Rundown (1/31-2/06) Yeah, This is Not Funny Anymore

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come_on_guys_by_ONATSo, it was just pointed out to me that it is grammatically incorrect to add two spaces after a sentence, when I have been doing that for the past six years because one of my teachers told me so and nobody pointed it out to me. I’m also dealing with an incredible amount of hatred towards my own work and livelihood, and am genuinely considering going to see a therapist or psychiatrist. Also, this header image was made by ONAT.

In a move that is head shakingly backwards and confusing, Nintendo of America has made a change to a costume in Bravely Second, as they did with several in Bravely Default. They changed the Tomahawk class, which featured a character dressing up as a Native American as viewed by Japan, into the Hawkeye class, which resembles a cowboy. It sounds terrible, and it is, but I actually do see the logic in this. Bravely Default was a game where you murdered people and stole their clothes and abilities, and NoA probably doesn’t want to publish a game where you murder a Native American.1 PGOS Racial Localization Friendship of Japan

Speaking of major company screw ups, albeit on a smaller level, Tales of Symphonia was released on PC, and it’s quite terrible. The game, has a locked resolution of 720p, framerate of 30, is home to many technical issues, and has an error riddled localization, somehow. Worst of all, the game has DRM, when you could easily download an ISO of the GameCube classic and have a better experience. This was also handed out as a bonus for those who purchased Tales of Zestiria, a quality port from what I heard, which makes this all a whole lot worse. As technical wizard Durante, the man who fixed Dark Souls on PC, put it, this is unacceptable, and good ports quite often lead to high sales. Valkyria Chronicles sold over half a million and Dragon’s Dogma sold over 200k in three weeks. Even the Neptunia series has eclipsed eclipsed over 400,000 units on Steam over the course of a year.2 Zvezda Insolent Wretch know your place you dirt licking fool boy

Heck, Idea Factory and Compile Heart games in general have almost sold a million copies on Steam if you’re counting those published by Ghostlight. Because of this, I have no doubts that their new title, Black Rose Valkyrie, will find its way onto PC eventually. The PS4 RPG tells a “retro-military style orthodox story” about one main male character who must determine which of his five female companions are the traitor amongst his monster slaying military group. The traitor element reminds me of that Vita RPG Lost Dimension that Atlus released last year, but I really don’t have much confidence in the developers beyond the Neptunia series, and even that can be pretty lacking based on the Re;Birth trilogy.3 2015-10-30_00187

Speaking of rebirth, the Doom reboot received a new trailer saying that it will be out by May 13, and it still looks to be a fast paced shooter wedged between canned execution animations made to emphasize the viscera on display. I admittedly never had much interest in the series, it’s older than me for crying out loud, but this largely looks like a generic space shooter rather than a brave return to form. Regardless, it will still get some showspace in Bethesda’s upcoming E3 2016 Conference that I honestly plan on skipping out on. Dishonored 2 and Fallout 4 hold next to no interest for me, and if another collaboration with Obsidian were to happen, it would not be announced for at least another year.4 Sadness

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