Rundown (1/19-2/01) I Wanted to Use This Period Blood Picture

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Boku wa Mari no Naka Laugh and grow fat you fuck there is blood from your vagina on this hahah chuckleTalking about video game news from any more than a week ago feels like dragging out a dead horse and expecting any positive reaction from how you put a rotting hunk of meat in front of somebody’s face. As such, I’ve decided to make this my last two week covering post, or at least try to do as such, even if I only have three paragraphs to trump because it was freaking Christmas and nobody’s going to announce crap on Christmas.

Starting off this week, or rather last week, there was a rumor floating around about Nintendo’s next game system, which would potentially be dubbed the Nintendo Fusion. A system that would combine a dual screen system that acts as a handheld, and a box, or rather Terminal for processing and playing more graphically intense games, or potentially the same games at a higher resolution that will be displayed on one’s television. As it stands, I am fond of certain aspects of this idea, but it is fake as can be. The simple facts that the Wii U hasn’t been out for two years, there are specs for both of these machines, and the 3DS has a hell of a lot of life left in it all make this a fantasy that may or may not become reality, but only when time has passed, meaning holiday 2015 at the goldarn earliest. Also, why bother with a box that has intense graphical fidelity? I just want them on a big screen in 720p at 30fps, as that is good enough for dumb old me.

Snafu Derp I'm sumb please do not rape me with car penis my vagina is too clean for dat shit

In softer, but still complexing news, Rune Factory 4’s european release has been cancelled. The publisher of Marvelous Europe gave no reason for this cancellation, and due to the amount of time the translation team must have had I am surprised to see this project canned. Though, they may get the rerelease of the DS remakes of the Phoenix Wright games for the 3DS, which were announced for Japan at the very least. A state that will be in flux for as long as it takes to remove the Japanese text and interface, as the game will have full English text in Japan. That, and add back in them Hamburgers… or not. Either is fine.

GUP Pretty American So Far No Context

What is not fine, aside from my transition formulas, is how King, those chaps- sorry, craps who made Candy Crunch Saga, trademarked the word Candy. Specifically in regards to clothing and video games, but still, they now own the flipping word Candy… Also, they are angry at The Banner Saga, a hardcore Viking TBS that looks like a 1980s animated Disney film, for using one of the same words as they do. I hope these poops either lose all their money for being 82% feces, or copyright, fair use, patents, and all that shit get updated in this blasted country. *Insert political wisecrack, except for how I wrote a story where both 2008 presidential candidates were killed by an electronic gimp boy… coming May 2014*

SB Huh Face

On the subject of this country, meaning the United States, it has been confirmed that Monster Hunter 4 is coming to the western world as a whole in early 2015. With the delay being attributed to how the version would be that of Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate. A move that is much like Bravely Default, and Fantasy Life (we’re getting a ton of stuff from Level 5, so why not that), is seeing a pseudo-sequelized massive patch that Japan needs to pay for, but is free everywhere else. Which is not entirely like what Renegade Kid is doing with their 2009 title, Moon, as it is being remade and expanded as an episodic 3DS game under the name of Moon Chronicles. Hopefully I can actually enjoy this one, but I am not very likely going to play it. As I’m three for three on not liking Renegade Kid’s stuff.

KC Are you bullying Me You Jerk

I also do not care very much for Gears of War, due to the aesthetics being a bit on the… terribly colored side. So apathy is an understandable reaction when hearing that Microsoft now owns the IP, while the same emotion was expressed when hearing that Black Tusk Studios, makers of nothing, abandoned their tactical espionage game in favor of Gears of War 4. Oh, and throw in apathy towards an alright looking Sly Cooper film, coming in 2016. While the complete polar opposite of announcements caused a far more vibrant reaction as I read the headline, “Wayforward Making New Wonder Momo Game For PC”. Not that I know much about the character of Wonder Momo, or am necessarily happy to see that WayForward’s plate if even more full (Shantae 3, Shantae 4, Double Dragon Neon 2, Shantae 2 DX, and their incredibly ambitious Catgirl Without Salad). Still probably gonna buy the beat ‘em up, as it’s sure to be quality and pretty.

PGOS You wanna get me because I'm prettyOh, but pretty is not the best word for Nintendo- you know what, no. I’m getting tired of bringing this up, but Nintendo has plans to stick with and improve the Wii U, falsifying the earlier rumors very quickly, while also claiming there will be much restructuring done, including a small team for them to make use of the Smartphone market for their own gain. Not placing games on them or anything, but I recall hearing the possibility of their version of Playstation Now, but for far less technologically intensive games. I’d hope that would mean SNES games on the 3DS, but no such thing was confirmed, just that they’d work on software prices, and maybe expand into China. PGOS Not Right Wrong Fix it

Also, the Wii U will be able to play DS games. Likely through downloads, but the details are super slim, just like with the 3DS getting GBA support, even though it already does, except this will not be half-assed. Still no word on getting SNES games on the blasted thing, even though people probably played them on their DS. Same with Super Gameboy, you slackers! Except they are trying hard by adding stuff like ID based ownership for games, as this is 2014. With the additional claim that Iwata wishes to see the 3DS and WIi U act like brothers. Cool, now get to work on that before another guy takes over, because you are the first president in company history to lose money in a quarter, let alone a year. Which, in my pool of wisdom, means that the true leaders of the Nintendo-Zord are looking for a new red ranger, or something like that.

SCD Tank sentai monster demons rolling away from shadowsBRB, gonna go edit a story about deception and wolf people. Will post an Assassin’s Creed 4 review on Wednesday.


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