Disclaimer: This novel contains adult materials including sexually explicit activities, childhood trauma, domestic violence, strong language, and incest. Reader discretion is advised.
Session 17: Obtuse Origins – Omega Overdrive
Verde: So, after almost fifty-two thousand words exchanged between the two of us…
Verde: I was surprised myself, but I have been keeping track of the word count. Anyhow, onto the history and backstory I promised I would provide you. Although, I may have hyped things up a little too much.
Verde: It all began a… a long time ago. An angry young man, known by the pseudonym of Vincent Dawn, lived in a world very similar to the one you know. For reasons lost to time, he was gifted a great power, the ability to reshape reality and alter the world around him. With such power and a… skewered moral code, Vincent Dawn began abusing their newfound abilities, using them for both his own creative expression and for… what eventually became a fetishization of despair, torture, misery, and so forth.
Before you continue, Verde, how do you know all this?
Verde: Vincent Dawn wrote a collection of anecdotes and records of how he used his powers. I would use the term Kafkaesque to describe his attempts at dramatized prose, but I do not feel he deserves such a title. Point is, his creations were hard to read for the most part, and quickly degraded into utter nonsense that went on and on. I read through everything, but it was hard to make sense of his madness.
When you say madness, do you mean he was insane?
Verde: I described his actions as a ‘fetishization of despair, torture, misery, and so forth’ and I meant it. Vincent Dawn was a sadist. He enjoyed harming others and seeing others harm others. People were little more than playthings, well, aside from one.
Fair enough… But now I want to know what exactly happened to Vincent Dawn. I mean, you said he died, but how exactly does one kill a person who can change all of reality if he so wishes to?
Verde: I can answer both questions with a single word. Suicide.
Oh… Did he grow bored with life, feel that he was truly evil and decided to kill himself to make amends, or…
Verde: It is true that he experienced some boredom, as is inevitable, but the real bringer of his downfall was erectile dysfunction… Vincent Dawn had his own deviant sense of pleasure, and one day he was unable to feel or satiate these desires. This allowed Vincent Dawn to finally stop and think about who he is and what he has been doing with his power, his life, and so forth. He was not happy with the results and deemed himself unworthy of his powers, choosing to pass them on to another.
Verde: For whatever reason, Vincent Dawn chose me to succeed him. Me. A newly born being, three years old, named Verde Dusk. And when I came into being, I quickly found Vincent Dawn’s suicide note, where he explained his mistakes, his woes, and his triumphs. But most critically, he begged me to not follow his footsteps and to stray far away from the path of madness he traveled.
Wow, um, he almost sounds like a tragic figure when you put it that way.
Verde: He was, in a sense. In another, he was a monster. And I tend to favor the latter perspective, as callous though it may be.
Okay, I think I understand, but I have a few questions. First off… How exactly did Vincent Dawn do the things he did, and… how do you do the things you do?
Verde: …I wish for it to be, and it is. I can craft worlds, universes, and alter them to my liking, all through the concentrated power of will. I could, in theory, do anything I wish with these grand and limitless abilities of mine. But I instead choose to focus on smaller, more personal alterations wherein I interact with social microcosms involving a few rather than galactic macrocosms that involve billions. I want to use my powers well. I want to fend off the madness he warned me of. I do not want to wave my hand and see whatever I wish to see for my own pleasure. I want to help learn about the world one step at a time. …And I want to help you, Jad Novus
I… I am quite grateful that I have earned your interest, Verde, and that I was able to experience something like this. But, thinking about the big picture, I think that I’m doing just fine. I think I benefited a lot from this experiment, I learned more about things I never really thought about and all that junk. But, ultimately, I think your talents would be better used elsewhere.
Verde? I’m sorry, did I offend you?
Verde: Do you think of yourself as a good person?
Verde: Don’t ‘huh’ me, answer the damn question!
I don’t hurt others, try to be nice and respectful, and would never go out of my way to hurt somebody who has not wronged me or anyone I know.
Verde: Congrats, you have reached the bare minimum bar to be a decent human being, but are you content with wallowing in the pits of mediocrity for the remainder of your days?
I just talked about how Maxxie and I—
Verde: Do you really believe her though? Believe that everything will be okay if you stay in this position, surpassed by everyone you know about? Both Terra and Shiaka are truly not that different from you. I mean, if you really think about it.
Verde: Both of them are timid young women who are well on their way of pursuing true happiness. Shiaka has been incredibly strong after she had every reason to slit her own throat. Yet she has blossomed into a lovely person who is getting stronger by the day.
Verde: Terra, meanwhile, was a little boy who decided to come out and be honest with their sister, going against the established norms and pursuing her own happiness at such a young age. She did not suppress her desires and let them remain in the back of her brain, like you. You may think that Maxxie helped you find peace in your life, but you know that you still truly, deeply, harbor some sense of hatred for yourself, you just want to avoid it. You are fleeing from your fears. You are pathetic. You are worthless.
I… no. No, you’re right. I… I really am not happy with myself, and I’m not… I am not satisfied with my life.
Verde: I know there is a lot going inside your head, stuff you don’t even consciously know about yet. I can help you, Jad. I want to help you out as best I can. It’s just that… I’m not very experienced and don’t understand a lot of things. I want to learn more about people, about you, about myself. And I want to help both of us, Jad.
And you want to do this by sending me into alternate realities and then talking about my experiences there?
Verde: Yes, is there anything wrong with that?
It… I guess it acts as a good catalyst for a bizarre six-hour-long therapy session… Ones that are probably exponentially more effective than regular therapy
Verde… You’re not going to flip out again, are you?
Verde: Oh, so you, erm, oh my goodness. I was honestly not expecting this to work out that well… Are you interested in continuing these sessions, about once a month or so, while trying to better yourself in the intervening time?
I— Sure, I guess. But, hold up, will I remember what happened or-
Verde: You will remember everything when you wake up in your bed on the morning of November 22, 2014. You could tell your friends about your dream wherein you went to an alternate dimension and spoke to the queen of reality about what you just saw… but that might not be the best idea.
That… is a pretty good point. So, do I just go out the door, or…
Verde: Yes, you will wake up as if nothing ever happened, but you will remember everything.
Oh, okay, erm, right, thank you very much, Verde.
Verde: ‘Not a problem,’ Jad Novus, I’ll catch you come December.
Okay then… see you next time, Verde Dusk!
Verde: Well, that went better than I anticipated. True, my expectations were set intentionally low, but I finished my first session with Jad Novus. I just hope I can truly help him this time… Verde, no, that part of your life is behind you, and it should not be dwelt upon. Feel no despair, no frustration, no self-loathing. You can and will do this, for Jad Novus and for yourself. “You are Verde Dusk, you can handle anything.” Isn’t that right, Vincent Dawn?
Verde: …Yes Verde, you are thinking out loud again. Oh, dearie.
Verde’s Doohickey Main Page
Session 01: Re;Birth.exe
Session 02: Osananajimi;Myself
Session 03: Maximum Flare
Session 04: The World of Girl Love
Session 05: It’s Slippery When Wet
Session 06: T-Girl Trouble
Session 07: All The Warriors
Session 08: A School-Style Swap
Session 09: School Daze
Session 10: Starred Social Links
Session 11: Finer Foreshadowing
Session 12: Dark Dreams Develop Despair
Session 13: Back 2 Best Girl
Session 14: Can’t Even Shine In A Prism
Session 15: Maxxie Mit Melancholy
Session 16: The Long Walk Home
Session 17: Obtuse Origins – Omega Overdrive
Afterword: Natalie Rambles About Verde’s Doohickey
Session Extra.1: Adoration
Session Extra.2: Inheritance
Session Extra.3: Resonance
Session Extra.4: Confessions