me tell you the truth.”
Maxxie then grabbed me, pressing my face into her chest in what was meant to be an innocent embrace, but this was just another opportunity for Peatrice to begin another tirade.
“OPPAIS! Jay-Dank loves them some tiddies, so much they got some for themself! Tell her about how your tiddies felt! Talk about when they were all wet and floppy back in ‘14!”
I knew Maxxie was saying loving words to reassure me, begging me to talk to her and ignore the voice in my head. I felt the tears flowing from her face as she nuzzled my head. I wanted to confide with her, but I couldn’t. Not with Peatrice jamming hot pins into my skin whenever I dare to move a muscle.
“Maxxie, I will send you everything I’ve written just… Please get out of here! The voices won’t stop until you leave. They hate me, I hate them, and they won’t SHUT THE FUCK UP until you are gone. Please… PLEASE!!! Just go! Just leave me!”
“Hey! HEY! You see that face? Them freckles. You wanna fuck her right? Get that cunt all wet and feel it up. You could do it, y’know. I’m real smart and I can help you make her into a fucking machine. Because that’s all she is to you. I checked. You wanna fuck her. Fist that pussy up. It’s true, It’s truuuuuuue!”
As Peatrice constantly triggered my trauma, my screams became dry heaves. I began coughing violently as I told Maxxie to go.
“No! I will never leave you! I will not leave you alone like this. I would never be able to forgive myself if something bad happened to you. I… I should have known. I should have fucking known that it was time for me to put my stupid shit aside and be serious. But… I thought you had it under control, that you would tell me when you are ready, and… It’s all my fault. I fucked up! I failed you, Jad and—”
I could not take this any longer. I needed this to end and… I had an idea. My mind flashed back to my dream last night. How my body was slain with a pair of broken scissors.
I thrust myself over to my desk to grab my scissors and used my newfound strength to tear them open. While the connecting screw remained where it was, the plastic broke in two, giving me a moderately sharp blade that I wasted little time bringing near my throat.
“Leave now, or else I’ll fucking kill myself! I’ll give you my scissors when you leave— all the knives in this fucking house! Just go! Go or else this will be the last time you ever fucking see me!”
Tears were pouring down my face as I made this claim. Said such a horrible thing to someone who I loved with my whole entire heart. As I said these things, I saw the horror on her face. A face that I dared not to look at for more than a second. For that dream still weighed heavy on my consciousness.
“…Fine,” she replied. “I hate what you are doing, Jad. You are being a motherfucker! But… I see you don’t want my help. You don’t want any help. I will be there for you when you need me. I’m only a call away. …And I meant it when I said that I love you. I always have. I always will. I know you’re the same… you… just don’t want to show it right now.”
Maxxie then left my room and slammed the door behind me. I could faintly hear her sobbing as she ran down the stairs, before slamming the front door, even harder.
I then threw my scissors into my trash and threw myself into my bed.
“Anything else you have to say, Peatrice?”
He didn’t have anything else to say. It was just silence. Cold, frustrating, silence.
I allowed myself to cry as I embraced my pillow and comforted myself in my sheets. By the time I felt composed enough to do something more, I checked the clock. 10:12. So I must have been at it for a while.
I rose from my bed and, before I did anything else, I had to honor my promise and share my incomplete Google Doc describing my time with Verde Dusk. I shared it with the personal Gmail accounts of Maxxie, Zoe, and Shiaka, and included the following message:
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t finish this in time. This is barely even a draft, but you should be able to piece together what I went through back in 2014. I should have told you sooner, I know, and I regret everything I’ve put you through. I know I might be bad at showing it sometimes, but I truly love you all.”
I hit submit, closed the document, and then looked up at my ceiling.
“I fucked up, but… at least the word got out. At least they now know the truth. At least I did one thing sorta right.”
I left a pause, hoping Peatrice would come out again, but he didn’t. Meaning I was truly alone. Alone in my house. Alone in my rapidly transforming body. Alone… with the burden that I had been carrying for months finally lifted. The truth was out there, in their hands… while still being tied to my Google account.
Paranoia drove me to email them a Word doc copy, just in case my Google Docs copy went offline— somehow— but once that was done, I was left wondering what I should do next. I was in no mood to engage in my usual leisure activities— let alone check my usual sights or RSS feed.
As I mused about my next objective, I unlocked my phone and saw five missed calls, three voicemails, and six messages, all from ‘Caroline Steticks.’
“I just heard from the school. Please call me as soon as possible.”
“I’m boarding the next plane to O’Hare. I should be there by morning.”
“Maxxie just contacted me. She said you were knocked out cold. Please call me when you get up!”
“THE FUCKING FLIGHT WAS CANCELLED!!!!! Jad, I am sooooo sorry! :c”
“I won’t be there until Friday night. Sweetie, I’m so sorry! ;_;”
“I’m going to be grounded all day in Belgium. Call me when you can.”
After reading her texts, and without listening to any of the voicemails, I called her, waiting patiently as the chime rang once, then twice, and finally, I heard her voice.
“Hello? Jad, is that you?”
“Y-Yes, Mother. I just checked my phone and… I’m okay.”
“Oh, thank goodness. Maxxie said that you seemed fine, but… how long were you out for?”
“Almost an entire day. Maxxie was there when I woke up and… she went back home, as I was feeling… a lot better.”
“Are you sure? I wish I was there, but I’m still not on my damn plane yet! I thought Europeans were supposed to be better about this, but Murphy’s Law is in full effect today!”
“So, where are you?” I asked, hoping for an ETA.
“Brussels. And considering the two hour ride from O’Hare to get back to Oransen, I’m guessing I won’t be home until… Jadigale, what’s the time there?”
I paused as she said what I assume was meant to be my name, wondering if the 6,000 kilometer connection was disrupting the phone call reception, before I relayed her answer.
“Goldarn it! …I hope to be home before 21:00, but don’t stay up waiting for me, Jadigale.”
There it was again!
“Mother, what did you just call me?”
“Hm? Jadigale. Your name. I think I might have called you Jad earlier, but old habits die hard. You always were insistent on calling yourself Jad back in grade school, but you came around to Jadigale around… the start of middle school. After your and Maxxie’s little crossdressing adventure. The kids were teasing you about it and you switched to Jadigale, because it sounded more feminine and beautiful. Fitting for a girl like you.”
What. The. Fuck. I didn’t know how I could even try to respond to this. My own mother was calling me by a different name and just called me a… girl. A tingle percolated throughout my stomach as I took this in, and I began to weigh my options. I could lean into this, or I could fight against it and… after failing to maintain my composure around Maxxie, I felt that I needed to stick my arm further down this rabbit hole.
“A girl, huh? So, that’s… what I’ve always been?”
“Well, when you were a little thing, you could have easily been mistaken for a boy. But when puberty came, and you started developing, you and Maxxie went into the deep end. …Gosh, sorry for going down memory lane like this, I only slept for about four hours last night.”
“So, I was always your daughter?”
“…Yes? The doctor said you’d be a girl when you were in my belly, and I distinctly remember you having a vagina when you came out of me. Are you getting at something, Jadigale? Are you… transgender? Do you… want to be a boy?”
The tingling sensation that fluttered through my stomach died as she said the word ‘boy.’
“No, No, I’m just… a little foggy on things after being out for so long. I… I love you, Mother. I’ll see you tonight.”
As my mother said her goodbye, I ended the call and slid my phone to the other side of my desk.
“So… not only am I turning into a girl, reality itself is changing. People’s memories are changing and… Jadigale… Jad… igale.”
Jad + Abigale = Jadigale.
“How in the fuck did I not immediately realize this?” I shouted as I ran out of my room, through the hall, and to the bathroom.
I threw off my shirt and stared at my reflection. The remnants of my true visage were there, but there was another set of features that I recognized. A set of features that haunted me for 108 nights, yet had been absent from my mind ever since Monday morning.
Straight, black shoulder-length hair, dull crimson eyes, a mid-brown complexion, an angular and beautiful face, a lean and muscular body, a modest chest, and an imposingly tall stature of 2 meters. That was the body of Abigale Quinlan. A body that, for a few days, I used as my own. A body that, while attractive by every metric I could imagine, was one that, not even for a moment, filled me with a sense of rightness. It was too tall, too strong, the voice echoing through my head was too imposing, and the face resisted the brunt of my emotions.
My curly brown hair had grown and darkened. My eyes remained as green as ever. The masculine edges of my skull looked to have been shaved down by precious millimeters. My veiny complexion was now a light brown, darker than Shiaka’s but lighter than Anita’s. My scrawny body now had a layer of muscle definition that would have taken months of deliberate training to amass. A pair of small breasts rested on my once flat chest. And could tell I was approximately 1.85 meters tall. Up from 1.77.
I almost looked like a fusion of Abigale and I. Almost like their… hypothetical child.
It was a disgusting concept— Abigale and I doing anything sexual together— but I could not deny that my reflection filled me with a sense of… comfort.
A tingling sensation appeared in my stomach yet again, yet rather than persist in a low hum, the feeling grew more intense with every passing second, rapidly rising to a crescendo. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stand for long, so I preemptively brought myself to the floor, sitting on the bathroom rug and propping my back against the bathtub. There, I stared down my shirtless torso and to my flat stomach.
It did not feel like a simple ‘upset stomach.’ It felt like something unusual— unnatural— like the next step of this transformation was about to begin. And as I looked down at myself, my breasts in my peripheral vision, I knew what it was leading up to.
The churning sensation then dug past my stomach, drifting downward into my pelvis and into my shorts. I spread my legs to ease myself of the tension, yet kept my shorts on, for I did not want to witness something so… messy and grotesque.
“If I’m turning into a girl, then of course that is going to transform. I hoped that I’d have a bit more time to acclimate, but… fuck it. Just get it over with.”
As if on cue, the formless sensation reverberating within my organs clenched my genitals. It began undoing the most prominent effect of puberty by sucking my testicles back into the inguinal canal. I felt them burn as they were exposed to my body heat and freed from the breezy embrace of the scrotum, thrust deeper and deeper into my pelvis, until they lost all sensation.
As my body ate my testicles, the next phase began, starting with blood rushing into my penis, making it erect. It was too small and weak to create a tent past my shorts and briefs, but it was strong enough to rise past the empty and floppy scrotum. This heather of skin then fell against my perineum, where it flattened itself after the surface and, once in a stable position, it grew alarmingly hot. It felt as if my flesh was burning, being wrought together, and that’s because it was.
I then felt a rush of blood pour into my penis, making it erect. It was too small and weak to create a tent under my shorts, but it was strong enough to separate itself from the empty and floppy scrotum. This pouch of skin fell against my perineum, flattening itself, and once its position stabilized, I felt a heat persist throughout this portion of my body, as if these two sheathes of skin were being melted into one. As this happened, I felt my hardened penis recede into my body, growing smaller and smaller as an itchy sensation developed along the middle of my scrotum— the scrotal raphe.
From this itching sensation came a harsh sound. That of my skin ripping open and spreading apart. As this new hole got bigger, my penis got smaller, and the burning sensation around my crotch only grew more intense. I turned on the bathtub faucet and splashed cold water on my face, just to keep my body cool, and while that helped, it wasn’t enough.
The heat was trapped within my shorts and briefs, but it could no longer be contained. With a single double-handed thrust, I brought these clothes to my knees and looked down at what I could only describe as a… vagina. It was not fully formed, as one could tell from the massive clitoris and thick, wrinkly vulva, but it sure as shit didn’t look like a penis.
As I looked down, the transformation continued. The penile head continued to sink into the skin below. My vulva continued to refine its shape, spreading out and smoothing itself, while widening the entrance to its newly made orifice.
I did not dare touch it. I winced as I tried to look at it in this raw visceral form. Yet I could not force myself to look elsewhere.
“It’s almost over, Jad, it’s almost—”
My thoughts shattered as I felt a bullet of air shoot past my vulva and through my tender innards, pushing aside everything it could to make way for a vaginal canal. The air escaped my lungs, my body slammed itself against the bathtub, and fatigue assaulted my being a second later. As I took in deep breaths, I brought a hand to my abdomen in an attempt to comfort myself. I thought this was the end of my transformation, but as my pelvis began to swell, I realized my body had saved the worst for last.
As my pelvis grew, it spread a gushing wave of pain across every corner of my body. I clenched the bathtub, desperate for some stability, and ground my teeth, for I lacked the capacity to scream. Dread flowed across my being as this sensation persisted for a small eternity… only for it to be replaced with a comforting numbness.
It reminded me of when I received a Lidocaine injection during my facial electrolysis sessions. The gushing pain, the residual burning sensation across my vulva— it was just gone! I removed my hands from the bathtub, laid back against it, and looked up at the ceiling, my mouth agape and formed into a slight smile.
“Stupid body… why’d you wait so long to… to…”
My words became distant and hazy as I laid there. The numbness spread throughout my form, and I could feel my eyelids grow heavy. My body wanted to go to sleep after undergoing such a dramatic biological reconstruction, and for a second, I welcomed this… before I remembered my resolve.
I sent a fist into the core of my abdomen, and as the air escaped from my lungs, I was brought back from the gates of dreamland. Unfortunately, I did not know my own strength. A single punch left me hacking and coughing, as if I had gotten something crammed in my throat. I used the tub to lift myself up and took three wobbly steps toward the sink, where I dug my fingers into its surface. My legs felt like they were made of jelly after my genital transformation, yet I still had the strength needed to stand.
Before I could look at either the mirror or my new organ, I stared into the sink and released a mouthful of blood. A thick salty sensation lingered in my mouth as I vomited up a distressing quantity of such a vital fluid, yet… that was not all I vomited. As I looked into the marble basin before me, I noticed something solid in the drain guard. It was a small, firm, wad of flesh— the size of two or three quarters.
“Where the hell did this—”
I paused as I heard my voice. It went from androgynous to full-on feminine. Which, I guess, meant that what I was looking at in the sink was part of my Adam’s apple.
“I’m pretty sure it shouldn’t be in one piece like this, but it’s not like what’s been happening to me has been ‘logical.’”
As I spoke, my voice was hoarse, and I could feel blood lingering on my throat. Even though it was improper, I drank from the faucet in front of me , rinsing out my mouth and throat before spitting it into the sink, sending even more blood down the drain.
“Testing, testing, one, two, three. My name is… Jad Novus. Though, I guess it’s Jadigale Novus now.”
As I spoke, I worried that I would sound like Abigale. Instead, it sounded… like a higher-pitched version of my original voice, mixed with how I remember my mother sounding when she was in her early twenties. It sounded… pleasant reverberating throughout my head.
As I confirmed another layer of this transformation, I raised my head to look at myself in the mirror, ready to confront what I looked like now that my transformation was nearly complete.
Except, as I looked at the mirror, I did not see my reflection. I did not see any reflection. Instead, I saw her. I saw Abigale Quinlan.
The Dominance of Abigale Quinlan Main Page
Shard 00: The Novus Logs Volumes 1 & 2
Shard 01: 108 Days Later
Shard 02: Melancholic Mundanity
Shard 03: Another Day; Another Doubt
Shard 04: Fractured Family
Shard 05: Troublesome Tuesday
Shard 06: Despair And Die
Shard 07: The Enigmatic Sickness
Shard 08: The Erotic Fantasy (Osananajimi;Myself Part 3700)
Shard 09: The Egregious Downfall
Shard 10: The Oransen High Massacre
Shard 11: The Dark Metamorphosis
Shard 12: The Dominant Reflection
Shard 13: My Life As Jadigale Novus
Shard 14: Fade Unto Dusk
Shard 15: Re;Birth Unto Jade
Shard 16: Gender Reveal Party
Shard 17: Enter The Three Wives (Psycho Bullet Festival 2222 – Bout 21-2)
Shard 18: Novus X – Ten Years Later