Rundown (8/25-8/31) This Is PAX Week And Jack Came From It

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I dunnoGotta keep on posting stuff or else I will be set on fire by the God King! Row Row Write The Power!

Level 5 had the first tidbit that caught my eye. Where the studio behind Dragon Quest IX, Ni No Kuni, and the Professor Laytons announced that they’ve got a brand new RPG in the works for PS3, iOS, Android, Vita, Xbox One, PS4, and even the Wii U. It is called WonderFlick and it looks very bleh. Featuring a very deliberately cutesy art style, but one that seems very much made for the mobile markets it will be stretching into. While the glimpses at the combat are just flicking commands at enemies, which looks uninvolved and far slower than the normal person would like to flick stuff. Or in other words, it seems like it is aiming for a very wide audience, and I’m not sure if things will pan out.

Nyarko This WIll Likely Fail Not gonna work Sorry

Which is also more or less what I feel about the announced Layton 7. A Role Play Puzzle game that will not necessarily be about the professor, and rather several other characters going about a town and digging into the plethora of puzzles. With confidence dropping even more based on how the screenshots for the iOS version looks very bleh. Further cementing the fact that I’m at heart a bleeding tech racist by how iOS gaming fills me with rancid feels. Hoo-freaking-ray.

Haganai Oh Fuck Yeah!

I don’t like my dragons with giant heads, my 3DS games to be on that iOS, no more than half of politicians to be male, and the Metro series to still be the Metro series. As Deep Silver allegedly made a good amount of money from Metro: Last Light based on how it cost them about $5 million and four months of development, but now crave a broader audience. Which I can’t view as anything but missing the point. Metro is a cold and dark voyage through a destroyed world with little help of saving, and shooting should not be something captivating or all that fun, but a necessity for survival. I just hope they view that as an integral and untouched part of the series. Still should go and play that Last Light, I got the base game for a penny after all and buying the Ranger patch would bring it up to just $5.

SCD Somethgin Bad Will Happen so eat an apple

On a lighter note of series, Bravely Default, that game where I mentally get the R and L switched around every time I need to reference it, looks to be getting a sequel, but it really isn’t. A new title under the name of Bravely Default: For The Sequel is coming out this winter in Japan, butit is really just Bravely Default+. Including difficulty switches, better controls, a few extra scenes, and areas, and more save slots. My gut says that this will be the western version, seeing as how Nintendo is already waiting until 2014 to give us this game, or will at least be DLC, as that is another form it shall take when it arrives this winter.

TDIAPT I'll Only Pay For Physical No Digital In My House Diggs

Speaking of which, I’m sure that all have heard of how the 2DS is a thing that is happening. Let’s start with the design, it looks like the horrible offspring of a $100 tablet computer and a 3DS due to how the clamshell, one of the DS’ best aspects, is not included. That, and despite the claims that it is actually comfortable sound very unconvincing, as holding it seems like it would be far more prone to falling. Especially given how the intended market is suppose to be 5-6 year olds. Or just kids who really want a tablet, but their parents don’t want to spend more than the $130 price tag. Though, I’d guess that this will go the way of that additional nub thing that nobody even thinks about with the 3DS, let alone supports any more. It certainly looks like just as much of a joke. Hell, the people at IGN initially thought it to be a load of it.

Sialor Moon Fucking Bear Sex Fun Time

Also, in something that probably should’ve been attached to a Nintendo Direct, the Wii U will receive a $50 price cut come September 20th. With the originally $350 deluxe model now being the only one, as I recall noting way back in the before times, now being the only one and hopefully standing out enough. However, even with a Wind Waker bundle to tie people over, I must admit that my confidence is not raised. The system is technically lacking, and only has a $100 lead before the other systems thanks to that ultimately stupid second screen that nobody is using all that well, or needs after everybody stole that idea with much glee.

KS Butt and Thighs are mine Pedophilia Grandpa

Something that I would classify as smart, not that the 2DS is a bad plan, would be how Platinum Games is willing to become a second party Nintendo developer and Nintendo could make this a reality. While the many teams at the magical house on a hill somewhere are very happy worker elves, there are only so many toys that can be made without calling up another company to help carry the slack. What the hell am I saying? Nintendo used to have Rare, and they made one game a year. While Retro, who can be viewed as a replacement, have made about one every other year if you want to just use the numbers. When third parties are fleeing, go pick up some for yourself. Having the strongest first party and best IP in the industry doesn’t mean much if there’s only one good game every quarter. You have what? Five Wii U games coming out in 2014? Break reality and fulfill my Nintendo dreams, I order you!

Nyarko I am The Code Geass Cosplay I will rule your dick with mine

Seriously, throwing in a Code Geass reference- erm, or don’t, and leave me with the current world. Which does have things that would probably never bloom in my world of dinosaurs, constant penises, and magic. Like that Zeboyd games studio, known for making classic JRPGs that are really quite good considering they’re made by two guys and a musical person and often in under a year. With the next go at capturing that 16-bit goodness being a love letter to Phantasy Star called Cosmic Star Heroine. Which I’d love to sing praises of, but the Sega Cd-esc cutscene didn’t really do it for me. To be fair, the game has been in development for only about two months as the programmer is still trying to get used to Unity, so it may be awhile before it looks rad. Either way, I’m totally giving them a cool $25 whenever they try to kickstart this cow.

SB Go For It

Which is a very easy unintentional segway into another Kickstarter darling, Keiji Inafune’s Mega Man spiritual successor, Mighty No. 9. Something that sends several things through my brain. Wow, Japan really does not know how to do the English names properly, they didn’t even use the word number. Jeepers, this thing already got half the needed funding and it’s been less than a day since its launch? And finally, hey, Inafune, what about that freaking Penguin pirate 3DS game? Later this year in Japan? Kay, and after Yaiba is out, I guess you would need something to, produce. All in all, I’m sure the game will be good, but $15 for the game or no investment.

SAO This is a girl under 16... Japan!

I say that realizing how much money needs to be processed by the legendary machines of 2188, and how much those shovellers need to work as it only accepts pennies, a rarity after the fifth apocalypse. …Dragon Age Inquisition looks expensive! A surprise to me, as the prior two titles looked very muddy and felt like they were something either built between a generation or within 16 months, because they were. With environments allegedly as big as the entirety of the fairly lazily designed sequel, and combat that was actually designed to work as both an action RPG and a strategy game. It’s probably up there in my anticipation list as Bioware impressed me last generation before the series they created was in my mind murdered by people who were crying about it being raped in the ass with a spiked cock.

PGOS It Sounds like sex unintentially

Actually, what games am I looking forward to in 2014? Transistor, Strider, The Evil Within, Daylight, Murdered: Soul Suspect, Super Time Force, Smash Brothers, Binding of Isaac Rebirth, Bravely Default, Among The Sleep, Ghost Song: A Journey of Hope, A Hat In Time, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Oddworld: New ‘n’ Tasty, and Metal Gear Solid V. Okay, so 15 overall, unless I count exclusives to systems I don’t have like Xenocrunk on the Wii U. Go home now kids, comment and I may just give you a steam key or something.

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