Whee! Seventh week of things I want to talk about revolving the video games, highlighted by Saints Row IV, because I like the series a whole bundle. But first I need to talk about other stuff, so let’s just do it to it… I literally thought that up unironically. You kids are in for a treat!
Starting at whatever point came up earliest in the week that caught my left eyeball, A father modded Donkey Kong so his daughter could play as Pauline. First though, “Three years olds play video games?” Second thought, “A little girl wanted to play the original 1981 Donkey Kong?” Third thought, “This dad rocks, give him something nice Nintendo!” While I don’t particularly care for the original title, preferring the 1994 version that revamped everything right down to the physics, I have boundless respect for anyone who starts their kid with the older stuff and have them actually enjoy it. Even without mentioning video games, this guy strikes me as one righteous dude, so somebody give him a thing, because god knows I won’t.
But I will give money to the creator of Cave Story, and not just for whenever I decide to buy Cave Story+, but when he’s done with his new title, Gero Blaster. You’re a space frog, there are baddies, and you’re saving a cat who is your girlfriend… okay, here’s $10. You sir have proven yourself time and time again, so I will patiently await your title and probably not buy it because I’d need to input credit card info, and it is very easy to forget about how the 3DS is a thing. And because I still need to beat Crashmo, and refuse to get any more help on a few puzzles that battered my bacon.
But changing the subject away from older stuff, while keeping the whole Japanese oddness, Suda51, a creator I have limitless respect for despite only playing two of his games and owning three. While not promoting his rad looking new title, Killer is Dead, he blurted out how the PS4 makes him… horny… Okay, Mr. Suda. Never grow up despite being, I dunno, I think you’re nearly 50. But in all seriousness, this is the kind of attitude I want to see form creators, because if you can’t have fun with what you’re doing, it is probably not worth anyone’s time.
Speaking of eccentric Japanese game designers, The Kojima spoke from his mountain made to hide the subtlety of the shack that is The Phantom Pain, with a suggestion. Make pilot episodes for larger games. Which, considering games will probably cost 70-100 million now, is a pretty good idea. Indie developers have become popular for that very reason, they can get out games with as much entertainment points for under a fortieth of the budget. And it would test the waters for new IPs, which is always nice. Seeing as how we don’t want to become another Hollywood, making a new generic Golden Axe or gritty Streets of Rage remake… oh, wait. Those were both things… I’m sad now.
Onto a far happier topic, the ever reluctant to create a new Smash Brothers title, because he was literally forced into making the third one, Sakurai, pretty much simultaneously said Brawl had crap online, and the game is meant to be played with items. Now, I am not a man of absolutes, but I loathe anyone who bothers to learn the ins and outs of fighting games while berrading other people to as well. New flash fish holes, if you can tier characters, and they are not all equal, then the game is rubbish! You’re pretty much playtesters at this point, seeing as how Fighters are more about exploitation from what I’ve seen than, than about having fun with a cool looking dude, lady, or thingamajig. Sorry, competitive gaming fills me up with more negative emotions than genocide.
Realizing that I wasn’t happy at all, there is good news regarding the Vita, namely that it is actually selling! After the price drop of about $50 in Japan, sales have been steady. Which is good for one market, but Sony realized that the Vita was a bad idea as an American product, and decided that they want to wait it out until they absolutely must drop the price, or they will sell three digit’s worth a week. Seriously, I want to get one, but I need justification to buy one and the still nut crackingly expensive memory cards, because SD cards are the gateway to piracy, or some rubbish like that.
Yeah, I guess I’m just bitter this week, and hearing more about Assassin’s Creed, “hey let’s start numbering every sequel from now on”, IV. Namely how it has seven studios contributing to it. Ubisoft Singapore will work on the naval combat, Ubisoft Kiev and Quebec will do the rest of the single player. Ubisoft Sofia, which shows how unworldly I am, because I forgot Bulgaria was a modern country, is doing the modern day elements, which is odd because of how I heard Assassin’s Creed III ended. While Ubisoft Spain and Romania are doing multiplayer, which I completely forgot the series had. All held together by Ubisoft Montreal, a studio currently pumping out a Rainbow Six game and Watch Dogs. Holy hell Ubisoft! No wonder Rayman Origins’ credits took 15 minutes when you hire about 5,000 people, and that is not even much of an exaggeration, it might be less than the truth. How do these people even stay organized, since I’d assume that not everyone speaks the same language. And how many people are even working on this? Because last time over 500 people made one game, we got Resident Evil 6.
But while the Capcom beating stick is in arm’s length, I’m going to be upset about them canning the Mega Man MMO. Sure, it was Korean, which means as much as a Turkish comic not coming to the rest of the world, which seems odd in itself. Surely the costs of altering text for a title cannot be far from the potential rewards for putting this game in English, or even Japanese. Instead it is continuing the streak that Capcom does not care about one of their original franchises, when other people do. I mean, what was even your intention with this title if you’re killing it off after about three years? It’s like proposing a travelling circus, and stopping before you can get to the big cities, after people would assume that you’d go to them to get more money.
Speaking of making money, Fire Emblem Awakening sold a bunch. Well, it was 180,000 physical copies, and over 60,000 downloads, but it was enough to cause a shortage, which is something I am totally cool with, seeing as how there is, and will always be, a digital download that you can buy. Although, I still feel the need to call egg for the whole DLC kaboodle. If only because it was done when the game was released, and if you gave away several different campaigns for Pokemon Conquest for $0, not that they exist anymore, same with Dragon Quest IX. It seems odd to ask us for cash now, especially when there will eventually be the game’s worth in little bits of DLC, which I just find to be a reason to ignore your game until two thousand never when the DLC is released with the game for one price. Yes, I am petty!
But you know what actually does make me happy? And by happy I mean Saints Row Mutter Freakin IV was properly announced! And as much as I want to get super duper mega hyped up for it, I certainly have a few concerns. First of all, it is claiming to be the climax to the saga, which I find to be a bit concerning. A climax is normally at the end of a story, so why would Deep SIlver, or any publisher have their first entry into a series be the final one, when getting one every two or three years sounds fairly refreshing. Secondly, it is not only tackling a story about aliens coming down, a VR simulated world, superpowers, but you are also the president?
Even considering all of the reused assets, this seems a bit too much for one game. Because now I am expecting the VR mission from Saints Row 3, Earth Defense Force, Prototype/Project Awakened, but also the semi-obscure Japan only Xbox game from the creators of Dark Souls, Metal Wolf Chaos! And yes, that does sound like the best game one could ever possibly make. However, after Saints Row The Third seemed to have all the right cards, but fall short in some areas, I don a cloak of healthy skepticism, even though I have not been this excited about a game prior to launch since Virtue’s Last Reward. Which you should have already bought… The 3DS version is not bad, okay? The game is coming out August 23rd for the three expected platforms. Let’s hope it is not a glitchfest like Dead Island, the last promising game Deep Silver stuck their hands in. But hey, end of the generation, keep titles a good distance away from the Geneigt consoles, which is my way of saying gen eight, because it sounds better, like Kdicarus.
And I’m out of news, so here’s a funny little conversation about games and their influence. Now I’m off to play a game about feudal Japan, except with giant robots and super humans. So…Yeah. Also Golden Sun: Dark Dawn, which I’m finding to be rubbish.
Wait! This is post 200! Well… I talked about Saints Row, so this celebration is objectively radical.