Terrance: What a Pitiful Life you Lead

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I just want to preface this short story by saying that I do not agree with everything said. This would mostly come as no surprise, but because it is first person, and I don’t carefully alter the main character’s words from my own, I could understand some people thinking that I am sharing my beliefs, when I am not. It is really me just mixing Donnie Darko and Chaos;Head, because I saw them over back to back weekends and got some neat ideas to imitate.

Within five years, I’ve gone through at least a dozen shrinks. Sometimes they didn’t like what I said to them. Others could not deal with how little I said, and one said I was perfectly normal. His license was eventually revoked after I decked someone’s face in. I’m amazed that my school dealt with me for that long, while only flipping my instructor around thrice. Granted, they were gone half the time, leaving me in a closed room, with a security guard to make sure I didn’t bash my head in on the tiled floor.

But today was lucky number thirteen, 60 months since my little incident. Now I get to hear the same old speech about me being misunderstood, needing to express myself, and all that other trash that ends by saying how I’m a good person, such garbage. This time was just like number three and seven. A fancy looking room with an old black guy with a beard as my doctor, already saw something like that with number nine. Except he had the beard of number two, and the smile of number one, as if he hadn’t heard of what I did. Or was just dim and didn’t understand what shoving a kid’s face in asphalt meant.

His voice tried to be sympathetic, but it was a total crock. Slow smooth words that made me think he was trying the same approach as that sap that stuck me with the fat and hairy bastard who I think was fed growth hormones, since he had the brain of a two year old, and dressed like one too. “So, Terrance, I have heard a lot about you from your parents and previous doctors.” he said, bending a bit to be at my eye level as I slouched in a chair. I kept up the silent treatment for a while, until he said the magic word. “Could you tell me about this Seita character?” I groaned. “She’s not a character, she’s an actual person, you dolt!” “No, it is just a phrase. Sorry if you misunderstood my intentions, I am just curious about your relationship with her.”

I had another couple minutes with this joker, so I spoke. “Well, you should have checked with the previous doctors, because I’ve explained this story for twenty four people by now, you’re number twenty five. It was half my life ago, back when I was nine. I never got the kids around me, always wanting to run about and act like brats. Having trouble with even the simplest of material. It wasn’t until a dream that I found someone who I felt like I could relate to. I fell asleep right after dinner, and was so engrossed, I slept until my Mom pulled me out to eat breakfast.”

“Being another person, an absolute idiot, I told my so called parents about my dream, about Seita. We were playing together in a room, talking about things, stuff that actually mattered beyond the futile banter of my ‘peers’. My parents didn’t get how much I wanted that, how much I missed her upon waking up. I felt the need to write it down, and read it until I had the image in my brain, permanently. It was not until a week later that I found an image of her identical to my own. I eventually convinced my parents to let me use their computer, giving me 20 minutes on the thing, where I searched and found proof of her existence. It was a few screenshots of her face, her body, her posing, all in various outfits, one for which, her original jumpsuit was the one that I saw. And she was made two days ago based on what I discovered, I met her four days before her ‘creation’.”

“From there, I spent every spare hour learning more about her. Seeing a her face throughout all mediums. Light novels to mangas to anime series to games of all genres, and dozens of figurines, 149 in total as of now. I am still securing the final three, only a hundred made, no one wants to give the boxed thrity up, not even the unboxed ones are within my grasp, even a thousand dollars is not enough. But I could only see this material, I wanted to own it all. Costumes to shampoo bottles to limited edition soda cans, all imported from its native country, as I borrowed my parent’s credit cards to secure them. I did ask, but they claimed that I had to keep a limit of $10 times my age for my monthly allowance. But, I managed to get my own credit card, and I bought everything I could find for a month. I was in bliss during that time, but as I filled my room with Seita, and snuck her costume into my school so she would be with me then, my parents wanted to undo my joy.”

“It was not before long I was found out, scolded, and prohibited from using a computer, at least until I got a laptop from my Grandma in the mail, they were out, so I managed to hide it inside of my mattress. I stayed up all night looking into Seita, figuring everything out about her personality, features, and everything there was to know.” “Thank you.” the man said after I paused. “I merely wanted to hear your side directly from you. But, if I may be so bold, could you describe this Seita?”

My miniscule amount of respect for the man faded away. “That’s not bold, you’re just being an idiot!” I blurted out. “Do you want me to explain what air is next? Because they’re the same thing as far as I am concerned. Just like how I hyperventilated when they tried lighting my debut volumes on fire, at least before good old Lee Drummond got his just desserts, in the form of a pair of scissors jammed in his neck. That ended sixth grade for me”

“About that… incident,” the doctor began. “Have you experienced any more violent tendencies after the last one, or any possible urges?” “Yeah, I’ve got a few, like using a Chu Blaster on you and stomp on your transformed rabbit ass.” He scribbled that down on a notepad, another occurrence where I was being too “violent”. “I’m surprised you’re even letting me in here, my parents only pay for progress, and if twelve other saps failed to ‘fix’ me, then what chance do you have. Did you graduate from somewhere special, so you think you’re hot shit? Yeah right!”

“Lookie here… what did you say your name was?” “Charles Montgomery.” “Well Charlie, my parents gave up when I was thirteen, put me in a studio apartment where I had to ask for a door to open. They gave me a PC, and just stopped caring. They say they care by using you as puppets, but I’ve seen enough doctors to know a genuine grin from a shit eating one. If it were a real person, no one would object, I have enough inheritance to live like an ass and never take home a paycheck. But because my behavior is ‘weird’, something must be done so that I want to be with three dimensional girls rather than two dimensional ones.”

“Well,” Charles began. “It is natural for humans to go after other humans, not these ‘two dimensional girls’.” “You could say the same thing about homosexuals. From the standpoint of nature, I see no reason why they should exist. Same thing with retarded people or quadriplegics. They are handicapped through life from the get go, and unable to reproduce.” “But… with them, they are-” Charles tried to explain before I cut him off to mock his predicted response. “‘They are honing after something real’, or ‘it is natural’. Well how the hell do you know that my ‘condition’ is not just an evolution. Makes sense, don’t let certain traits that are negative go through a species’ life. I’m just saying that you should either start putting bullets inside of pedophile’s brains, or shut your damn mouth!”

Charles was frantically scribbling as he mumbled for a response. I was just speaking what I deemed as true, just waiting for him to try and flap his gums about something he simply could not understand. “Terry… what exactly sparked these thoughts in your mind?” I scoffed at him. “The people I have to deal with every day, those imbeciles.” “Really?” he asked, with his lack of interest poorly covered up. “I thought you did not go outside much, and coming here was the first sunlight you felt in weeks.” “You’re right, but news flash Gramps, there’s this thing called the internet, you can talk to lots of people on it. I just need to deal with them when going on message boards about Seita. First place I can find the post, scans, and interviews from the creator.”

“Do you talk to these people about other things?” Charles asked. “No, it’s a message board about her, so why would we talk about other things on it? They try to sometimes, so I learned how to keep them out. After all, if you want to talk about other shows, you’ve got your own listings, move your conversation there, you idiots. It’s bad enough I had to do those sub jobs myself, but now you are butting in about shit nobody cares about!”

“What exactly is a sub job?” “Geez, you did jack for research! It’s adding subtitles to something. I had to learn the language when I was fourteen just so I could dive into the raws, but nobody else had the dedication, so now I need to put in the subtitles for the less devoted. But Seita said it was the right thing, and I just can’t say no to her. Even when she tells me to sleep, eat, do some homework my parents sent. She says its good for me, and she would never lie to me. We have a trust agreement goin on, seeing as I am her biggest supporter who couldn’t go to a convention after that kid cried as I was showing him some proper Doujin. Needy little brat can’t accept art.”

“In all fairness, when a tired sixteen year old cosplaying as a female starts showing very adult content to a child, people will not want that sixteen year old nearby them. We’re low on time, so could you end by telling me about your parents.” “I guess I can. Barely remember their faces, were just figures around me, always pushing me around, keeping me under control since I decided to ‘act out’ after I was enlightened. Last time I saw them, I was thirteen. My mom was staring at me as she shut my door, beginning my new life away from others, at least until your kind came up. My Dad… I last saw him as he tried to talk to me at a hospital. Never even bothered to show his face to me again.”

“Interesting-” Charles said, trying to get a word in, but I stopped it after just one. “Interesting my ass, you just got the same info that I gave to a dozen others. Big whoop! What’s next, you want me to make another Twitter account to vent. Yeah, nobody cared about me, except for some followers that were probably just bots, just typical of those idiots. Am I free now? Some scans should be posted, and I’m not reading them until I’m back at home.”

With that, Charles gave me a warm smile, and tried to hug me, which I avoided like the plague. I was escorted back to my apartment by one of the goons that my parents hired for me. Barely ever said a word to me, and I did the same, even during thirty minute car trips. But it was thirty two today, so I needed even more cheering up once I took off my “normal clothes” and got back into my outfit, as Seita appeared next to me. I always missed her. She didn’t have any of those gross details of 3D people, and was pure as a 2D image, but I could still hold her in my lap. Together we read through every frame of the untranslated text, making notes as we paid attention to every detail of the finely crafted tome. And with her hands over mine, we edited through the chapter, all 18 pages, and posted it within 60 minutes. Just in time for the episode to sneak online, unaltered. That way, I could translate it properly, unlike the simulcast. Where do they get the balls to change anything about this art? It is not a full experience, unless every cultural detail is explained!

I mean, I had to create my own wiki after the more popular one cut down my posts. Sorry that you didn’t like detail, and want a lackluster incomplete experience. But Seita was just glad they wanted to talk about her. She even liked the Hentai about her. Seen all of it, but it had the problem of most fna made materials of being dreadful, unlike mine. And of course they always get the breast size wrong. Its an F, not a G or an E, you morons!

The ever present nuisance of time eventually crossed my eye, as it was 10:36 and I was still awake. I could get six hours of sleep before I had to cover everything else that happened to Seita’s many forms, but I could indulge in a lucid dream of her in the meantime. It was another one where I was her, but in my world. It was in a high school, just another one of those disgusting pits of noise and idiocy. But my lucidity must have been screwed up, because I was actually enjoying my so called peers, and there were no uniforms!

I awoke disgusted, but I had more Doujins to purchase about her, before they could be mistranslated by others. I need to pay for stupidly large shipping costs, which I can’t support with the measly $500 I get for monthly spendings. Instead, I had to do translation jobs for other sources. It pays enough to fuel my hobby, but it pains me to sit through inferior products. Yet some fools say they prefer that crap over Seita, they’re probably just jealous. That’s what Seita told me.

It was one of those days where Seita news was slow, so I did what I normally did. Look at my figures on my wall, read through previous chapters of her adventures, and watch the multiple series she’s been in, but only the sub. I wish death upon any actress who believes that they can emulate Seita’s true voice, let alone anyone related to her. Why can’t these English speaking audience just learn to adapt like I have? Seita plays it cute by being complimented, but she really does deserve more than what she’’s getting. It’s almost an insult for crying out loud!

Unfortunately, the ever common disruptions in my emergence of a greater reality came up in the form of my Mother shocking me by opening my door. She did not hold the look of disgust that she held when I saw her all those years ago, and rather had eyes of false sorrow. “What do you want?” I asked, annoyed at how she appeared and scared off Seita, seeing as how other people scare her, because they’d want to dissect a cat battle girl like her.

“I want to talk to you about your father, Terry.” she said while looking over my Seita filled room, what else should she expect at this point? “Oh, him. Why should I care? Both of you gave me up. Left me to live in an apartment with security keeping me locked inside. All because I was teaching a bully that he was wrong.” “You’re a murderer… you just don’t understand what that means. You don’t remember it, but… you got so mad, so angry at your father. I didn’t want to say it, but… you killed him, you monster!” “Um… No I didn’t.” I replied with the truth. “You stupid cow.”

For some dumb reason, she was stunned and almost a bit disgusted looking. She was the one who made up that dumb twist. She’s the one to blame for any confusion, seeing as how I spoke what was proper. I told her to piss off and close the door along the way, hoping it wouldn’t slap her on the ass as she did so. I could hear her trying to come in and gagging a bit. Not sure on what, seeing as how I always keep this place clean for Seita, and asses to her if she thought I was too messy. She placed a hand on my shoulder, which I then slapped off as she gasped, and i told her to leave once more.

“Terry… you’re a NEET, and I’ve been providing for you since you were born. Since your father died, you’ve had your own home. You’re… an embarrassment. I truly wish I never had you-” “Well maybe you shouldn’t have let Dad’s dick pump into you! Or maybe you could’ve tried out an abortion, you dumbass! If you hate me, go right ahead, try to muster up the balls and shoot me right in my ‘delusional’ head! Go on, a knife, gun, or even a big old rock. If you hate me so much, prove it!”

I turned back to my computer, sifting through forums on year old episodes to see if anyone had any more insight that wasn’t stupid and wrong. I put my headphones on once more and listened to the third drama CD, the second worst one they made, enjoyers be damned. At least until I heard a loud noise from the back of me, and then… then things went black. I felt woozy. Seita called out for me, as I felt everything mush together into a big blur. This wasn’t collapsing, I’m not sure what it was. My head just hurt, and I had flashbacks to that horrible school that I was forced into, and my eventual true awakening with Seita. It was kind of nice, like flushing away a great big piece of feces from this world. As I saw Seita looming over my Mother’s blood soaked body, with a metal rod in her hand, I knew my life had become better. I had brought Seita into reality! Now my true life could begin-

The End… Dontcha just love ambiguous bull crap?

Liked my story? Thought it was rubbish? Well, let me know and I can try to absorb the criticism and make a better product next time!

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