Intertoids Tale Four: Twin Paths of Fate

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Interoids was a bizarre fanfiction project created by Natalie Neumann that helped launch her passion for passion for writing fiction. Natalie does not recommend that you try to read the original work due to its low quality, structural issues, and grammatical errors. Instead, she encourages you to read the summary included in Volume 05: Intertoids of The Saga of Vincent Dawn and Volume 01: Intertoids of Natalie Rambles About The Saga of Vincent Dawn to better understand the content of this novella.

It was the aftermath of yet another live stream of the Destructoid, and the cast of Jay Inferno and Mina Long were returning home. Yet while Mina was being sent to a fantastical world brought on by facts about dolphins, Jay has a slightly different tale for us. Upon returning to home, Jay was more than a little exhausted. Not sure why though, all he had been doing for October has been playing through games and working on reviews for them. And hey, who could think of a better job than that. He was always grateful that he could get paid for making jokes about video games, yet he had been more than a tad unsatisfied. Perhaps due to how annoyed he got when witnessing the reaction of his work, but hey it’s the internet, there’s pretty much no quality control.

He decided to go to bed earlier tonight, as opposed to going out with his friends or girlfriend, and was sound asleep in two minutes. Jay woke up a bit after one in the morning, when he felt some cold liquid go across his leg. After checking his crotch and leg areas, Jay noticed his girlfriend, Jenn, was asleep beside him, maybe her feet were just cold, or something along those lines. Either way, Jay was still tired, so he plopped his head right back down.

He awoke sometime later, in a dazzy fit, as if he spent the last night getting far too intoxicated, despite the fact he went to be sober and pretty early as well. His clock showed that it was 10:12 in the morning, long after he was suppose to get up. He thought he had both Jenn and his roommate as back-ups- Wait, where was Jenn? Did she leave? Where to? Why was her side of the bed completely covered? She did have a class at 10:30, so was she gone, yet why did she not shake him a bit to get him up? These questions raced through Jay’s head as he got out of bed, when he noticed something, nothing about him felt quite right.

He ran to the bathroom so he could find a mirror, which felt odd, as if a third of his body had fallen asleep. Once there, he glanced forward and what he saw simply perplexed him. He looked like the hypothetical child of Jenn and himself. A near 50/50 cut for ethnicity, slightly shorter hair than Jenn’s, a mostly female face and torso, along with hairless legs and arms that felt familiar to him, like they were his original limbs, in addition to his penis, oddly enough. All while weEring some miscellaneous sleeping shirt and what looked to be shorts, the clothes appeared to have also merged to fit his new figure. Although as he look at himself, the more visibly different aspects of Jenn and himself, seemed to fade and morph into something else. Jay felt sharp pains as his body adjusted itself, until he was struggling on the floor for what felt like several hours.

He got back up and looked into the mirror, with his entire body looking uncanny. Yet as he was looking over himself, since that would be the more polite pronoun, Jay heard Jenn’s voice ringing in his ear, and when he responded, he spoke with a slightly deeper version of her voice. Stopping mid sentence due to his new voice, Jay merely thought and stumbled on several unusual memories, somehow both his and Jenn’s memories had merged as with knowledge and muscle memory.

After being confused and frightened to the point of fear, after all, who could blame him. Jay left the bathroom and decided to look for help in some way, shape, or form. However, as he was pacing back and forward, desperately trying to think of a plan, Jay noticed that the view from his window was now different. Instead of being an urban area along with his apartment, his apartment was now on the first floor, and outside was a beach. Jay left the door leading out of his apartment in order to investigate this anomaly, shaking slightly all the way.

Once he opened his apartment door and took his first step onto the refreshingly warm, but not too hot, sand, Jay felt a breeze go behind him and his apartment vanished. Curiously, it was just his one rented out section, while the hallways were nonexistent. Looking back at the beach, Jay noticed a very expensive looking three story beach house in the corner of his eye. Looking for answers to what was going on, Jay ran towards the house. Well, he tried to run, the mix between bodies had become a single difficult to recognize mess, sure he looked like the offspring of him and Jenn, but none of it looked quite right, as if someone had described her features to someone who never saw her, or her parents. Shaking his head due to the gender confusion he had due to his more feminine body, but more male mind, Jay continued to jog, getting used to his offputting center of mass.

After a few minutes of attempted jogging, Jay made it to the house, twisted the knobs of the large double door, and swung them open, thankful there was no lock. However, the sight he saw was hardly reassuring him that he would get answers anytime soon.

Within something that could conservatively be called a mansion, Jay noticed that everything looked… Blocky. There were only a small selection of colors covering the house, making it look like a poorly inked drawing, and the fact that everything seemed to be made from Lego pieces, Jay thought that he walked into some kind of display project of creating an entire house was made up of Legos. As Jay moved his head around to observe his surroundings, he realized that his body was stuck in place, right down to his vision. This also applied to his destroyed sense of smell, or even the ability to feel his own body’s weight. After some more internal panic, Jay head some mildly loud beeps come from his right side. His vision automatically turned, and the lower fourth of his vision was replaced by a textbox.

After a rushed transition, Jay was shown a very pixelated looking girl weEring a bikini and with the only moving parts of her being her mouth, which jutted from three positions as more of the same beeps wailed into his ears. As for her looks, she was drawn in a very generic anime style, with blue making up her entire outline and long hair, and a light tan skin color filling in the rest. Although her bikini was red and orange, so she at least looked distinct, if not very flat. In fact, all depth was seemingly gone, with the entire world being a 2D screen.

Jay did not pay much attention to what the girl was saying, and then another text box appeared, which asked if he was a Boy or a Girl. Jay, still considering himself to be male, selected Boy, not sure how he selected it, he just mentally moved down a cursor, which triggered the pixelated girl to move he rips as the lower textbox displayed this: “Don’t be silly, you’re a girl if I ever saw one.” The second textbox appeared again, with the same choices, prompting Jay to select boy again. Same response. He selected Boy several more times, with no variation on the response. Jay gave in after about 25 tries, causing the textbox to display: “Silly, I could already see that!” As the girl’s eyes shut and she donned a smile.

After considering just how insane this is. He is in what looks like a gameboy color game for crying out loud! Hell, there was music that sounded like it came from one that was ringing in his ears, changing based on every situation. Jay went through with the dialog, glancing over it, with his confusion quickly turning into boredom. And after a good ten minutes of text, Jay’s vision shifted to display a… title screen? It showed, with no real logo, Jay Inferno’s Fantasy Beach Sex Island. With it came a realization, Jay was in a game idea he pitched over a year ago… What?

After navigating a menu with his mind, Jay was greeted with several “Scenarios”, all displaying familiar names, names that were made as fake twitter accounts of him. There were two he could access, LittleGirlScov and MarxistInferno, neither of which sounded pleasant, but Jay selected the first one. The textbox at the bottom of his vision told him of a scenario, where he would need to go through seven encounters with the many faces of Jay Inferno and make all of them fall in love with him. It was kinda like a dating sim, designed by someone who never played one. The entire objective, in lack of a better word, was to go through these encounters and get as many “Relationship Points” as possible, through dialog trees that lasted about half an hour. Jay reluctantly pursued this quest.

After seven encounters, trying to pick the right options, all of which sounded like they were directly translated, along with everything his pixelated variants said. Jay was then greeted with an image of his variant, and what he assumed to be his current body, or former, seeing as he now lacks any real physical presence and can no longer feel. Getting sexually involved… Needless to say, he was disturbed all seven times he had to do it. After going through his other variants, HipsterInferno, FrenchInferno, JayPedoferno, and a few that he did not even remember. All of which had his base personality, but a few odd quirks, creating a sense of uncanniness, he was greeted with a menu option that said, “FINAL CHOICE!”.

It lacked any kind of black drop, and just had a black screen with a noiseless textbox that said, “Good job getting this far. Now your life is in your own hands. Select one of these two endings for your happiest end.” There were only two choices that appeared in two other text boxes, “Stay on the Island and Embrace Your New Half’s Fate.”, or “Leave the Island and Embrace Your Old Half’s Fate.” After selecting one, the text boxes disappeared, and everything was black for a second, only for it to change a few moments later.

Ending 1:
There was a bright light in her eyes, and Julie was in a daze, yet happy for a reason she was trying to recall as she got her beErings on what looked like a beach. Glancing down on her armor made from the dense shells of the local giant crabs, she recalled her mission from her Zanker clan. She had to round up those Carriers(Tall and hairy men with giant ball sacks and vaginas), She adjusted her body, stretched out a bit, and whipped out her tail, prepared to use it to grab the Carriers as they came into her vision. Granted, she was not tall at four feet, eleven inches, so her tail was not that long, but it was .65 meters(~2 feet), so it should at least be able to strangle the Men if they tried chucking rocks with their limp arms. Julie took in the sun and went off, to get those tall and hairy Carriers and show them why they were put in the camp to begin with. Maybe She’d even get to engrave a burnmark into their hides. Either way, Julie knew her mission as a Zanker, and the hunt was on

Ending 2:
He was awoken by a siren that implied that his services were needed. Brick Unit JUL.INF-JAY exited his cot and got prepared, his body was damaged due to the previous battle, so he had recently gotten replacement body parts. Sadly, they had to come from a Fem(woman), much to his dismay, but this was war, he had to make due with skin, a torso, and a few organs that had been cleansed in the Testosterone pits. At least he kept his large legs, bringing him up to a respectable seven feet, eleven inches.

After placing on his recently replaced armor, nice and grey, with a symbol not unlike a Baseball intentionally scratched out. Brick Unit JUL.INF-JAY left his bunker, grabbed his massive guns with several unneeded upgrades, smelled the gunpowder, and knew that it was time for the fight, the reason every true man had to live, cleanse this country and raise the military might. With a permanent scowl on his bearded face and a head devoid of hair, he sprinted out into a world he knew to be ideal. He got into a contraption of meat, metal scraps, and wheels that he knew was referred to as a boar.

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