Rundown (6/14-6/19) A Microsoft and Nintendo Pie Soiled by Time!

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Microfunk dawgie dawgWell Microsoft, now I’ve got to publish something where I got annoyed at your bullcrap. Oh no, I’ve got some words to say about their change in tone, but I’m not going to invalidate three paragraphs! I wanted a smooth week after E3, but nope! Here is what I wrote, thrown out to the dogs as it is already rotting.

To begin a time of inevitable soft news (Hahaha, oh past me is a derp), here’s a marshmallow that I’ll call a rock, with Hideki “Badical” Kamiya saying he’d like to make a Star Fox. Star Fox is one of those Nintendo IPs that are viewed as a staple, but with a very dated SNES title, an unreleased sequel, an N64 classic that was remade nearly two years ago, A reskinned game about Dinosaurs, and whatever Assault and Command were, I doubt most people know what to expect from it. It is odd how Nintendo, instead of focusing on every well known franchise they put in their franchise battle royale, they don’t go through the list once every generation. I mean, after you reconfirm your care for the series through a minigame collection, you might as well do something about it. Oh, there wasn’t a Star Fox Nintendo Land minigame?  Screw it, gotta get this out now!

GUP Tank Cakes They are badical cuteWhich is a good enough way to move towards the eternally damned Oddworld series. An series that I am just as fascinated in the history behind the games as I am about the games themselves. Originally a Pentalogy about five characters in the world, then it has the second game follow the same character, before talking about an RTS spin-off along with a deal involving Microsoft for two titles, before the series enter limbo and is now being reintroduced. in the form of HD remakes that are really hard for me to keep track of. Well, the first title’s remake, Oddworld: New N’ Tasty! is a fairly prime example of how the Playstation 4 is friendly, showing the title in their big E3 conference, with Microsoft demanding a publisher for it to be on Xbox One. Truly showing the lack of understanding that I will just keep talking about until it is fixed. (Herp Derp, time is a fool of me!)

BER Fish Faced Gatts

Seriously, I don’t quite understand why some media outlets are even bothering to defend the thing. Yes, it does allow for you to have Fantasy Football stats pop up whenever you want, and puts everything related to your TV inside of one box that can be controlled just by barking at it. That is great, even though I am baffled by the investment in sports, because you’re watching people play with a ball at the end of the day, but benefits mean jack if hampered by colossal costs. All of this stuff is locked behind a $500 entrance fee not including any of the services provided. Hulu, Netflix, and cable all are separate bills that need to be activated by paying $60+ a year to use any of them from your box. When I believe a Roku Box does most of that stuff for $100 or less. And if you could get a microphone and perhaps smoother interface for a $200 machine, the extra $300 doesn’t really justify it much as a game playing machine. Because you’re buying licenses at the end of the day, and are not allowed to sell them without special permission. Let alone decide if you keep games if your account gets banned or not.

MLM I Used TO be Awesome Firm Decision MakingAnd don’t even get me started on how Microsoft acts like you’re being given the freaking moon on a silver platter. Claiming the system over-delivers on value by offering thousands of content, which is complete bullcrap unless you’re hiding the system’s ability for basic motion capture as well as being a dev kit in addition to the system itself. There is not a vocal minority after you, this is a vocal majority. Most people loathe what you’re doing, and unless you’re willing to pull the head out of your ass, stop smelling your farts, and throbbing your willy in the consumer’s face, you’ve lost before the race began. (See you later homeboys, this is outdated, well, only somewhat!)

SB You Lost Go HomeOkay, that is all for this post, now for something more happy, such as another Zelda title. Namely how Eiji Aonuma mentioned how he’s thinking about capturing the feeling of Skyrim in the next Zelda. The actual details are not even all that clear in his head, but it does bring up an interesting scenario when thinking about what he could potentially change. Particularly, what do I like about Zelda? Well, with Wind Waker and Twilight Princess, I loved the sense of adventure gained by going through the well crafted worlds. While in Skyward Sword, I found that to be lacking, as the details felt a bit misplaced as they tied it along with its very segmented elemental sections. With Wiimote movements never enhancing my experience at all, and only making some of the combat more annoying.

SB I Was Just Thinking That!Then there was Ocarina of Time, A Link to the Past, Link’s Awakening and Minish Cap. All titles that I found to be fluctuating levels of fun, as I, you guessed it, love going through the multiple worlds and seeing the alterations between the titles, while the core elements and lore remain largely the same. Bombs, magic, octorocks, rupees, and so forth. As the biggest reason why I’ve not had a ton of fun with the Oracles is that the world doesn’t strike me as interesting, and the same could be said for Spirit Tracks, which seemed to ignore the appeal of a more industrialized, yet still cartoony Zelda title… So make the world fun to explore, and I’ll buy it, even if I need to buy the console too.

GUP Good Great Perfect Random TankYet, the Wii U is something of an anomaly to me at this point. With Iwata saying that, they are essentially not in the same bubble as their former “competitors”. A truly great move for those who wish to alienate ports and multi console releases that makes up pretty much my entire collection of Xbox 360 titles. Especially when it is doomed to the fate as the second console people won to the PS4, when the Wii U is not coming down from $350 anytime soon. Seriously Nintendo? You have a system where the costs are more invested in the controller than the system, and you got rid of the version $50 cheaper? I know the gamepad costs an arm and a leg to make, and 8GB is no storage space after your updates to make the system work properly, but when you’re boxed in, never turn your head towards the sides and scoff at them. You say no pressure and act like you’re in a bubble, but I can’t help but feel like you should be more cautious of those spikes.

WataMote As long as I have you, I'll be fineWell, Nintendo does seem to be trying to do newer things, with a free to play game coming out, but not in a series anybody cares about, in the form of a Steel Diver title. Which is sorta like hearing that Epic Mickey is a thing, where I cannot justify my own excitement or that anyone who is hyped is well in the head. I never played the game, but it looked bland and was received as well as a poop after eating a cow covered in lard.

GUP Oh god it is happening again the dread and fearEven then, I can’t help but lose faith in everything Nintendo touches due to how they are given such high standards. Gods, just working for them sounds like a nightmare, which is what Masahiro Sakurai makes it out to be. Saying how hard it is to follow up what is considered by many to be the best multiplayer game ever. No, really, why else would people still regularly play Melee? Though, I find this fishing following the Wii Fit Trainer, who I actually think is a lovely choice, and not just because of the semi-sexy fanart.

Okay, that’s all, hope I said some good things. Peace out dawgs, see you on Sunday or Saturday or whenever!

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