Rundown (9/19-9/25) Natalie Is Incompetent — Never Trust Her

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  • Reading time:27 mins read
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Wherein I discuss how I cannot complete a simple child-level task, a potential revival of a niche game series nobody actually cares about, a faux celebration by barons of incalculable greed, the Kotick-Epstein Connection, and a Semi-Dope Nintendo Direct.

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Rundown (9/09-9/15) Bonk This Bank!

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  • Reading time:17 mins read
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This is such a petty thing, but the way Pokemon Bank subscriptions are handled really bothers me. At first I thought that if your subscription lapsed, you could more or less indefinitely recover your stored Pokemon, but no, they are erased from the server after a while, and then they are gone forever, which is utter nonsense, especially considering how renewing one’s subscription works. You need to wait until you have 14 days or less left on your pass before you can extend the subscription, and if you forget, say goodbye to whatever is in there. No email notifications, no nothing. I have a near complete Pokedex (I missed Marshadow a while back), a box of shinies, alternate forms, and a Ditto with 3 perfect IVs in there. Do you know how upset and fundamentally broken I would be if I were to lose all of that? More than a goldarn smidget.
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Rundown (12/04-12/10) A Mostly Two Tone Rundown

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  • Reading time:11 mins read
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vlcsnap-2016-11-13-11h59m13s766Seeing as how Final Fantasy XV has released to high praise from critics and fans alike, I got to thinking, when was the last time a Final Fantasy game was universally beloved and saw wondrous success? Well, the answer I came to is Final Fantasy X, a game originally released in 2001, 15 years ago. Since then, the series never had a wholly beloved mainline release, and modern entries steadily fell into mediocrity and mockery after experiencing the height of its popularity. (more…)

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Final Fantasy XIII-3: Lightning Returns Review

000In my quest to explore, experience, and analyze the Final Fantasy XIII Trilogy, as seen in my reviews for XIII and XIII-2, I was dreading this installment. Not due to any quality concerns, but due to the time limit. I was horrified by the idea of being unable to do everything I can in a given amount of time. It was enough for me to go through this game with a guide to assist me, and I played the game on easy mode as well, because Square Enix actually recommended doing so. (more…)

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Final Fantasy XIII-2 Review

2016-01-09_00040I’m pretty sure that everyone who played Final Fantasy XIII at launch did not expect Square Enix to make a sequel for it, even those who managed to look past a plethora of problems and enjoy the game. The ending was very cut and dry, and the reception quickly lost its warmth after the hype died down. So it was surprising when not only did Square Enix choose to continue the story, they chose to take the already confusing plot of XIII and insert time travel into it, which almost sounds like a joke. (more…)

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Final Fantasy XIII Review

This was Final Fantasy XIII by Plague of GripesI have been waiting to revisit this game for years now. If only because I built up so much hype and excitement for Final Fantasy XIII before its release, and the fact that I actively enjoyed it back when it first came out. Heck, the fact it was a multiplatform title was what sold me on the console I primarily used for the next five years. As such, I felt I have some unfinished business to attend to with this title, and going back to it after all this time was at least a little disheartening. (more…)

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Rundown (9/06-9/12) Chronologically Correct Sonic OSTs

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0 DR I have no fanfic bigotry jerk fuckwit good girlI am surprised that Sega has not tried to shut down Sonic World, as it is basically a refined and reworked best-of compilation of Sonic Adventure 1, 2, and Heroes, all games I grew up with and love in a way, even if they don’t play very well. But seeing that combined with enough care and autistic fan devotion to add in every possible playable character from Heavy and Bomb to Fang the Sniper makes me jitter in sheer disbelief that this is real. True, I only played two levels of the game as Knuckles before I realized that this game was definitely still in an alpha or pre-alpha state and put it down, but if it is ever completed, this fan-game may very well be the best Sonic game. (more…)

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Rundown (2/22-2/28) My Output Has Been Murdered; Prepare the Bullets of Justice

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DR2 Feel the DesPair You Little CuntI am aware that my output for reviews has lessened, but Neptunia was a massive time investment, and I just shelved World End Economica after a few hours, as I found the game to be more irritating than it was interesting. The main character is something of an entitled brat who does not respect humanity’s past, makes his money by playing the stock market, wears a scarf and shorts, and is a blatant misogynist, and I quite frankly was sick of both him and the side characters. The visual novel is also pretty irritatingly written, with most of its script coming off as awkward or as if it was not read through prior to the game’s publishing. So there will not be a review of it despite my tweets bad mouthing the game, as I’d rather play… Um… I’ll pick something. (more…)

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Rundown (9/07-9/13) Devouring the Bum of the Duck & Dog

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  • Reading time:5 mins read
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0 BTM Buttocks…Is this Quinnspiracy and Hashtag GamerGate thing still going on? Cripes, I would hate to be alive during a war that had any relevance to most of the world, I would be tired of the bloody concept after a single season. I understand it is a bad thing, but the internet is great for developing an attention span of a rat, so it is surprising that this issue was not dropped so everybody can start eating the poophole of Smash Brothers. (more…)

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Rundown (6/11-6/14) E3 2014: The Mopping of Lost Souls

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0KLK Because of that we are soul sisters and don't you forget it broskyE3 has come and gone for the year, returning next time for event number 21 during June 15th to 18th, but that is too far away to remember. Instead, it is enough to remember everything that happened, and what happened outside of the press conferences. That is what this post is for, but it also covers unrelated events that occurred at the same time, because that’s just efficient. I am sure to be missing a lot as I fixate on the things I care about, but here are my Krimskrams of information as always. (more…)

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Rundown (2/16-2/22) I Am Disappointed With This Meal!

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ButtholeI suppose this is the paragraph where I should speak of Diddy Kong coming back to Smash, but the return is expected much like Yoshi’s come mid-March. Instead, I want to talk about Pokemon, and how much I wish GameFreak would release tools to create one’s own Pokemon adventure using assets from the newest games. Or in other words, just make ROM hacks easier to make and be something that can be played on the 3DS. Why? Because I’d play Pokemon so much more often then and my 276 hours with X were not enough. 10 Pokemon to go… fart! (more…)

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