Intertoids Tale Twelve: The Last Drop

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Interoids was a bizarre fanfiction project created by Natalie Neumann that helped launch her passion for passion for writing fiction. Natalie does not recommend that you try to read the original work due to its low quality, structural issues, and grammatical errors. Instead, she encourages you to read the summary included in Volume 05: Intertoids of The Saga of Vincent Dawn and Volume 01: Intertoids of Natalie Rambles About The Saga of Vincent Dawn to better understand the content of this novella.

As Onion expanded his body, now the sun, all of those remaining were lost, except for three. Mina the Longest, President Doctor Onion Joseph, and his little “friend”, Rorymy. Erin was not expecting such an event, and had to rush them out before they were gone for good. They had caused a rift as the same time, meaning they were at least not too hard to spot. What, with their worlds merging and all.

Erin took the trio away from this dimension and into the other, which the Spawn had indeed penetrated, but it was currently busy eating the leftover planets in the universe. He did not have a plan and could only hope for an epiphany. However, it was not he who received the power, but little Rorymy, who was crawling over President Doctor Onion Joseph. As President Doctor Onion Joseph paced while trying to comprehend this situation, ignoring the Fem in his presence, he tried to push away Rorymy, who was very clingy. Then little Rorymy dropped the President Doctor’s trousers, and began going up his but. It was more of a blur than anything, and before he knew it, Rorymy was now inside of President Doctor Onion Joseph’ anus.

President Doctor Onion Joseph began panicking more than he was over the universe collapsing, and as both Erin and Mina the Longest were yelling at each other, her calling Erin a filthy Carrier. And less than a minute later, the group was approached by the Spawn, who presumably moved very fast, since Erin teleported them here due to the massive distance. Now, starring the foe who was large enough to absorb the nonexistent light source of Erin’s dimensional pocket, all seemed to be lost. And then President Doctor Onion Joseph began to shout, grow, and start shooting light from his skin.

It took nearly a minute, but President Doctor Onion Joseph had grown to a size near what Onion Joseph was after he absorbed all the suns in the universe, and glowing like him, except for one thing. The form was not of President Doctor Onion Joseph, it was of Rory Fingers, butt naked. Before Erin and Mina the Longest could even facially express their confusion of the sight, the radiating Rory Fingers leaped right at the Spawn, taking him down with literally no effort at all.

The sun-made Rory Fingers appeared in the interior of the Spawn, which look almost identical to the exterior. He muffled through the gook that randomly made up some sort of body, until he was a twinkle. It was Onion, he was being absorbed by the Spawn. Rory dashed toward his friend, and began to shine his body to overwhelm the spawn enough for Onion to escape, and he did, but he was harmed. Onion has lost most of his light energy, and was merely glowing, rather than shining like a star.

Rory talked to Onion for a while, asking if he could do anything to help, and Onion said, “No Rory, we lost this time.” Rory slapped him in his face and said that was not going to happen, growing brighter all the way. Onion said it again, leading to another strike, and another, and another. He was getting brighter, as Onion was barely even exhibiting light. Rory tried encouraging Onion, but all Onion did was lay his hand on Rory’s chest, and say, “Take my strength.”

Erin and Mina the Longest were trying to traverse the endless darkness, with Erin being unable to create light, since the Spawn instantly devoured it. They wandered for a while, hearts racing all the time, only for the darkness to be broken by a light that followed a loud shout. The two of them were now gone, turned to ash by the light’s intensity. Not due to how Rory had broken free, but how much his anger had broken the darkness.

Rory had left Erin’s pocket dimension as a place made entirely of light, and scattered back to his own universe, now an empty pit of darkness, excluding himself. He had nothing to live for any more. His whole world and greatest friend had died. If he had not been drunk by his new power he could have… No, he could not have.

Rory had no more goals, no more dreams, he had nothing left in life, he had no idea what was going on, but it was as if he somehow did. He hear whispering in his ear, and responded, “Who is that?” He shouted into nothingness, sound somehow traveling through space. A chipper little voice came out and said, “Oh, that was me. Can you hear better me now?” Rory replied with a Yes. “Oh goodie, now I get to explain EVERYTHING to you!” The voice chimed in, not sounding male of female, just… happy. Well, this has all been a little stage for me and my game! “…Game?” Rory replied, awestruck. “Oh dear, how to explain it. Well, everything your world made up about mythology and all that extra crap? It has next to nothing to do with the grand scheme of things. It was just some nutter thinking about a world that he would like to see, growing mad because he had to live with his consequences, and then got to seem the individuals that were an indirect result of his actions be destroyed in 256 different worlds, and in 256 different ways. Well, the person wanted more, but he only got that far in the processing”

Rory was baffled and demanded a better answer. “Okay! Basically, you are one big simulation, someone hacked into your universe and tried to turn it into their own. Granted, it did not work, at least for the most part. We had multiple fail safes keeping the hacker out, yet we still had to break the rules, insert ideas into individual’s heads, try and adapt the people to their cloned planets, with a few hairs for some of you, which were picked pretty haphazardly. We have about 600 people working on this thing, and were given conflicting orders. So now we got rid of the Spawn, or hacker, who was trying to steal and corrupt our data, perhaps in some sort of protest, being someone who thinks artificial people should have rights, or just for their own enjoyment.”

“So you are just a simulation, your world will be rebooted, and I’m here because that look on your face is priceless. And who am I, some disembodied voice? Nope, I am just the interaction program who gave you all premonitions in order to bend the rules, but our attempt has failed, and I can soon stop degrading myself to speaking your pitiful human tongue.” Rory had no words for the voice, and was only given seconds to process the fact that everything was a mistake in the system, that he could not fix, and he was just some pieces of data, sifting through some computer for what? Entertainment? It did not seem to matter, because before he knew it, his trail of thought ended, and he had all but died, along with the rest of the universe.

A few days later…

All was seemingly well with the world. Since the individual who caused this realm’s downfall had been apprehended for attempting to destroy private property, the Universe returned to its original state. All of the individuals brought up in this tale had been returned to their normal lives, as if nothing had happened. Of course they would have back up files, and they only lost three days worth, which they sped through to get things back to their normal pace.

The tales had not been conventional, but were now all a thing of the past, and one that never existed. Even Rory hadn’t the slightest clue that his life was just for gathering some sort of data on lower lifeforms, let alone its purpose. Instead, him and everyone else just kept on living their lives, never encountering their “creators” ever again. The worlds, the perrel, it was not even a footnote. Many live their lives striving for a larger purpose, but what truly makes a purpose significant? What is the ultimate goal for all of us? One can argue that there is none. Just living out lives hoping to find something simulating, and keep on obtaining stimulation until we die. A pretty bleak view, one might say. However, you must ask yourself, would you rather come to terms with the bitter harsh reality, ignoring the message of joy, seeing it as a “distraction” or stay living in a fantasy that just proves reality to be true, despite your denial? I say, do whatever makes you happy.

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