Hoffnung auf das Beste; Erwarte das Schlimmste.

TSF Showcase 2024-37
Kämpfer (Manga) by Toshihiko Tsukiji & Yu Tachibana

Now this one takes me back! I’ve mentioned before that my entry into TSF was triggered by binging through Ranma ½ across 8 days in June 2008. And once I was in, I was devoted to scrounging up whatever I could find. Old Fictionmania stories, TG captions, movie and anime clips posted on YouTube by long dead channels, translated non-hentai manga. The list goes on. However, it was fairly slim pickings back then— the children don’t know how good they have it these days— and I was desperate for something more substantial and more modern. 

So imagine my surprise when I saw the transformation sequence for a brand new TSF anime by the name of Kämpfer. An action comedy series about a regular teenage dude-schmuck who turns into a girl and fights people. …Kinda like Ramna, but different.

I kid, but Kämpfer was fairly big in the TSF circles I flew in during 2009/2010, and was a show that I eagerly watched every week when it came out, but do not really remember. I contemplated going through the anime again, doing my first proper anime review in years, but I decided that if I was going to revisit this series, I wanted to do it properly. Not with a limited 12 episode series that lacked a true ending. 

…Well, unless you count the season finale where the Entrail Animals plushies steal the protagonist’s bodies, return to their home planet, and the actual main characters get thrown out of a flying sleigh by a Santa lady. …Shit, that actually sounds like something I’d include in TSF Series. I guess I really am just the byproduct of what I liked as a teenager.

Instead, I am going through the manga adaptation. Yes, adaptation, as this series was originally a light novel that ran from 2006 to 2010. I would cover that, but light novels rarely ever receive high quality translations, the series is 15 volumes long, and most importantly, only the first volume was ever translated. So instead I’m going to cover the 10 volume manga series instead. 

But before I begin, I’d like to clarify the translation situation. The series was picked up for an official English adaptation from the Digital Manga Guild. They published the first three volumes in 2014, had a different translation team release volume four in 2016, and then dropped the series. I could not find any discussion as to why this happened, but I’d assume it was due to a license falling through, low sales, or some other common pitfall. Fortunately, a fan translation was going on before this release and wrapped up in June 2017. As such, I’ll only be reading the official release for the first four volumes before switching over to the unofficial translation.

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Band Null: Prämisse und Charaktere
(Premise and Characters)

This showcase is going to be a long one, so let me start by explaining the characters.

The general premise of Kämpfer centers on a group of magical warriors, dubbed Kämpfers. A collection of high school girls who have been bestowed magical powers by unknown forces and are assigned into two factions depending on the oath bracelets. Blue bracelets for the blue team, red bracelets for the red team. These girls become Kämpfers when they come into contact with a semi-popular brand of creepy cute plush, dubbed Entrails Animals, who function as their magical-girl-esque mascot helpers. Technically they’re called Messengers, but they’re mascots to me.

However, rather than fight monsters of the week like magical girls, Kämpfers are engaged in endless battles of red versus blue for reasons that are deliberately obscured. These take the form of random ambushes rather than a duel or sport-like competition, and every Kämpfer is assigned a class. Namely warrior, rogue, and mage— or rather Schwert, Gewehr, and Zauber. With Schwert being so vague that it covers anything from a katana to daggers on chains to a sickle. Gewehr meaning pistol or submachine gun. And Zauber meaning fireballs or smaller nondescript magic missiles.

It is a workable enough premise for a death game featuring school-based warfare with fantastical weapons, but… that’s not really what Kämpfer is. That’s what it claims to be at the start of the start of its story, and I’ll get to how it falters later.

Despite being a girls-only death game, the story actually follows a high school boy named Natsuru Seno. An average-as-dirt milquetoast protagonist whose most remarkable features are his general naivete, lack of social awareness, romantic ignorance, and the fact that his female form is a regular old hottie. He’s clearly meant to be a self-insert for the protagonist to relate to via the first-person perspective present in the original light novel. But in the manga, he’s just another generally inoffensive yet bland schlub. Which is unfortunate, as so much of the story centers around him, the fact that his Kämpfer form is a girl, and the dual lives he develops from this new identity.

Natsuru’s primary love interest is Kaede Sakura, a school beauty admired by all whose only flaw is her fascination with the Entrails Animals plushies. Which obviously means she is somehow related to the origins or secret of the Kämpfer, despite not being a Kämpfer herself. Her thing is being indifferent toward masc-Natsuru while being ravenously in love with fem-Natsuru.

Joining Natsuru as his sole blue team ally is Akane Mishima, a timid and bookish girl who steadily develops a relentless devotion to Natsuru as the two spend time together. When she becomes a Kämpfer, she undergoes two transformations. A physical one, where she loses her glasses and headband while trading in her brown eyes and hair for shades of crimson. And a personality transformation, with her Kämpfer form being foul-mouthed and crass, speaking in a variety of different ways depending on who’s translating her.

I think this personality shift is a great idea. A reserved character whose empowered form sees her embracing the full of her id and abolishing all filters. It frees Akane from her inhibitions, gives her a chance to reconcile who she is, and forces her to engage in her worst impulses as she is thrown into dire situations, while gaining immense strength. It is having her embrace her true self, gaining power, and gaining the opportunity to rethink who she, as a teenager, wants to be as an adult. …Unfortunately, Akane is the only character to undergo a personality shift, and I don’t think she actually ever learns anything from it. So much for that idea!

The leader of the red faction is the cool and composed student council president, Shizuku Sango, who appears as a threatening and ruthless force throughout the early chapters. She has every marking of an effective antagonist, being so much higher than either Natsuru or Akane on the social ladder, being so much more mature and regimented, and having an effective ‘cool bitch’ aura. But like many antagonists who came before her, she eventually joins the protagonist’s party as a goody-good. 

Also, as a slight note, the anime gave her black hair that gained a lavender underlayer when in her Kämpfer form. Here she has blue hair, just like Natsuru, and gains a white underlayer instead. …Yeah, blue hair just does not work with her character. It breaks an anime law.

Last and… least, there is Mikoto Kondo, Natsuru’s early childhood friend who has spent the bulk of her life traveling the world with her archeologist parents. That sounds like a really novel backstory and a good excuse to make her an eclectic treasure trove of eccentricities. Instead, she’s just the more brazen childhood friend type who wants to get together with the boy she took baths with as a baby. She does not become a Kämpfer until volume 5, where she is on team red and when she does, her brown hair becomes blonde. That’s it.

Before beginning, I want to say that there is nothing openly wrong with this cast of characters, but they are all lacking a certain something. An intention and desire for growth beyond the narrow archetypes they are assigned. Or if the characters don’t grow, there are plenty of ways to use them to tell a fun and engaging story.

I have encountered stories that have conceptual problems from moment one— hell, I’ve written more than I’d care to admit— but Kämpfer is not one of them. There are a lot of things it could do to be a well-told and entertaining story with character drama, comedy, and super-powered weapons-based action. …Unfortunately, its execution misses the mark on just about every level.

Those are some bold words, so let me dive in and walk you through the tale of Kämpfer.

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Bands Eins und Zwei: Schnell und Vielversprechend
(Swift and Promising)

Starting off, Kämpfer’s beginning chapters are… actually pretty strong. 

It immediately jumps into Natsuru’s first awkward transformation into his female form. Introduces his partner, Disemboweled Tiger, who vaguely explains that he was chosen by a “Moderator” and must fight. Introduces Kaede/Sakura as they run into each other at a bus stop. And begins things with a bang as Akane points a gun directly at Natsuru’s head, just to make sure the audience gets engaged early on. Natsuru has his first clunky battle, knowing nothing about fighting, let alone moving around in a different body, and in defending Sakura from Akane, he awakens his Kämpfer power of… fireballs. All of which leaves Sakura swooning, when really she should be in awe over how the hell magic exists and that this crazy girl in her school’s uniform was firing a gun, in Japan. I know I wouldn’t go to school after something like that. Still, it goes through a lot of things without getting bogged down, and is a good first chapter.

Chapter 2 continues to lay the foundation for the rest of the story, first by establishing the core setting of Seitetsu High School. A formerly ‘co-ed’ high school that was recently split in half, with a wall and barbed wire separating them outside. I’ll get to my problems with this school in the next section, but for now it serves as an opportunity for Natsuru to meet with Akane in her timid form, where they gather in the co-ed library. Akane explains more about Kämpfers, that they need to work as allies, and predictably starts crushing on Natsuru, as he’s probably the first man she’s had a meaningful conversation with in months. They bicker and banter to build their relationship when they sense an enemy Kämpfer appearing, marking the introduction of Shizuku.

She stays in the shadows during her initial appearance, attacking long-range with her knives and chains, using the bookcases for cover, and keeping herself scarce to avoid Akane’s wild gunfire. Shelves topple, hundreds of dollars of books are destroyed by knives and bullets, and Natsuru, still a complete greenhorn, is mostly an inconvenience and spectator, because he’s still completely new to all this. Shizuku clearly has the upper-hand here, is close to winning, yet leaves as the class period concludes, forcing her to return to her presidential duties.

The threat established and combat quota met, the story then takes a breather and delves into the TSF angle by thrusting Natsuru into the female school. There he runs into Masumi Nishino, a hyperactive side character who gets completely shafted later on, yet makes a great introduction here. She’s the first person to outwardly praise and emphasize how attractive fem-Natsuru is, treats him as a girl with no reservations, and takes him clothes shopping. She even recommends that he try on a t-shirt that reads “Kill Teacher Kill Cop” with a graphic of two chainsaws beneath it. Which is— objectively— the most badass piece of clothing anyone could recommend.

Unfortunately, Natsuru does not wear it and nail the punk girl look from day one, but at least he beats up some creeps who like raping high school girls in karaoke parlors. Which is such a great bit of character building, showing that while Natsuru might sometimes be a girl, he’s a girl who doesn’t take shit from any dude. Being a girl only makes him stronger, damn it!

The following day, Shizuku brings Sakura, Natsuru, and Akane into a small room and basically explains that she knows who the two are Kämpfers, and knows Natsuru’s ‘secret identity.’ An effective display of her clout as student council president and the fact she is a step, or three ahead of the blue team. Sakura then asks Natsuru if he can arrange a meeting between her and the blue-haired girl who saved her from Akane in chapter 1,. Natsuru, not wanting to upset his crush, meets with her and gives his female form the name… Natsuru Seno. I’d complain, but after Ranma ½ and Futaba-kun Change, this is practically a boneheaded TSF protagonist tradition. 

The meet-up goes well— Natsuru even beats up a few violent men in front of her— and ends with Sakura confessing before fem-Natsuru, thus establishing a core conflict of this series. Natsuru is in love with Sakura and wants her to love him as a man, while Sakura is in love with fem-Natsuru. It’s a conflict that could easily be solved by Natsuru being upfront with her, but conflict makes a story interesting, and there’s nothing wrong with this broad idea. The problem is that… this establishes Sakura as a lesbian, and Natsuru doesn’t do much to earn her favor as a boy, but I’ll get into that later.

The next chapter, chapter 5, follows fem-Natsuru’s date with Sakura, showing him in public as a girl in casual clothes, walking around with Sakura, hitting up a movie, enjoying dinner, and having a good time. While not the most effective date sequence I’ve covered, it does its job and ends with Sakura asking to make their relationship ‘official’. Natsuru, noncommittal dork he is, flees and asks Akane and his mascot companion, Disemboweled Tiger, for help, before returning to her… only to see Sakura missing, replaced by Shizuku. She coyly reveals that she’s a Kämpfer to Natsuru and sits him down to discuss things.

Shizuku has captured Sakura (in the span of ~3 minutes) and rather than cause a public scene to fight over her, she schedules a time and place for their battle. Presumably because she wants to lure them into a trap and dispose of them swiftly. This marks the end of the first volume, and If the length of this recap isn’t enough of an indication, a lot of stuff happens here. However, with the length of a full tankobon, it does not feel too rushed or bloated, and manages a good balance of action, tension, comedy, and character building. It is, by all accounts, a good first volume for a series.

Volume 2 opens up with Natsuru launching his plan to rescue Sakura from Shizuku, reasoning that Shizuku would keep her somewhere in the school… for some reason. Yeah, they never explain this rationale, and just assume that Sakura must be somewhere in the girls’ school, meaning they need to investigate any suspicious rooms. 

There’s actually a super easy way for Natsuru to get into the girls’ school— turn into a girl and walk in along with the entire morning crowd, investigating things before or during class. However, the series eschews that simple approach for an elaborate infiltration scheme involving The Underground Committee for Normal Coed Relations. Basically, a way for male/female students to sneak into the other side. …Again, I’ll get to that in the next section. The ensuing 25 pages dedicated to this are fine. They introduce some worldbuilding, have characters interact for the first time, and feel like deliberate set-up for something more. How Natsuru’s male friend interacts with Kämpfer Akane, giving Masumi more screen time, and showing Natsuru and Akane act more as a team. It’s still early on, and still laying the foundation.

Natsuru and Akane eventually do find Sakura, along with Shizuku, who caught word of their presence and is ready to fight, thus leading into the longest fight sequence in the entire series at roughly 45 pages. And… it’s also the best. Shizuku is a relentless force whose daggers bring destruction, and while Akane is equipped with the better weapon— a gun— she lacks the discipline to aim it effectively. This forces the blue team to stay on the defensive, running away from this trained veteran while Natsuru tries to channel his powers once again, launching immense fireballs at Shizuku.

All of this comes to a head when they arrive in a storage room filled with potential cover and obstacles for Natsuru and Akane to avoid Shizuku. Yet rather than risking things with a projectile fight, Natsuru decides to use the environment to his advantage and burn down the whole damn school set off the sprinkler system. This change in environment is enough to leave Shizuku frazzled and, after a two pronged attack, Akane points a gun against her forehead.

Akane is ready to fire and bring in the next threat in this battle manga, but Natsuru is a pure shonen hero who does not want a murder on his conscience and offers to make a truce with Shizuku. He wants her to release Sakura and not involve her in any of this Kämpfer stuff going forward. Akane disapproves, but despite having a big mouth and trigger finger, she doesn’t have any real bite. Shizuku is then freed, ending her tenure as a rival and beginning her role as an ally.

Immediately after this— in the same chapter no less— the final main cast member is introduced with Mikoto, back from her global travels and eager to reconnect with Natsuru. The two catch up as they walk to school the next day— wait, would the school actually be open if one room was destroyed, and another was severely water damaged? Either way, she makes a good first impression, but quickly gets sidetracked by rumors about a mysterious female Natsuru running around the school. Why? Because Mikoto is the daughter of history majors and loves a good mystery, even if it is more of an ongoing rumor. This re-emphasizes the importance of the dual identity storyline and leaves off volume 2 with the promise of more chaos.

While the Shizuku encounter is admittedly a bit lengthy— there’s a reason it was reworked in the anime adaptation— it continues to lay its foundation, delivers with the action, and things are consistently happening. A trend that is continued into volume 3, where fem-Natsuru begins attending Seitetsu High School. A process that would ordinarily require some finagling, but Shizuku has presidential authority and accessed the database before forcing this arrangement on Natsuru.

As a tall, pretty, busty, husky-voiced hottie, fem-Natsuru is immediately beset upon by his new classmates, squealing at him, begging to be around him, and treating him as their class’s very own idol. It’s expected for school-based TSF stories, and something that I am of two minds about. Mechanically, this is meant to contrast the protagonist’s humdrum life by throwing him into something more exciting and wild. And socially, this should be a major shift for Natsuru. 

Natsuru is going from an average Yamada Taro to being among the most desired people in a school full of vain girls. He should have a more extreme reaction to this, and instead just seems… overwhelmed by all this. He lacks the confidence to be the tall beauty people take him to be, and while he gets momentarily flustered by this new attention, he also does not seem to have strong feelings about it. There is no sense that he needs to adjust himself around others, perform as a girl, or enjoy the newfound attention. It’s all this mildly awkward uneasiness that I guess is supposed to be funny? Maybe?

However, this shift also raises broader questions about the way Kämpfer manages its school setting, and now seems like a good time to break into a tangent. 

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Band Zwei Komma Fünf: Schule einer Sinnlosen Segregation
(School of Senseless Segregation)

As stated earlier, Seitetsu High School is cleanly divided into male and female sides. This is a very important part of the setting, but it’s also something that really doesn’t work within the context of the story.

While I am vehemently opposed to segregation in education— hot take, I know— and think it makes people less functional and more bigoted, I will admit that they have some narrative utility. Whether the author only wants to show cute guys or handsome girls, tell a story specific to people of one gender, or so forth. And in a TSF story, I think segregated schools represent an opportunity for characters to build identities by crossing over into the boy world and girl world. Kind of like in Ame Nochi Hare. (I wasn’t a fan of the manga, but it was a good idea.) However… Kämpfer does not really do that. 

At the boys’ school, Natsuru only really has one point of contact, Mikihito Higashida. As Natsuru’s alleged friend, he’s the type of slimy pervert and scumbag who littered 2000s manga series in order to make the main character seem more pure by comparison. Higashida wants to be a class clown, but everything he does makes me think ‘this dude will absolutely wind up on a sex offender registry.’ Meanwhile at the girls’ school, Natsuru is surrounded by nearly every other named character in the series, is beloved by his peers, and has the opportunity to hang out with them.

The story also struggles to figure out how characters should traverse these two buildings. The most logical answer is through the library, a coed common area located right between the two schools. Throughout the series, we get a pretty good look at the library, and it does not seem to be a secured or guarded area. It’s a perfectly reasonable place for students to be, and as far as I can tell, there isn’t any real security. No guards to prohibit entry, no student IDs that open one door but not another. And even if so, with Akane and Shizuku, Natsuru should be able to work around any restrictions. …Or, better yet, he could just turn into a girl/boy while in the library, hiding behind some bookshelves.

Instead, the story occasionally makes it a big to-do whenever Natsuru needs to cross over to the girls’ side. Having him contact the aforementioned Underground Committee and pursuing increasingly wacky navigational methods. From using a collapsible ladder to cross over the gap… which does not adhere to the dimensions shown in chapter 2. To digging a tunnel under the wall splitting the campuses. It turns the act of getting from side B to G more complicated than it needs to be.

There could be some drama involving Natsuru getting stuck in the wrong campus, as, starting out the series, he is unable to control when he transforms. But later on in volume 3, a third of the way through the series, he just gets the ability to control when he does and doesn’t transform. He’ll transform into his female form if someone attacks him, but otherwise, he has things under his control. Natsuru doesn’t need water, erections, or electricity. He just needs to think and poof, he’s ka-girl’d! 

This all means there is barely anything for Natsuru to do at the boy’s school. …In fact, the only real reason Natsuru has to attend school as a boy is the faint chance that he can see Sakura, who is basically in a different school. It’s a needlessly complicated arrangement, something that should have been caught when working on and outlining the initial draft of this story, but it wasn’t. 60% of all problems with a story can be avoided in writing a good outline. 20% by having someone else read it and offer feedback. And 20% can be hashed out when writing/editing.

Also, and this is just something I noticed while doing this write-up, but something is bizarre about the way Seitetsu high school handles its uniforms. Typically, Japanese schools have two uniforms. A summer uniform from June to September with short sleeves, and a winter uniform with long-sleeves for October to May. And it is customary in most high-school-set series to have characters change uniforms to show the passage of time. In Kämpfer, they don’t follow this rule, as the uniforms never change and don’t follow this seasonal rule, despite time passing and summer break happening in volume 7.

The male students are always shown wearing short-sleeves while the female students are most often wearing long-sleeves. However, Natsuru is always wearing short-sleeves, either in his normal or Kämpfer form. Akane normally wears a long-sleeve uniform, but that changes to short sleeves when in her Kämpfer form, which has a black undershirt with longer sleeves than the black undershirt Natsuru wears. Shizuku is always in long sleeves, regardless of her form. Mikoto wears a long-sleeve uniform too, but when she becomes a Kämpfer, her uniform inverts from white to black and black to white and it becomes short-sleeved. Oh, and she also gets a black undershirt, except this one has long-sleeves. 

Don’t Japanese schools have rigid rules about what uniform should be worn when, as everybody is supposed to look uniform? Why don’t characters switch between summer and winter uniforms? Why are the guys not allowed to wear sleeves? Why does nobody ever ask why fem-Natsuru is wearing a different uniform than anyone else? It raises so many questions, and there are truly no answers…

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Band Drei: Die Risse Beginnen sich zu Formen
(The Cracks Begin to Form)

After building a good foundation with the first two volumes, volume 3 is where that starts to fall apart. The story loses sight of where it is and what it wants to be and becomes a lot more jumbled. During this ‘early-middle’ section, things do happen, but plot points are dragged out, and it reads as a creator biding time while planning out the rest of the series.

After Natsuru starts attending the girls’ side of school, one of the first significant things that happens to him is that he’s dragged into a surprise bad-faith interview with Masumi. Natsuru struggles to come up with a backstory and after maliciously interpreting a non-answer as an omission, she publishes an article in the school paper saying that fem-Natsuru… is a lesbian! Which isn’t incorrect, I guess. 

This is initially presented as a source of conflict, with Mikoto getting angry that her school will be associated with some lesbo, but it really isn’t. When fem-Natsuru goes to the girls’ side the following day, he gets bombarded with girls confessing that they prefer girls and is so popular that they need to hold 30 second meetings with his admirers. 

…Then 20 pages later, the subplot morphs. Mikoto confronts fem-Natsuru about this rumor and usurps it with another rumor that fem-Natsuru is actually interested in masc-Natsuru. A decent enough idea… that she only believes after fem-Natsuru accidentally nods when he should have shaken his head. The entire lesbian angle is dropped, and it just begs the question of why not have Masumi publish an article pushing masc-Natsuru X fem-Natsuru?

The confusion continues with the secondary plot of this volume, which is gradually built up through a few encounters with a dual-revolver-wielding red Kämpfer named Midori Kuzuhara. Despite being presented as a new major character, her appearances are little more than a reminder that this is technically an action story. And her screen presence and background are so weak that I genuinely could not find her name mentioned in the manga. She attacks Natsuru and Akane in the open area twice. Writes a letter telling Natsuru to meet her at school at night, and lasts 12 pages before getting beaten by the two blue Kämpfers… and also Shizuku.

At Midori’s defeat, Shizuku introduces three new bits of insight into Kämpfers. One, their actions are observed by the Moderators, who have humans observe them, despite Kämpfers already having Entrails Animals and magical bracelets. Two, when Kämpfers lose in battle, like Midori just did, they are erased from reality, with nobody able to remember them or who they were. …Just like in Final Fantasy Type-0! And three, the only reason why Shizuku had Natsuru attend the girls’ side was so Shizuku could ‘end’ Midori, who was monitoring her for the Moderators. 

However, fem-Natsuru was already established at the girls’ side, and after killing Midori, so he’s staying there as a student going forward. Also, he’s accumulated enough Kämpfer EXP to transform at will. Meaning that the whole conflict between crossing between the schools is done! 

The volume then comes to an end with a meeting between Natsuru and Sakura, who declares a romantic rivalry over the heart of fem-Natsuru. …Which would be promising if the story ever did anything with it (it doesn’t). It could also be avoided by masc-Natsuru saying that he’s not interested in fem-Natsuru. But no, he can’t do that, because the writer needs to cling to whatever conflict he can.

It’s also around this point where it becomes clear how this whole ‘relationship dynamic’ becomes clear. Akane, Mikoto, and Shizuku are all interested in masc-Natsuru, as he’s the only young man they know and/or talk to. Sakura is a lesbian only interested in fem-Natsuru. The lore of the school says that Natsuru X Natsuru is a thing, despite the two never being seen in the same room together. While Natsuru is only interested in Sakura, because he had a crush and he doesn’t want to throw himself at the three women who are far more interested in him.

This is all a fairly standard romantic relationship chart— just trade the masc/fem for any sort of alter ego— but I straight up do not like this entire genre of relationship-based conflict. 

So many stories with romantic elements rely on what I call ‘conflicts of communication’. Conflicts born from how characters do not share their feelings with others, as they are too awkward, ignorant, or socially inept to understand how or when they should share something. This ignores one of the first rules of any effective romantic relationship. The ability to communicate with one’s partner and convey their desires. If someone loves someone, they should be honest with them. They NEED to be honest with them if they want things to last. And rather than feature such honesty, many authors jerk their characters around and have them get too frazzled or intimidated to express their feelings.

Yes, fear, uncertainty, and doubt are very strong when discussing matters of love. Yes, many characters are inexperienced and do not know how relationships actually work. It is fine to have characters have no idea what they are doing, and it can be hilarious if they screw up. Romance is a tragedy of human beings trying to convey their desires through the awkward mesh of language and social restrictions, and there are boundless ways to make one compelling. But having them fail to say what they are feeling, relying on other parties to read the vibe and act things out in the way they ‘should’? That’s just making the characters socially stupid because the writer doesn’t want to progress the actual story of a romance. The relationship. Love does not end with “I love you.” That’s when the prologue ends.

This is not me going against slow-burn love stories about people who develop feelings for each other over time. I love those! This is me going against stories where the outcome is obvious, feelings are established, but characters are too cowardly to state their feelings. Characters in a romance story need to be proactive because unless one is proactive with love, they lose. They wind up alone, wind up in shitty relationships with people who aren’t their friends, and live the rest of their days musing over hypotheticals. If an author wants to write a story about these ideas, that’s dope. But if you are going to write a romance, please, have the characters talk to each other like human beings.

…And don’t tell me ‘this is just how relationships work in Japan.’ That’s a goldarn lie! And even if it were true, the Japanese are not some alien species. Their culture, like all cultures, can and should evolve over time.

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Band Vier: Es Gibt Keine Schönheit zu Bestaunen
(There is No Beauty to Behold)

Kämpfer volume 4 is largely based around the Seitetsu school culture festival and its related activities, namely a beauty pageant amongst the female student body. It’s also an event where the whole segregated school thing just… stops mattering, as students are in meetings together and apparently working together despite extensively being different schools. Despite this, Natsuru and Akane still wind up digging a ‘secret hole’ to connect the two schools that… never comes up again. Brilliant.

Much of this early section is just spent doing set-up for the actual pageant, making sure that all the relevant girls sign up, and smaller character building scenes. Just giving them an excuse to get together and chat, have a meal together, or discuss details about Kämpfers, despite there being no actual Kämpfer battles in this volume. Scenes like these do end up strengthening the connections between Natsuru and the girls— they establish that the girls do want to be with him. But scenes like these are repeated several times, all while Natsuru fails to do anything to warrant this devotion.

Predictably, the festival activity chosen by fem-Natsuru’s class is a maid café, meaning Natsuru gets to flaunt around in an extra skimpy maid café outfit. In the context of a TSF story, things like this represent a distinct challenge for a protagonist, as they need to choose how to process the feminine expectations placed on them. Do they adapt and become a doting maid, become a nervous wreck whose fear is interpreted as being cute, or assert dominance when expected to be servile? In Kämpfer… fem-Natsuru just gets molested by his class of sapphic peers, never really presenting much of a strong opinion beyond discomfort and embarrassment. He does not view it as an attack on his gender, he just views it as weird.

This leads into a scene where fem-Natsuru is stripped down and fondled by Akane, who refuses to stop even when asked, and it starts looking like she’s about to rape him. Fortunately, Sakura appears— for some reason— and at this point in the story, Akane has zero tolerance for Sakura. Not because Sakura did anything to her personally, but because Akane wants Natsuru all to herself, and wants the two’s relationship to shatter. Which she tries to do by saying that fem-Natsuru hates homosexuality, including lesbians like Sakura. Fem-Natsuru tries to counter this claim… but he neither stops Sakura as she runs away, nor does he get angry at Akane for lying on his behalf to the woman he loves. He doesn’t slap her for being a homophobic brat, he just stomps away, pissed off over what happened, but not at who was responsible.

This is where I realized that… Akane sucks. She’s a shit stirrer who likes to needlessly complicate things and does very little to endear herself to both Natsuru and the reader. She is possessive of Natsuru and wants to claim him through whatever means she can, yet she also does not trust or respect him enough to speak to him like a human being. 

Akane is constantly fighting with the other girls around her, viewing them as romantic rivals rather than friends, and is not above outright lying. All of which is frustrating because when she is in her aggro Kämpfer form, she’s a lot of fun. She rises past being a brat and becomes a badass boss-ass bitch who will happily tell someone to go fuck themself, right to their face. This crassness is so refreshing, and it makes me wish that Akane developed her persona to find some common ground between these two. In practice, all she learns is how to talk back to people. Her character is just wasted here.

Going back to the story, it’s finally time for the beauty pageant, and when I was reading this, I was excited to see what the author would pull. Beauty pageants are pretty much a TSF staple at this point, and there are a lot of ways to do them well. Just look at Futaba-kun Change, Idol Pretender, or Boku Tamasaburo. They are an opportunity to immerse a male character into a deeply female activity that has them be seen and judged as a woman by a, mostly male, audience. They can be humiliating, exhilarating, an environment for hi-jinks and wardrobe malfunctions, and benefit from the conflict inherent to a competition. 

Unfortunately, this is not actually a beauty pageant. It is a last hurrah for Masumi, who is fully irrelevant afterwards. Another platform for bickering among the main cast. Another opportunity for Akane to try murdering Sakura with her gun. A shameless excuse to have Sakura in a wedding dress. And an opportunity for Shizuku to come in, knock everybody out, and use violence to prove herself to be the winner of a beauty pageant. I know that description sounds like I’m omitting key details, but I’m really not. Things just sort of happen in this story.

After the pageant, Shizuku steals Natsuru’s first kiss— which is a romance flag if I’ve ever seen one— and it turns out that there was an Entrails Animal in the bridal bouquet that Sakura threw. And who grabs that bouquet other than… Mikoto. 

But rather than end on that strong note, the comic then skips between another maid café scene where Natsuru and Sakura, where Sakura has seemingly forgotten that fem-Natsuru is supposedly homophobic. A scene where Mikoto tells Natsuru that the Entrails Animal plush she found has been speaking to her— basically telling him she’ll be a Kämpfer next volume. And a scene where Akane breaks into Natsuru’s home— she does that a lot— and when she hears that Natsuru is meeting with Sakura in a week, she points a gun at him. …For telling her that he has plans. A week from now. With a longtime friend of his. This isn’t even Akane being a yandere. Girl’s just straight up a possessive and manipulative cunt.

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Band Fünf und Sechs: Wir Haben Fast die Hälfte Geschafft!
(We’re Almost Halfway Done!)

It’s onto volume 5, meaning that we are out of the professionally translated zone and into the fan translation gulags of less consistent quality. Honestly though, the fan translations here are more than sufficient, and in some respects, namely the dialogue for Kämpfer Akane, I think it’s a bit better.

Things begin with Mikoto making her debut as a Kämpfer, where she is her usual self but with blonde hair, a different eye color, and her weapon of choice is a regular old katana. She appears before fem-Natsuru in the library, making a bold, dramatic entrance after being told her mission by her mascot companion. This could represent an interesting encounter, where two long-time friends need to fight one another, but Natsuru has learned one way to avoid conflict, and does just that. Mikoto rushes at him, destroying some books in the process, so Natsuru chucks a fireball at the nearest sprinkler, setting off the fire alarm and destroying thousands of dollars worth of books.  …And no, that’s not just me being pessimistic and reading into things. The library was severely damaged after this incident and most of it is blocked off for the rest of the series.

After wrecking the library, Mikoto tells masc-Natsuru and Akane the details about her becoming a Kämpfer— I guess her mascot companion didn’t tell her not to be a blabbermouth. Rather than just tell her the truth now and avoid conflict, they just accept this and go about their plans for the next day, when fem-Natsuru, Akane, and Shizuku visit Sakura’s home for a sleepover. They engage in casual lesbian antics, because it’s that kind of manga. Discover that Sakura has a limited edition Entrails Animal, Burnt Alive Lion that was based on a design she came up with as a child, further strengthening her obvious connection to these things. And after debating on who gets to bathe with fem-Natsuru, they decide to all head out to the local bathhouse.

This is a standard set-up for some sapphic ecchi hi-jinks, but Natsuru… doesn’t want to go in, as he doesn’t want to see his naked female body. …I need to pause and stress that the story has been going on for weeks at this point. That Natsuru has had the ability to shift into a female form at will for weeks. Yet, despite this, he has not checked out his female body or gotten ‘intimate’ with it. I’m not going to say a creator needs to have a TS’d protagonist check themself out after a transformation, but Natsuru is not supposed to be some chaste and pure person. He’s supposed to be an average dude. And choosing to not have an average cishet dude not want to see naked girls or look at a naked girl, after weeks of living as one part-time, is just dumb.

Fem-Natsuru’s plan to turn back into a dude to bathe is foiled when Mikoto appears and slices up a vending machine for fun. Natsuru wants to avoid making a scene, so he rushes through the male baths, forcing Mikoto to be around a bunch of naked men. Her mortified reaction to seeing naked middle-aged men’s junk is so extreme that it codes her as a lesbian, but I think that her shock is more due to her… innocence than anything else.

Their battle takes them into the bathwater where Mikoto drains the pool by… poking into the tile with her sword. Which is not how bathtubs work, and even if it was, this is a giant tub meant for dozens of people, and it would take several minutes for a human-wide hole to drain, let alone a crack in the floor. Regardless, this gesture means nothing, as Shizuku and Akane both show up and trounce the untrained Mikoto. They then take her unconscious body to a nearby park— and later Sakura’s home— where they explain everything to her. That the Kämpfers have established a truce with each other. That both masc-Natsuru and fem-Natsuru are the same person. And in return, Mikoto tells them she was assigned to look after Shizuku and report back to a vague someone. 

Sakura then barges in as this conversation comes to a lull, and begins stirring the gang into an argument over who gets to sleep in the same room as Natsuru. Natsuru winds up sleeping alone, dressed in cat hoodie pajamas, turns back into a guy, gets a surprise visit from Sakura. But before anything fun can happen, Akane comes in with her gun out, ready to kill Sakura. Natsuru acts quickly by… knocking a pillow against Sakura’s head, causing her to faint (that’s how I read it anyways). Then, just as Akane is about to say she loves Natsuru, a random girl with a chain-sickle crashes through the skylight. She attacks them for four pages, flees as the entire Kämpfer crew shows up, and leaves the room in utter disarray. With holes lined with bullets, a floor covered in broken glass, and a shattered ceiling-mounted window.

The main four intuit that she must be another Kämpfer, and later in the same chapter, we see that she is part of another group of four, of rival Kämpfers. Well, they are Kämpfers, but they do not actually transform when they have their Kämpfer powers, because I guess recoloring them would be too much work. Now, these characters are important, do appear throughout the rest of the series, and they all have names and unique designs. However, they all function as a unit and their individual characteristics are hardly worth mentioning. For now, they are just the gen 2 rival Kämpfers of an ambiguous color, as their bracelets are covered by their long sleeves. 

Back on track, the final chapter of volume 5 sees another member of the rival Kämpfers show up and intimidate Natsuru, telling him to default to his female form, as he is the key to winning this war. Which sounds ominous, but… I’ll get to it later. More bantering follows, Natsuru agrees to go help Akane buy books for the school— which should be a teacher’s job— and he later finds in his bedroom, with Sakura’s precious Burnt Alive Lion in her hands. She then has Natsuru’s Entrails Animal, Disemboweled Tiger, try to communicate with this creepy cute plush, revealing that he is alive. 

Through ample coaxing, Burnt Alive Lion reveals what he knows and offers the first bout of insight into the background of the Kämpfers. At this point, the story has not only drifted so far away from the red vs blue dynamic that it is a distant memory, but there is still no reason why the Kämpfers exist. And that reason is… aliens.

There are two alien forces who have been engaged in endless battles for generations. After destroying so much in the conflict, the groups created a neutral party, the Moderators, and began staging proxy wars involving representatives from each side. Instead of having, I don’t know, two of their own battle each other in a game of wits or skill, they decided to make things ‘fair’ by selecting random people not involved in their conflict. Namely high school students from earth, who are randomly assigned to one of these two factions. …Also, the females in this alien race wage war while the males protect their homes, so all Kämpfers are girls, including Natsuru. Now, why was Natsuru chosen rather than any high school girl? I’ll get to that.

Following that lore dump, Burnt Alive Lion goes to sleep and will not be relevant again until the final chapter of the series. This leaves Natsuru and Shizuku to discuss these things, ponder that Sakura might be a moderator— she is and it is obvious— and they get into some forced drama when Mikoto barges in. I want to just pause and highlight how many of these ‘bickering scenes’ are in the story. They did a number to sap my motivation while reading this, as I kept wanting something new to happen, and for the sake of this recap, I am just skipping over them.

The following day, the main four are going on an outing and, while attending a family restaurant, they finally meet the four new rival Kämpfers in one place. Machine gun lady, chain-sickle girl, cutlass lass, and the single other magic user in this entire series, who has the power of magic missiles and force fields.

They appear, fight in a hard-to-follow cluster of action, and offer vague banter before finally establishing who exactly they are. They are all Kämpfers working for the Moderators, the White Kämpfers and have been given their powers simply because the red and blue forces are not engaging in combat. So they are going to… Um…

I’ll be honest, I have no idea what the White Kämpfers actually want to do, and when asked, they mention how Natsuru is the key. How if he chooses to stay a guy, it will be “this world’s victory” and the four White Kämpfers will be erased from existence, only remembered by the main four. But if he chooses to become a girl, it will be “the other world’s victory” and result in the erasure of Akane, Shizuku, and Mikoto.

First off… what the fuck is this decision? Become a girl and destroy the Earth and kill one’s friends, or stay a boy and save the Earth from destruction? That is a terribly balanced choice! No person with any conscience would ever seriously consider that choice, no matter how abused or nihilistic. And with Natsuru… this choice makes even less sense! I called Natsuru a cishet dude earlier… because he is one, no question.

While this type of choice could be interesting for a trans character— sacrifice something for their ideal body— the stakes are way too high. And Natsuru is… the least gender curious TS’d character I have featured in the entire history of TSF Showcase. Natsuru neither likes nor hates being a girl. He does not buy pretty clothes to look at a pretty girl. He does not use his status as a girl beyond entering different parts of the school, and not the ecchi parts. He never experiments of his own fruition. Dude’s so not interested that I’d say he never once masturbates as a girl in the entire series. In a genre where absolute scumbag protagonists are common, where the main character can often just feel like a self-insertable bit of potato-based cardboard, Natsuru stands out. Because I cannot think of a single TSF protagonist so bad at their job.

Am I being harsh in saying this? Yes. But damn it, it’s true! Natsuru lacks any inner conflict over being a man or a woman. He never asks himself about what he wants to be, and I never get the impression that his relationship to femininity, to being a girl, ever significantly grows. A TSF protagonist can love it, they can hate it, they can just be a relentless pervert. I don’t care. I try to keep my mind open and like everything TSF has to offer. But Natsuru has nothing to offer.

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Band Sechs bis Neun: Präludium bis Finale
(Prelude to Finale)

Now that I am finally halfway through, I can start skimming through the rest of the comic, as so little of significance actually happens. I was going through things by volume, but things breeze by so quickly that I’m switching to chapters.

Chapter 29 and 30: Natsuru starts working at a maid café to make money, while also serving himself as a customer. It has a lot of dual identity shenanigans, but not particularly funny ones, and makes zero reference to the ultimatum introduced in the last chapter. Nothing is accomplished. It’s boring filler.

Chapter 31 and 32: Natsuru goes on a date with Shizuku— his first date with any character. Natsuru thinks that this is not actually a date, as Shizuku is so professional, but no, this is just a regular date. Because Shizuku loves him and is the only one bold enough to tell him how she feels, kiss him on the lips, and gently tell him that Sakura just isn’t interested in him. It would be a fine two chapter story, but the writer is really committed to keeping Natsuru thick and unable to accept that he is on a date. The character is not actually this stupid, he’s just written that way.

Chapter 33: This is the start of the summer vacation arc and it naturally begins with a long conversation between fem-Natsuru, Akane, and Sakura regarding what they’re going to do. You know, rather than jumping to the actual events. Akane is an obsessive bitch who thinks Sakura’s a stank-ass ho and doesn’t want her to dig her whorish talons into Natsuru, so she tries to claim him from the get-go. Natsuru tries to get Sakura to go out with his male self, but Sakura says he’s dumb, boring, and cannot take care of himself. Which is the biggest ‘she doesn’t like you, dude’ flag you could wave. But despite the bickering, the main five are all heading to a “theme park” that is actually just a hotel with a water park.

Chapter 34 and 35: The gang arrives at the water park, where there are light watery antics. masc-Natsuru helps teach Akane how to swim, which is probably a lie just meant to divert his attention. Sakura aggressively flirts with fem-Natsuru, by which I mean fondle. And the White Kämpfers lurk in the background before bursting out to attack them, just so  they can ask Natsuru if he wants to unexist his friends and live the rest of his life as a girl. He, naturally, says no and they, naturally, piss off.

Chapter 36: Natsuru makes the mistake of saying that he likes Akane’s personality the best, rather than recognizing her as the toxic woman she is. Akane and Natsuru run into one of the White Kämpfers for a compulsory three page fight scene. Shizuku reveals to the rest of the main cast that she and Natsuru went on a date and kissed, raising the second romance flag for Natsuru X Shizuku.

Chapter 37 and 38: It is revealed that Sakura has vaguely detailed mental manipulation powers and casts a spell on masc-Natsuru, causing him to obey her every command as they go out to watch fireworks. There, she tells him to have sex with Shizuku, rationalizing her command by saying that Shizuku is inconvenient for the White Kämpfers, but wasn’t their goal for fem-Natsuru to join them? Because Natsuru is important? Sakura works with the White Kampfers, she’s clearly a Moderator, so why isn’t she just brainwashing fem-Natsuru to have sex with her and join her cause? Or promising masc-Natsuru sex and affection if he joins the White Kämpfers? Because he’s such a simple guy, he might accept that.

Also, Akane and Mikoto try playing for the bronze medal for Natsuru’s affection while looking over him at the summer festival. Yes, this place is a hotel/waterpark/summer festival center. …Or maybe they just paid extra to book tickets during a festival? I don’t know! But their banter gets interrupted by one of the White Kämpfers, who appears for four pages and then runs off, only for Sakura to find her and reprimand her. First with violence and then with hugs, because she knows how to abuse effectively. With a carrot and a stick!

Chapter 39: Starting volume 8, Akane throws a fit over how Natsuru hasn’t fucked her in the shared hotel room she provided him. Fortunately, he is saved by a phone call from Sakura, inviting him to the hot springs for some yuri bath funsies. Sakura harasses fem-Natsuru, he runs away, but Shizuku finds him. But rather than assaulting him, she lowers her guard, gets silly, and does her best to show that she actually does like him. This is a good time to mention that Shizuku is the only girl who actually takes initiative around masc-Natsuru. She does not outright tell him what she wants, but she lays it on so thick and physically that it should be obvious even to Natsuru.

Chapter 40: Sakura activates Natsuru’s command to have sex with Shizuku, and with glazed eyes, he goes up to her hotel room. Shizuku gives him an opening, and masc-Natsuru throws Shizuku down on the bed. For Shizuku, the man of her affection is acting bold, acting aggressive, reciprocating her feelings, and she is loving this, eager to have him touch her. But as she asks him why he is doing this, Natsuru cannot form an answer. With disappointment, she knocks him out, with a knee to the gut. Because while she loves Natsuru, she wants her first time to have meaning, damn it! 

By the way, it actually makes sense why Shizuku is attracted to someone like Natsuru. Many powerful women prefer naïve, kinda dumb, yet fiercely loyal men. She has a type, is not exposed to it very often, and Natsuru fits the bill well enough. She doesn’t want a rival, she wants a boy toy.

This is easily one of the best sequences in the entire manga. It captures a mood, builds tension, and progresses the characters, all at the same time. …And right after this Sakura, still dripping wet from her bath, meets the Entrails Animals in a boiler room. …Including a penguin who was not introduced beforehand, never says anything, and never appears again. She says that no more delays will be tolerated and launches a new mission… but this mission is never referenced again. That’s nice. I didn’t want to know anyway!

Chapter 41: Continuing off of a good chapter, chapter 41 returns the characters to school, and sees Natsuru report his findings to Sakura. In light of his failure, she declares that he must be punished, and that punishment is… death. …Wait, what? Isn’t Natsuru special? (He is supposed to be.) Isn’t Sakura working with the White Kämpfers? (She is.) Wouldn’t she want to just have Natsuru try again, since he is still under her control? (She later does.)

Ah, screw it. Akane hears this going down and tries to kill Sakura for the dozenth time, only for her to activate her true powers, pulling out a sword and pistol, showing herself to be something beyond a Kämpfer. One whose powers are not bound by a bracelet and who can control multiple disciplines. …I’d say all three, but this girl never uses magic as it has been shown between Natsuru and whatsherface from the White Kämpfers. Sakura bails when the entire group join the fray, hopping out a three/four story window, leaving Natsuru to the wrath of the women around him after they learned what happened during the trip. Akane points her gun at him, while Mikoto tries to slash him to pieces, and they wonder why he hasn’t fallen for them.

Chapter 42: It’s finally time for a gym chapter focusing on Natsuru and Akane. The only thing of importance that happens is that masc-Natsuru and Akane see each other naked, with Akane wanting to use this opportunity to put a ring on him. Or rather, meet her parents. Same thing really.

Chapter 43: You know how Sakura bailed from the others? I thought that meant she stopped attending school, and she might have. Regardless, she appears before masc-Natsuru, who, like a total dumbass, follows her to the roof. She doesn’t activate her mind control, yet, but she does plant a trigger in his head by asking him to walk home with her. Akane tries to steal him instead, but is so determined to win this harem war that she leaves him to fall into Sakura’s clutches. As they walk home, Sakura tells Natsuru to bring everybody to her parents’ mansion in Kanagawa in two weeks. As a preemptive reward for this, he will get to fuck her alongside the artificial riverbank. Which… is such a cool, quintessential Japanese thing that I might need to steal it.

Natsuru is confused by this… but this is pretty much all he’s wanted since he became a teenager, so he begins to undress her… only for Akane to make good on her promise and shoot Sakura in the gut! HELL YEAH! Natsuru freaks out at her, thinking she just killed Sakura, only for Sakura to rise up, not even bleeding from the impact. She might not be a Kämpfer, but she’s definitely not a normal human girl either.

Chapter 44: Sakura unleashes her might against the Kämpfers, effortlessly trouncing them, avoiding their strikes, destroying their weapons, and shrugging off whatever they throw at her. With Natsuru unwilling to shoot fire at her, she’s able to dominate the other three, and could win here and now. …But she’s a comic book villain with a love for the dramatic, so she puts their final battle on hold, saying they will meet them in two weeks… and that she is still attending school. Well then why don’t they just sneak up on her and kill her? If there’s no good reason, then why throw in that detail?

Shizuku, recognizing Natsuru as a weakness in their team, tries to help him get over Sakura, saying that it is time for him to fall in love with another woman. Basically telling him to clear his heart and pick one of them before the endgame. In response, he just asks “who?” because… the writer stopped giving a shit. At least he doesn’t need to give a shit for much longer, because the story is almost over.

Chapter 45: This is the start of what I call the confession phase of the series, as it is where every one of the three non-evil heroines confess their love to Natsuru in his own way. …Only for him to put a raincheck on the confession until after the final battle with Sakura. This is meant to be a moment where the characters harken back on all they went through, the bonds they forged, and the friendship they developed. In execution… this just gave me time to reflect on how weak the characters really are and how little they feel like companions or friends.

Chapter 45 is built around two core scenes. One where Shizuku and Mikoto team up against Akane in order to… try raping Natsuru on the school rooftop. Yeah, that makes… no sense. Shizuku may just be screwing with Mikoto, but I cannot imagine why. When presented with what a chauvinist would describe as ‘every red-blooded man’s fantasy’, Natsuru ka-girls himself and jumps off the rooftop. (Unfortunately, he doesn’t die and get brain swapped into a girl’s body, like in Boku no Shotaiken). I get that this is meant to be funny, but this is such a blanket rejection that I thought this was Natsuru indicating that he has no interest in these two. 

The second one is a lot more straightforward, as it sees Mikoto finally approach Natsuru, apologizing for the rooftop incident and jumping to the actual point. Finally saying the coveted words of “I love you.” Thus ending volume 8.

Chapter 46: After confessing as a cliffhanger, this chapter caps things off with the aforementioned ‘confession raincheck’. Natsuru expresses his feelings for Mikoto, how she was always there for him, but in a way that is retroactive, and not really looking at who she is now or how they could be together. Which I’d say is a red flag. Catching wind of this, Shizuku makes her move, calling up Natsuru to visit her at school after hours, where she tells him to be more casual with her, to stop calling her “prez” before asking him ‘what she is to him.’

Chapter 47: Remembering that the target of her affection is dense, Shizuku gives a flurry of I love you’s, explaining that he’s the type of man she wants to be around. (Dumb but loyal and responsible.) She lays it on extra thick for him, discarding her cool beauty persona, and just becoming a lovesick schoolgirl. Rather than reciprocating her feelings… Natsuru talks about how he never felt anything quite like what Shizuku is displaying. Saying that even though he spent so much time as a girl, he never developed a maiden’s heart. 

He never completely viewed the world as a woman. Which I also take as a confession to the fact that he never took this whole ‘becoming a girl’ thing seriously, also known as the WORST way to write a TSF protagonist. Regardless, Shizuku makes a very strong showing, building upon the body of all the other obvious Natsuru X Shizuku shipping. 

After returning home, Akane calls Natsuru, asking him to meet with her tomorrow morning, before they launch their assault on Sakura’s mansion in another town. I’d say she snoozed and lost here, but despite her being such a cunt to him, Natsuru insists that Akane is ‘his type’. I’d say that means his type is garbage, but at this point, I think the writer was just at a loss for reasons why Natsuru would even like her.

Chapter 48: It’s the day before the final arc, and Natsuru goes to meet with Akane at a café. However, instead of being in her usual form, she’s in her gun-toting Kämpfer form. Because even when she needs to be honest, Akane is not strong enough to be her actual self and needs to rely on magic to make herself more confident. 

…Okay, that is me being a bit mean. Akane actually explains how she is convinced that she will lose her powers after this. That she will lose this fiery side of her, and she doesn’t want Natsuru to forget about her. She does not actually confess though, as I think she knows that if Natsuru has not noticed by now, it’s not worth it. She doesn’t want to open her heart just to have it shattered, and I can respect that.

With that last bit of business done and all the romance flags raised, it’s finally time for them to go to Kanagawa, to Sakura’s mansion, and put an end to her, to all this Kämpfer shit, once and for all!

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Band Neun und Zehn: Kanalisationstaucher und ein Eimer Voller Scheiße
(Sewer Divers and a Bucket of Bullshit)

Chapter 49: The main four swiftly gather that Sakura is not herself, that she was somehow replaced or augmented by some mysterious force. …Before she pulls her guise back and summons the White Kämpfers, who ambush the main four. For reasons that I do not understand, she arranges things so that all four Kämpfers are sent down a massive drain located in Sakura’s swimming pool. They know it’s a trap— it could just lead to a pit of spikes straight outta a 2D platformer— yet they go through it nevertheless, swimming as they make their way to the secret concrete dungeon.

Chapter 50: After sharing some oxygen and reconvening, the four begin examining this sewer dungeon, inferring it’s about fifty-years-old and was possibly created by the Moderators. Either way, they did a real shoddy job with the construction, as after finding a room of tattered Entrails Animals, the roof collapses, separating Natsuru and Shizuku from Akane and Mikoto. 

Chapter 51: Both parties have an encounter with some of the White Kämpfers, but easily incapacitate them. This is meant to show how much the protagonists have grown over time, but the Kämpfers so rarely use their Kämpfer powers that I cannot really believe that their skills are growing. Regular combat and practice make characters stronger, while the Kämpfers are never so much as shown training, so how are they getting better at combat? Also, the main four’s Entrails Animals, who Sakura gave a mission to in chapter 40, reconvene and decide that they should FINALLY do… something!

Chapter 52: This is where the endgame truly begins, as the main four reconvene (there really wasn’t a good reason for them to split up) in an underground laboratory. A room full of giant 5 meter tall tubes, containing a series of Entrails Animals, hooked up to a series of tubes. …Immediately, I need to ask why they are treating plushies, which are ultimately made of cotton, wool, and synthetic fibers, like biological lifeforms, except the purpose is not to make sense, it’s to look cool. More importantly, there are also teenage girls floating in tubes, including one Shizuku recognizes as her former partner, who died in combat prior to the events of the series.

Chapter 53 to 54: Following this discovery, one of the White Kämpfers jumps the group… only to be shot dead by Sakura. She overpowers the main four yet again when the ‘real’ Sakura overpowers the ‘other’ Sakura they’ve been fighting and explains what is going on. When Sakura was a little girl, she would often play around in the musty underground tunnels beneath her home, when she was greeted by a pair of eyes. Eyes that absorbed her, overpowered her, and planted themselves in her, rendering her as a mere vessel.

This ‘Other Sakura’ then takes over, kissing Natsuru and threatening to kill Shizuku’s former partner unless they do exactly what she says. More specifically, she shoves Mikoto’s katana into a glass tube containing Shizuku’s friend— this should shatter the tube, but whatever. Other Sakura then asks Natsuru and Shizuku to swear allegiance over to her, for some reason. Shizuku agrees in an attempt to save the others before toppling the ceiling with just a dagger on a chain. Because that makes sense!

Shizuku tries taking on Sakura on her own, nearly wins thanks to a dirty trick, but ultimately gets chloroformed by a White Kämpfer. With her out of the picture and the rest of the crew unable to get past a wall of rubble, they decide to leave the underground lab and meet with Akane’s dad, who I guess lives next door to Sakura’s parents.

Chapter 55: Completely breaking the tension for the sake of exposition, this chapter begins with Natsuru, Mikoto, and Akane meeting with Akane’s father. A “rice cake manufacturing designer” who went on to create the Entrails Animals plush line, which he says were inspired by descriptions he heard from a young Sakura. Why is this necessary? …It really isn’t. This discovery adds very little beyond another entrance to the underground. The characters venture down there, where they run into the Entrails Animals. I guess they have been wandering around in the dark for several hours, hoping to run into the plot. How did they even get in there if they are just plushies? No clue!

Burnt Alive Lion from chapter 26 is back and points them to the source of this whole bloody affair. The beacon for the Kämpfers, the Moderators, and aliens. An advanced alien device located deep within this underground bunker. By which I mean a stone statue with the face of a mascot character. It has the power to turn humans into Moderators and process their personalities into something more malleable. All one needs to do is look into its eyes, and they become pawns of an alien force who is dedicated to perpetuating a proxy war while also possibly planning on taking over both worlds. Point is, Sakura looked into this when she was a little girl and Other Sakura came into being.

Sakura is the one to explain the dirty details, having conveniently chosen to wait here and tie up Shizuku in chains. With the final battle at hand, Sakura begins making offers. She offers to protect and leave Shizuku untouched if Natsuru joins her. She offers Akane the ability to keep her fiery Kämpfer personality if she surrenders, when she is already expecting that personality to die. And for Mikoto… she’s got nothing to sway her, as Mikoto is given the least characterization and attention. Needless to say, they all refuse, and the final battle begins.

Chapter 56: The final chapter! While Akane and Mikoto keep Sakura busy, Natsuru wakes up Shizuku, who explains that she wanted Natsuru to run away, as she loves him. She puts him above her, and when faced with this realization, Natsuru finally says what every girl in this series has been waiting to hear. I love you. Or I guess “I’m deeply in love with you,” but same difference.

This might seem like a contentious choice, as any love story can feel a bit cheapened if the protagonist chooses the ‘wrong’ partner. But as I’ve been deliberately highlighting up to now, this has been built up for over half the comic’s run and should be no surprise. Shizuku was the most proactive, most successful, and more affectionate toward Natsuru. Akane has personality flaws up the ass. While Mikoto just doesn’t have enough to work with beyond being his childhood friend. I could see the argument that Sakura would still be his true love, but, again, she’s a lesbian, and Natsuru is a cisgender dude with no desire to have a female body. Not even to get himself off!

The power of love fuels Natsuru through the battle, allowing him to shoot balls of fire as big as his entire body, which is a great asset to have in any fight. However, Sakura is only fighting with her normal power, and as she is ganged up on, she unleashes her full might, summoning the power of… astral tentacles! This gives her a second wind, allowing her to incapacitate Mikoto— she really gets no respect— and leave the crew with no clear route to victory.

Things are looking dire yet again, and Burnt Alive Lion chimes in to explain how to defeat the final boss through a cheap unsatisfying mechanic unrelated to the combat system featured up to this point. Basically, the stone statue controls the flow of information between the Moderators and, if Burnt Alive Lion looks at it and communicates with it, he, as the first Entrails Animal, can overload and destroy it. So Natsuru grabs him, shoves his face into the statue’s face, causing everything to go up in a bright light. 

The statue crumbles. Sakura passes out— or maybe dies. Take your pick. The Entrails Animals will have their souls erased from their vessels and get crushed by rubble. Akane’s feisty side says goodbye. Natsuru says goodbye to his female self— which sounds like it might be a Tenkōsei reference. The underground crumbles. Then, in the aftermath, Natsuru and Shizuku are alone, looking at the dawn of a new morning, holding hands. This wild journey of theirs is at an end, and it is time for them to go home, to the lives they knew before becoming Kämpfers. 

…Also, I guess they saved the world from being the proxy? I don’t know.

The story spent so much time hyping up the importance of Natsuru, of their choice, and of the White Kämpfers. But none of it matters in the end. Natsuru never gets an answer to why he’s special, a key to this war, or why he was chosen for this. What the White Kämpfers said during their big debut battle amounts to absolutely nothing. The White Kämpfers are so irrelevant to the final battle that it’s not clear if they live or die. And the story has zero interest in following up on what happened between the red and blue aliens. Did Natsuru save his world but doom two others? Maybe, maybe not, the point is that it’s over. Das Ende!

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Epilog: Kämpfer ist ein Schlechter Manga und der Schlechteste TSF-Manga, den ich Vorgestellt Habe
(Kämpfer is a Bad Manga and the Worst TSF Manga I’ve Featured)

The more I read Kämpfer, the less I liked it. The more I wrote about Kämpfer, the more its flaws became apparent. And now, after talking about it for 12,000 words, I’m just glad to be done with it.

Kämpfer is a manga that is ultimately trying to do a lot, but I don’t think it does anything particularly well. As an action manga, its scenes are too sparse, abstract, and basic to really pack a punch. As a romance story, it’s trite, has flat characters, a protagonist too naïve to undergo any growth, and a writer who is clearly not interested in telling a love story, and merely milks the concept for tension. As a story, it is spotty and bizarrely balanced, featuring long stretches of filler between major plot progressions, all while fixating on concepts that are left under-detailed and underdeveloped. And as a TSF story, it only meets the barest definition possible, treating the concept more like a cheap gimmick than anything else. 

I normally like to look past the flaws and highlight what a work does well, but after a good start with its first two volumes, Kämpfer just devolves into this generic slurry. It’s filled with hollow teases that make even less sense considering most of it was produced after the light novels wrapped up. It bounces between genres in a way that makes it hard for me to definitively state what it is or wants to be. And the absolute disservice to and disinterest in TSF is simply amazing. 

Every version of Kämpfer begins with Natsuru’s first transformation. Yet the manga is resolute in its desire to rob Natsuru of any strong feelings toward his transformation. He does not love it, nor does he hate it, nor does he have more nuanced feelings about it. Dude just doesn’t even think about it. 

I went into this manga with the hope that I would find something interesting. But in the end, the most interesting thing about Kämpfer is how it fails to follow through with its many ideas. TSF fans, there is truly nothing worth looking into here.

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TSF Showcase will return on October 1st. This showcase has taken me over a week between reading, writing, editing, and grabbing images, and it’s busy season at my workplace. …And I have a novel that’s still targeting a November 5, 2024 release date.

After a manga like this… I could really use a banger to wash the crap away. …And I think that I have just the thing.