It has been nearly two years since I began this blog, and I have had the very firm goal of getting one piece of writing out on a weekly basis. For the most part, I’ve been able to schedule things to make this a reality and prevent my blog from being abandoned or go on a hiatus. Not that there is much of a point in maintaining this collection of opinions and screencaps from random animes. It was really something I began due to my own desire to become more proficient in expressing my opinion, which later became a more general desire to improve my abilities as a writer, see the novel I released about seven weeks back. However, the central drive into putting them on a the internet is not so much that I get a following, more that I am proving to myself that I can do something, quite simply, by myself.
Now, I have grown to enjoy expressing my opinions on video games, to the point where I have felt genuine remorse in not describing them for some games, with the fact that I did not play enough or get a firm enough grasp on the game in order to “properly” assess it. This is partially why I removed any form of demo impressions, which was certainly helped by the introduction of a massive game library provided by having a PC, which has led to me playing more games and going through them faster than I ever have before. Something I certainly enjoy doing as there are countless games that one should play, but this has also made me realize how in the past few years the concept of offering bang for one’s buck, or even purchasing games at launch has become a futile endeavor, as I only reserve such treatment to games that will barely go down in price over the ensuing years, and are almost always Nintendo games.
The concept of relevance in media is something I certainly do understand, but in this age of almost instantaneous immortality of entertainment, with exceptions naturally existing, is really not something I think much about now. I have a list of games I wish to purchase, but until they are on what I dub as a reasonable sale, they may as well be nonexistent due to how the benefit of jumping onto something that is modern is effectively lost upon me. Why? Well, in all my travels in life, I have ended up with a single friend over the past five or so years with no desire to make more, and potentially a desire to remove even that friendship simply so I may achieve complete and utter solitude from anybody but those I live with, meaning my family.
I suppose I would place this desire for isolation with the simple fact that I have always been the kind of person who was either irritated or intimidated by other people, not wanting to talk much of socialize, let alone do group work with those I was paired with. It naturally led to a long standing series of social workers and legally required socialization sessions I had to endure all the way through high school, which did little to nothing in terms of making me any less of an isolated individual. Hell, don’t even bother asking me about the most animalistic form of companionship, that of sex. In short it is a concept I like to bastardize and twist into things that I view as comical, as actually observing it along with most nudity is something that I would strictly place in the “do not want” pile. In other words, I am fairly certain I am actually asexual, somebody who does not feel much attraction to any sex, as even what does get me off is something that is truly impossible in these modern times and is something I would still ultimately do without the assistance of another individual.
In addition to that stated desire to retain virginity simply due to how I do not view the act of sex as anything I’d desire to experience, I have also been debating in my mind for nearly three years at this point whether or not I had Asperger’s. Now, I never actually went to the doctor to ask, as I do not go and see doctors for anything but my teeth, but my psychology teacher once sat me down and brought the subject up, not necessarily diagnosing me, more that she was saying I likely was autistic and should get my head checked out at a head shrink. Funny terms I picked up from a 1961 musical aside, I’ve had my own versions of obsessions over the years, most often shifting between them and desiring to compartmentalize and organize various universes, religiously watching things I enjoyed and reading guides about games I enjoyed in order to get more information. Hell, getting back to games on this ramble, that’s actually what I spent more time doing as a child.
When my uncles gifted me a Nintendo 64 back in 2000, I was more or less introduced to the medium, told about the many wonderful things that could be within it, but more terrified by this one awful cancerous thing that humanity instinctively tries to avoid, that of failure. I was simply terrified of the concept of dying in a game, never wanting to lose health or get hurt, not even providing a chance of failure by playing Pokemon Stadium and Puzzle League in 2P mode by myself as I still feel intimidated by something like Donkey Kong 64 as I had such a bad experience with it and its downright horrifying world.
I eventually got over this fear, but that was through a magical device known as an Action Replay, a cheat device that could remove any form of failure and keep my Pokemon super powerful on the GBA while giving me infinite FP in Paper Mario 2. My interest in the delightful Chibi-Robo was actually sparked simply due to how Chibi would never die and was never in much danger, as he would be able to heal himself through an outlet. Near the mid-Ots I did make the shift away from these devices, instead trying to learn how to properly play games once I was ten… which is why I probably do not find difficulty all that appealing and are only good enough at games to have beaten everything in Rayman Legends.
Hell, the entire idea behind making a game challenging was based around providing the player more bang for their buck, as children did not necessarily know quality games from bad ones and designers did not know that they were super good at the games they made, and therefore should lower the survey for children. I do respect difficult games, but I actually found one of the worst examples to have been the beloved Dark Souls due to how it can very easily be exploited. Early on in the game, after the battle with the giant boar, I noticed that if I turned off the game as I was being slaughtered, I could retain some of my progress made from exiting the bonfire. This was undoubtedly useful, but I messed up turning my Xbox 360 off before dying to a guard I was unsure if I was suppose to fight, and was naturally sent back to the bonfire. I went back tot eh are, looked at the gate I opened over the course of an hour of crawling and manipulation, and saw it close, as the game effectively spread its taint over my TV, going so far as to poop in my face with a stool full of blood and semen. It was beyond upsetting to me and made me feel no remorse in selling the title through Glyde, as the game was what it lunged in my face and it deserved to be murdered for the most objective form of justice. I realize that such a comparison is rather mean and rude, but Dark Souls was a title where I did not see any silver lining. Its world was miserable, its design inspired the player to waste absurd amounts of time going back to the game’s starting point in order to get ten potions instead of five, and I also did not like how it controlled because I picked a shitty class.
In short, that simply is not a challenge on any level, it is just blaming one for not doing proper research on how the game is meant to be played, when I believe that games should very much try to include whatever elements of assistance that could be provided from an external source within them. I actually would be very keen on the idea of developers going out and creating their own guides for their games, with the intention of using them as tour guides and planners for less spontaneity heavy titles, and more laid back titles like quite a few of RPGs. In fact, the very concept of going through certain examples of that genre without a form of guide to carry one’s hand is something I am very much opposed to, as with every JRPG that wasn’t a Dragon Quest game I had some form of guide or resource for me to consult and get information from. Hell, back in the mid-nineties Nintendo thought just the same as they printed a walkthrough book for Earthbound, bundling it with every game in order to help people along the way and enhance the experience through peripheral media.
Hell, I am currently over the three digit mark in my first Persona 4 Golden playthrough, and I have been frantically pacing myself around, desperate for objectively correct direction in a game that both reinforces experimentation and freedom while also keeping a tight leash on anybody who dares try and not have godly foresight. It actually does make me curious as to why this title garnered so much praise over the years, as it does not seem much more inclusive than Shin Megami Tensei IV in terms of the raw gameplay, but then again the gameplay in Persona 4 Golden is very much the least enjoyable part of the game. It is actually very odd that I came across this way as just about every single goddamn thing about this franchise sounds amazing if not for what amounts to brutal and grind fueled gameplay that will cause me to recommend playing P4G on very easy and following a list of recommended steps I will include in the review.
This was actually rather flippantly referred to as OCD by my blogging edler and pageview superior, burnpsy, as being OCD, a statement I do not believe would be applicable at all, as it is merely a desire to organize and dominate something in order to achieve the sensation of accomplishment most games offer. It is the same drive that caused me to try and get 100% on nearly every single game I play, often to the detriment of my enjoyment if one would look at, say, my Assassin’s Creed IV review. However, I can choose to simply not play a section required for the mythical 100% due to my irritation in it, as I have with several games in the past. Yet my drive was not strong enough to prevent me from getting 713 Pokemon, the missing 5 being event legendaries, and making several“pointless”time consumingspreadsheets on the very subject. Yet, this is oddly nowhere near the level of devotion put forth by those who run sites about the subject, let alone those “wretched and vile subhuman creatures who dare to give the slightest of shits about the competitive Pokemon playing scene”. My words, feel free to use them.
Well then, I guess I gave enough personal information in a greatly disorganized and self harming/destructive manner. However, I am under the impression I have created my own Sybor country that I am the king of and cannot be observed in my continuous act of literary masturbation. But to end this, I shall say this was truly and objectively my personal test for working on 95YcH0_Sh4tte!?, or Psycho Underscore Shatter to the layman. Yes, you say the underscore.
Jay was let free from the den of safety, brought out into the world where he would supposedly hurt himself, not that any of those who were paid to act as his caretakers gave much of a fuck about that, as much as they cared about maintaining the sack of shit they had to take care of by preventing him from bashing his own head or tossing himself down the stairs. Jess did don herself a face like somebody who felt actual human emotions, but the bitch was lying her ass of and felt nothing but hatred towards the subhuman being she was entitled to protect. It was merely a tick on her resume and a paycheck into her bank. What would become of this Jay wasn’t even on her radar.
But still, she acted cute as she brought this nitwit a sippy cup, a container specifically designed to prevent his own self inflicted injuries by only ejecting the lukewarm mush that was his dinner into his mouth, never up his nose or his eyes. Hell, dumbass did the former enough times that he can barely make out faces at this point, just another reason to put a bullet in his diseased and corrupted brain before demanding his ever optimistic parents pay you for your public service. Seriously, the only thing he was good for was putting money into bank accounts, and from people who could find other, more beneficial ways to spend their, admittedly, futile attempts at living a life worth more than what I do in a fucking afternoon. But hey, I was bored to tears just looking at this scene, looking into just how wretched this Jay and Jess truly were that I felt it as my duty as the greatest being in this universe to go out and improve their lives by effectively turning them into lumpy chunks of shit pushed out from an infected hemorrhoid filled anus.
So yeah, that is what I am going for with this wretched and vile story that will eventually involve baking a man alive and raping somebody as they die… FUN!