Natalie & Cassie Ramble About The Star Wars Nonology

Post published:12/20/2023
Post category:Rambles
Reading time:110 mins read
Post comments:6 Comments

A long time ago, in a Discord channel closer than you may think…

Table of Contents:

Introduction – Nyat’ouli System

Ah geez, and here I thought that Natalie.TF would be a relatively Star Wars free place. Star Wars was something I was into as a kid, and considering I was born in 1994, that should be an anti-surprise. My dad made me custom DVDs of the original trilogy shortly after we got a VHS/DVD combo player in 2002/2003. The prequel movies came out from when I was four to ten, and were some of my most frequent library rentals. I had a bunch of old Kenner Star Wars toys from my paternal uncles, including a rancor with a broken arm. And I thought the Tartakovsky directed Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) series was the coolest non-anime cartoon as a kid.

But after watching 2008’s Star Wars: The Clone Wars feature film with my estranged buddy Matt— during the same summer I fell into the TSF rabbit hole, I sorta stopped caring about the series. Emphasis on sorta, as Star Wars is such a big IP that it is hard to remain fully divorced from it, and the hubbub around the sequel trilogy was so loud and vicious it was hard to ignore it.

So while I have not watched a Star Wars film in 15 years, it is a series that I do know a fair bit about, as I’ve listened to various discussions, know what the recent trilogy of films was like, and am generally familiar with the trappings of the series. Also, I played the two Knights of the Old Republic games. They’re good games, but I find them hard to go back to due to how clunky they feel and the d20-based combat.

So, when Cassie offered to go through this trilogy-squared, I figured, sure, why the heck not? That sounds like a fun way to spend two months of Sundays!

Introduction – Cassandrilicious System

I’m pretty sure I must’ve hurt Natalie somehow… Watch all the Star Wars movies, including the Disney ones? NOOOoooooooooo!!!

Cough.

Anyway, I love Star Wars. It’s part of my childhood in so many ways that asking me to explain my relationship with it is like trying to explain the world, there’s just so much of it.

Most of my experience with Star Wars can be put toward the various games that came out at the time, such as the two classic Battlefronts or the glorious Star Wars: Empire at War which is one of the best RTS sci-fi games I’ve ever played and still remains great to this day. I spent years with Battlefront on the PS2 alongside my two half-brothers and step-brother playing galactic conquest and skirmishes to pass the time.

Alongside it is the deep rabbit-hole that is Lego Star Wars. Lego Star Wars: The Video Game, the original trilogy sequel are both games I have spent many, many hours on over my younger years. My parents would frequently buy me Lego Star Wars sets and the 10221 UCS Executor is the first Lego I managed to keep built and it remains in my possession over a decade later.

I also have the recently released UCS Venator and plan to eventually get more. The amount of time I spent playing with Lego star wars stuff as a child, or some videogame relating to it. Eesh

There’s also the Clone Wars animated series, my love of sci-fi, the non-lego toys I had.
Yuppers, there’s alot about Star Wars I love. Til the Extended Universe was callously slain..

Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999)

Two Jedi Knights escape a hostile blockade to find allies and come across a young boy who may bring balance to the Force, but the long dormant Sith resurface to reclaim their old glory.

Natalie’s Thoughts:

Yeah, we’re going in chronological order. I’m not sure if people still practice the machete order like they did a decade ago, but if you’re an OG puritan, this at least means the original stuff is nice in the middle, instead of all frontloaded.

The Phantom Menace has to be one of the most widely discussed films over the past 15 years, having been subjected to so, so many analyses from White dudes born in the 80s that it is very difficult to say anything new about it. As a movie, as a continuation of a trilogy of highly influential films, and as the grand return of a large media franchise that had been simmering on the backburner for about 15 years.

Let’s start with the big question: What is this movie trying to do, what story does it want to tell, and how does it go about that? Well, it is about a “greedy” trade federation trying to exert dominance over a small democratic planet of Naboo. The leading governing body in this stretch of the universe tries to settle things peacefully by sending in two Jedi, super-powered space guardian weirdos, who the trade federation then try to kill. After these plans go bust, the trade federation launches a full military occupation of the planet, because if the numbers say so, then war is the economically correct option.

The Jedi try to get the frog people of Naboo to help out, but they’re frogs and don’t care about the surface world. So the Jedi instead take Naboo’s democratically elected queen and various other personnel to protest this unjust occupation. But their ship crashes, and they get sidetracked on a desert planet for… basically half the movie.

What do the Jedi and queen get from this diversion? Well, they get an autistic kid with biological superpowers and learn that a member of an ancient evil group of the Sith has returned. That’s… pretty much it.

By the time they finally get to the space Capitol, there’s 20 minutes of political and procedural waffling before the Jedi decide to try asking the frog people for help again, and launching an attack on the government of Naboo with… 25 people? Through cunning, fortune, and the intervention of the autistic super child, this two-pronged assault works, the military base blows up after losing one reactor, and Naboo is freed.

All of which… is a functional plot, but there is something of a discrepancy between what the story is trying to do, and trying to say. As a story… it is trying to be a prequel, and as such, it suffers from prioritizing continuity over being its own self-contained narrative. This is meant to be an origin story of sorts for Obi-wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amadala, C-3PO, R2-D2, Palpatine, and more. This is the first story that first shows what the Star Wars universe was like prior to the rise of the Empire, and it exists to establish things seen in the Original Trilogy.

When viewed on its own, without awareness of what came before and what comes after… what is this movie trying to say? That trade and taxation disputes can lead to war and the loss of liberty for innocent people? That skilled people can be found in any environment, even those that are covered in scum and lawlessness? That democracy can be inefficient if driven by bureaucracy, alliances, and capitalists who will bend the laws to match their desires? That governments should function, peace should be maintained, and diplomatic relationships should be maintained between neighbors?

Going back to the machete order I referenced earlier, it really makes me understand why Episode I is seen as skippable, because so much of it truly is just set up for later films. Set up that is interspersed with some truly dazzling spectacle, and a lot of smaller moments. Moments where the film gives its characters a chance to shine their personality. Moments and lines that are simply… really good. And moments that have been examined and mocked for… almost 20 years, making them weirdly fun to see presented in their original context.

While the designs and art direction for this trilogy, and Episode I especially, can sometimes be a bit on the bizarre side, the sheer amount of visual design present in this movie is staggering. The outfits, the creatures, the vehicles, the ships, the locales, you can practically feel the sweat and effort of the artists responsible for everything that is being seen here. They were given the opportunity to create a fantastical alien world and… it sure feels like it when watching the movie.

This is, of course, helped by the immaculate sound design and incredibly effective score. Star Wars as a series has one of the most memorable and effective scores and sound libraries across any film series, and when properly implemented, these sounds do a lot to add a level of impact to… everything.

While the story is a bit stilted, I actually really found myself enjoying the cast of characters, as they’re all a bunch of space weirdos. Quigon’s brazen confidence and conviction despite his role as a Jedi Master. Anakin’s awkward and stilted delivery that… sounds right if you’ve tried talking to a 6-year-old, especially a bilingual 6-year-old. The fact that Jar Jar Binks is basically just a slapstick cartoon character thrown into this story, for no real reason, other than to get in trouble and be so incompetent that he becomes a war hero. And the rogue’s gallery of weirdo side characters that they meet, who through just a few lines, grunts, or just a look at their face, managed to leave a positive impression.

And as a 24-year-old film that came out with the rise of the internet… it’s not that surprising that there is something referenceable present nearly every five minutes. Whether it be a rock solid line or brief scene, or something so goofy/stupid that it should be celebrated.

Overall, I would say I had a good time going back and watching this movie for the first time in 15 years. Do I think it’s a good movie? Eh, not quite. I enjoyed a lot of the moment-to-moment elements, and everything about its art direction, but its story isn’t as developed as I would like, and there are at least two twenty minute chunks that are… just kind of boring.

When it’s good, it’s good, when it’s not, it feels pretty mediocre. Which I guess would make it a… 6/10 for me.

Cassie’s Thoughts:

Phantom Menace is a delightfully underappreciated gem of a film.

Sitting as the first chronological episode of Star Wars, it is accurate to say that this was many people’s introduction to the franchise and I count myself among that. The movie delivers toward this, perhaps unintentionally, by presenting an almost magical experience and an exceptional journey into a sci-fi universe. Seriously every scene features new ships, different planets are spread throughout the movie and interesting in their own right. I think it’s glorious.

The main thing I want to discuss is the sheer auditory bliss of this movie. I absolutely love and adore everything I hear in this movie. Every sound effect is pleasure to my ear from the heavy turbolasers of the Lucrehulk while the Escape from Naboo track plays in the background, the unique sound of Padme’s Naboo based weapon, the droning engines of the CIS droid fighters. It’s all so gosh dang good. The music is simply iconic to me, with nearly every track being distinctly recognisable to me. I am sorry to Natalie for excitedly humming along to so much of the movie that at times I simply couldn’t even hear her.

This is supported by the impressive visuals at the time, a combination of CGI and set pieces and they culminate together into easily recognizable scenes and moments aplenty. The shots of Naboo city with its steep cliffs, the underwater Otoh Gunga and of course Coruscant’s delightful ecumenopolis style urban vistas. This movie is responsible for the MTT Transport, one of the most recognisable and coolest Star Wars vehicles ever thought up with its droid deploying front section. The entire section of the Droid vs. Gungan Army is great, I love it.

It’s hard to comment on the plot myself, I’ll leave the details to Nat-nee, but overall I think it does a decent enough job ferrying our cast between relevant places and peoples to provide a good experience. The movie does spend a decent amount of time on things such as Tatooine’s pod-race and not the most exciting dialogue for a decent chunk. Really my biggest complaint is how much seems to occur on Tatooine, we just can’t escape this moisture-less desert.

The characters I ultimately find much less jarring than others do. My mother simply loathes Jar-jar in this movie and I do not share the sentiment. He’s minor enough to not matter if one likes him, and antics are enjoyable for those who want it to be. I do quite like Qui-Gon Jinn and how he is shown as a Jedi who follows the force rather than the Jedi code.

All in all, Phantom Menace is one of my favorite Star Wars films. 7/10 would fit this one for me, as I simply think that it’s not quite perfect with some of the slower parts to it.

Yeah, I don’t need to tell anyone to watch this. It’s heckin’ Star Wars yo.

Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (2002)

Ten years after initially meeting, Anakin Skywalker shares a forbidden romance with Padmé, while Obi-Wan investigates an assassination attempt on the Senator and discovers a secret clone army crafted for the Jedi.

Natalie’s Thoughts:

Now we’re talking! I remember Attack of the Clones getting bogged down with some criticisms for being dry, boring, or a slog, but… I don’t know what those people were talking about, because this is pretty darn great.

While Episode I was a story largely about retaining the status quo and setting things up for the next movie, Attack of the Clones manages to craft its world well by taking the viewer on a tour across the Star Wars universe. Complete with glorious spectacle, solid action, and a likable cast of characters who drive this story. A story that is… actually pretty simple.

It starts incredibly effectively, showing a vast world, rife with the technological progress and daunting scale befitting a sci-fi story, one that shows the viewer such splendor that it’s easy to get mesmerized. …And then BAM! A ship containing an outspoken young senator blows up in an assassination attempt, and you are thrown into the fact that, while this world is prosperous, it is also falling into darkness. Conflict is not only inevitable, but a titular star war has already begun. And for the rest of the movie, we see how things escalate.

We see the unrest among the political leaders of this world painting the scene for events that will progress throughout this movie, and its sequels, but in a way that feels natural and character building. A second assassination attempt acts as the first action scene of the film, and a wonderful look into the futuristic city world the art team created. The assassination splits the two leads of this film— Anakin and Obi-Wan— who go off on parallel journeys.

With Obi-Wan playing detective as he investigates the tools of an assassin and delves deeper into a conspiracy and a suspicious tool that only goes to stoke the flames of conflict. While Anakin’s story is more… personal driven, showing him as he acts as the bodyguard for the aforementioned senator, Padmé, forming a bond with her, and showing off who he is as a character. A depiction that, honestly, could have gone in many different ways as a prequel, but… I kind of love what they did with him.

The story sets off with these two storylines, flips between them to keep things engaging and show the audience more of this truly gorgeous galaxy, before ultimately bringing them together in a final 40-ish minute act that… is just a bunch of awesome shit from front to back. The droid factory infiltration is about as cool as one can make a factory setting. The gladiatorial arena is a showcase not only of the wonderful monster designs and animations, but shows off the cunning of the three protagonists. And once the Jedi show up and we are greeted with the titular attack of the clones… it’s a thing of utter beauty.

A lavish display of the potential and power of CG animation in live action film. A showcase of excellent character and vehicle designs as characters pop in for a few seconds, vying for screen time. A battle sequence that is still dazzling with its sense of speed and scale, showing obscene displays of destruction, while brushing over them as the heroes venture toward their destination. And a climactic final battle that both shows how much Anakin and Obi-Wan have to learn and the sheer power of the forces they are up against.

It’s a story where characters change, the world depicted within it changes, and a clear goal from the outset. A story driven by the actions of characters who are easy to connect with, and is punctuated by a vast display of lavishness with both the design and technical prowess behind its presentation. And, unlike The Phantom Menace, features a very clear political message, as the story is ultimately about disagreements between governments leading to wars that usher in profound levels of destruction. About democracy dying out in favor of an economy driven by war and a battle for dominance over land and resources, all to the benefit of a group of people who want power… for the sake of power.

Yeah, most of the production on this film happened before 9/11, but George Lucas could see the signs of what the Bush administration would become. And the world’s never been the same ever since…

However, it is easy to ignore that as… the movie is just that engaging as a display of spectacle. I praised The Phantom Menace, but Attack of the Clones takes things to another level, pioneering techniques that would change films for decades to come by making heavy use of CG environments, characters, and effects. All of which have been touched up and expanded upon in subsequent releases, including the Blu-Ray copy that Cassie and I watched.

This approach can cause a level of visual dissonance, as you can clearly tell what is and is not a CG character or environment, and a few are just brazenly obvious. However, I actually think this was a great idea, as it gave the visual artists behind this film the opportunity to bring so many wonderful environments to life. Coruscant is a tour de force of artistry, with its seedy underbelly, libraries, diners, government offices, and just… everything being both spectacular in design and gorgeous in execution. The numerous desert settings know enough to make use of the spectrum of what a desert can be and how it looks. From flatlands that stretch on into an endless horizon, to sprawling sandy dunes, to aggressive red mountains. And as if the film is paranoid that the viewer might get bored of the same setting, the second act changes settings every five minutes, keeping the viewer engaged as the story builds up.

On that note, let’s talk about the characters. Obi-Wan was… just kind of there in The Phantom Menace, but here he’s grown into his own person, and a person who I would say is defined by his sense of duty and ability to achieve balance. While he is comfortable with existing among the elites, can easily slip into a formal, bureaucratic, role, and takes his duty as a Jedi seriously, he’s not a damn stick in the mud. He’s someone who needs to exist within multiple different worlds, around different personality types, and thrives in his environment. He can be snarky, impulsive, and is overall a pretty well-rounded and affable character. He’s not perfect, but he manages to embody the idea of balance as a Jedi in a way that seems far healthier and more productive than some of the elders.

While Anakin… is just great, I love this dude. Anakin is a neurodivergent teenager who, for the past decade, has been raised and trained under the expectations that he would do something incredible. He has been removed from other children his own age, from other people in general, and thrown into a world with higher stakes than he would have ever imagined. He was forced to grow up fast, and thrived in this climate, but is still met with more criticisms than compliments.

This has turned him into a rather angsty young man. One who thinks the powers in control of the world are flawed and inefficient, and believes he is entitled for more power and autonomy… while simultaneously not being as wise as he thinks he is. In many ways, he is a typical and at least somewhat relatable teenager. He does not want to abide by the rules, wants to do his own things, be his own person, and is desperate for companionship beyond the brotherly bond he shared with Obi-Wan. He wants people to say he did things well, rather than place high expectations onto him. He wants to act upon the desires his body is telling him to pursue. He wants the freedom to do what he wants to do. And… he just wants to be accepted.

Every time I think about Anakin’s character in this movie, and the sequel, I think he actually gets better and more understandable with age. He is not meant to be a hero. He is a teenage character written in the wake of a decade defined by teenage angst, dissatisfaction with the world, and disenfranchisement as counter cultures cropped up. He is a teenager written just a few years after Columbine! He is not meant to be a hero, not meant to be a romantic, he is just some… 19-year-old dude with a pretty messed up childhood and underdeveloped social skills. He is not the archetypical hero like his son Luke eventually becomes, he is a messy and flawed person thrown into a screwy situation.

He, ultimately, feels like a person. Not necessarily someone evil or wrong, but someone who is also brash, impulsive, and in need of support, love, and someone who treats him… like the kid he is.

This is where Padmé comes in. She’s a bit older than Anakin, at 24-years-old, but she is a helluva lot younger than the people Anakin associates with, and is a girl who he has a (somewhat tacit) connection to. She is someone with at least the potential to help Anakin work out some of his issues, and openly cares for him as a person. She offers him companionship, awkward romance, and when he does bad things or says suspicious things, she does not chide him, but rather treat him like a friend.

Even after he indulges in his vengeful side, she comforts him. She wants to see the good in him, to help him change, and help him from straying away from the dark path he is walking along. As a senior diplomat, this makes sense for her character, as she is another weird kid who was thrown into politics when she was way, way too young. But while she had a group of people to aid her in the stresses of this life, Anakin… just doesn’t.

It’s not really her story as it were, but Padmé is actually given a surprising level of agency in this story, is presented as someone smart and confident, and who can fend for herself in battle. Sure, she is escorted around a bunch, wears fancy clothes, and doesn’t get to attend the final battle after she gets knocked out. But she’s a senator in an action movie, and I’d say that’s more than enough.

Looking at it as a whole… Attack of the Clones has a few awkward moments in it, and you could fixate on certain scenes, lines, or nebulous bits that don’t really work (Jango’s inclusion and death felt superfluous). However, I think it is a vastly better film than The Phantom Menace and a pretty great time. It’s a film with a solid storyline, an outstanding presentation, quality action, and endearing characters. It does rely a bit too much on the first film to fully land as a starting point for this series, but for a Star Wars movie, I think this offers about everything you could ask for.

Cassie’s Thoughts:

Arguably one of the most important films in the series, Attack of the Clones may not be the absolute best film and certainly has some flaws to it.

But ho-lee crap can we just appreciate the sheer extent that this movie let flourish?

The Clone Wars animated series being the prime example of this with its over 130 episodes of pure stuff. The myriad of games during the prime era of Star Wars.

The AT-TE, Super Battle Droids, LAATs and Republic dropships. This movie is responsible for most of the ‘best’ Star Wars content and that alone makes me appreciate this movie so much more. Also gosh dang were the Lego game levels on this movie hard as all crap…

The visuals for this movie are, like the previous one, utterly amazing but expand upon the last movie by simply having more places. Thanks to the plotline taking characters on two distinct adventures across the galaxy and less direct focus on two specific planets. Despite retreading much old ground we are still shown something unique and the areas manage to feel like new additions to the established areas. Naboo switching to a lake/fjord area reminiscent of northern Scotland and the flashy lights of Coruscant’s underbelly. The battle of Geonesis is a glorious visual fiesta of two huge armies fighting over the desert wasteland with stuff happening all over the screen. The shots of the CIS Coreships all lined up as Obi-Wan flies above. The stormy seas of Kamino. It’s all great stuff.

The music in this one is great, with deep thought clearly put into individual tracks. Across the Stars with its dissonant notes showcasing how the differences in two people in love bring them together. The arena theme that plays just before Order 66 serving as potential foreshadowing for the fate of the clones in the next movie. Zam the Assassin and the Chase of Coruscant starting slowly before ramping up with the action, the movie also frequently makes use of Phantom Menace’s soundtrack, which is just as good.

The plot of this movie is where I feel things start becoming lacking. Padme leaving Jar Jar in charge, the convenient timing of Anakin’s mother to die in his arms, Anakin’s awkward flirting, There’s lots of little scenes or decisions that just frustrate me through this movie. None of this is particularly major but it keeps this movie from feeling just that little bit better. The plot is otherwise great, providing lots of action and taking all the characters around the galaxy as the movie sets up the beginning of The Clone Wars and the sequel movie with dialogue and events.

Overall this movie is an 8/10 to me. I don’t really have the knowhow to explain but I thoroughly enjoy this movie and I extra-love what this movie has done for the franchise in establishing The Clone Wars era for so many other pieces of media to mine gold from.

Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)

As the Clone Wars near an end, the Sith Lord Darth Sidious steps out of the shadows, at which time Anakin succumbs to his emotions, becoming Darth Vader and putting his relationships with Obi-Wan and Padme at risk.

Natalie’s Thoughts:

And here we are, at the first of three conclusions, and one that I remember very fondly. I was just a little kid when the first two Star Wars movies came out, but this one? This one came out at a prime time, back when I was ten-years-old. I was hyped as hell to watch it, did chores to get money for the Hasbro toys based on it, and after the years-long hype train of the original Clone Wars, I had high expectations. …They were met absolutely. But, was little proto-Natalie wrong, and succumbing to a bad case of underdeveloped child brain, and this— Nah, this movie’s pretty sweet.

After three years of The Clone Wars, Episode III picks up right in the middle of things with a truly glorious sight. A battle featuring thousands of ships, all flying within orbit of Couressant, with stakes high and a simple goal. Infiltrate the main ship, rescue the ~~prime minister~~ ~~president~~ chancellor, and not die in the process. The action is intense, never letting up for more than a minute before greeting the viewer with something utterly dope. From space dog fighting to a swift but satisfying lightsaber duel to a dazzlingly detailed crash sequence.

The script makes sure the viewer understands how the dynamic between Anakin and Obi-Wan has changed, seeing them act less as a master and student and more as… equals. They have each other’s backs, work as a team, and their banter is a lot more casual. And its attempts at comedy, most of which center around the droids… all land rightside up, complimenting the action with a brief reprieve before the next set piece.

If the movie ended there, at the 24 minute mark… it would be weird, but also an absolute A+ from me. Instead, it goes on for about another 110 minutes and… it sure tries to do a lot in that time.

It needs to show Anakin growing dissatisfied with the Jedi enough to make his eventual turn to the dark side. It needs to show Anakin becoming a Sith, learning the power of the dark side, and obtaining the power he longed for ever since he failed to save his mother from death. It needs to introduce Palpatine as the emperor and the Sith lord responsible for… all of these darn star wars. It needs to follow Obi-Wan as he pursues the coolest villain in the prequels and eventually defeats him. It needs to show the fall of the Jedi order with the execution of the infamous order 66. And it needs to end in a bombastic final battle where these two brothers duke it out in a lavish set piece. Oh, and it needs to set up a bunch of events that happen in Episode IV.

That is… a lot of things for a movie to do, just in general. And while there is definitely a conscious effort to do this, I found the actual execution to be… a bit on the messy side, mostly due to the factor of time and condensed storytelling.

With The Phantom Menace, the story ultimately took place over, what, a week? Attack of the Clones was at least a week due to all the travel time, but I could see people thinking the story lasted possibly a month or two. But Revenge of the Sith… feels like it takes place over the span of four days. The visual language and use of a day/night cycle indicate that things are happening fast, and… that just does not quite work with the goals of this story.

Padmé announces her pregnancy to Anakin at the start of day one, only to give birth at the end of day four. Anakin fears that Padme is going to die at the end of day one. He learns that the dark side can allegedly save loved ones at the end of day two. And then learns that Palpatine is a Sith lord at the start of day three. But by the end of day three, he decides to go full renegade (as opposed to paragon) and joins Palpatine as his apprentice. Now, does Palpatine actually teach Anakin anything? …Uh, it’s implied, I guess. But either way, Anakin is off killing children (again) a few hours(?) later.

By the time Obi-Wan is finishing up his pretty straightforward assassination of General Grievous, his brother has already completely fallen to the dark side.

It gives way to a sense that something is… off about how this story functions, because when viewing the core elements, they should work. But it feels like there needed to be some time where Anakin and Palpatine went away together. A segment where Anakin was indoctrinated to the ways of the Dark Side, while the rest of the Jedi were busy cleaning up the remaining conflicts across the Galaxy. Wars take a long time to wrap up fully, especially when fighting is on so many fronts. So a few days, or a week, of training, before order 66, combined with mutual worry from Obi-Wan and Padmé could have given the story a greater sense of dread, some time for Anakin’s transformation to sink in. That way, his ranting about how the dark side makes him more powerful… would actually have some merit.

But once you ignore that substantial problem… this movie’s a freaking blast! It carries forth the same high ceiling for set pieces as the introduction, and delivers some truly spectacular action sequences, capturing a level of splendor, scale, and speed that is still impressive to this day. It is practically throbbing with iconic scenes, lines, and moments, immortalized in GIFs and memes. And there is a lot to dig into with the factions and overall characters of this story.

With the war near its end, the Republic is set to change forever, but rather than go back to the usual due course of democracy, it is cast aside in favor of what obviously becomes a fascist regime. The Jedi, fueled by war and the power of an army at their disposal, are arrogant, fixated on their principles, and taking matters into their own hands. All while being unable to see that their greatest ally is their true enemy. Palpatine, in addition to being a deliciously devious and charismatic antagonist, offers trickles of information that leave the viewer enraptured and curious about his true intentions, and where his power stems from. And the core of Anakin’s personality and shift toward the dark side is… wonderful.

Anakin is someone who came from nothing, a slave, but as a child, he seemed pretty happy. He was smart, got to tinker with a lot of machines, and had a caring mother who did everything she could to care for him. But… then he lost all of that. He was taken in by a man about a decade older than him, raised solely by him, and traveled the galaxy, seeing and learning much, but also being denied what he knew. He lacked the ability to express his emotions freely, lacked the caring embrace of his mother, and was put through rigorous training without a clear answer. Making a machine is something that you can objectively do properly, but training the spirit is another matter entirely.

Even though he was told again and again to suppress who he was… he couldn’t do so, and chose to be… human. He chose to love someone else, pursuing a romantic and affectionate relationship. He chose to visit his mother instead of forgetting about the woman who raised him and protected him when he was at his weakest. And after being thrust into a war, after being deemed a hero, responsible for saving so much and doing such good, he was denied the honor and respect he felt he deserved.

Anakin is someone who gave much to the Jedi order, and while he was given skills and experience… he was never truly given the peace of mind that they so crave. Because… he did not want it. He did not want to be someone cold, tempered, or unfeeling, and though he put on that guise of being impartial, he did not find it fitting or comforting. And when push came to shove, when he had to choose between allying with someone who would help him achieve what he wanted and someone who only offered him principles… he chose the man who promised freedom.

But Palpatine did not only promise him freedom. Instead… he promised power. Power beyond imagination… if he were to do one last job. If he indulged in his pent up rage and fury, if he put an end to both sides of this conflict— both the Jedi and the Trade Federation. The pesky vanguards of order and restraint that inhibited his growth or power, but most of all… his freedom. To love, to feel, to be himself… no matter how vulgar, raw, or ugly that self may be. To be a Jedi is to be a person of rigid temperance and measured emotions. But to be a Sith… is to be yourself, with no filter.

…Or at least that’s where my brain went at 1:30 in the morning.

Point is, this is a great movie, really fun to watch, fun to think about, and ends this part of the Star Wars saga on a riveting note.

Cassie’s Thoughts:

Revenge of the Sith… I’ve spent more time reading dialogue over this movie’s plot and character decisions than it has runtime.

Let’s start with that part, the movie’s plot is mostly fine and the problems I do have with it are nitpicky such as the kidnapping of the chancellor or rather how. The relegation of the CIS to a complete backseat and the injustice to the cast of their leadership in screen time. Something The Clone Wars resolves nicely. See? The prequels gave us such good content chances.

My main problem with this movie is the decisions of Anakin as a character and how quickly it seems to shift. Which itself is a huge can of worms that I do not have the ability to articulate nearly as well as many have. In isolation however the movie shows this as a very unusual shift, I just don’t think Anakin would be so suddenly obedient to the lightning goblin Palpatine has just shown himself to be. Or why does Dooku never even mention Sidious being the Sith.

I actually quite like the conflict of light vs. dark, senate vs. Jedi council that’s shown in this movie. The little things that have been analyzed and overanalyzed by people over the years. There’s so many layers, whether intentional or not and I think it’s very cool. It’s just that the switch from “He’s a sith lord and should be tried in the courts” to “Yes, I shall slay the innocent children for you” is a bit much for me.

The visuals are ever impressive, with the Battle of Coruscant ever clearly the best rendition of a large scale space battle in the entire series (fight me) and the ecumenopolis of Coruscant with things such as the great domed Senate building or the Iconic Jedi Temple. A low-point might be the somewhat bland Utapau, which in some scenes is just dirt and rock. Every window has absurd details behind it in a way that simply shows the big budgets these movies have.

Music Wise, this movie has some of the best in the entire series starting with the opening Battle of Coruscant track and its glorious war drums under the medley. The dark, sorrowful strings of Anakin’s Betrayal as Order 66 plays out and the re-use of Battle of the Fates alongside Battle of the Heroes as the two duels happen in the movie.

Speaking of which, all the action in this movie is hecking great. There is simply so much happening in the larger scale battles and the lightsaber duels are nicely choreographed and fun to watch with the fast paced action and the audiovisual goodness. Everybody can recognize a lightsaber sound. Gosh darn Venators vs. Providences man! The Battle of Coruscant just has so much happening I love it.

Overall, this movie’s a 9/10. I love all of the prequel trilogy and this one is the most realized example in film form.

Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977)

Luke Skywalker joins forces with a Jedi Knight, a cocky pilot, a wookiee and two droids to save the universe from the Empire’s world-destroying battle-station, while also attempting to rescue Princess Leia from the evil Darth Vader.

Natalie’s Thoughts:

Wow. Where do you even begin with a movie like this? What do you even say? Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, or just Star Wars, is one of the most influential films of all time. It was a smash hit in its heyday, punctuated by how it fit in with the American climate of the late 70s. It helped popularize sci-fi as a genre by presenting a space fantasy story that was more digestible to the everyman. It was a pioneer of special effects in about every way imaginable, which went on to shape the look of films. And it features a downright vibrant soundscape, with a booming score and sound effects that have the power to burrow into one’s mind for a lifetime.

For all of these contributions, the film has also become iconic in so, so many ways. It is an incredibly quotable film, to the point where even if you’ve never seen it, you probably will recognize a line every 5 minutes or so. Its imagery is striking and distinct even all these years later, with its unique grimey 70s aesthetic mingled with the standards of sci-fi film serials and Star Trek. And the story has been retold and readapted hundreds of times at this point via parody and homages. Hell, I remember— for some bloody reason— watching a parody where every character was a vegetable or other grocery store product back in elementary school. It was a six minute short… and it managed to hit most of the key scenes and beats of this movie!

However… for as iconic as it is, it is also easy to forget or overlook certain scenes and bits, abridging the story to only keep the most remarkable moments. This can make it refreshing to rewatch the film, as there are many scenes that one could just forget about. Such as when R2D2 wakes up in the Jawa droid prison, and meets C3PO. Or the entire trash compactor segment.

However, the movie also has a vibe that, coming off of the prequel trilogy, is very… subdued. A New Hope takes a long time introducing the viewer to its world, establishing Luke’s life on Tatooine, his relationship with the droids, his background as the son of a valiant warrior, before taking it all away from him and setting him off on his archetypal hero’s journey.

It takes almost half of the film’s runtime (based on the latest Blu-Ray releases of all films) before the characters take off into space with a full crew. While there are compelling things that happen leading up to this point, it also does not quite capture the expedience expected of more modern films, and makes the film a bit hard to gel with. It starts great, with bombast, spectacle, and suspense, but spends a bit too long easing people into this world.

This also spreads to the latter half of the film as well, as for as enjoyable the infiltration of the Death Star is, I do think there was a bit much in the way of fluff that could be cut. Everything is well executed, and you can see the passion and skill put into every second by all parties as the heroes wander through the labyrinthine metal corridors and narrowly avoid danger. (A bit too narrowly, according to people who’ve never used an assault rifle.) But the five minutes of the characters in garbage water makes the film feel much longer than it needs to be.

…Also, I don’t think the Death Star trench run is… weirdly long and a bit subdued, featuring a lot of cutaways from lavish flight scenes to the interiors of pilot cockpits, all while they… fly toward the weak spot. It is among the most iconic set pieces and a technical spectacle that primed the industry, and audiences, for what could be accomplished with a new decade of cinema. But I also think that a lot of adaptations of this— especially those found in video games— manage to be more visually engaging.

I criticize them… but most of these things are merely reflective of how films worked during the 70s, and while it is easy to doze off during some scenes, the next moment of intrigue or cool is probably just five minutes away. So, in that sense, I think it holds up… but I also think the film could benefit from some sort of official abridged version, wrapping things up in about 90 minutes. It would help people with attention deficits and children appreciate what this movie has to offer.

Hey, that nicely brings us to the most glaring thing about this release, the changes! The original trilogy of Star Wars infamously received CG alterations with their Special Editions released in 1997/2004. I’m not a purist with this sort of stuff, but I will say that, in the Blu-Ray release, this CG looks pretty glaring when they lean into it. It simply was not designed with higher resolutions in mind, I think that might be part of why it is so maligned by so many… and its use is often unnecessary or perplexing. Such as the way Mos Eisleys is turned into a more bustling trade hub, or how Stormtroopers are riding giant dinosaurs instead of… using speeders or something.

This all leads into a weird criticism I have with this film, and it’s that… it looks inconsistent. Sometimes, it looks crips, you can see the grime and dirt covering things, and the true power of its costuming, set design, and visual identity is on full display. Other times, it looks almost out of focus, or like the camera wasn’t working under the right settings. However, that is very much a technical limitation of the era, and there isn’t much that could be done without having some incredibly skilled people use sophisticated tools to add more to the existing film. …Which they might have done with the 4K releases, but I’m not sure. I don’t own a 4K display. …But the CG just looks bad most of the time, as CG is quicker to age than cellulose.

Okay, okay, but do I think the film, as itself, on its own, by my approximation of modern standards, is a good film? Yes. As a film, I think it is good, not great, and considering all of the production issues that this film went through, it is beyond impressive that it holds up as well nearly 50 years later. And as a piece of culture… it’s Star Wars. Enough said.

Cassie’s Thoughts:

The ‘true’ first Star Wars movie.

A New Hope is an outdated yet clear classic of a movie. The opening scene with the Devastator and Tantive IV followed by nearly every scene afterward is something deeply rooted in many generations of children from this movie and the resulting franchise.

This movie is just a bit too outdated for me however, the CGI standing out in a way that just slightly annoys me. The lightsabers especially are poorly handled when compared to the previous trilogies fast paced, bombastic action being instead displayed as slow and deliberate. Not to mention the CGI for personal blasters, various animals and starships being distinctly worse, although I must give credit that the modern version we are watching has done wonders for fixing many of these issues and it’s a far more pleasant watch in the remastered version than last time I tried to watch it over a decade ago now.

Beyond that, I can’t think of too many flaws regarding this movie, and over 45 years later whatever I could say is long past its sell by date.

I think this movie holds up well, even with its age showing it still manages to remain a visual spectacle showcasing a sci-fi universe fraught with a variety of life and places. Various parts of ‘old style sci-fi’ are everywhere from scanners, communicators, droids and fancy door controls that close when shot for some reason. Not to mention fancy energy swords and suspiciously WW2 looking blaster rifles. The ambience and ‘vibes’ of this movie are almost always on point in a way that really matters, meaning despite its potential age you are nonetheless immersed and engaged with events.

The character roster for this movie is deceptively vast, featuring a plethora of figures who are or will go on to become huge figures in other pieces of media from simple one scene appearances like Jabba the Hutt or Admiral Yularen. The inclusion of many characters like this are often quick-natured and once again fit the pacing of the movie in such a way that they don’t obnoxiously stick out and disrupt the movie, something modern media could stand to learn. I’m looking at you, Jurassic World: Dominion…

The main cast are obvious and easy to identify, all being sufficiently unique and realized characters in the movie where a watcher is bound to connect with at least one or two such that they’ll be drawn in and interested in the movie and it’s character development aplenty.

The soundtrack for this movie is quite simply iconic in such a way that mirrors or exceeds similar tracks like the Indiana Jones theme or He’s A Pirate from Pirates of the Caribbean. Everybody knows the Star Wars theme, even people who haven’t seen the movies. Almost every track of this movie is near instantly recognisable in a way that feels more like instinct, it’s all good and does so much for setting the mood and tone of this movie that I have to say it’s one of the soundtracks ever put to a film, probably. I haven’t seen that many films afterall..

Altogether, it’s a glorious movie. 10/10. Like how can you even flaw a movie like this? (Oh boy it’ll shure be embarrassing if Natalie’s review before mine flawed this movie a lot ahaha)

Glorious movie, everyone should see it at least once.

Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

After the rebels have been brutally overpowered by the Empire on their newly established base, Luke Skywalker takes advanced Jedi training with Master Yoda, while his friends are pursued by Darth Vader as part of his plan to capture Luke.

Natalie’s Thoughts:

Hey! It’s the one people say is the best Star Wars! …And I see why they might say that. A New Hope was a self contained hero’s journey, and for every one of its many strengths, the movie was a bit slow at points. While Empire Strikes Back aims to be a more… it’s a bit too trite to say that it is more mature or dark, so I’m going to say it’s grounded.

While the destruction of the Death Star was devastating for the Empire, they were still around, still controlled most of the galaxy, and had millions of troops spread across the galaxy. And for the destruction of the Death Star, they would only naturally launch a brutal counterattack on the rebels in order to snuff them out before they can grow or get any more hits in. Which is, ultimately, what this movie is about, as should be clear from the title. The Empire retaliates and does everything it can to destroy the rebellion by pursuing its most valuable members. Their hubris and pride have been shed, and their aggression is high, leading to a more dire escape for our heroes.

As such, the film is largely a last stand, a prolonged escape, a betrayal from a two-timing rogue, and ultimately ends with something akin to a defeat. With the cast down a friend, protagonist down an arm, but spirits are high as the central characters devise a plan to eke out victory.

While considered to be a bit controversial at the time of its original release, this format of a sequel has gone on to become so popular over the past… 43 years that I would argue that it has become the standard. At least for second parts of trilogies. The middle chapter is meant to represent a status quo shift, changing the type and tone of the story being told. The story and overall identity of the work gets to feel a bit more formed and together, as it is building off of a foundation, rather than aiming to be something new. And the story very much does not conclude, as it ends with a cliffhanger promising future adventurers for the protagonist.

Approaches like this can be… divisive, and I’m sure one could easily flip through films and games and novels to find various examples. I personally think it is a great way for a story to find its footing, try some bold new things, and so long as it aims to do enough different, the results are almost always interesting at the very least.

…Crap, I got distracted again by theory, when I should be talking about the movie. The Empire Strikes Back is a very good movie. It opens on an exciting note, trading away the tech and desert backdrops of the first movie for a snowy icescape, and goes all-in on its war aesthetic. The story does a great job of reintroducing the viewer to the main cast of characters, while featuring enough changes to indicate that time has passed. It shows how desperate the rebels are without overtly showing it. And the first big combat section is one that has captured the hearts and minds of people for decades, and been adapted into… several dozen video games for a very good reason.

The pacing is also heavily improved from the first movie, making better use of the language of film (cutting between different plot threads) as its story unfolds, which the film continues to use well throughout its runtime as the story is split in twain. One side follows Luke as he trains to become a Jedi with some swamp gremlin, the other follows Han and Leia as they try to lose the trail of the Empire. And the film flips between them every few minutes. Long enough for something cool and/or important to happen, but not long enough to ever feel they outstay their welcome.

…However, the film weirdly has the same problem as Revenge of the Sith, in that Jedi training takes as long as the writer wants it to take. The language of the film seems to imply that the story covers… four days. One where Luke gets abducted by the space yeti. One where the battle of Hoth happens, the Rebels flee, and Han escapes to Bespin. One where Han meets Vader, gets tortured, and thrown into jail. And a final day where Han is encased in carbonite and Luke fights Vader. Yet, in order for Luke to undergo any meaningful training to become a Jedi… he would probably need weeks to practice. Even if Luke is gifted, even if he has the basics, and even if Yoda somehow developed the best bootcamp, despite being full-on goblin mode from 20 years of being a hikikomori, I don’t buy that, chief.

Beyond that though, do I really have any issues with this movie? Well, there is a fair bit of 1997/2004 looking CG throughout it that contrasts the meticulous practical effect works. The latter of which looks like it was never designed for HD, and the former of which holds up nicely, stop motion frame rate and all. But aside from that, the movie’s great.

Empire is full of wonderful and immensely quotable lines. The character drama and relationships are given just enough time to shine. The action is more dazzling and more frequent than in the prior movie. The set design is a lot more vibrant and imaginative. The world ultimately feels more realized. And there is enough going on for it to be plenty palpable to a modern audience.

It’s probably just as influential and inspiring as the film that came before it, and I’m going to say that I like it more than A New Hope. But is it better than Return of the Jedi, the one commonly called ‘the worst one’ by teenage boys prior to 1999? Let’s find out!

Cassie’s Thoughts:

Ahhh, this movie’s good. I mean the first six all are really…

Once again this movie bears the hallmarks of an expected Star Wars film with outdated but good visuals. Sweeping shots of Bespin Cloud City, the asteroid field and Hoth all provide wonderful sets for the wars among the stars in this film. Imagination on display with their creations of vehicles, alien fauna and landscapes. The AT-AT is an iconic vessel of Imperial might. The scene where they first appear with deep thumping footsteps and the music cutting out for the tension is wonderful. The dozens of Star Destroyers all across the shots showcasing the strength of the Empire against the rebellion forces including the great Executor Super Star Destroyer.

However throughout this film, I just feel like it’s.. lacking. The previous movie simply had more in certain regards, with far more variety in terms of alien characters shown in A New Hope and the world seeming just that bit more imaginative. Compared to the prequel trilogy the movie also feels lacking in big ‘money shot’ scenes showcasing fantastical sci-fi landscapes and worlds no doubt in part to the more modern budgeting and technologies available. Regardless, the scope of Episode V seems slightly less to me than II, III, or IV. Not to mention the aforementioned issues with lightsabers just not quite up to the quality seen in the prequels. The Starships are however shown beautifully.

My other problem with this movie is the Millenium Falcon side of the story with all of their plot from escaping Hoth to arriving at Cloud City being one long sequence of them trying to escape the Empire with a faulty hyperdrive getting into antics along the way. Now the antics are great, with almost every scene being filled with action or tension suitable for the situation. However there’s only so many times I can see a similar scene of the characters arguing in the Millennium Falcon over how they are going to escape. It goes on just a little too long for me here, and feels strangely placed alongside the training with the Yoda sequence, which is amazingly good.

The soundtrack is as usual, amazing, even if this is one of two movies that I don’t legally own the soundtrack for. Despite the previous meaning I have not spent over half my life listening to this movie’s OST as background music, I can still recognize each and every track in this movie and they are all great. From the long winded and well-paced Battle of Hoth which is actually several tracks that mesh together one after the other to the legendary Imperial March. A track that extends beyond the franchise itself, I remember when the ‘coolest’ thing you could do was upload a stop-motion Lego stormtroopers video with the Imperial March backing it. That was many years ago…

Now it’s time for my hot-take, I don’t think this movie is that great. 7/10. It feels just that bit lower than its pre-Disney comrades, in part being in the middle of a trilogy rather than meant as a standalone.

Really though, saying this film is lower means nothing when all these films are so high as to be among the stars.

Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983)

After rescuing Han Solo from the palace of Jabba the Hutt, the rebels attempt to destroy the second Death Star, while Luke Skywalker struggles to make Darth Vader return from the dark side of the Force.

Natalie’s Thoughts:

Hey! It’s the worst Star Wars movie according to teenage boys in the early 90s!

Yeah, the fact that Return of the Jedi is considered the weakest part of the original trilogy is something that never really made sense to me. Well, unless you are someone who thinks puppets aren’t cool when they are, as a matter of fact, pretty dope.

The story directly follows up on where things left off with Empire, having Luke, Leia, Chewy, and the droids all infiltrate Jabba the Hutt’s sleazy murder nightclub. A setting as iconic and imaginative as any other in the series, immediately immersing the viewer back into this world with a lavish display of costuming and puppetry, before concluding with a swashbuckling battle sequence straight out of a pirate movie.

It’s a wonderful encapsulation of what Star Wars is and should be in my mind. Something with enough humor, levity, and eccentricity to be palpable and never too serious. As seen with the rogue’s gallery who Jabba keeps by him and forces to sleep on the dance floor, the weird sex puppet he has, and the bizarre song and dance number expanded in the version we watched. Something with slivers of darker and more somber subject matter, as seen with Chewy being sent to jail, Han’s sickness and blindness as he is freed from carbonite, and the rancor they feed Twi’lek dancers to. And an elaborate action sequence where multiple things are happening at once, in unison, as the heroes try to outwit and overcome a daunting foe, using their weapons against them. Its inclusion here is like an affirmation that this movie’s going to be more fun that the second one, and it’s over and done with a quarter through the movie.

Afterwards things simmer down a bit. Luke’s relationship with Yoda is given its conclusion, which is brief but sweet, setting up the conflict that drives the remainder of the movie, the final stand against the Empire! The destruction of the Death Star— didn’t we already destroy it… wait, what? There are two of them?

Wouldn’t that take decades to build, cost the GDP of several planets to manufacture, and be something so superfluous that they would not have started it until the first one was destroyed? Meaning it must have been made in five years? Well, I suppose that if you want to cap off your trilogy, you need something as big and impressive as the major threat from the first movie, and a bigger Death Star is just that!

However, rather than featuring a reprisal of the infiltration from Episode IV, the latter half of the movie is spent in the Forest Moon of Endor, which I have mixed feelings about. The nature on Earth is something that evolved over millions of years, and while I can fully understand why plants might grow green leaves in an Earth-like environment… this whole place is just shot in the woods. Because it was.

Sure, you could say the same about Tatooine, which is just the American Southwest but with a more diverse collection of monsters and bluer milk. But on the moon of Endor… there’s just the Ewoks. Now, I love the Ewoks. They are giant Viet Cong teddy bear people who eat human flesh as a delicacy! But they are among the least alien seeming aliens in Star Wars, as they would feel right at place in any fantasy story with magical woods.

On the other hand, Endor is a gorgeous setting, filled with fantastical natural imagery with the giant redwood trees that reach up into the sky. The speeder sequences are a downright amazing feat for 1983 filmmaking. And there is something both heartwarming and hilarious seeing a bunch of teddy bears defeat the greatest military force in the galaxy using nothing but rocks, rope, spears, and some hijacked machinery. It’s like Vietnam, but for kids! And without any poop traps!

Some might consider the Ewok village divergence to be a bit… superfluous, but I consider it to be a necessary means of recruiting allies and affirming the righteousness of our heroes. Because nothing says ‘we’re the good guys’ like getting a bunch of fluff balls on your side! Also, it can be seen as a course correction to the less well received darker tone of Empire, interjecting a bit more magic and playfulness into Star Wars. It’s something that could be seen as intrusive… but nothing about C-3PO giving the cliffnotes of Star Wars, complete with sound effects, strikes me as anything other than genuine.

But if that is not one’s cup of tea, there’s always the assault on the Death Star 2.0, which I consider to be a dramatically more intense and enjoyable space battle sequence than the one seen in Episode IV. The characters get to do more, helped by the infusion of additional CG work to build upon existing effects. There is a far greater variety of ships engaged in more… engaging warfare than going down a narrow tube. For as brilliant as the design of the Death Star trenches were, there is simply more visual variety here, along with the coolest mastermind domain ever. Seriously, there’s a reason why they just STOLE this room in Muv-Luv Alternative.

And there’s Luke’s encounter with the Emperor, who just oozes with charisma and power despite being a derelict 88-year-old man. His lines are some of the most iconic and quotable in the entire series, and just watching him poke and prod Luke, tempting him as he worries if everything he fought for was in vain… it’s beautiful. He truly does seem like the epitome of evil, and that’s what makes it so great seeing him be betrayed at the very end, suffering the most definitive inarguable death in the entire history of Star Wars, never to return!

Taken as a whole… I don’t think there’s anything I dislike about this film. Well, aside from some pretty dated 1997/2004 CG and less dated green screen. There aren’t time shenanigans, any significant lulls, and the movie wraps up the entire hexology nicely with a bow. The version we watched even gave a nice look at all the major civilizations seen throughout this saga as one final send off. The character relationships reach a satisfying end, everybody gets a chance to shine, and… I think there is a good argument that this is the high point of the series.

…Huh. I was not expecting that conclusion.

Here’s hoping that the next trilogy can live up to what came before and— NOPE! I can’t say that with a straight face.

Cassie’s Thoughts:

When I first heard that the highest grossing media franchise was Pokémon and not Star Wars, I was shocked and this movie is why. It is objectively the best Star Wars movie, with every inch of it’s film reel a magical experience. It has and will continue to charm generations of childrens and adults by transporting them to a a dystopian future sci-fi universe of war that manages to remain distinctly unique and full of wonder.

This movie is 40 years old and frankly does not show its age nearly as much as it should, partially thanks to the later release we watched with CGI enhancing. The visual spectacle on display as giant fleets clash above Endor, high-paced speeder chases through forests of great trees, it’s all brilliant in a way that’s nearly timeless.

I’m fairly bad when it comes to analyzing plots or acting, but the whole of it is something that never leaves the viewer bored (aside from the early ewok scenes being slower paced) and this movie can suck you in and make you lose track of time. It’s brilliant with action starting off with a slow build up into the battle at the Sarlacc pit, the deliberate nature of the Rancor scene. The three-way nature of the final battle between the Lightsaber Duels of Luke/Vader, battle over Endor and on the ground over the shield bunker. The sheer amount simply going on would seem overwhelming on paper, but results in a wonderful experience of non-stop continuous action that just keeps delivering in ways that tick all the dopamine releases.

This all culminates in a (for our release anyway) grand celebration that not only brings the movie to a fantastic end but brings the entire series of all 6 movies back together by showing each major planet from the series all celebrating with fireworks displays for a wonderful crescendo of triumph. A truly great way to end the saga of Star Wars movies once and for al- uh oh…

The soundtrack is iconic, all the music instantly recognisable, contributes significantly to the tone and atmosphere of each scene and makes it so much more memorable for it. You really gotta hand it to John Williams for the constant good work on these movies, 6 movies and each soundtrack is distinct enough to stand by itself whilst also fitting amongst the rest.

This movie is a 10/10. Truly one of the movies of all time, standing 40 years strong and proud.

Everything great with the Original Trilogy, this movie is. Watch it you should.

Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens (2015)

As Kylo Ren and the sinister First Order rise from the ashes of the Empire, Luke Skywalker is missing when the galaxy needs him most. It’s up to Rey, a desert scavenger, and Finn, a defecting stormtrooper, to join forces with Han Solo and Chewbacca in a desperate search for the one hope of restoring peace to the galaxy.

Natalie’s Thoughts:

Before we begin, I want to say that I have never actually seen this movie, or any of the sequel trilogy, before watching them with Cassie. I have watched plenty of discourse about them, but I didn’t recall much about them, and didn’t know the specifics before sitting down to watch them with my friend.

So, thoughts on this movie! It’s the worst Star Wars movie so far, by far!

After Episode VI, writers and creators spent 30 years building upon this foundation, advancing the characters, changing the world, and forging something that was generally well received and regarded. It definitely wasn’t perfect, but at least it laid down a good foundation for where the series could go from here. It was a blueprint that could be followed and deviated from. But rather than build upon this… the creative team just looked at the original trilogy… and did that again.

If I had to levy a single criticism toward The Force Awakens is that it lacks vision. It does not want to advance the world, introduce a new conflict or a new dynamic. It is a film that retreats from what was established in the prequel trilogy, hunkers back into what worked in the 70s and 80s, and throws various iconic elements into… contemporary action movie pablum.

The film is about a totalitarian regime that wishes to rule the galaxy with an iron fist, indiscriminately kills their enemies, and is searching for a droid with valuable data. The droid falls into the possession of a plucky young desert dweller with a knack for machines, and after a run in with the fascist antagonistic force, ventures into the stars on board the Millennium Falcon. With the aid of the smuggler Han Solo, the hero joins up with space ANTIFA to launch an attack on a military base with a weapon capable of destroying planets, which they are able to destroy by exploiting a fairly obvious weakness. A weakness that, after being targeted by the ANTIFA military, results in the base blowing up in a glorious fashion.

Also, the film’s climactic conclusion, which features a red versus blue lightsaber duel in a visually compelling, primarily blue, location, and ends with one party becoming severely injured. And after this encounter, the protagonist seeks out the aid of a master hermit who lives on an isolated planet.

That… that is just Episode IV with some bits of Episode V thrown in. And while one might claim that makes it original… it really doesn’t. You could easily consolidate the entire story of the original trilogy into a singular movie if you wanted to and… this movie at least tries to do that. And not in a way that, when you really think about it, there are a lot of familiar elements. No. The comparisons here are deliberate, they are intentional, and you can tell that, creatively, the story lacked many aspirations greater than doing Star Wars again… while completely dismissing the prequels, because it was en vogue to hate them circa 2015.

The world of The Force Awakens is one set 30 years after the original trilogy, but in those 30 years, nothing has changed. The new antagonist force, The First Order, is just The Empire repackaged and with younger leadership after all the old ones died. They have the same uniforms, same goals, and if not for one baffling Nazi prep rally, I would assume they were just a rebranded branch of The Empire. The First Order seemingly controls everything, the story so completely uninterested in explaining what happened regarding them the past 30 years, and their power… undermines the victory of Episode VI.

The conclusion of Episode VI depicted the initial fall of the Empire. It was still around, and democracy was in shambles, but in the past 30 years, democracy was both reestablished… and destroyed. All hope, all progress, was undone, because to people, to decision makers, Star Wars is all about freedom fighters vs. cartoon fascists, and should not be anything more. It is a level of uncreativity that truly has zero place in any creative industry, and this attitude, mandated from the top, goes to make this entire film deeply underwhelming.

Nothing is bold, nothing is new, and in the pursuit to fill characters into holes, into remixing archetypes… they managed to deprive most characters of character. Rey, the new protagonist, is a no-nonsense action girl with abandonment issues, is reluctant toward certain things, but is also a prodigy who fends off a trained space samurai despite having only picked up a laser katana… a few hours ago? Though, I guess she does have high midi-chlorians. So it wasn’t bad writing. It was just foreshadowing for worse writing. She doesn’t feel like a person with wants, with friends, or with a life more complicated than scrounging for parts, selling them for good, and waiting for her parents.

Luke had friends, he had a job, he was seen as being good with machines, he is a good pilot and driver because he had practice, he wants to leave the farm, and has wanderlust. With Rey… it feels like they viewed Luke’s traits as just traits, and remixed them without actually thinking about her as a person. As a result… she barely feels like one.

The same is true for the co-protagonist, Finn. He is a former Stormtrooper who has the courage and stupidity to defy The NuEmpire, and spends the movie flip-flopping between wanting to join ANTIFA and wanting to go off the grid. I don’t dislike this uncertainty, as it is realistic of how someone like him would be after escaping the life of a fascist foot soldier. But that just makes his later actions all the weirder. He’s like a puppy who imprints on Rey and decides to risk everything to save her, using his affection for her and his hatred of The NuEmpire to drive his pivot into protagonism. That’s how his character acts… but his progression, his shift from someone uncertain to a bold hero, simply happens too fast and without enough justification.

I could go on and on about things that are just frustrating about this movie. The fact that it goes back to Dollar General Tatooine and brings back the Millennium Falcon, which should be in some dude’s garage at this point, but just so happens to be on a desert planet. The character regression of Han Solo to return to a more iconic form. The shift from Leia from an active action girl who shot guns and dished out commands to a military grandma. Because why should she be in politics when she can be a commander again? The fact that Luke’s blue lightsaber was somehow recovered from Bespin when… no. Something that drops to the surface of a gas giant cannot and should not survive.

Oh, and don’t get me started on how bullshit everything about The Super Genocide Star is… YOU CANNOT STORE A STAR INSIDE A PLANET!!! WHO NEEDS TO BLOW UP FOUR PLANETS AT ONCE?! HOW DID THEY EVEN BUILD THAT THING IN 30 YEARS?!

I wish that I could at least compliment this film for being a visual spectacle, and… it kind of is, but something about the visual depictions of things just felt… off to me. I would ask why… but then I saw that there were well over 100 digital artists on this production.

While I highly appreciate the work of visual artists, a lot of corporations think you can shove something through production by putting more and more people onto it. But when you do that, you risk the project being marred by an inconsistent visual identity. And… I think that applies to The Force Awakens. I am not opposed to Star Wars playing around with different visual directions and aesthetics.

If I was, I would either be a prequel puritan or an oldie worshiper. But this… just does not look consistent. The lighting, the speed of what should be bulky ships, the way things are either bathed in colors or kept more muted, and the particular balance of practical and CG effects… just strikes me as messy. I know Revenge of the Sith is a worse looking movie on a technical level… but it was more consistent than this.

Looking back on it… I think people were too kind and too forgiving on The Force Awakens. Too enthralled by the potential it represented, while being unable to recognize how rocky its foundation truly is. It lacks ideas, its characters are thin archetypes, and the most fun I had with them was making fun of Renegade Edgeboy Benjamin Solo for being 13-years-old. (I didn’t talk about him, because he’s a load of nothing.) But the worst part is that I KNOW it will only get worse. …But maybe Episode VIII will be an improvement? Maybe.

Cassie’s Thoughts:

This movie is awful.

We should start first with what this movie represents, as it stands at the crux of a new era in Star Wars, colloquially “Disney Star Wars.” Disney, upon acquisition, decided to drastically change the Star Wars lore or its ‘canon’ to bulldoze the way for their upcoming movie content. Making substantial amounts of work contained within the old “Extended Universe” feel lesser and upsetting their fans, including myself, to which I am unable to be unbiased in my thoughts toward this. This move was the worst thing ever to happen to Star Wars and I hate how much of my childhood enjoyments have been belittled or ‘reduced’ by this, fading into obscurity when faced with what feels like the inferior Disney Canon and I’m not the only one.

The true Star Wars is the unending Disney Canon vs. Extended Universe wars that last to this day.

With that rant out the way, let’s address the movie. Oh boy…

This movie is a hugely budgeted film, green paper bills spread over all of it yet unable to conceal the ugly truth. The Force Awakens misses its mark like a Stormtrooper, drifting between a middling feeling to outright not feeling like a proper Star Wars film at all. Perhaps due to a lack of a proper vision, a misguided one, or lack of understanding of the prior material this film simply does not live up to the pedigree.

The characters. Wasn’t part of Han Solo’s character arc being that he starts off as a scoundrel and smuggler and changes into a bonafide Hero fighting for what’s right? The man whom the Millennium Falcon is an inseparable treasure, an extension of himself and Episode VI takes note of this by having Solo seem reluctant to hand it off for the battle against the Death Star II. Well Episode VII throws all that in the dumpster by having Han once again be a smuggling dastard of a man out for himself while also having lost the Falcon. Somehow.

Not to mention that Luke Skywalker is completely ABSENT from this movie, with the entire plot revolving around finding a map leading to his new hermit hole. Because apparently the greatest hero of the rebellion who fought the damn Empire, Palpatine, and godknowswhatelse to free his Father from the Dark Side and the galaxy from literal devastation couldn’t handle Teenage angst in Kylo Ren. Gosh it’s so ridiculous.

One of the main characters (Poe) is after the map, gets captured and rescued by a clear second protagonist in Finn only to die a fake-out death leaving his mission to the latter. While it’s never expanded on HOW he just reappears, it’s such a lackluster reveal with no build-up or even explanation. This isn’t even the worst plot hole as the map itself is revealed to be only a fragment, sparking a need to search for the rest to rebuild the map but this is POINTLESS. They already have the entire thing not even halfway into the movie but R2-D2 simply won’t turn on and give it to them for some stupid reason. Why even have the map be a fragment like this when you are story-wise making zero use of this as opposed to having the characters just find the entire thing.

Grief, what even is the First Order?

The phrase ‘Reinventing the wheel’ exists, and this is exactly it. The Galactic Empire was a great, highly loved antagonal faction in Star Wars shown to have a myriad of technological wonders and more than a match for even the very late Rebellion. There’s no denying the cool factor and while I don’t have access to sales charts, I’m sure Star Wars toys of The Empire still sold very well up to the modern day. The intrinsically linked Lego Star Wars IP was still producing sets and doing well for themselves. Capable of building huge 120 and 160 kilometer diameter battlestations, they were a hugely powerful force even when that power seemed implausible even by the show’s intended canon. With the timeframes of the DS-II being simply impossible when compared to the lengthy build period and cost of it’s smaller predecessor.

So what do you mean the First Order built something over 400 KM bigger?!

I’M SORRY WHAT, HOW?

Let me get this straight, the First Order is an ‘Imperial Remnant’, something that only existed by hiding in the shadows from the Alliance-wait no… Resistance now after they defeated the Empire to build the New Republic. A huge in-universe detail this movie mentions twice in passing and no more btw. So how did they afford this?

The first Death Star took over 20 years and a literal trillion credits to build, needing a coordinated funding of multiple financial powerhouses. Not to mention taking advantage of extreme slavery in the Geonesians, who canonically die en masse if they lack work, making the best labor force available. The First Order has literally none of these things, and we are to believe that they have not only fashioned themselves as an elite force superior to The Empire of old but also produced a weapon greater than ‘Tarkin’s Folly’ itself. Bullshit.

It’s amazing how unnecessary any of this is as well. We didn’t need or want to replace the Empire. We didn’t need an excuse to give them fancy new helmets, vehicles or anything. I reckon most of what this movie has produced would make more sense if the First Order was framed as an modernized Empire, rejuvenated to more readily fight the rebellion by a leader taking the now empty Imperial throne. Gosh, we even have precedents with the Phase 1, Phase 2 Clones and the Stormtroopers to show exactly how this could work. The Empire could’ve remained the Empire with all this, and done it just as well. Did you know that the Devastator, the Star Destroyer shown in Episode IV is different to the ones in the latter two? Imperial I and Imperial II ISD’s baby, there was an upgraded class!

Speaking of upgrades, Rey sure is one. Star Wars is a roguelike dungeon game and Rey clearly is the latter runs where you start fully upgraded because my gosh she basically was born a Jedi Master.

She can use the force in ways Luke or Anakin could only dream of at their stage of training, including Jedi Mind tricks and force-grabbing objects. She’s somehow a competent lightsaber duelist able to take down a Sith trained warrior, Rey doesn’t ever get the slightest hint of training in this movie and she beats him while flailing that plasma-sword like it’s a stick in a playground. I really don’t like Rey, in this one movie they have completely undermined the efforts of previous protagonists, the entire value of Episode V’s training arc and the fact that Anakin is canonically the chosen one yet unable to compare to this newborn fawn of a force-user.

Last, but strangely the opposite of least. The visuals & audios.

The movie looks good, it has a big budget and they spent it.

However the creative intent behind this movie ranges from ‘trying’ to ‘they tried’, with the absolutely disgraceful sin of going to the effort of making a new home planet that is not Tatooine and allowing us to finally escape the desert. Only to goddamn bloody make it Tatooine again. Jakku is the most unimaginative planet in history and it actively enrages me for existing. Why? Why? I get that both protagonists had ties to Tatooine and that the cast to keep returning to it, but it had long gotten old in those 6 movies and The Force Awakens had the sheer audacity to make a new planet that’s identical in every way to Tatooine besides lacking that nostalgic luster that this movie chases at every other turn. It’s so frustrating and while this is the most egregious example, this applies to the other sets two.

If this was set on Earth, outside the Star Wars universe, it would be less of a problem but the creative intent behind settings was simply not imaginative in this movie. With every planet being either desert, forest or snow in the most generic ways possible. The Resistance contact is in a jungle temple, the Resistance base is a Yavin IV-esq jungle temple, Starkiller base is modern/sci-fi building complexes in a jungle. At least the original trilogy brought a feeling of ‘alien’ to its Endor by having these great and impressive Redwood trunks, huge Ewok tree houses and overbearing foliage. Without even starting on the crazy stuff in Felucia or the powerful shots of Kamino’s cities over an endless rough ocean.

The atmosphere in this movie is simply not present, I do not feel ‘brought in’ or immersed into any of the scenes outside a bare few. This feels partly to blame at the music, which is timid in its volume and derivative of previous trilogies at best. Unironically the best use of music in this movie is the use of the Force theme in a few key scenes, such as Luke Skywalker’s appearance just before the credits roll. It is not a negative to use resources you have access to, and Force Awakens had one of the best soundtrack collections put to film at hand. It is criminal how little it’s used and how quiet the music in the film actually is.

This film is a -5/10. It is genuinely painful for me to watch and realize what potential was truly lost in 2015 when this film aired all those years ago.

In the words of Anakin, “I hate you!”

Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi (2017)

Having taken her first steps into the Jedi world, Rey joins Luke Skywalker on an adventure with Leia, Finn, and Poe that unlocks mysteries of the Force and secrets of the past.

Natalie’s Thoughts:

Oh gosh was this movie subjected to all manner of controversy when it came out. And it’s not too hard to see why now that I’m finally sitting down to watch it.

The story picks up right after Episode VII, but is largely told within two parts, so I’ll split up my synopsis accordingly. The Resistance, though emboldened by their victory in destroying the Ultra Super Neo Death Star, are immediately targeted by the First Order, and must evacuate their base. This seems like a fair plan, just get into space and enter lightspeed, but hotheaded ace pilot Poe decided to launch an attack on the enemy, and though he is successful in his objective, the fleet suffers heavy losses.

Right from the outset, the movie puts the Resistance on the run, with few ships to their name, and with the loose plan of going into hiding before their next big attack. Good strategy, but not the most engaging movie, so the First Order is able to track the Resistance’s lead ship, but… cannot catch it or destroy it because of… reasons. I’ll let Cassie explain the problems with this plot, as this is basically a boat movie.

Leia gets killed but defies the laws of… space to merely become unconscious. The Resistance has no hope, so Finn and a ship mechanic, Rose, decide to embark on a harebrained scheme to sabotage the lead ship of the First Order, allowing the Resistance to escape. To do so, they need to recruit a hacker who frequents an extravagant casino. A move that leads to some utterly gorgeous scenery, set dressing, and a golden-colored posh paradise. It is simultaneously the most Star Wars thing, and something we have never seen before in Star Wars.

Finn and Rose get close to achieving their goals, but get thrown in jail for a… parking violation? Okay, I guess that works. Where they meet a stuttering weirdo named DJ, a hacker whose allegiances can easily be swayed if the price is right. With his help, they escape from the casino by letting loose a bunch of cat horses in a sequence that should be amazing… if not for how the visual identity of this film is still a bit… messy. When it comes to the small-scale, the film is capable of creating some truly gorgeous scenes and snippets of a wider world. But when it comes to doing something bigger or grander, like a chase sequence through four distinct locations, it simply doesn’t come together.

With a hacker in tow, the group aims to infiltrate the lead ship of the First Order. Things go well, they reach the flux capacitor, but they get captured, the hacker double crosses them, leaving Finn and Rose to be executed. But at the last moment, they are saved when the temporary commander of the resistance decides to shoot the carrier ship into the First Order’s armada at lightspeed. I did not know that was something possible in Star Wars… but I like it. It’s a cool idea and makes a lot of sense when you realize that a pebble going at the speed of light would be able to rip through anything.

This should have killed Finn and Rose, but they survived, because they are protagonists, and partake in a visually spectacular battle sequence that… is kind of nonsense. With new mascot BB-8 hacking into an AT-ST, fire picking up everywhere, and the heroes just so happening to find the last shuttle off of the destroyed enemy ship. Now ain’t that something!

With the enemy severely wounded, this gives the Resistance the luxury to hold out in an old rebel base for the final conflict, but before getting to that, we have Rey’s story!

Episode VII ended with Rey meeting Luke on a mountainous island, giving the creative team of Episode VIII carte blanche to do whatever they wanted with him as a character. Why was he there? How did he change? Anything could’ve happened. And director/writer Rian Johnson went with a rather bold approach. Turning this archetypical hero into a bitter disillusioned old man who tried to restore the Jedi order, failed, and became a hermit so dismissive he doesn’t even care about his old lightsaber. He rejects Rey, only begrudgingly offers her a brief lesson, and after Rey starts to mentally talk to Kylo Ren via a Force connection, he explains why he is so disillusioned.

Luke tried to be a Jedi Master, referencing the sacred texts, teaching about dozen students, but when it came to tutoring Ben Solo (Kylo Ren) he saw a darkness within him and pulled out his lightsaber. The actual mechanics of this event are a bit… awkward, as if they had to change them around at the last minute, but the gist is that Luke pushed Kylo further into the dark side and lost all his students then and there.

Upon hearing all this, Rey thinks she can save Kylo from the dark side, as this was all due to a misunderstanding, and mental grooming from some burn victim named Snoke. Luke tries to stop her, but Rey leaves anyway. Disgruntled and frustrated, Luke decides to finally end this whole cycle of the Jedi by destroying the last remaining sacred texts, hesitates, and then Yoda summons lightning to destroy them anyway.

Yoda, appearing as a puppet-like CG ghost, informs Luke that he should learn from his failure rather than hide away, and urges him to not merely repeat the past, but pave a new path and pursue something different. A fairly transparent admission of the creators’ goal with this film, but with so much crap going on, it’s kind of necessary.

Rey then arrives on the lead ship with Kylo Ren, where she is brought before Snoke, who… I do not understand. In Episode VII, he was presented as a giant who only appeared in a hologram. Someone mighty and inhuman, whose power transcended space! In the films, he was never given any background, no explanation as to how he came into power, or what his deal is. He is just some grandpa who sits in his lazy boy chair, dressed in a golden bathrobe, surrounded by guards who pose like statues whenever he’s not threatened. He is not cool. He completely lacks the foreboding presence of Palpatine. He is easy-to-frustrate, demanding, and actively wants people to suffer. He lacks the grace and poise of both Darth Vader and Palpatine, replacing them with, well, nothing. Snoke is a dull villain without even a good design to carry him.

Anyway, after presenting Rey before him and being a gross dude, Kylo kills Snoke by… side-stabbing him, and we get the resident big lightsaber fight scene. Which, in all fairness, is really cool. Everything is slowly burning. The opponents all have their own unique melee weapons that counter and interact with lightsabers in unique ways. And there is some surprising synergy between Kylo and Rey which… the film is very insistent about.

Kylo and Rey have known each other for, in story terms, less than a week. They might have a mental link, but most of what that really means is implied, and I don’t think either really knows much about the other as a person. They have narrative reasons to go after each other, as Rey thinks Kylo can be a powerful ally and Kylo was ordered to capture Rey. But I don’t see there being much chemistry between them as characters. Rey is more interested in getting surrogate parents than a relationship. While Kylo is just a broken person driven by revenge and hatred, yet too scared to actually confront who he actually is. He could use someone to help deprogram him from being a Space Nazi… but he does not want to be deprogrammed.

Regardless, Kylo tries to get Rey to join him, Rey refuses, they get knocked out in an explosion caused by the Rebellion, and the story veers into its last stand. The heroes are holed up in an old rebel bunker, with only a few dozen troops and old derelict equipment. The ensuing fight is… quite good. The white salt-coated ground, metal ships, and gorgeous clouds of red dust make for a striking visual. The speed and shaky equipment of the Resistance clashes well with the slow, trodding, yet powerful machines of the First Order. And while the machines the Resistance uses… kind of suck, that’s kind of the point. They are supposed to be old junkers that are literally falling apart and be the worst ships in Star Wars. Because the heroes have nothing left. Also, the Millenium Falcon is there and takes on TIE Fighters in a crystal cavern a la Episode VI.

The Resistance gets creamed. Finn tries to sacrifice himself and become a real hero, but Rose stops him. And the First Order manages to successfully corner the Resistance, when they are given a final saving grace when Luke shows up to stand up to Kylo. They fight, it turns out that Luke was merely a Force projection, and the Resistance escapes to fight another day. While Luke Skywalker is left completely drained of all might after that… insane display of power, causing him to become one with the Force.

…That sure felt like describing a full season of television.

First off, I want to praise The Last Jedi for being considerably different than the comparatively dull The Force Awakens, and for making that very much its ethos. It is a film that wants to move beyond the past, wants to create a world where morality is more complex than just good guys and bad guys, and wants the binary of Jedi and Sith to fade away. It wants to be bold, transgressive, and go against what people assume. It wants to turn heroes into something more flawed, and paint villains as something both common and pathetic, as they often are. It even wants to tell a more grounded war story about a truly desperate group of people who ultimately… lose everything but a few dozen people and a ship.

It was clearly crafted as a transitory film that tries to set up Episode IX as being something distinctly unlike what Star Wars has been. Something that can cement the series’ transformation into something more mature, messy, and harrowing. The Force Awakens was a reprisal of the old, while The Last Jedi is discarding the old and paving the path for the new. …But then that plan was ruined by The Rise of Skywalker. Ugh.

However, despite recognizing what this film wants to be, and its efforts to be something different… I also think it is too stuffed with ideas and set pieces. It is not a very easy movie to summarize, and though I can tell it wants certain scenes and character moments to have weight, I was a bit lost as to what it wanted the greater purpose to be.

For example, there is a subplot about Poe wanting to take an aggressive stance against the Empire and not trusting the more passive and calm interim commander. Poe tries to take control and lead on his own terms, but the interim commander eventually takes over, and goes down with her vessel, using it to take down part of the enemy fleet. What does this subplot mean, and why is it here? That’s… a bit hard for me to figure out. Is it about the role of soldiers in the war, the importance of respecting command, the boldness of being truly willing to die for what one believes in, the importance of fighting smart over fighting hard? I, quite simply, do not know.

I respect its creative energy, its willingness to play with so many ideas and do so much in its runtime, but… this just doesn’t work for me. It is certainly more interesting than its predecessor, but for all its ideas and ideological boasting… I think it just does far too much for its own good.

Cassie’s Thoughts:

This is the first Disney Star Wars content I had actually watched, way back in cinemas and so I think the initial shock factor of it has long since passed when I watched it with Natnee-sama.

Nonetheless this movie has problems, and I’m starting off with the actual setting itself, as I just simply think it does not work. Once again this movie is echoing the original trilogy, either out of selling nostalgia or a lack of originality. However The Last Jedi hinges around the idea that the Alliance/Rebellion/Resistance (Seriously, who thought that we needed to rename the Rebel Alliance to Resistance? The original was such a goddamn cool name) is somehow dying off. The sparks of hope being shuttered out by the First Order and the Galaxy turning away from the freedom fighting bunch.

BUT WAIT THEY AREN’T!!

The last movie clearly establishes that the New Republic is completely reformed, with an entire system marking the new galactic capital. They had an entire chase sequence on Jakku through multitudes of destroyed Imperial Icons, Imperial Star Destroyers AT-ATs etc and a GODDAMN Executor Star Dreadnought! That was not appropriately scaled nor even remotely capable of atmospheric flight nor would either the land or the vessel itself be remotely that intact in such a crash… Anyway all this was HUGE symbolism. The Empire has been defeated, destroyed and crushed and the New Republic has risen in its place. Once again uniting the galaxy under the just and fair rule of democracy akin to the hallowed republic of old.

This part is important, the rebellion was successful. The last two movies in this franchise strongly establish this, making the Rebel Alliance an official government. Which, surprisingly, follows the Expanded Universe timeline fairly well. Gee like maybe they could’ve just turned that into movies… I followed the lines of Episode VII quite closely and I don’t remember anything addressing this de facto control of the galaxy outside the First Order blowing up the New Republic Galactic capital. The problem is that nuking the capital of a nation does not make it stop existing.

This movie hinges entirely on the idea that we believe the First Order has somehow managed to snuff the New Republic out of the entire galaxy and the Rebellion has NO support or military might. Which is just completely outrageous of an idea with the amount of time they had to establish themselves between Episode VI and VII. Remembering that the First Order is supposed to be something hidden in shadows and secrecy who supposedly don’t use a clone army, how on earth are they meant to compete with organized and established governments with militaries and navies? The idea that the Rebellion couldn’t muster any support, none whatsoever, is so hilariously out of place in a post-Empire galaxy that it is frankly disgraceful. That one ship alone could somehow match ‘the remains’ of the Resistance is wrong.

And the Supremacy itself, just what the heck?

This ship is just what? It’s length is almost that of an Executor Dreadnought whilst being 60 km wide.

Now most people probably aren’t big ship-nerds, but that’s the length of 38 consecutive Imperial I class Star Destroyers, 3.4 Executor Dreadnoughts or half the diameter of the first Death Star. I just don’t think that the Supremacy is placed well, it’s scale is too absurd even by this franchise standards once again referring to the logically small scale of the First Order. Both the Eclipse & Sovereign Super Star Destroyers of the EU-Empire had coaxial superweapons capable of extreme destruction and simply excessive numbers of armament despite being dramatically smaller. Whereas the Supremacy completely lacks any superweapon and has this weird battery of Turbolaser… howitzers? They fire these arching shots, somehow forgetting that space doesn’t have such gravity!

This movie also introduced weird lore like Fuel and Hyperspace Ramming?

The “Holdo Maneuver” as termed by the fanbase is something I don’t even think the Expanded Universe pulled off. And for good reason, as this move singlehandedly uproots the entire Original Trilogy with the two death stars. It is an ill-thought out action that should never have made it into the final cut in it’s current form, it completely removes the chance for the movie to feature a giant space-battle with X-wings, starships and explosions which is what people really want and enjoy in this series.. Not to mention the entire fuel thing or how such a huge ship can somehow keep pace with lighter, should-be faster vessels. The entire Hyperspace tracking device part is weird and would make so much more sense if there was a spy in the resistance who was broadcasting the location.

I’ve already mentioned that Luke Skywalker, an icon of the Light Side of the force is done dirty and this movie continues this as expected so instead I’ll actually praise this movie. I like the concepts on offer in this movie. The concept of two individual apprentices, one Sith and one Jedi both learning the ways of the Force at the same time is actually quite cool. Now the execution is perhaps a bit lacking, but each apprentice suffers a constant pull toward the other side and the meetings over the force give each character the chance to try to tempt the other into their side. This works surprisingly well as both are still quite new to the force and easily fall into conflict over the two sides as opposed to the original trilogy whereas Darth Vader is a very mature force-user and much less swayed so easily.

This, more or less peaks with a scene involving Snoke, Rey, and Kylo. Rey is subjected to generic force torture and Kylo Ren is ordered to slay her to complete his training, typical Sith stuff. Snoke narrates the scene, commenting on how Kylo grabs and handles his lightsaber while we are shown him subtly moving Rey’s lightsaber sitting by Snoke in order to slay him. This scene is simply cool, I love the manipulation of Snoke’s expectations and if the entire movie held this quality then perhaps the controversy around these movies simply wouldn’t be a thing. Instead we got the disgusting creature milking scene, which even as an 18-year-old left me unnerved and grossed out…

Admiral Holdo is an unnecessary character entirely to me. We already had Admiral Ackbar, a fan-favorite and a character present in this movie with an incredibly undeserved and background death. I still disagree with that part itself, but the Hyperspace Ram would’ve hit so much harder if Ackbar had been the one to sacrifice himself for the Alliance he had served for so long. All of Admiral Holdos scenes should’ve been rewritten with this guy in some form and they’d just hit so much harder with this known character.

The ending tones of this movie simply don’t resonate with me either, possibly because the setting of this movie doesn’t agree with me. The Resistance just so happen to have a base on a nearby planet, hold-out on fake Hoth and need to survive against fake AT-ATs from the First Order and take out a big laser gun threatening to take out their door, forgetting that orbital bombardment would do so much more damage. The ensuing fight consists of the most unimpressive speeder design yet conceived and the suspension of belief that the First Order wouldn’t annihilate these ground based targets in quick succession. Finn makes a kamikaze run at the laser as the last hope of destroying it, only to be stopped by Rose. An act making her my least favorite character of the entire film, it completely ruins the battle and denies a memorable moment of Finn.

Visually, this movie is better than the previous film with what feels like much more creativity on display here. As much as I dislike it, the last planetscape is very unique and definitely stands out among Star Wars sets for it. The entirety of the Casino-port section is an interesting blend of more usual Star Wars arid/desert settings with this upper class casino-getaway vibe. It lasts a decent length of time and the setting never feels overly bland. Definitely credit for what was achieved here and it is a stark improvement over the last movie.

The atmosphere in this movie, while still not comparable to the previous trilogies, is markedly better, with reams of various alien species on display when needed as well as the unique locations. However the music is still simply lacking, with the majority of it simply being too quiet to let itself be known properly. I can’t think of or remember a single track from either of these movies because I never feel like I get to properly hear them.

Overall, I’d rate this movie a 2/10. It’s still bad with plenty of things I’d like to rewrite or fix, but unlike the previous movie this one feels fixable. It has potential and gumph, it just needs better direction and refining out the bad.

Star Wars: Episode IX – The Rise of Skywalker (2019)

Finn and Poe Dameron lead the Resistance to put a stop to the First Order’s plans to form a new Empire, while Rey anticipates her confrontation with Kylo Ren.

Natalie’s Thoughts:

This movie is a piece of shit, I hate it, and it should not exist. This movie was a mistake. It is one of the worst conclusions of any series ever created. It has so many flaws that there is no conceivable way it could be salvaged. It is a spectacularly terrible waste of $400 million. It is a failure in nearly every conceivable way, and makes so many missteps that it should not warrant discussion. But I’m going to tear right into it because IT WILL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!!!

So, what is this movie even about? Well, it is about backtracking the status quo shift set up by Episode VIII. It is about a bunch of people rushing to course correct a billion dollar IP after it was met with a vocal minority of diehard fans. It is about a film that was originally set up under one vision, but was ultimately changed at the last minute. It is about hundreds of people clamoring and rushing to meet a rigid Christmas 2019 deadline, so quickly that they forgot to proofread the damn script.

The Rise of Skywalker picks up one year after The Last Jedi, and promptly digs into the nostalgic well by reviving Palpatine. A character who was definitively killed in Return of the Jedi, but, somehow, returned. He’s back, has recruited Kylo Ren as his new pawn, whispering into his ears, and has used the power of the Force to conjure… hundreds of familiar Star Destroyers. Each of which is equipped with a compact cannon capable of blowing up entire planets. But rather than launch this overpowered armada and destroy the entire galaxy, Palpatine instead decides to sit on his ceiling-supported medical bed as he waits for Rey to show up and kill him.

Why is he interested in Rey? Well, because Palpatine views her as The Last Jedi, and wants to see her die, ending this wretched cycle as the ultimate victor. But Rey is also his granddaughter and he wants to possess her, because Palpatine is The Sith and, presumably, has been possessing body after body for millennia. Or at least that’s what his dialogue strongly, borderline inarguably, implies.

“Kill me and my spirit will pass into you. As all the Sith live in me, you will be Empress, we will be one.”
Emperor Palpatine, Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

You could say that I’m just viewing this from a transformation fan’s perspective and that he means spirit in a more metaphysical way… but no, I don’t buy that. This film’s script is not good enough to warrant that interpretation. He was gonna possess her, and that would almost redeem this movie for me… but he didn’t.

Anyway, Rey, being the hero, chooses to defeat Palpatine through the power of determination and two lightsabers. (One of which was used to murder dozens/hundreds of children.) Rey dies in the process, Kylo Ren sacrifices himself to revive her, and Leia (who’s dead by the way) holds the door open for him to become a Force ghost. As this happens, the armada of Star Destroyers all get destroyed by a ramshackle legion of thousands of ships, and the galaxy is saved. Rey is then seen burying the lightsabers on Tatooine, in Luke’s long abandoned childhood home, and declares herself to be Rey Skywalker.

That might seem like I am abridging a lot, and I both am and am not. The core story of Rise of Skywalker is incredibly simple, but it still manages to clock in at over two hours and often feels incredibly rushed. How does the movie do that? I genuinely have no idea, because I was too baffled by how stupid and contrived this entire film is.

It constantly breaks established rules about how technology, The Force, and people work in Star Wars. The Millennium Falcon is seen hopping in and out of hyperspace at such speed you’d think it was some bold new technology, rather than some clunker that was considered old 30 bloody years ago. The Force is just straight up screenwriting magic, capable of doing anything that the writer thinks is a cool idea. Like summoning arcs of lightning that devastate fleets of ships. Or pulling down ships 100 meters away. Or stopping someone else from using a lightsaber. And the characters regularly engage in this fast-talking quippy and ‘realistic’ film dialogue that not only sounds unnatural, but sounds woefully inappropriate. It doesn’t fit the culture of this world, it doesn’t fit the characters who say it, and it doesn’t even fit the tone of this movie. Maybe it would work in that Solo movie, but… not here.

It utterly fails to give its locations a sense of place and meaning, hopping between so many so rapidly without establishing what these places are, or really doing anything interesting with them. Why is the first new location a brand new desert planet? Why is there a festival when the characters leave there a few minutes later? Why does the movie open with a scene that is woefully superfluous and takes place on a planet that is never even named? And why do these random assortment of worlds… just so happen to have various map pieces that lead to Palpatine’s location?

Oh! I forgot to mention that! Over half of this movie is just the characters bopping around looking for where Palpatine is located. Now, they know the planet he is on, but nobody in this freaking galaxy has a full map of it. Planets have names, vehicles can move faster than light, but apparently people don’t know where some planets are. In Episode II, this was explained because Palpatine removed a planet from local library records, and people still knew where it was. And I refuse to believe Palpatine also hid this world from the library records, because how would he plan that far in advance?

Though, I guess it might make some sense that nobody knows where the final boss area is, because it feels like it takes place in an absolute unreality cannot exist. It is a world of darkness, endless lightning storms, ominous natural (?) geography, and terrible lighting. So of course it would only be discoverable using scattered treasures that, when hooked up to ships, tell you where the next piece is. Or, a magical dagger that… No. I am not going to dignify that plot point with an explanation. It does not deserve my words!

The entire movie is so simple. It is about finding where the final boss of Star Wars is located, going there, and kicking him in the butt, killing him until he somehow comes back again in Episode XII! You could do anything with it. You just need to have an idea, stick with it, and develop it. Any half-decent writer should be able to crank out a rough outline in a damn weekend. I don’t like saying this, but I could have easily come up with something better than this shit, and I’ve never even read a screenplay before!

Characters are supposed to have concluding arcs, but are just left by the wayside, forgotten by the writers and producers who want to pursue things that are iconic. Whatever Finn’s arc was supposed to be is reduced to nothing. The writers had zero clue for what Poe should do, but attribute him as some sort of rebel leader because… who else can fill that role. Rose is given such a minor role… I’m surprised they even bothered including her. While Rey and Kylo… Okay, there is actually an interesting dynamic between Ben and Rey, and the story could have easily said something about the nature of the Jedi and the Sith. They could have destroyed these binaries by having the characters mutually choose neither side, and vowing to create something new together. But instead, it just doubles down on it, and disregards everything set up in Episode VIII.

Luke, who threw away his lightsaber when it was returned to him, now prevents Rey from destroying it. You might call that character development, but I call it pathetic, cowardly bullshit and a fear of challenging ideas. While Leia… okay, her role was clearly reduced because her actress died, and I will not put it against the film, as there was a finite limit to what they could do with her character. The film gets a pass on that.

However, there are so many bad decisions, so many worthless diversions, so many clumsy attempt to give characters depth that I feel like I am wasting my fucking time trying to recite what happened. The leads behind this movie… did not care. The people working on it tried, they fought, and struggled to eke some blood from this stone, and there are definitely good parts of this film. Some scenes manage to hit. Some shots are wonderful. You can tell the actors want to make their material work. You can see the effort the digital artists put into here, even if the sights often fail to feel sufficiently Star Wars, or are eye-searing. And there are some scant good ideas here. But no matter what components you plug into a fried motherboard, it cannot work, it will not clock. No matter how much you gussy up a turd, it’s still ain’t nothin’ but shit!

To the people who said that the prequel trilogy killed Star Wars, fuck you. This, this right here, is the death of Star Wars. It’s done, it’s cooked, it’s fucking over. This is a cinematic disaster! And no matter how many spin-offs and side series they staple onto it, I don’t see how the series could escape from this stink. Well, unless they just undo and retcon all of this garbage away. And if so… take the entire sequel trilogy along with it. Take us to an alternate timeline! Multiverse this shit and get outta here! Bring us back home!!! I wanna go hooooome!

In conclusion, this movie is terrible, and my favorite part was the credits.

Cassie’s Thoughts:

Somehow, this movie was made.

This movie has horrendous pacing, especially at the start with nothing but fast high intensity action scenes with no real sense of belonging or establishment. The backline and plot have been completely tossed out the movie with things happening for little to no explanation. Characters die pseudo-deaths, are given no ground to establish themselves, and seemingly teleport between locations at the writer’s will. The lore and canon is disrespected to a new level and a complete lack of understanding is present all round it.

Truly, this movie is the epitome of “Disney Star Wars” and its horrible reputation. This movie has completely failed on every level to even present itself as a Star Wars feature, with absolutely no atmosphere or tonal settings. A lack of backing music to help make the settings memorable, to make them as ‘places’ in the universe over scenes and often failing to even introduce or establish these places at all. There is a FOURTH Desert planet in this movie and it gets more screen time than most of them, yet feels like yet another place on that original Tatooine. The rest barely get a chance with nary a name dropped for them or so little screen time as to be inconsequential.

Visually, this movie should look good and outside of context it does. However to ignore the pedigree of this franchise and its huge $400 million budget, is to do it an injustice. By Star Wars standards this movie is creatively lacking and heading in every direction bar a good one. Rise of Skywalker does not feel remotely like a true Star Wars movie. It does not understand what made the previous movies work, what they did well or why. It can’t even manage to get the audioscape correctly with none of the iconic blaster sounds, lightsaber bzzaaummss, engine hums, or turbolaser noises.

I don’t even recognise the music in this film that isn’t directly from the original trilogy or heavily influenced by it. Just like the other sequel trilogy movies, music in this movie is just too quiet to even be properly heard through the cacophony of chaos that this movie has with, the only audible tracks being the iconic original trilogy tracks played whenever they wheel out something from the better trilogies. Like Palpatine, the Falcon, characters, or other callbacks.

Speaking of Palpatine. What the fuck the plot?

They never even address it, they CANNOT address it. It is grossly impossible for Palpatine to have survived this!

That station, the Death Star II was obliterated. Absolutely annihilated, everything exploded in a big bang!

Somehow, Palpatine returned from this. That is what Rise of Skywalker needs you to believe in order for this to work. The suspension of disbelief is being pushed to the maximum and past its breaking point. There is no mechanism in the universe that could keep the Emperor from surviving that fall let alone the subsequent detonation of it and everything related to this is total pish.

Revealing one of this movie’s major problems. A complete lack of providing context and background clues in it’s speeder bike-esq speed and complete rushed nature. Just like in the Expanded Universe canon, Palpatine’s return is by projecting his consciousness into a clone body via The Force. Something the Dark Empire comics put great care and attention into detailing and explanation of. However, Rise of Skywalker has no time for this. This movie spends not one second of its entire runtime trying to explain how or why things happen. Making it all seem all the more senseless & pointless then it was before. Seriously they took inspiration from the Expanded Universe yet also choose to run it through with a lightsaber. Such a two-faced movie. Just adapt the goddamned material you had, blaggards!

I really, really don’t like Rey.

Her character is nothing, just nothing. She does so little, yet remains such a powerful Force user that she rivals Starkiller in the infamous Force Unleashed games.

This guy was Darth Vader’s apprentice since he was 6. While Rise of Skywalker fails to provide any remotely competent level of training for Rey to conceivably have this level of power. I just don’t buy it and nothing in this trilogy gives vindication to her capabilities of dragging down ships and using incredibly powerful levels of force lightning. Her character feels incredibly weak, especially in this movie, as no time is given to provide depth and explanation to her actions. She also seems clearly outmatched and ill-trained in any lightsaber duel, truly showcasing the prequel’s sheer strength in this field. A more civilized age indeed.

A bit of a shame, because Kylo Ren and Rey had such a strong potential as a dynamic. Rey being a natural born Sith learning the way of the Jedi, Kylo being a natural born Jedi learning the way of the Sith. Each of them had their own light/dark side conflicts and this gave them, helped by the weird link they have, a way to tug at each other’s strings and bounce off each other as characters. This is quite a unique idea, with the previous two trilogies simply not having this dual viewpoint of two young apprentices each having their own struggle.

Really describing this entire movie there, the trilogy itself. Potential.

The potential for so, so much more. Squandered and for nothing.

It gets a -7/10. I have long since become numb to the pain and grief of this poor franchise.

Conclusion – Nyat’ouli System

I learned to love Star Wars anew, only to watch it crumple into absolute garbage. Going through the first six movies with Cassie by my side was a delight. Those movies are filled with so many wonderful ideas, endearing characters, gorgeous settings, and dazzling special effects. All paired with one of the most iconic and endearing scores to ever grace a motion picture. Even with its flaws, and even when considering its awkward or clunky moments, Star Wars manages to be something prolific and, somehow, still special even after so many years of cultural osmosis. …Though, I can still take or leave The Phantom Menace, but five outta six is still a really good batting average.

…But then we get to the sequel trilogy, and… the films become devoid of what they once were. While this trilogy bears the name of Star Wars, it is devoid of the soul, of the essence, of the first six movies. The creative team behind it either did not grasp or was unable to replicate what made the first six films so special. They lack new ideas, when they find them, they are not fully committed to, and at their best, they are either untapped potential or echoes of another era. I really wanted to go in and be positive toward these movies, and wanted to see the finer side of them. Because I had only known of these movies through bitterness and the reverberations of controversy. But not only do I completely see where people were coming from… I think they under sold just how much of an absolute failure “The Skywalker Saga” became during its end.

Star Wars lives on, but it is because Disney has been doing everything in their power to make people forget about Rise of Skywalker, and move on. With spin-off after spin-off, and lower budget series after series. They are going on and on, but at this point, they’re more likely to suffocate this series with their endless fluff.

It was upsetting seeing this bold series reach such lows, but at least I had Cassie by my side every step of the way. Our mutual excitement during the highs of the first two trilogies made them all the higher, and with the sequel trilogy… I think we would have sunken into absolute despair if not for each other.

So, um, I recommend watching the first six movies, and just ignoring the sequel trilogy. It has flickers of potential, but it goes completely untapped.

Kon-clusion – Cassandrilicious System

And so ends another series of movies.

This sequence is the first time I’ve had to sit down and try to think hard regarding my thoughts on these movies and I would consider it a worthwhile experience.

Each trilogy of this franchise is both its own era in-universe, and written in different times with an unusual depth appearing because of it.

The fast paced, elegant duels of the prequels in a time where the ways of the Jedi were widely known and techniques passed down showcased in a very respectable high budget CGI.

The slower, more atmospheric original trilogy. With its air of mystery toward the Force and a certain magical feeling that was never quite recaptured.

And what came after, a re-ignition of a slowly burning out fire with no grace or respect toward what came before.

This franchise, which inspired and serves as one of many core-forming parts of so many generations. Whose music instantly sparks recognition and scene settings a place for much nostalgia. With many profitable toy, game and other merchandising parts was ultimately led to the Darkside by the Disney Corporation in the untimely fall of one of the greatest franchises we have had.

And it is not the only one. As Jurassic Park has suffered a similar fate, with many of its sequel movies often failing to recapture exactly quite what made the original films so great. Both of these are parallel stories of big budgeted movies that went off in directions that just didn’t match the audience’s desire or the vibes of the old. Jurassic Park & Episode IV both spent time to establish their worlds, create an atmosphere or otherwise provide means that the audience would be invested. The resulting action therefore had stakes, suspense, and tension overall leading to a greater reward when the action scenes are shown. You as a viewer were drawn in. It was one of their greatest strengths. But both franchises just simply failed to achieve this in their sequel films.

It is a shame to end such a segment on a downtrodden note, so instead I shall say that Disney Star Wars, The Sequel Trilogy, that is, has made me come to appreciate Star Wars so much more. Next to Disney’s failure, their successes seem all the more impressive.

Once again, the most enjoyable part of this was watching them with my dear Natalie. Even if she had the terrible idea to make us watch those last three at all!

Natalie: “Hey Cassie! Do you wanna watch Clone Wars sometime later? Not, like, right now, but maybe in a couple months?”

Cassie: “Gurl, do you have ANY idea just how LONG that series is?”

Natalie: “Like 130 twenty minute episodes? We can do 5 episodes a week and be done in half a year! Even faster if we go for six!”

Cassie: “Half a year…” *checks books* “After we finish our already planned schedule!”

Natalie: “We can do it after Pokémon Horizons, Space Pirate Mito, and Yu-Gi-Oh! GX. We’re friends forever (hopefully) so we’ll have plenty of time!”

Cassie: “Elizabeeeth~! We’re gonna need more popcorn!”

Tags: Disney, Star Wars

This Post Has 6 Comments

skillet 01/01/2024 Reply

Good Lord, I finally finished reading this after having the tab open on both my phone and PC for almost two weeks. I’m so far behind on all the posts you’ve made since because I wanted to finish this one first. Needless to say, I’m a huge SW fan with comparable background to Cassie, and I really enjoyed reading through both of your opinions, especially as they diverged and your individual preferences and biases were highlighted.

I was especially happy to see people that *get* Anakin’s character and appreciate the prequels so much. It’s so heartbreaking to read how much hate Hayden’s performance received, how angry people were at the cold and badass Darth Vader once being a pretty mama’s boy with a soft voice, understandably angsty and longing from being told to oppress his natural emotions by [The Patriarchy] all his life, as if that’s not the type of person *most* vulernable to go off the deep end like he did.

You mentioned The Clone Wars a few times, and possibly my biggest problem with its direction was the way it mostly disregarded that characterization in favor of something much more safe and less interesting. I’m not sure how much you would like it (I absolutely adored it as a kid, but I’ve since become much more mixed on it than most people seem to be), but I’d love to read you both go through it somewhere down the line.

(Sorry for the long post :P)
1. Natalie Neumann 01/01/2024 Reply
  
  Hiiiii Skillet! Nice to hear from you again. ^^
  This was a really fun project to do, partially because of how enthusiastic Cassie was toward this series, and because it had been so long since I really sat down and watched the series. Even going through the sequel trilogy was… well, now I fully understand why people don’t like them because WOOF.
  Cassie and I have Clone Wars penciled in for another Ramble, but it might not even be this year, depending on how diligent we are with our watch schedule. I am very curious as to how they would handle Anakin’s character, both due to how neatly it is tied together with just episodes II and III, and due to how Anakin would need to be reinterpreted to be presented as a more traditional hero. I know that he would need to act more mature with a Padawan under his watch, but I would hope that any series partially following him would highlight his more fascistic leanings, especially in a time of all-out war.
  1. skillet 01/01/2024 Reply
    
    Well I’ll try not to spoil anything, but you should totally rewatch the 2003 Clone Wars first if you get around to that Ramble. It’s not canon anymore, but it’s a one-sitting kinda thing and *super* fascinating in how different it is, especially in regards to Anakin’s development. And the first half sorta acts as a Season 0 to the later show. But anyway, yeah, it’s nice to be back ^^
Sajah 05/01/2024 Reply

No mention of the Star Wars Holiday Special (1978), Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure (1984), or Ewoks: The Battle for Endor (1985)? I think I’d rather rewatch those Ewok movies that I haven’t seen since their original broadcast than revisit the prequel trilogy. SWHS is quite dire, though.
Turkish Star Wars i.e. Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam AKA The Man Who Saves the World (1982) while it has practically nothing to do with Star Wars (other than stealing footage and music) is a hoot.
1. Natalie Neumann 05/01/2024 Reply
  
  Nah. Cassie didn’t watch the Ewok specials growing up, so we didn’t think to add them to the list. They also aren’t often brought up by Star Wars fans outside of casual mention, so I have no idea if they are good or what they are like. When I tried to watch the Star Wars Holiday Special with Cassie, she got upset because I tried to make it a surprise.
  I thought about adding more, like Rogue One, but I wanted to get this out before year-end, and, more importantly, I wanted nothing to do with Star Wars after watching Episode IX. I watched 40+ movies with Cassie in 2023, and it was the worst one, by far.
  I know Turkish Star Wars has its own cult status, but that’s about it. I’ve never actually seen it, but maybe I can watch it with Cassie at some point.
  1. Sajah 05/02/2024 Reply
    
    Getting upset at a proposal to watch the Star Wars Holiday Special is probably the right reaction! 😃 That show raises a lot of questions, like why Chewie’s father would watch human holographic soft porn. Harrison Ford mock-strangled Conan O’Brien when he brought the program up in an interview: also a reasonable reaction.
    I barely remember the Ewok movies, beyond the impression that as a kid I’d enjoyed them. I tend to doubt if any thought was given to adults watching them too and including anything to entertain them.
    My recommendation of Turkish Star Wars isn’t facetious, though. It’s a fun, weird film. Granted, I get a kick out of Turksploitation in general, but having watched it at a potluck with a number of generations present, I think all were entertained by how bizarre it could be.

Introduction – Nyat’ouli System

Introduction – Cassandrilicious System

Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999)

Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (2002)

Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977)

Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983)

Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens (2015)

Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi (2017)

Star Wars: Episode IX – The Rise of Skywalker (2019)

Conclusion – Nyat’ouli System

Kon-clusion – Cassandrilicious System

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