Wherein I discuss: My impending surgery and the erotic conundrums therein. The Re;Birthering of a Witchsome variety. And the TF-ing of Nigma Box.
Rundown Preamble Ramble:
Cum On Please, for Old Time’s Sake
As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I’m getting bottom surgery on December 19th. This is something I’ve wanted for several years, but now that it is so close, I am beginning to feel a bit nervous about it, and for a few reasons:
Number one, all surgery has risks and potential complications, and considering how intensive this procedure is— amputation of the penis, vulvoplasty, labiaplasty, and clitoroplasty— there were a lot of risks that I have to accept to get this surgery. Now, I am a pretty healthy person, and my surgeon is highly experienced, so I have relatively few doubts. But there is always a slight chance something could go super wrong.
Number two, I will need to stay in a hospital for three days. The older I get, the more disgusted I become with the American medical system and how hospitals are designed for profit. Workers are pushed to their limits. Germs are everywhere. And they are absurdly expensive places, where everything is overcharged, because of the interplay decided upon by corporations. My insurance is covering the procedure (thank cripes), but I know I will probably need to pay several thousand dollars for my co-pay.
I hate what Hospitals stand for, as I am constantly reminded of what they should be, and I can already tell that, after this, I will NEVER want to stay in a hospital ever again. And if that means I die when I’m 60 because I refused to get a procedure, then so be it. I hate them that much.
And number three is the fact that after this surgery I am going to lose certain ‘boons’ I had thanks to my penis. I will need to go to the bathroom more, as my urethra will be shorter. It will be louder when I urinate, which I know is going to make peeing more of a chore to me, as I like being quiet. And… I also won’t be able to masturbate the way I’m used to.
With a penis, masturbation is super easy. You look at something erotic, give it a couple rubs, shove it in a zipper-less fold and close sandwich bag, and let the hand you hold the mic with take control. They’re easy to use, and you can do it one handed no problem, so masturbating in front of a computer is easy peasy.
After my surgery, a zero-depth vaginoplasty, I won’t have a vaginal canal, but I will have a clitoris. And with a clitoris… I know it takes more experimenting to figure out what feels right for you, and that the motions should be gentler. It requires a bit more exploration, but it’s something that anyone can figure out. However, I believe that I might not… be comfortable with it.
I tend to be very sheepish around nudity. I prefer to gloss over it when it comes up in the media I frequent, and I hope to never see another naked person for the rest of my life. As such, I worry that if a part of me changes dramatically, if my crotch is laid out differently and looks vastly different, I might not want to masturbate at all. …Which I would not really mind.
Masturbation is something that is hard for me to do nowadays, and I feel like a creep for doing it. Checking old writing archives and TG caption BlogSpots to get my niche fix. It is a habit that is, quite literally, driven by nostalgia, in addition to being something a fraction as stimulating as it once was. As such, I am fully willing to rid myself of this desire, and drift further down the asexual spectrum.
…However, the caveat with all of this is that I simply do not know how my body and mind are going to react after this surgery. If my sexual desires will be re-rebooted with the loss of old parts and a change in my HRT. If I will be endeared to my new genitals because they are my genitals. Or if I will try clitoral masturbation once, say ‘this sucks,’ and never bother again.
I simply do not know.
…Also, I love how I unconsciously made a reference to On The DL from Bizarre Ride II The Pharcyde while talking about this. An album whose second track features a verse where the singer propositions sex from a supposed trans woman and then, based on the size of her feet, claims “this ho [turned] out to be a John Doe.” I could’ve gotten mad at that, but this track was written in 1992. And I’d have to be a dumb-dumb to expect anyone in 1992 to handle trans stuff with grace. People like to think that common knowledge from nowadays was common three decades ago, but that ain’t how it works, sweetie.
Acquisitions continue to be operating on the DL, so let’s jump to the single news stories I took note of this week, before getting into some miscellaneous tangents.
(CD Projekt Announces The Witcher Remake)
Three weeks ago, CD Projekt announced their future plans for the next decade or so. And one of these was a project by the codename of Canis Majoris. A title that, this past week, was revealed to be a remake of 2007’s The Witcher. No snippets about the game itself were shown, so… time for a history lesson with Professor Nattz!
The Witcher served as the first title developed by CD Projekt, and was one of the largest video games developed in Poland at the time. In a sense, this makes what the title was able to accomplish immensely impressive… but its long and messy development is very much reflected in the final product. The game is built on an aging engine originally meant for isometric games, yet is primarily presented with a behind the back perspective. It features an ample amount of what I endearingly dub ‘eurojank’ across its mechanics, interface, and physics. And I distinctly remember the sex scenes in the game being praised in a rather… juvenile manner. Because this was the late 2000s.
Still, those who stuck with the title were able to find a rich and rewarding experience. Unfortunately, its audience was initially limited, as 2007 was something of an odd era for PC games. The Witcher was a PC exclusive that came out before the true advent of digital distribution, and in the middle of the ‘PC gaming is dying’ pop narrative. Technically, it was not as visually impressive as many other games designed for HD systems at the time. And while there were plans to upgrade and retool the game for consoles, by way of Widescreen Games, those plans were scrapped in 2009.
CD Projekt instead used what they had learned to develop The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings. A title that was met with glowing praise when it launched in 2011, and again when it was ported to Xbox 360 in 2012. In fact, the title was such an improvement that I distinctly remember people saying that The Witcher 1 should be skipped in favor of its sequel. An impression that people doubled down on with The Witcher III: The Wild Hunt.
Or in other words, The Witcher was a victim of circumstances, and later outshined by its sequels. Which, to me, is a good reason to remake the game. It is a known title, and super cheap, but the game is archaic by modern standards. As such, it makes sense to recreate what the original did from the ground up, and present it to a whole new generation of game likers.
To accomplish this, CD Projekt handed development duties to Fool’s Theory, a Polish Studio staffed by some veterans of The Witcher series. Beyond a logo, no details have been revealed, but there is still something cathartic to seeing the series go full circle like this. From a plucky ambitious project by a passionate yet inexperienced group, to a AAA franchise so big that it is getting remakes.
…Also, as a reminder, 2007 was 15 years ago. Mass Effect, Super Mario Galaxy, Crysis, Modern Warfare, Portal, Halo 3, Pokémon Diamond and Pearl, all of those games are now so old that, if they were humans, they would be old enough to reproduce.
(Natalie Decided to Rename Nigma Box)
Throughout this year, I expressed ruminations about changing the name of Nigma Box and, once again, I developed a desire to be a go-getter, quit sticking to my guns, and get something better. (Yes, that is another Pharcyde reference. What can I say? That album fucks!) What triggered this? Um, hearing a reader call Nigma Box “N****r Box” with her White-ass voice on a Discord voice chat. TWICE!
Sadly, this person did not have any suggestions and insisted that “Nigma Box is Nigma Box.” Which, you know, kind of defeats one of the main purposes of criticism. To make something better. As such, it falls upon me to think of names again, but what options do I have?
Well, the name of Nigma Box is derived from two things. My online handle, Electric Nigma (itself derived from enigma). And the ‘box’ namesake has two meanings. One, it is a ‘soapbox’ for me. A platform where I can voice my opinions and thoughts about whatever. And two, it is a… regular box that I can store my writings in. Or in other words, Nigma Box is the box of the Electric Nigma. The Electric Nigma’s Box.
However, I am no longer using the handle Electric Nigma as much, as I typically use my legal name of Natalie Neumann instead. As such, if I am using the same conventions as I did in 2012— when I was 17 and far stupider— I should call this site Natalie Box, or perhaps Natalie’s Box. Sadly, there are two issues with that.
One, Natalie Box is technically a name for several human beings, and nataliesbox.com is a creative design site. As such, there would be too much overlap even with a variant name like “The Natalie Box.” Two, Natalie’s Box sounds like a freaking porn site, as box is a euphemism for vagina. And while I talk about a lot of erotic content, I don’t produce pornography. If ya think I do, then you’re dead wrong.
Okay, okay, so what alternative names could I use instead of Nigma Box? Well, I want the site to contain my name in it, and I want it to be punchy, only featuring two words. This led me to think about making the site Natalie.something. With something being a custom URL ending, since those have been hip and happening for at least five years now.
The domain name that I like the most is Natalie.tf. A Domain heavily inspired by Espeon’s Gender.tf, and one that conveys a focus on transformation content, without being too overt about it.
Originally I was going to go on to list potential names and then ask for help in choosing one… But I decided to say “screw it” and instead decided to go with Natalie.tf as the new name for Nigma Box. So piss off Natalie.Zone, Natalie.Land, and Natalie.World! I’m going to go with Natalie.TF.
I already bought the domain for about $50/year, and it is currently in the verification process, but I do not plan on switching to Natalie.TF for a while. This will be a December 2022 project for me, as my November is gonna be STUFFED with things I need to do. However, come 2023, I hope to put the Nigma Box name behind me, and switch to Natalie.tf.
Now, I will NOT give up the Nigma Box name, and I will not go back and retroactively remove the name from anything. Because that would be way, way too much work. But going forward, Natalie.tf will become the main site, and nigmabox.com will simply redirect to it. …Assuming WordPress lets me do that.
More details will be revealed in a future post, and this was just a tangent that evolved into something greater.
Ends & Updates:
The Second Month From Hell Is Approaching
- Press-Switch v0.6a review is going live on October 31st, and will be over 8,000 words long. Sorry it took me so long, but the game is positively massive, and updating the flowchart took me longer than expected.
- My Dragalia Lost archive project is continuing to make progress, but I am not done quite yet, as I still need to record 26 Kaleidoscape runs and record gameplay footage for 28 event quests. Which amounts to over 50 hours of recording. My deadline is November 29th.
- Progress on the Dragalia Lost archive project will be interspersed with work on TSF Series #015: JK no Sarariman. A ~10,000 word short story that will be released on November 18th.
- Once these three projects are completed, I will invest my time into working on Natalie Rambles About Dragalia Lost – THE FINAL, which will be released on November 30th.
- After Student Transfer Version 7.0 is released, sometime in November, I will redirect my efforts to producing flowcharts and a review. The review will probably not be released until early December.
Header image comes from Geruchen by Hangesho (C Hange). A TSF comic that I really don’t have too much to say about, as it implemented a lot of ideas that I had seen elsewhere before. However, it is clearly a work of passion, and one with enough weirdness and personality to earn a spot in my collection. The frame from the header directly inspired this week’s preamble topic by the way, as I simply could not let that frame go under appreciated! It is too kawi!