Nari’s Log Cycle 02: The Omnibahn

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Nari’s Log was a ambitious unfinished sci-fi novella created by Natalie Neumann. Natalie does not recommend that you try to read the original work due to its low quality, structural issues, and grammatical errors. Instead, she encourages you to read the summary included in Volume 06: Nari’s Logof The Saga of Vincent Dawn and Volume 02: Nari’s Log of Natalie Rambles About The Saga of Vincent Dawn to better understand the content of this novella.

Well, I suppose that I need to have another of these Logs. A bit odd how these work, but at least everything was explained for me after blue face knocked me out. I can still see the stink lines of what I am certain to be bullshit emitting from this furry chap’s words, but more on that later. Now to talk about what I think will be the rest of my life.

I woke up inside of a small bedroom which looked very similar to a victorian era sleeper train car, if such a thing existed. Let alone one with light bulbs. It was the first thing that grabbed my attention, with the lovely polish and woodwork. Even the design of the bed I was in had a lot of care place in its. Although, I think I was sort into this kind of stuff back where ever I came from. But I was quickly distracted by how I felt a fabric covering my body. I began to try and get a good look at myself without using a mirror.

I was donned in some sort of white trench coat with light cyan rims. Along with yellow buttons for the center and several pockets I found both inside and outside of the jacket. All of which were unsurprisingly empty. Beneath it, I found a simple black shirt that was probably a size too small based on how tight it was. While my legs were covered in trousers which looked to be part of a set with my jacket. And my feet were covered by some black boots that felt to be elevated an inch or so.

But my attention was then sidetracked by to the room once more, where I noticed a window. Upon glancing out the window, I was greeted by a purple and orange ball that was accompanied by a mostly black background filled with little white dots. And it was moving around me. I first thought it to be some sort of trick, but I could see the depth, I could tell that this wasn’t some screen, this had to be real. I could feel the movement beneath my feet. I was in a train that was flying through space.

The only reaction that I found to be appropriate was a simple, “What the hell?” Which, like clockwork, seemed to cause the door of the room, which I chose not to even check to open up. I turned on my heels and glanced at who the intruder was. It was the navy skinned girl. Now donned in a sleeveless dark green tunic with maroon sleeves beneath. Along with tan boots that nearly went up to her knees, and some thin black trousers, or perhaps they were stockings. I dunno any of this fashion junk!

Being nothing short of a massive derp, I began stuttering out questions to her while pointing all over the place. “Who? Why? When? What? Why me this space? Why the train? Who are we? Am I you?” As I was muttering, she began to chuckle, a contrast to her original demeanor when she soullessly took me aboard a glowing train car and injected me with… something.

She began to speak to me, although her voice was far more, shall I say, submissive. “Well, Nari, I’m sorry for all of this. But, you see, The Doctor gave me an order to take you in before you knew anything. So he gave me something to boost my confidence. He called them confidence pills, obviously enough. And, um, now that you’re awake, The Doctor is ready to see you.”

She stared at the floor as she spoke, poor girl, can barely even talk to a textbook definition of a “gentleman”. Which I demonstrated by showing my “wit”. “The Doctor? Am I sick or some junk? And what the hell did you inject me with?” Yeah, classy job, me. The girl responded, still looking at the floor. “Um, no. You are not sick. Never will be again, because of um… But he’s not that kind of Doctor, or really any normal kind based on what he briefed us with- Oh, I’m saying too much. He’ll do a better job than me. But I only injected you with a sleeping drug. Technically a lethal injection for something you called an elephant, but it barely kept you out for eight hours. Please, Nari. Just follow me, I’m not much of a people person.”

Near the end of her mumblings, her face looked like it was a deformed red grape, so I decided that I would pity her, and just go see this, “Doctor”. She led me out of my room and into the main section of the train car. Where everything looked to be very sci-fi looking, with slick metal everywhere, and little screens that meant nothing as far as I was concerned, She directed me to a similarly designed door, which opened as we got closer. Inside was another train car, but this one was not a sleeper car, it was basically just a big room. There were no windows to speak of, just wood panelling on the walls. With a tan shag carpet coated floor, a bunch of bean bag chairs scattered about, a cream colored sofa, and one massive TV. There were even some sort of vending machines located in the back. It looked more like a Rec Room from a the 90s than anything I’d expect to see. Just needed a ping-pong table.

Upon entering, the TV, which was planted on the end of the train car so there was next to no wall showing. Began to turn on, along with a very curious image. It looked like a Red Panda with the body type of a seven year old, wearing a red and blue birthday hat. It seemed to stare right at me as it smirked and began to speak. It sounded kinda like a mediocre female voice actor imitating a child as it spoke. “Oh yeah! It’s the new guy, the one who’ll make this a polygon, the third for our trio! It’s Nari, from Universe Z37! Ah, Y’vonne, go play with Maxxi in her bunk. I want this fine slice of ham all to myself as he bakes in my oven of discovery!”

The navy skinned girl, Y’vonne, then pitter-pattered away, not saying a word. Seeing as things went quiet for a few seconds, I saw it fit for me to speak. “So… you’re a talking animal?” It began to chuckle. “Well Nari-Warye, fun fact, you’re a… what was it? Homo Sapien? That’s technically in the Animal kingdom!” I scoffed a bit. “Yeah, I guess I knew that- Okay, can you explain this wack shit to me, because I am just not getting anything that’s been thrown down, okay?” The Red Panda began to smile.

“Of course, my sweet! Hopefully it’ll come out crescent fresh! And if you’d be so kind, I prefer to be called The Doctor.” I tilted my head. “Okay, Doctor. I really just want to know where I am, where I was before I was on this space train, why I am apparently immortal, and what these Logs were about.” He looked down as if he had something in front of him, and came up with a few sheets of paper.

The actual conversation took about two hours, and he told me that it would be okay to abridge it, along with others like it. First off, he began to explain that there were countless universes in this dimension. All being different in ways that were either massive, or just slightly off. The Doctor and the blue skinned girl, Y’vonne, were from two entirely different universe from myself. And normally, it would be impossible for us to meet in any form, at least until The Doctor came into existence.

One universe where technology advanced at a faster rate than any others, eventually created a spaceship that was able to travel to the edge of that one universe. Or Universe Prime as The Doctor called it. It was a feat that was not even possible on the surface level, since every universe is eternally expanding. Meaning that there should never be any edge. But for a few hours, a spaceship managed to go so much faster than the universe was growing that it ended up going ahead of it, causing the universe to more or less shatter.

With that, a shockwave ended up creating a holding place for every universe from whatever space originally lied between. Causing several thousands universes, at least thus far, to bleed into each other. Creating my residence for the rest of my days, the Omni. Along with The Doctor, who was, “Birthed from the recobbled remains of some of the ship’s fleshier lifeforms.” Something that was not so much a single universe with established rules, as much as it was one where the rules were altered on every other planet. Where new assets were introduced and thrown around creating what had to be an unfathomable amount of planets, stars, and rocks that floated in what was originally nothingness. However, we are apparently just exploring the more “normal” stuff for now, seeing as how some worlds could drive others insane merely trying to comprehend them.

The only main restriction in the Omni itself is that very few things other than light can seem to go across its equivalent to outer space With there only being a few exceptions One was the ship that originally created the Omni, which was converted into a train for a reason that The Doctor was unaware of. With parts being scattered across the ever growing Omni, although they were all now collected, according to The Doctor. Either way, he eventually gave this space train a name, the Omnibahn.

Besides the Omnibahn, there was a trait picked up from a now incorporated universes, known as Shifting. Something that had only been found in three lifeforms, Me, Y’vonne, and someone called Maxxi, who I’ll get to later. All of which, along with being impervious to any permanent injuries or anything that would cause them to no longer exist, have the ability to toss our consciousness over to another individual, known as a Host, while our bodies are knocked out. A Host can be nearly any lifeform on the Omni, where a Shifter retains some muscle memory and minor vocal inflections of the Host. It is the only way we can get on any of the planets in the Omni. The Doctor claimed he tried, after clarifying that it was indeed a he, but the Omnibahn just stayed in orbit as he tried to land it on several dozen worlds. Instead, he had to Shift us Shifters into Hosts, so that we could explore the worlds for him.

And the best way he could get accurate information, was to use a process known as Loging. Where the Shifters would need to Log their experiences whenever they lose consciousness before they can regain it. Not entirely sure how, something about capturing thoughts. But how did he manage this? What did he really want? Well, I’d say he was lying, but he was obviously reading my Logs, so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he’s just as confused as I am. That, and I feel compelled to tell the truth during these things.

Since he was involved in the creation of the Omni, which had the most advanced computers in the nearby universes, he just kinda had a lot of random knowledge in his head. To put it in his words, “I managed to use my brain’s powers to manipulate junk in space to put a train together from bits and pieces. But I don’t know how to write a stinking Haiku! Y’vonne said it was something like 7-5-7 syllables, but I just can’t remember stuff like that. Kinda like a Super-Autistic!”

Talking about his brain only brought forth more topics, as he began to talk about how he was trapped in a giant tin can since he was created. He could, however, manipulate loose matter not tied down to a planet, and even a few things on individual worlds in the Omni. Which was how he lifted the train car up and is moving it.

But how did The Doctor bring forth Y’vonne and make the train car radiate? Well, that was actually just The Doctor manipulating the train in order to get me to come aboard it by myself. He managed to manipulate the structure and light around it in a way that it looked like Y’vonne was in the train, but it was actually just her image being projected until the train was able to shoot up with the rest of the Omnibahn. So she was never actually there, until the door shut behind me and she injected me with a powerful tranquilizer.

It was all well and good, but what about Flare and Akarin? They were, as The Doctor put it, “Normals”. Individuals in the Omni without the power to Shift, or manipulate matter like he could. Their fate was unknown, and he did not seem to care. Briefly muttering about how there’s about one followed by a trillion zeroes of “Normals” in the Omni. Seeing as how a couple thousand universes were integrated thus far.

The conversation was nearly over, but I still had one question for him. “Taking all of that into stride, what do you desire? Why bother with all of this?” He was drinking his tenth squeezed apple at this point, so I think he was getting a bit antsy about all these questions. “Well Nari, good job remembering that one. But truth be told, I’m just exploring this place, the great reaches of the Omni, because I feel like someone needs to do it. Or maybe I’ve just got some programming stuck in my brain, I dunno!”

“Alright…” I murmured as I adjusted myself on a bean bag. “So when exactly do I start doing whatever it is that I do? This whole Shifting thing.” The Doctor demonstrated his charm by belching up some apple skin before responding. “Um, let’s see, adjusting for the new train car, all the unexplored planets, me celebrating everything just right… Converted in the time system we chose, it’s the same as your’s, four hours.”

I shrugged, asking if there was anything I could do during the inbetween time. Yet, as The Doctor’s eyes began to glimmer, I knew that I shouldn’t have said that. He pulled a microphone from the side of the screen, and began to shout through some sort of intercom system on the Omnibahn. “Maxxi, getcha round tuchus to the Rec Room, it is playtime!” Within five seconds, I heard the door I entered from open, along with a high pitched squee.

I turned my head to see what made that noise, and was greeted by a brown robe donned pregnant teenage Indian woman. She skedaddled into the room, with the biggest smile on her face. She had pure yellow eyes that gave her a very cat-like quality. This woman, who I presumed to be Maxxi, began to speak in a fairly high pitched voice that sounded like a cartoon rendition of a talking fluff-ball. She did not have a lisp as much as she just had a very self imposed vocal inflection, so she would naturally say things like, “sorry” as, “sowwy”.

“Yip-yip-yip! New friend, new friend! How’ll we do these relationships? Will we be growing close through Shifts, or will we fallen love right now?” Without thinking, I knew that this had to stop, so I placed my hand over her mouth, and tried to calm her down. “Cool it sugar-rush! First off, you’re pregnant, don’t you have a husband, or at least a boyfriend? Secondly, why would you just assume that I’d ‘fallen love’ with you? I just met you! Is it just because I have a penis? Thirdly, I don’t really have any desire to have a relationship right now, since I’m in a new world that pretty much throws away everything I have ever know.”

Maxxi’s cat eyes began to twinkle a bit from me being a little harsh. “Aw, but Nari, I hoped we could have adult playtime together. Doccie took all my toys away. And Y’vonne doesn’t like to play with me. So can we just have one playdate?” I pinched my temple and took a deep breath. “Doctor, what is this hypersexual little girl in a woman’s body doing here?” “Huh? Oh, she’s weird? Been so long I forgot. Anywho, she’ just got a high sex drive. But we needed to take her off the sexy stuff after she managed to get herself pregnant with her own semen.” I mentally did a double take on that before responding. “Did I heard that just right? Did this girl impregnate herself?”

Maxxi took this as an ample opportunity to jump back into the conversation. “Tee-heh! I just wanted to try doing it both ways, so Fuzzy’s form changer to make meself into all kindsa things! Mostly just doing on a dolphin run, and fulfilling my lifelong dream of being a dog who gave birth and then ate her adorfable puppies! But me child is from me mixing my old pee-pee and new vagina together.”

I twitched for a few seconds. “You used to be a man, used something to become a hermaphrodite or whatever, and literally fucked yourself… Is this the bar being set?” The Doctor agreed, as he suddenly had pom-poms, and began shouting, “Y-E-S!” I facepalmed, only to be interrupted by Maxxi, as she started playing with my hair and singing. “Ooo! So white, snow white! Shining highly, shining bright! All the way through the night! Yay, yay, yay!”

I took her odd “song” in stride, but the hair was what got to me. I actually never got a chance to look at my face, since there was never any mirror that I encountered in my journey this far. I immediately asked to see one, as The Doctor flipped over part of the train car’s wooden wall to reveal one. I knew that something was wrong when I had to ask myself if the reflection was actually me.

My reflection had on the same trench coat ensemble that I had, but my head was topped by a longish set of “platinum blonde”, with cyan eyes that seemed to radiate as I stared at them. While my face itself actually looked pretty sharp, something felt off. I brought this question up in the form of, “Um, hey Doc, do you know if anything weird happened to my face?” “Hmph?” He replied. “As far I can tell, your body was mostly unaltered in the joining of your universe. Why, not handsome enough for you?”

“Um… no, it’s just, well…” I was cut off by Maxxi as she hopped on my back. “Aw, I don’t care if your face is screwy, I know you’ve got it where it counts. Cause your Nari Junior ist nicht so junior.” I dropped her off, about to spit on her before The Doctor averted attention back to him. “Yo, Maxxi. You’re tactics aren’t going to work. It’s kinda like beastiality. You just can’t cure it with moist vaginas.” “The hell are you talking about?” Was the most appropriate thing I could muster.

“Oh, you got hit by the dodgeball of amnesia pretty hard, didn’t ya?” Replied The Doctor. “Well, how do I put it? I actually did some intensive tests on you, Maxxi, and Y’vonne. And you seemed to have something very interesting in your old libido, namely that it is gone. Which, at least for the sake of the Omni, makes you Asexual. Grats, bro!“ I pulled my eyebrows for some relief. “So, I basically don’t have any sex drive?” The Doctor brought the pom-poms back out, and began shouting, “B-I-N-G-O! What’s that spell?” To which Maxxi replied, “ Bingo? Do I get him back? He was my favorite because of how he locked in.” In what I think was a reference to a sex toy, gross.

“Um, Doctor, may I be excused from this conversation, I think I know everything I need to.” I said going towards the exit and trying to remember the room I woke up in. Yet, Maxxi grabbed my legs and started to hold me down. I sighed and asked her to get off as politely as I could. To which she shook her head. “Look, Maxxi. You seem like a nice enough person. But I just want a break to take all this crazy crap in. Can you at least give me that?” I said with apathy, as she started to make puppy dog eyes. I quickly remembered the image of her own impregnation, and shook any regret off, along with her, before she called me a, “poop”. Although, I made out The Doctor giving me one last piece of exposition. “And go explore the Omnibahn. Trust me, it’s totally childproof!”

Without even regarding the idea of using a bathroom, getting food, or changing into some new clothes, I jogged back to the room I awoke in, which had a wooden plaque next to it reading, “Nari’s Pad”. Heh, kinda cute, I guess. Not sure how long it took for me to exit consciousness, but I did so while doing what I just spent the past while, think about all the crazy shit that I’ve been in. No idea what the future holds, but I suppose that this would be better than, say, falling into a black hole. Although, I kinda wish I could remember something about my previous life. Actually, then I would have a more solidified frame of reference, making this place all the more uncanny. So maybe this whole lack of memories thing is a blessing more than a curse.

End Of Cycle

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